Second Chances
by Jennyphillips1980
Summary: I do not own Greys Anatomy. The story is Merder AU. What happens when Merder are reunited after almost two decades apart. Meredith is shocked when the doctor responsible for saving her daughter turns out to be Derek, the previous love of her life.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Greys Anatomy or any of its wonderful characters I am just merely borrowing them.**

**The story is Merder AU and will feature some of the Greys Characters as well as some made up ones.**

**First Chapter below... Hope you enjoy**

Chapter 1 – Amelia Carlisle

Derek was walking down the hallway he had just come from a meeting with the chief and was a little pissed off to say the least; this was the tenth time this week that he had been summoned to see the chief to discuss a VIP patient. He couldn't understand just why this case was so important to the chief. Yes, he knew that its circumstances were a little tragic and that it was also going to be a difficult surgery testing his abilities to the maximum, but he just did not understand why the Chief was getting so involved, when he had never bothered to for previous VIP patients of his.

He was headed to see the patient now; she had arrived in New York just under an hour ago. The patient was five-year-old Amelia Carlisle and she had an aggressive tumor of the temporal lobe, which was now according to her latest medical records increasing the number of seizures she had been suffering from. The tumor had been discovered a year ago and had quadrupled in size since. It was in an extremely difficult area and from what he understood from the Chief, her parents had had doctors from all over the world look at her scans and everyone had refused to operate. He had been conducting a trial recently into the area of the brain containing the type of tumor which Amelia suffered from and although he had not had any success stories yet a tiny part of him, even though he knew it would be a long shot, remained a little hopeful.

As he approached the patients room he could see the most adorable child he had ever laid eyes on sat up on the bed giggling at something the man who he presumed was her father had said to her. She had long blond hair that was flowing around her shoulders in ringlets and as the sun shined onto it, it looked golden.

Derek had seen a lot of children over the years and his sisters had been pushing them out like broad mares but he could honestly say that he had never seen one so cute and adorable. She really was an angel on earth and he suddenly felt his heart clench as the reason why she was here came at full force into his mind. He found himself saying a quick prayer as he prepared to enter the room that he would be able to keep this angel on earth where she belonged.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Derek Shepherd," he introduced himself as he held his hand out to the child's father.

"Mathew Carlisle, but everybody calls me Matt, it's a pleasure to meet you Dr, Shepherd," Matt said as shaking Derek's hand.

"And this young lady must be Miss Amelia?" Derek smiled holding his hand to her as well. Suddenly, she looked up at him and her eyes clashed with his. As he took in the deep green eyes and the coy smile which looked so familiar to him, he frantically searched his brain to think of where he had seen this child before. He was momentarily shocked by the familiarity that he didn't notice Amelia had shook his hand and had let it go. He was still holding his hand out as she spoke and also a familiar giggle brought him to his senses.

"Dada, I think Dr. Shepherds brain needs fixing too," Amelia said giggling.

"Dr. Shepherd are you ok?" Matt asked.

"Yes, sorry, it's just Amelia seems very familiar I was wondering if I had seen her somewhere before?"

"Unless you have been to Seattle? I wouldn't think so, this is the first time we have taken Lia out of Seattle."

"No, I have never been outside of New York actually. You said we?"

"Yes, my wife and I."

"Oh, I am sorry, when I just saw the two of you, I assumed that Amelia's Mom wasn't in the picture," Derek said as he glanced down at the adorable child who had now begun drawing in her drawing book.

"That's ok, there is no need to apologize, my wife is very much in the picture; she was here a little while ago to get Lia settled in but then had to fly back to Seattle. You see my wife is also a doctor, a neurosurgeon herself actually. And as you can imagine this has hit her pretty hard, it's her field and there is nothing that she can do to help her. To top it off, her boss is being totally unreasonable and delayed her handover so my wife had to practically fly in and fly back out this morning. She will be back this evening though."

"Which hospital does your wife work at?

"Seattle Grace, she is…"

"Dr. Carlisle, the Head of Neurosurgery of course. She has done some pioneering work on malignant gliomas. I have very much heard of your wife, never actually had the pleasure to meet her though."

"Well, you will meet her soon enough…"

They were suddenly interrupted by Amelia. "Yes, Mr. Derek, my Mom is the bestest doctor in the world! She fixes brains, you know, but she can't fix the boo boo on my brain because she is my Mommy and when she is my Mommy she forgets how to be a doctor. You won't forget how to be a doctor, will you Mr. Derek?"

Derek sat down on the edge of the bed and he took Amelia's hand, he just could not get over the fact of how adorable and intelligent the child was.

"No, Amelia, I will not forget how to be a doctor, I promise."

"Mr. Derek you can call me Lia, you know. It's short for Amelia, Mommy and Daddy only really call me Amelia when I am in trouble."

"Why, thank you, Miss Lia," Derek said grinning at the child.

"And you promise you will not forget how to be a doctor?"

"I promise."

"Great, so that means Mr. Derek that you will be able to fix my boo boo so that I will stop having those nasty seizures and then I will be able to do normal kids stuff."

Derek felt his heart clench really tightly in his chest, how could he answer that question when the odds were against him and that there was a strong possibility that she could actually die on his table? Suddenly he was taken out of his predicament by Amelia's father.

"Dr. Shepherd will do his best to fix your boo boo Lia, you know this."

"I know, Daddy, just wanted to check the facts for myself, you know what Mommy says, never ever rely…"

"On anyone else's information, always gather the answers for yourself, yes I know," Matt finished for her and then turned to Derek. "I am sorry, Doctor Shepherd, she is very much my wife's daughter and takes after her in every aspect."

"That's ok," Derek said with a chuckle. "Your wife must be a remarkable woman if Lia is anything to go by. I can't wait to meet her. You two must be really proud of her."

"Yes, we are, she was our unexpected miracle."

"I can imagine," Derek said as he looked on smiling at Amelia and still trying to wrack his brain as to why she was so familiar. "I'm sorry, I am going to have to leave for a bit, I just wanted to pop in to introduce myself and I will be back later with the interns for pre rounds. Lia, do you know what interns are?"

"Yes, they are nobodies at the bottom of the surgical food chain," Amelia said with a proud smirk.

"Amelia!" Matt admonished.

"It's what my Aunt Cristina says," Amelia said as she smiled at Derek.

"Sorry, Dr Shepherd, I warned my wife about the amount of time madam spends talking with her on the phone."

"No problem, Cristina sounds like an interesting person."

"She is the greatest kick ass cardiothoracic surgeon who walked this planet," Amelia said once again with a massive smirk on her face.

"Right, that's it from you, young lady," Matt chuckled. "I am afraid it will only get worse after she actually spends time in person with Cristina."

"Is her aunt also here?"

"Yes, sorry, you probably know her aunt. She works at this hospital, she is not her real aunt though, she is my wife's best friend, they went to med school together… Cristina Yang?"

"Ah yes, I know Dr. Yang," Derek said with a smirk.

"I bet you do," Matt added with a smirk of his own.

"Anyway, I will be back in a little while and hopefully get to meet your wife later. Bye Mr. Carlisle, bye Lia," Matt shook Derek's hand once again, whilst Amelia shouted bye without bothering to look up from her drawing. She was one remarkable kid and he couldn't wait to meet her mother even though he was a little nervous now that he had discovered that she was also a neurosurgeon.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It was almost 7 p.m. and Meredith was walking towards her daughter's hospital room. She had been hoping to get back a lot earlier than this and was miffed at the fact that she had probably already missed the surgeon who was going to be operating on Amelia, she would now have to wait until tomorrow to grill him. Meredith was not sure how she really felt about being back in New York either. The place held a lot of painful memories for her, it was the city where her heart had been broken. She couldn't also help but smile at the good memories the place held either though, and over the years she had often wondered what…

Her husband exiting from Amelia's room interrupted her thoughts. "Hey," he greeted her with a kiss on her cheek. "You're finally back."

"Matt, please don't start, I…" Meredith began.

"Meredith, I am not, I was just making a statement, that's all," he said with a smile as he put his hand to her cheek.

"Ok," Meredith said giving him a brief smile, "How has she been? Any…" she began to ask, slightly leaning into his hand before pulling away.

"No, no seizures today," Matt replied as he brought his hand back down. "She has been having a ball of a time, lapping up all the attention. She has missed you and was determined to stay awake until you got here."

"She is still awake?" Meredith asked in a hopeful tone.

"Yes, she is coloring in. Dr. Shepherd, he is great with her, he brought her a pile of ER charts to play with earlier. Lia has really taken to him."

"That's good," Meredith said as she smiled, "You know how she has been with all of the others. I just hope that he lives up to his reputation and is as good as Dr. Webber says he is.

"Yeah, I know I was really surprised, he seems really good with kids."

"Where were you off to anyway?"

"I was just going to go and grab a coffee, would you like one?"

"When do I ever say no," Meredith said smiling.

"Oh, a few times recently spring to my mind," Matt answered, obviously not referring to the coffee.

"Matt, we are not talking about that now, you said you understood," Meredith retorted, the smile disappearing from her face.

"And I do, I am sorry for bringing it up," Matt said leaning forward and briefly kissing Meredith on the lips. "Now go in there and see Lia, I know you want to."

Meredith simply offered him a gentle smile as she pulled back from him and leaned against the wall behind her, the smile fading as she watched him walk away and she let out a deep sigh.

"They have already set up a cot in her room for you," Matt shouted over his shoulder calling back to her as he continued to walk away.

Meredith took a deep breath before opening the door, a smile automatically gracing her face as she caught sight of her daughter. "Baby!" she exclaimed.

"Mama, you're here," Amelia said excitedly, throwing her arms up to Meredith.

Meredith walked over and picked her up off of the bed, being careful to avoid her IV leads.

"Mama, I missed you."

"And I missed you too, lots and lots and lots," Meredith said kissing her on the top of her head as she gently put Amelia back onto the bed. "What have you been up to today? I hope you have not been giving the doctors a hard time."

"Nope, I have been the bestest patient in the world, even Mr. Derek said so."

"Mr. Derek?" Meredith asked as she felt a shiver go down her spine and her heart started to beat faster. She felt that way every time she heard that name but she brushed the feeling off as Amelia continued.

"Yes, he is the one who is going to fix my boo boo and you know what else? He promised that he won't forget how to be a doctor."

"That's great honey," Meredith said as she run her hand over Amelia's head.

"But don't worry, Mommy, I don't think he is as good as you. Aunt Cristina also says so, she said he is good but not as good as you and her."

"My number one supporter, hey, what would I do without you?" Meredith felt tears immediately sting her eyes after she made that statement and quickly fought to compose herself before the dam broke.

"You ok, Mommy?" Amelia asked.

"Of course sweetie, I am fine," Meredith said as she forced a smile to her face.

"Oh oh, you know what Aunt Cristina says, that means you are not ok. What's wrong Mommy?"

"You are way too smart for your age, honestly sweetie I am ok." Meredith said as she bent over and kissed Amelia on the top of her head.

"You look sad Mommy."

"I'm not sad Lia, how can I be sad when I am with you? I really did miss you today," Meredith said as she sat down on Amelia's bed.

"You don't have to go again, do you?"

"Nope, not until you are out of here and we go back together," Meredith said with a smile. "What have you been up to, today then?"

"Drawing lots and Aunt Cristina came by and she brought me strawberry ice cream."

"She did, huh? And where is mine?"

"It is all in my tummy," Amelia giggled, just as Matt walked back into the room.

"Here is your coffee, Mer," Matt said as he handed it to her. "And just what have you two been gossiping about?"

"Girl talk, Daddy," giggled Amelia.

"Top secret," Meredith said turning back around to face Amelia and chuckling.

Derek should have been off two hours ago but had been caught up in the skills lab conducting more research and practicing his techniques, he really needed to be at the top of his game. He should have been heading straight home but found himself wandering towards his newest patient's room. Somehow he found himself drawn to Amelia for reasons he just couldn't explain. He knew it probably wasn't wise to get emotionally involved and in the past that had never been a problem for him, but there was something about Amelia that just drew him to her.

"As usual I am outnumbered," Matt said laughing as the door to Amelia's room opened. "Oh hello, Dr. Shepherd, we were not expecting you again tonight."

As soon as she heard the door open, Meredith felt it, a feeling washing over her that she had not experienced for far too long. She spun around and her emerald eyes instantly clashed with the deep blue ones in front of her and an involuntary gasp came from her.

"Oh my God! Meredith?" Derek asked in a shocked tone as their gazes remained locked.

"Derek? I don't believe it, what are you doing here?


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for the reviews from the previous 2 chapters. So the next few updates will be in flashback mode.

**Chapter 3**

**Flashback to twenty years earlier.**

"Meredith, please come tonight!"

Meredith could hear her best friend Sadie whining to her in the background. She was sitting on her bed, whilst Meredith was routing through her wardrobe. She was a little preoccupied thinking about Derek and trying to find the perfect outfit for the evening.

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Yeah, of course I am, Sadie."

"So tonight… Are you coming?"

"Sadie, I already told you that I can't, I am seeing Derek."

"Meredith! Come on, you are always seeing Derek, you only live across the street from him."

"I know," Meredith said as she giggled, thinking about how she only had to look out of her window sometimes and be able to catch a glance of him.

"Then come ice skating with us tonight, there are going to be a lot of guys from our year there."

"Sadie…" Meredith started in a warning tone.

"I know, I know, you only have eyes for Derek! But Mer, you are only fifteen, you should be having fun not getting tied down to one person, even if he is hot and in college."

"Sadie, I am not like you, I can't just sleep around, it just does not appeal to me."

"Mer, that is because you do not know what you are missing out on. Mr. Hot Shot College Boy still has not popped your cherry yet, has he? What is wrong with him? Most older guys I know would not hold out, they would have done it ages ago. You guys have been together forever it seems…"

"Yep, since my thirteenth birthday," Meredith said with a smile as the memory of Derek finally plucking up the courage to place a kiss on her lips sprang to her memory and of him also asking her officially to be his girlfriend.

"Yeah, but you were joined at the hip way before that."

"Yeah, I know."

"So just what is the hold up?"

"Derek respects me, he wanted to wait until I was ready."

"And after two years of fumbling around with each other with your clothes on, you still aren't ready?" Sadie questioned with raised eyebrows.

"I didn't say that," Meredith said as her cheeks began to heat up.

"Ok, so once again, what's the hold up? I mean, there must seriously be something wrong with him. No offense, Mer, but the guy is now in college and is still a virgin."

"Trust me, there is nothing wrong with him," Meredith said looking at Sadie, who still had a disbelieving look on her face. "You are seriously not going to let up are you?" Meredith asked as she shook her head.

"No, not until you are getting some, you don't know what you are missing out on."

"Don't worry, I will find out soon enough," Meredith said as a blush spread over her face.

"W- what?" Sadie stuttered out, "Mer come on you can't hold out on me after saying something like that!" Sadie continued when Meredith remained quiet.

"Alright ,I will tell you. My parents are going to be at the hospital gala tonight and because it is close to exams I don't have to go."

Meredith took a deep breath before continuing, "So Derek is coming over…"

"So tonight's the night?" Sadie asked practically bouncing.

"Yes, Sadie, tonight is the night."

"Oh, I am like a proud Mama!" Sadie said practically jumping on her.

"What are you two up to? On second thoughts, I don't even want to know," Meredith's father said as he entered her bedroom.

"Hey, Mr. Grey," Sadie said as she let go of Meredith.

"Hello, Sadie, how are you?"

"I am good, thanks."

"Meredith, your mother and I are going to be heading out shortly…"

"Thatch, we are going to be late…" Ellis said as she came and stood in Meredith's doorway. "Oh hello Sadie, you are still here?"

"Mom," Meredith said feeling a little embarrassed.

"Oh come on, Meredith, Sadie knows I didn't mean anything by it. Don't you Sadie?"

"Of course not. Hello, Dr. Grey."

"Meredith, I let you out of tonight so that you could study for your upcoming exams and usually when it's not study time you know that I have no problem with Sadie being here."

"It's ok, Dr. Grey, I was just about to leave so that Meredith could um…" A smirk instantly come to her face as she continued, "get on with her studying, I have some of my own to do too."

"Yes, she was just about to leave, weren't you Sadie?" Meredith said through gritted teeth.

"Yes, have fun tonight, Mer… with your um… studying," Sadie said causing Meredith to blush slightly.

"Sadie, we will see you out, we are just about to head out ourselves so, Meredith, you can get straight on with your studies," Ellis said as she walked over and kissed Meredith on her cheek. "We will be extremely late, don't wait up."

"I won't," Meredith said as her mom and Sadie began to head out of the door.

"Make sure you do get some studying done, don't let Derek stay all evening," Thatcher said as he moved closer to Meredith to give her a kiss on her cheek goodbye.

"Thanks Daddy," Meredith said trying her hardest not to blush.

"Don't stay up studying too late either," Thatcher added as he left her room, closing the door behind him.

It was just after eight o' clock when Meredith heard the doorbell ring. She glanced at herself once more in the hallway mirror before heading down the stairs; she had chosen to go with a simple loose denim skirt which fell just above her knees and a purple shirt which generously showed off the swell of her breasts.

Meredith took a deep breath before she opened the door, she couldn't help but feel incredibly nervous. She knew it was silly, she had wanted this for so long, her and Derek had spent a long time planning it. Her breath caught in her throat as she opened the door, similar to the way it always did when she caught sight of him. But there was something different about the way he looked at her tonight. "Hey," she said greeting him as her eyes met with his.

"Hey," Derek whispered out. He was rendered speechless as he briefly broke their eye contact allowing his gaze to sweep up and down her body taking in the sight in front of him.

"Are you ok?" Meredith asked giggling slightly.

"Mer, you look gorgeous," Derek said taking a step towards her and entering the house, his hands immediately going to rest on her hips as he brought her body to his. He gazed into her eyes as he bent his head down and captured her mouth with his.

Meredith instinctively threw her arms around his neck interlocking them as she pressed herself closer to him.

"Mer," he murmured into her mouth, "T- the door," he panted out against her mouth in between kisses. "W- we should close it."

"Oh yeah," Meredith breathlessly sighed against his mouth and giggled as she lifted her leg and stretched it out to kick the door closed.

Derek pulled back from her lips and brought both hands up to her face, "You are amazing, you know that?" he said brushing her hair off of her forehead with both hands slowly bringing them down the side of her face and tucking her hair behind her ears.

"What, because I kicked a door shut?" Meredith asked and giggled. Her giggling subsiding as her eyes became locked once again in an intense gaze with Derek's.

"Mer, are you sure about this?" he asked nervously.

"Derek, of course I am, I'm nervous about it but I am ready, I swear."

"Mer, if you're not, it's ok. We can just cuddle on the sofa and watch a movie?" Derek offered as he smiled uneasily.

"Don't you want to, Derek, have you changed your mind?" Meredith asked as she bit her lower lip.

"Of course, I do Mer," Derek said gently brushing his lips over hers. "But I don't mind waiting. I would wait forever for you, I love you," he whispered as their mouths reconnected.

"I love you too," Meredith said as she pulled back from the kiss, "And I am ready more than anything to take our relationship to the next level. You have been so patient, Der, and I am ready to give you my virginity."

"And I want to give you mine, I am just a little nervous and I don't want you to feel pressured," he said tightening his arms around her waist.

"Are you serious? You have never pressured me, you have been very patient with me, too patient even. I really do want this, Derek."

"And I want it too."

"Did you um… You know bring the…" Meredith began asking nervously, biting her lower lip at the same time.

"The condoms?" Derek finished for her and continued once she nodded her head. "Yes, I bought them, you're going to laugh as well, because I got us ones which glow in dark... I thought that they might help us relax a little."

Meredith giggled as she tightened her arms back around his neck and brought her mouth back to his, "I really do love you, Der."

"I really, really love you too," Derek moaned into Meredith's mouth as he felt her tongue enter and begin to mesh with his. He felt his erection forming just as it had always done for the last year whenever her body was against his. He really needed her, they had waited so long for this and he just hoped that he was able to last and didn't come as soon as he entered her. He had been practicing with his hand but he was not an idiot and knew that she would be extremely tight, much more so than his own hand. "Mer…?" Derek moaned.

"Y- yeah?" Meredith panted out.

"W- where?"

"M- my room," Meredith said as she unhooked her arms from around his neck and reached down between them to take his hands.

Let me know if you are enjoying this story and would like me to continue to post it.

Please let me know your thoughts... leave a review.

Jen xxx


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for the reviews from the previous chapter. The below updat**e **is slightly MATURE so please read with caution...**

Chapter 4

Their lips remained locked, their hands intertwined, as they entered Meredith's bedroom; this time it was Derek's turn to kick the door closed. They broke apart gasping for air, there gazes remaining deeply connected.

"So, your p- parents," Derek stuttered in a nervous tone. "They are gonna be out all evening?"

"Yes, they even used the words "extremely late" referring to the time they would be home."

"Good," Derek nervously as his hands left Meredith's and hooked themselves around her waist bringing her tighter against him once again.

"Oh, yes it is," she mumbled as Derek's mouth caught hers, his tongue sliding sensually against hers.

Meredith walked them backwards towards the bed, her hands cupping Derek's elbows as she fell down onto the bed, bringing him down on top of her. Their mouths never once lost contact; Meredith felt like she was having an out of body experience. The feelings which she was experiencing seemed so surreal. They had made out like this tons of times before but never before had she experienced her body feeling as if it was on fire, she had a throbbing feeling between her legs which had never felt as intense as it did now. "Derek," she moaned as her hands weaved through his hair angling his head so that her tongue could get deeper access to his mouth as it moved against his. She could feel Derek's hands gently passing up and down her sides; she sighed satisfactorily as one of his hands began to move up under her shirt.

"M- Mer, is this ok?" Derek panted out briefly breaking their lip lock as he sought permission.

"It's more than ok," Meredith said as her fingers left his hair. She brought them to her chest and begun to undo her shirt, she looked at Derek with a puzzled expression as he backed off of her and put his hands on hers, stopping her from going further.

"Can I?" Derek asked nervously, he had seen the naked swell of her breasts before as they peeked out of her shirs and he had explored them under her clothing, but he had never seen them completely exposed in their full glory.

Meredith removed her hands from under his placing them on his shirt as she nervously sought permission with her eyes to undo the buttons.

"Go ahead," he said to her as resumed the task of taking off her shirt, letting it fall open to the sides. "Mer you are so beautiful," Derek said as bent forward kissing her bare shoulders in turn and pushed the shirt off of them. "Mer, sit up for a minute," he asked as he straddled her waist and pulled her up to him by the tops of her arms just as she undid the remaining buttons of his shirt. Derek slowly stroked her arms pulling the material down her arms kissing each one in turn, his mouth following the trail that the sleeves had taken.

Meredith pulled Derek's shirt off of him, she then nervously put her hands behind her back and unclasped her bra allowing her breasts to spill out.

"Relax baby, you are so beautiful," he murmured as he put his mouth to hers gently moving his lips over hers as Meredith moved closer to him letting him bring her into the folds of his arms, her breasts crushing against his naked skin marveling at the contact.

He gasped slightly as Meredith's hands reached down between them and began to unbuckle his belt to unzip his jeans. "Der, I want to see all of you," Meredith moaned into his mouth.

"Me too," he returned taking this as an invitation to move his hands to the front of her skirt, unbuttoning it and pulling down the zipper and then inching to the waist band and pushing it down allowing it to pool at her knees on the bed, his trousers in an identical position. He let go of Meredith and got off the bed to kick his pants off; he took in a deep breath as he pulled his boxers down his legs also immediately freeing his raging erection.

Meredith couldn't help but let out a gasp as a brief moment of panic went through her when she caught sight of Derek's cock, it was huge... She had watched a few porn movies with Sadie and Amelia, who was Derek's younger sister and was the same age as her and Sadie. She had often heard them imitate the sizes of cocks which they had had, however the cocks she had seen and heard about appeared tiny compared to Derek.

"Mer," he murmured as he reached out his hands to her. She took them and walked on her knees towards the edge of the bed. She swung her legs around and got off, Derek immediately pulled her into him so that their naked chests clashed against each other, her skirt falling to the floor. "Baby, relax," he whispered as he kissed her earlobe and began to trail his mouth down her neck, gently sucking on her skin causing her to moan loudly as his hands slid to her panties. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband, "Mer, is this ok? I want to see you." He desperately wanted her, more so than any other time when they had been fooling around but he didn't want to push her.

"Der, I want this," Meredith heavily breathed out as her fingers joined Derek's and she helped him to take her panties down. She was nervous, even more so now that she had seen all of Derek, but she wanted her first time to be with him and she wanted it to be now.

"Mer, you are s- so beautiful," he panted out, his entire body heating up at the sight of Meredith standing in front of him completely naked. He put his arms tightly around her waist bringing every inch of their bodies together, his erection poking into her stomach. As their mouths connected deeply he walked them backwards. As the backs of Meredith's legs hit the bed Derek pulled back from her slightly and gently pushed her down, proceeding to join, her covering her body with his. Their mouths connected once again in a heated frenzy while their hands roamed over each other's bodies. "M- Mer?" he panted heavily, "Are you sure? I really don't want to hurt you," he stated nervously.

She looked him straight in the eye, this was one of the things that she loved about him. She could feel his obvious desire for her, yet as usual he was putting her needs before his own.

"Derek, will you shut up and make love to me? I love you and I am ready. I have heard that it hurts but it's one of those things that need to happen. I know that you will be gentle, please I want you…" she said as she softly brought her mouth to his.

"I love you too, so much, thank you…" Derek mumbled out between kisses as he moved in between her legs, his cock brushing against her wet folds.

"D- Der wait…" she said as she put her hands to his hips to prevent him from entering her.

"What? What is it, Mer if you have changed your mind it's ok…" Derek began saying, doing his hardest to mask his frustration, he was currently experiencing the largest hard on in his life.

"No, no it's not that… condom, we need a condom."

"Ah yes, I am so sorry," he mutteredas he got off of her, frantically running his fingers through his hair, desperately trying to remember where he put the condoms. He was finding it hard to think when all his blood was filling his other head.

"Der, please hurry up," Meredith sighed.

"I'm trying, where did I put them?" he asked, searching around her room.

Meredith couldn't help but giggle at his impatience. "Der, they are in your pocket," she stated.

He hastily grabbed the strip of 3 condoms from the pocket of his jeans and made his way back to join her on the bed. He laid beside her and detached a condom placing the other two on the bedside table.

Meredith watched him begin to tear the top off of the foil pouch but she placed her hand on his, "Derek, can I do it?" she asked as nervously biting her bottom lip.

"Of course," he answered handing her the condom, he was growing even more excited at the thought of her hands on him, "You know how? Or should we um… should we read the instructions?"

"Der, I may be a virgin but I did sex ed, surely you did too?" Meredith asked giggling.

"I did but it was a long time ago and I don't want to make any mistakes with it."

"I love you," she whispered as she leaned over him to kiss him, she sat up beside him, pushing him on his back as she straddled his legs whilst opening the foil wrapper all the way. She took the condom out and giggled when she saw it's florescent color, "I thought you were joking… I don't think it's dark enough in here. Shall I switch off the light?"

"No, I want to see you," he said reaching his hand to her face.

"I want to see all of you too," Meredith nodded taking the condom in one hand and with the other she pinched the tip to make sure that there was no air inside it and bought it to the tip of his cock. She used both hands to roll it onto him.

Derek couldn't help but take in a sharp intake of breath as soon as he felt her hands on him. He felt the same electricity flow through him as he always did when her hands were on any part of his body, but the act that she had carried out made it so much more intense. He put his hand to her face, slowly bringing it down to her neck and onto to her bare shoulder where he began to caress it. "Your really sure?" he asked once again as his eyes locked with hers.

Meredith looked at him and shook her head, "Derek, you ask me that one more time and I really will kick your ass!" Meredith said bringing her mouth forcibly down onto his, stretching her body out on top of him at the same time.

He plunged his tongue deeply into her mouth as soon as her lips made contact with his, causing her to moan. His hands roamed over her body desperately caressing every part of her upper torso and groping her ass. He suddenly flipped them over to so that Meredith's body was now pinned under his.

Meredith instantly moved her legs up around Derek's waist, she could feel his cock nudging at her center and she braced herself for the pain she was expecting to feel.

Derek could feel Meredith's body begin to tense. He broke their current lip lock and looked into her eyes. "Baby relax, I have heard it makes it easier," Derek said placing a brief kiss to her lips again before pulling back so that he could see her eyes as he entered her. As soon as he started to push his way in, he was met with a slight resistance. She was so tight, he was praying to God at this moment that he did not embarrass himself. Mark had been constantly winding him up that he was going to tank on his first time. He knew he just had to take it slow and be gentle, he would never forgive himself if he hurt Meredith any more then he had to.

"Are you ok?" he asked as he continued to ease himself inside, the head of his cock was in but he still had so much further to go.

"Der, I am ok," Meredith breathed out. So far it wasn't that bad. _Ouch ouch _she suddenly thought to herself as Derek pushed into her a little further.

So far he had been able to move into her experiencing only a little resistance now he could feel a bit of a barrier as he continued trying to gently push his way in, her hymen, he presumed. "Mer?" Derek inquired, silently asking the rest of the question with his eyes. He could see the look of discomfort on her face and felt like an ass for the simple fact that she was not enjoying it as much as he was.

"It's ok, Derek, do it fast… please," she pleaded with him as she tightened her hold around him, causing him to completely enter her and immediately felt a burning sensation to pass through her down below. She bit hard at her bottom lip to try to stifle the pain and hold back the tears which were threatening to escape.

"Mer," Derek gasped out as he entered her fully, the sensation was beyond anything he had ever experienced before or expected. He only basked in the feeling of his own satisfaction for a few more seconds because one look at Meredith told him that she was in a lot of pain. He began to move to pull out of her…

"No, Der… Don't, please, just keep moving slowly," she asked as she tightened her legs further around his waist preventing him from withdrawing.

"I love you," he declared as he kissed away her tears while continuing to move in and out slowly.

"I love you too, Derek Maloney… You are my knight in shining whatever," Meredith murmured as she began to relax and enjoy the sensations she was feeling of having Derek moving inside of her body.

**Your thoughts please...**

**Jen  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**One year later**

Meredith was sitting in class watching the clock as the minutes ticked past. She had been like that since the school day had begun, ever since she had realized in the morning what the date was. It was the 17th and she always got her period on the 10th. She had called Derek right away to let him know and he said he would meet her outside the gates when the school day was out.

Five minutes, there was five minutes left to go, then they were going to head to the supermarket to pick up a pregnancy test. She took a deep breath at the thought and said a silent prayer hoping that it was just the stress from her exams that was making her late. Her and Derek had been having sex now for one year, a lot of sex, and had become very good at it since their first time together. They were always really careful, however, they had recently had an accident with a split condom.

Amelia suddenly appeared at Meredith's desk taking her out of her thoughts and causing her to jump.

"Hey girl, what has you so deep in thoughts that you didn't even hear the bell? Actually, don't tell me, it probably has something to do with my brother."

Meredith gave her a weak smile as she rose from her chair and packed up her stuff.

"Hey, you ok?" Amelia asked.

"I'm fine."

"Oh no… What did he do?"

"Nothing, Amy, I'm ok."

"You only have that look on your face when you're pissed at that idiot brother of mine."

"Amy, honestly it's not that. Derek and I are good, perfect in fact…"

"Ok, you don't need to go much further, you have convinced me that you two are ok. But something is going on, isn't it?"

"Maybe… Look, Amy, Derek is waiting for me, I really need to go."

"Ok, but remember you have me too. I am still your BFF, even if I don't approve of your choice in boys," Amelia said laughing.

"I know, thanks, Amy," Meredith replied with a slight giggle as she leaned in to hug her friend. "I promise I will fill you in later."

...************************************************************************

Derek anxiously paced at the gates as he waited for Meredith. He had been in the same state pretty much all day since he had received her phone call. He had not been able to concentrate the whole day and had skipped his last lecture not seeing the point in staying. The last thing he felt like was getting into a political debate. He was studying politics in college, hoping to follow in his father's footsteps. He usually loved the debates, but not today, he was praying that Meredith was ok and that he was not about to become a dad. Although, if it were to happen, he knew that they would be ok. He would do everything to support her. He would drop out of college and get a job to ensure that Meredith and the baby had everything, he wanted to be able to support the family so that she would be able to continue with her studies.

He suddenly became aware of her in the close vicinity and turned around, his eyes clashing with her nervous ones. He couldn't help but allow a huge smile to grace his face, which Meredith immediately reciprocated. He closed the distance between them, his hands automatically searching out her waist, coming to rest on her hips as he kissed her. "Hey…" he said as he pulled back, one of his hands immediately cupping her face and his thumb brushed over her cheekbone.

"Hey…" Meredith returned as she nervously chewed on her lower lip, one hand playing with the bracelet on her wrist which Derek had given her for her 16th birthday.

"You ok?" Derek asked, the concern evident in his voice.

"Silly question, Derek," Meredith replied as tears pooled in her eyes.

"Hey…" Derek said as he pulled Meredith to him with one hand, his other hand immediately going to the back of her head and smoothing over her hair. He relaxed when he felt Meredith's arms wrap around his waist. "It's going to be ok…" he said, kissing the top of her head.

"You don't know that," Meredith whispered as she pulled back and looked into his eyes suddenly looking like she was a lot more in control of her emotions. Derek always managed to calm her, he was her strength.

"Yes, I do," Derek said in a determined voice, "Because no matter what happens, we will get through this, I am with you and I am not going any where, I promise… I love you."

"I love you too," Meredith said as she gave Derek a smile and stood on her tip toes to brush her lips over his/ "Thank you," she pulling back.

"For what?" Derek asked.

"You know…" she said and placed another kiss against his mouth. "Come on, I guess we had better go and get the thing… God I hope nobody we recognize is at the store."

"There won't be, because we are not going…"

"But Derek…" she started in a confused tone.

"Ssh…" he hushed her placing his index finger on her lips, "We are not going because there is no need, I already went."

"Y- you did?" she stuttered out in surprise.

"I skipped the last lecture…"

"Derek…"

"Honestly, Meredith, it's fine. I am at the top of that class and this is way more important, you are the most important thing in my life. I wanted to make this as easy as possible for you."

"Thank you, you really are my knight in shining whatever," she said as she moved her arms to throw them around his neck and brought her mouth to his once again.

...***************************************************************************************

"What time are you parents due home?" Derek asked as he nervously paced Meredith's bedroom waiting for her to come out of her ensuite bathroom.

"Dad will be home in a few hours, Mom… who knows?" she said as she opened the bathroom door.

"All done?" he asked as he walked over to join her in the bathroom, they had decided that they would look together.

"Yep, all four sticks, can't believe you brought two packs."

"Well, I thought it was best, we want to be sure," he replied moving to stand behind her, his hands linking around her waist, as he rested his chin on her shoulder. Meredith put her head back to lean against him and they both stood watching the counter where the pregnancy tests rested.

"How long?" Derek asked

"Hmmm… 3 minutes, should be up soon," Meredith said sucking in a deep breath.

"I mean it," he said as he tightened his grip around her waist, "Everything is going to be ok."

"Something's happening," she noticed the sticks starting to change.

They both looked closer and gasps erupted from both of them which was quickly followed by the sound of Meredith's sobbing whilst she tried to break from Derek's embrace.

He tightened his grip on her and turned her around in his arms, "Meredith, look at me," he waited for her to listen to him, his heart instantly hurting when his eyes connected with hers. He could feel every ounce of emotion that was running through her as if it was his own.

"D- Der, I- I am so s- sorry," she sputtered out in between sobs.

"What have you got to be sorry about? This isn't your fault…"

"I- I c- could have pre- prevented i- it."

"We tried to, the condom broke, nobody is to blame… Well apart from the condom manufacturer… If only we stuck to the glow in the dark ones…" relief instantly flooded him as Meredith let out a small giggle. "That's better…" he began as he kissed Meredith's temple.

"Der, y- you're making light…"

"I hate it when you cry, it breaks my heart and I don't want you blaming yourself, there was nothing you could have done to prevent this…"

"Tha- that's not exactly true though, is it? You… You offered to buy me the morn- morning after pill, I- I re- refused."

"To which I was glad about, I know why you didn't want to take it and I fully support your reasons, I didn't want you to take it either."

"You didn't?" she asked around a sniff, her sobs subsiding.

"No," Derek said with a smile.

"But you didn't say anything?"

"Meredith, I want what's best for you, I will support whatever decision you want to make, your happiness is all I care about."

"I love you, Derek…"

"I know and I love you too, so much," he said bringing his mouth to hers and they engaged in a soft gentle kiss, which seemed to immediately relax both of their bodies.

"What are we going to do?" Meredith asked as she pulled back from the kiss.

"What do you want to do?"

"Derek, this is not just about me…"

"I know, but it's your body, Meredith, and I will support whatever decision you make I am not going anywhere, I love you."

"My Mom is going to flip…"

"We don't have to tell her…"

"I won't be able to hide it forever…"

"Wait a sec… you mean…?"

"Yeah," Meredith said as she bit her lip, "Is that ok? You said…"

"It's more then ok," Derek said as he picked Meredith up and spun her around. "I love you," he said as he rained kisses over her face.

"Der," Meredith with a giggle. "You're gonna make me sick."

He immediately put her down, "I'm sorry, are you ok?"

"I'm fine, still in shock, scared… But I am ok."

"I don't want you to be scared about anything, I know it is not going to be easy, we are both still young, but we can do it and I know my mum will help us."

"God…" Meredith groaned. "Your Mom is going to kill me…"

"Correction, my Mom loves you… It is me she is going to kill."

"I will protect you, after all I can't raise this baby alone… Der, what about your Dad?"

"Well, like your Mom he is going to go ballistic, but not with you, with me. I know my Mom and your Dad are also going to be mad but I am sure they will be our allies…"

"Me too… I don't wanna tell them yet though…"

"Whenever you're ready."

"I think we should wait until it is obvious, especially with my Mom," Meredith said as she ignored the uneasy feeling which washed over her. "Nancy will be able to help us, won't she?"

"Yeah, we can rely on her she won't say anything, I almost forgive her for turning her back on politics now."

"Hmmm…" Meredith giggled. "Amelia is gonna flip… You do realize that she will insist that we call the baby after her if it's a girl."

"Oh, I bet she will, I don't mind. And as you already know she is my favorite sister but you know I will never admit that to her."

"She already knows that, Der…"

"It really will be ok, you know…" Derek said as he took bunches of Meredith's hair into his fists and gently tugged her head back and kissed her.

"Der, can we just lie down and cuddle for a bit?"

"Of course," he nodded scooping her up into his arms. She let out a giggle as he carried her to her bed. He was going to be a father and although the thought scared him, he knew his fears were unfounded because as long as they were together they could combat everything. He laid Meredith down on the bed and climbed in next to her, his hands immediately coming to rest with hers on her stomach.

They were content laying there in their own perfect bubble unaware that even the best kept secrets have away of getting out and that the happy bubble which they were in was about to burst and nothing would ever be the same again for either of them.

**Please leave a review**

**Jen x**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

It was a rare morning for Ellis Grey to be home and she was not in a good mood she was pissed as hell. The patient which she was supposed to be operating on this morning had coded during the night and was unable to be resuscitated. Her car had broken down while she was on her way home and was now in the garage, the housekeeper had called sick and to top it all off, it was rubbish collection day.

Thatcher and Meredith had already left for the day so it was now down to her put the rubbish out. She was silently still cursing to herself as she entered Meredith's bathroom; the cursing about the housekeeper immediately stopped as she caught sight of the contents at the bottom of Meredith's bin as she was emptying it.

* * *

><p>It had been a long day at school and as Meredith walked through the front door and kicked off her shoes she thought to herself that she couldn't make it to her bed fast enough. She wanted to get in an hours sleep before she had to meet Derek, he was taking her to the cinema to watch Dirty Dancing, the newest Patrick Swayze movie. Her thoughts of sleep, Derek and Patrick Swayze were suddenly interrupted by her mother calling her to join her in the dining room.<p>

She was surprised that her mother was home, she had not seen her car parked outside. As she walked into the dining room, her eyes at once setting on the objects spread out on the table in front of her mother, she felt as if all of the oxygen had been sucked out of her.

"Maria called sick today, so I had to do the rubbish, put it out for collection, you care to explain what these were doing in your bin?"

"They're not mine…" Meredith began to say instinctively.

"Don't you dare lie to me, he has turned you into not only a whore but a liar too? Are they yours?" Ellis asked in a frighteningly calm tone, she was met with silence from Meredith. "Answer me! God damn it!" Ellis yelled her calm tone long gone.

"Y- yes," was all that Meredith was able to stutter out.

"I can no longer see the result, are you pregnant?" Ellis asked, her tone becoming calm once again.

"Yes," Meredith said again but this time her voice was slightly stronger as she thought of her and Derek's baby growing inside of her.

"When was your last period?" Ellis asked, once again her voice sounding completely calm and rational.

Meredith was taken by surprise by her Mom's tone of voice, she was expecting her to scream and yell at her but she seemed calm… "Um…"

"How many times do I have to tell you, you do not start a sentence with 'Um…' When was your last period?"

"Just over 5 weeks ago," she answered in a scared tone.

"Well thank God for that," Ellis stated as she got up from the table and began to walk over to the kitchen breakfast counter and picked up the phone.

Meredith stood watching her mother as she dialed a number, a feeling of confusion washed through her.

"Yes, Michelle, I would really appreciate that."

She was talking to her friend, Dr. Michelle Adams who was an OB GYN and just as coldhearted and ruthless as her mother was.

The shock and confusion continued to flow through her body, her Mom was helping her and had not flipped out like she thought she would. However, that bewilderment was soon replaced with nausea as she heard the next sentence leave her Mother's mouth.

"Yes, that is perfect, the sooner the termination is performed the better…"

Meredith immediately ran to the trashcan and threw up the contents of her lunch.

"Yes, Michelle, that's her. I had better go, I will bring her in to see you tomorrow. Bye."

"No way," Meredith immediately exclaimed as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand when Ellis put the phone receiver back down.

"You will do exactly as I say!" Ellis yelled, her calm tone gone, as the front door opened and Thatcher came rushing in.

"What on earth is going on?" Thatcher demanded as he took in his daughters crying form in front of him. "Ellis I could hear you shouting from outside."

"Why don't you ask your princess, what is going on!" Ellis said in a snide tone.

"Meredith honey… What is it?" Thatcher asked as he looked over to Meredith his eyes trailing past the table and then back again as he took in the pregnancy tests laying on top of it. "No, please no."

"D- Daddy, I- I' m s- sorry."

"I don't believe this, I am gonna kill him."

"Daddy, no, i- it's not h-his fault," Meredith said as her sobbing got harder and louder.

Thatcher rushed to her side and enveloped her into his arms.

"Oh, please, is that the best you have, Thatcher? You coddle her, no wonder she is in this mess."

"What do you want me to do shout at her? That's not really going to help, Ellis."

"I don't need you to do anything, I have already sorted it, as usual. She is booked in for a termination tomorrow."

"No…" Meredith whimpered, taking herself out of Thatcher's embrace and moving away from him as he silently just stood by watching the scene in front of him. "You can't make me," she argued as the tears streamed down her face.

"I am sorry but that is where you are wrong," Ellis began her tone once again completely calm and devoid of all emotion. "You are sixteen, you are still a minor…"

"I don't care, I will leave…"

Ellis suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. "And do what exactly?"

"Derek will help me…"

"Really? And how is he going to do that from a jail cell?"

"What are you talking about?" Meredith demanded, having gained control of her tears, "I have not got the time for your mind games Derek is waiting for me."

"You are not leaving this house and this will take as long as I damn well want!" Ellis hissed.

"I hate you," Meredith spat out. "And there is no way I am killing my baby!"

"Please, you are nothing but a baby yourself, get your head out of the clouds and stop living in fairy tale land. You want to be an uneducated single Mom, barely able to feed yourself let alone being able to pay your rent? Because that is what you will amount to."

"I already told you, Derek will look after me, that will not happen."

"And I already asked, how do you expect him to do that from a jail cell? Because Meredith I swear to you that if you do not attend that appointment tomorrow, I will have Derek Maloney thrown so fast into jail that you will not even have the time to say his name."

"You can't do that…"

"You want to bet Meredith? Derek is 18 years old, he is an adult who has been having sexual intercourse with a minor, which is a criminal offense."

"You wouldn't…" Meredith said, her voice full of panic, "Daddy?" Meredith said as she looked to Thatcher for help.

Thatcher looked to Ellis and her eyes bored into his, challenging him to dare to go against her. "Meredith, she is right…" Thatcher mumbled out avoiding eye contact with Meredith and a satisfied smirk briefly graced Ellis's face.

"No, I won't let you!" Meredith exclaimed as the sobs once again wracked through her body.

"You have a choice to make, you will either have the termination and cut all ties with that boy and I will forget about the charges or you don't have the termination and Derek goes to jail for statutory rape. Think long and hard, Meredith, it is not just your life which will be ruined but his too. Do you think that he will be able to have any sort of career after spending years in jail and with having a criminal record which will follow him around for the rest of his life?"

Meredith didn't answer Ellis and ran out of the room to her bedroom, her hand clutching her stomach the whole time as her sobs shook her entire body and she felt like her world was starting to collapse around her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Derek looked again at his watch, Meredith was now 30 minutes late, he was beginning to get extremely worried about her. He had had to stay late at college and so they had agreed to meet outside the cinema as he would not have had the time to collect her and for them to get back in time for the start of the film. He was just about to head to his car when his father's car pulled up in front of him.

The electric window went down. "Get in the back," his father said in an angry tone, his mother was sat in the front and looked straight ahead not once making eye contact with him or acknowledging him.

"What is going on?" Derek asked in a confused tone, "Oh my God, is Meredith ok? We were supposed to meet, she never showed," he stated in a panicked voice.

"We are going to her house now. How could you be so stupid!" his father demanded. And then it hit him, their parents had found out about Meredith's pregnancy.

* * *

><p>As soon as they entered the Grey's house Derek's eyes immediately sought out Meredith's and his heart clenched; he had never seen her looking so broken and scared before, her eyes were completely red. He tried to go to her but Ellis stood in his path blocking him from reaching her.<p>

"I do not want you anywhere near my daughter again, do you understand me?" she said in a short tone.

"Mom…" Meredith spoke out trying to reason with Ellis.

"Meredith, be quiet we have already gone through this. Michael, we discussed this on the phone," Ellis said as she looked to Derek's father.

"Derek, back off," Michael ordered to Derek in a warning tone.

Derek did as he was told but his eyes remained on Meredith.

Meredith took in a deep breath to hold in the tears which were once again threatening to spill, her eyes once again locking with Derek's, pleading with him to do something, to make them see reason.

"You can't do this, Dr. Grey, I love Meredith and she is having my baby, there is no way that I am abandoning her."

"How very noble of you," Ellis said as she clapped her hands, "That was quite some speech, but there is no need for you to stick around because there is not going to be a baby, Meredith is having a termination."

"W- what?" Derek questioned in a shocked tone and looked to Meredith for answers.

Meredith could see the hurt in his eyes and the tears which she had been fighting so hard to hold back spilled freely, her focus remained on him and she was praying that he would be able to see that it was not what she wanted but that she simply did not have a choice.

"Meredith, is this what you want? If you don't, she can't make you. Remember, I want what you want and I am not going anywhere," Derek pleaded frantically trying not to allow the dam behind his eyes to burst.

"Derek…" Carolyn said in a comforting tone, she had already been made well aware of Ellis's threats even if Derek had not yet. It pained her to see her baby boy and the girl whom she considered to be her daughter hurting so badly but there was nothing she could do. Ellis Grey held all the cards and her husband had already demanded that they were to support Ellis.

"No, Ma, they can't make her, it's wrong…" Derek demanded.

"No, what is wrong here, Derek, is you taking advantage of a minor!" Ellis said interrupting him.

"W- what, I never… Meredith?" There was no way that he had taken advantage of, he had never pushed any further then she wanted to go and the fact that Ellis was saying otherwise was ridiculous.

Meredith started sobbing louder., "S- she wo- won't listen," she choked out around a sob. Meredith hated this, she hated the fact that her mother was hurting Derek, the person she loved more then anything in the world. She had to obey her mother even though it would completely destroy her, it was the only way to prevent Derek's life from being ruined by her mother.

"Meredith and I, we love each other Dr. Grey, you know that I respect her, I would never…" Derek tried to finish but Ellis interrupted.

"Let's get two things straight here, my daughter is just a baby herself and is too young to understand what true love is. Secondly if you respected her then she would not be 16 years old and pregnant."

"Dr. Grey, we didn't plan it to happen. I was careful."

"Obviously not careful enough, I should have stepped in a long time ago but you come from a decent family and I trusted you. You should thank your father, he is one of the reasons you are currently not sitting in jail."

"I don't understand?" Derek questioned in a confused tone once again, the whole situation was confusing.

"Let me spell it out for you, you are an adult Derek, and you have had sexual intercourse with a minor. I have ordered my daughter to have a termination and demanded that she sever all ties with you, I do not want you anywhere near her. You ever see her walking in your direction, you walk the other way."

"No, Dr. Grey, please," Derek begged as the tears slowly began to fall from his eyes and Meredith sobbed louder as the enormity of the situation was starting to sink in.

"If Meredith disobeys her father and I then I will have you prosecuted for statutory rape and you will spend a long time in jail," Ellis threatened Derek.

"Y- you can't d- do this," he said in a shocked tone.

"Oh, believe me I can and I will, this isn't just a threat, it is a promise."

"B- but I- I n- never r- raped h- her, I wo- wouldn't," he choked out as he looked to Carolyn for help, the tears now freely cascading down his face. "Ma, p- please."

Carolyn went to Derek's side and put her arms around him and looked into Meredith's eyes trying to offer the scared teenager who was being closely guarded by Ellis, some comfort. "I know son, but we don't have a choice," Carolyn said to Derek as she tried to soothe him. She could feel her husband's gaze on her and knew she had to tow the line.

"Y- yes, we do," he stated as he broke apart from Carolyn, bringing his emotions swiftly under control. "Meredith, we don't have to listen to them, I don't care about me. You are all I care about, you and our baby."

"Derek, I don't want y- you to go t- to jail," Meredith pleaded with him. "I don't want to ruin your life."

"Come on son listen to her," interrupted Michael. "She knows what she is talking about."

"No, you stay out of this, you are only concerned about yourself and what it will mean for your career if I go to jail!" Derek shouted at his father, "Meredith…" he said as he once again faced her, "I love you and I don't care, they can't send me to jail for forever, we can fight this it was consensual and your not that much younger then me."

"Derek, I want us to more then anything but this is too big, I don't want to kill our baby but we don't have a choice, you are not going to jail and it's not just about us. What about Amy and the rest of your family?" Meredith had to get him to see reason; as much as she wanted to keep the life that was growing inside of her, she had to protect the one that was standing in front of her even more.

"It has nothing to do with them, Mer," Derek said in attempt to convince her.

"You're wrong, your father is a famous congressman. If you go to jail, the paparazzi will hound them, you know this. I love you and I won't allow you to throw away your and your family's lives for me."

"Oh God," Derek cried out as he fell to his knees crying, Ellis moved out of Meredith's way and allowed her to briefly go to Derek, feeling satisfied that things had gone her way.

Meredith went to her knees on the floor and embraced him, she felt Derek's arms wrap around her and they cried on each other's shoulders. Just for a second she felt safe. However, the feeling did not last long, she soon heard her mom clearing her throat behind them indicating that their time was up. They both reluctantly pulled back from each other, their hands remaining interlocked.

"Ellis, please," Carolyn interrupted trying to buy Derek and Meredith more time. "They are destroyed, we are already taking so much from them, can we not just give them a few minutes alone."

"Are you crazy?" Ellis demanded.

"Ellis, come on…" Thatcher stepped in trying to help.

"No way, your son is lucky, Carolyn, that I allowed him near her again. Meredith, get up now," she demanded as she stepped towards Meredith and put her hand on her shoulder.

"Mom, please…" Meredith begged.

"Derek, get your hands off of her now."

"Dr. Grey…" Derek began.

Ellis immediately interrupted not allowing him to speak, "Congressman Maloney, I am giving you to the count of 5 to get your son away from my daughter and out of my house."

"Derek, say goodbye now," Michael ordered.

Derek looked back at his father and then to Ellis as he nodded before looking back to Meredith, just as Ellis took a step back.

"I l- love you, I always will and we will get through this I promise," Derek said the tears still running down his face, mirroring Meredith's, he put his hands to her face trying to wipe away her tears but he could not keep up with the flow. "None of this is your fault, I don't blame you, I know it is not what you want and I would give anything to be there with you when…" Derek suddenly looked away from Meredith and up to Ellis. "Dr. Grey please…"

"No, no way that would just make things even harder, it's better for Meredith if you have a clean break, now your 5 seconds are up."

"Derek, come on," Michael said as he walked over to Derek and bent over tugging at his arm to get him to stand up.

Derek reluctantly let go of Meredith and began to stand up, "Remember, I love you and even though I am not there in person I am with you…"

Meredith looked at Derek. "I l- love yo- you t- too," was all she managed to get out before she crumpled to floor and sobbed; Thatcher immediately went to her. Derek tried to but was held back by Michael.

"Come on," Michael said as he tugged on Derek's arm and pulled him towards the front door, Carolyn following behind. Derek's tears began falling once more as he glanced back at Meredith's crumpled form on the floor. Their lives now shattered, and Derek wondered if things would ever be the same again. Just a mere 24 hours ago they had dreams, a future together, they were happy, and now it had all been cruelly snatched away from them.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Thatcher stood outside Meredith's bedroom and all he could hear was silence. It had been two weeks now since her termination and they had not been able to get her out of the guest room which Ellis had made her move into. Ellis had just left to go to the hospital to finalize some transfer paper work before their evening flight to Boston. Thatcher took a deep breath before opening the door. "Meredith?" he said as he looked at his daughter curled up on the bed in a fetal position, his heart clenched.

"Please, just leave me alone, I am not hungry."

"I know, honey, I am sorry…"

"Sorry? What are you sorry for?" Meredith angrily demanded as she sat up and faced her father, her eyes completely blood shot from all the crying she had done. "Standing back and saying nothing while mom threatened to throw the person I love more than anything in the world in jail, allowing her to force me to kill our baby, allowing her to keep Derek and I apart, or are you sorry for allowing her to keep me as a prisoner or don't tell me that you are sorry for allowing her to move us to frigging Boston?"

"Meredith, I know that you are angry…"

"Angry? Angry? I am more than angry…"

"We don't have much time," Thatcher said interrupting her.

"Much time? What are you talking about?"

"Your mom has gone to the hospital, she is going to be gone for a few hours and I have just spoke with Carolyn, Derek's home… I thought…"

"Oh my God, you are going to let me go to see him?"

"You have an hour maximum, now go."

"Thank you., Meredith simply said as she stood from the bed, a brief smile appeared on her face as she rushed past Thatcher to her bathroom to throw some clothes on.

* * *

><p>Meredith stood on Derek's front porch and rang the bell. The door was immediately answered by Carolyn, who instantly pulled Meredith into a hug.<p>

Meredith froze in Carolyn's arms, every part of her body tensed up and she pulled out of her embrace. "Where is he?" she asked, her only concern was to see Derek.

"Honey, I am so sorry…"

"I think it's a little too late for that and I am sorry but I am not interested in hearing your apologies, or those from my father. Please I just want to see Derek, I don't have much time,"

Meredith said as she lashed out, her tone of voice completely cold, her eyes full of anger.

"He is in his bedroom, I didn't tell him you were coming… Just in case…" Carolyn began to say in an understanding tone which started to fall on deaf ears as she watched the girl whom she loved like a daughter walk away from her and go up the stairs looking like she was utterly destroyed.

Derek laid on his bed looking at the ceiling, the last two weeks had been hell, and he had not spoken to Meredith since the night he was practically dragged out of her house by his father. He had no idea how she was, as far as he could tell she had not left her house in the past two weeks other than the day that Ellis took her to the hospital. She had not been staying in her room as their bedrooms looked onto each other and he had spent hours every day at different times throughout, desperately trying to get a glimpse but there had been nothing. Amy and Sadie had not heard anything from her and Sadie had even said that Dr. Grey had told her not to contact Meredith anymore. He was at a loss… The gentle tapping at his door suddenly brought him out of his thoughts.

"Look, just leave me alone," Derek shouted out in a short tone.

Meredith was outside the door and took a deep breath before responding to Derek. "Derek, it's me."

Within seconds the door in front of her was swung open and their eyes clashed right before they instantly found each other's arms.

"Oh my God Mer," Derek whispered as he pulled her tightly into his chest and kissed the top of her head. "I have been so worried about you, baby, are ok?" he asked as he pulled back slightly from her; as soon as their eyes met neither one could prevent the tears which began to spill out.

"Der- Derek, it was aw- awful," Meredith sobbed out. "And my m- mom, she moved me t- to the g- guest room, s- she removed the p- phone and ch- changed the password on the com- computer."

"I- I am so so- sorry you had to g- go through that," he said bringing her back against his chest as he kissed her head again. "I love you so much."

"I lo- love you too. Derek?" she said quietly as she pulled back while trying to get her tears under control. "W- we don't have much ti- time."

"I take it your mom doesn't know you are here?" he asked as she pulled out of his arms completely and walked towards the window.

"No, my dad does though, he let me come... We have an hour Derek, my mother is at the hospital finalizing her transfer paperwork…"

"Transfer paperwork?" he paused as fear coursed through his body.

"They are moving me away, my mother got a transfer to Boston, we leave this evening…"

"What? No… God, I hate her! What are we going to do, Mer?"

"I hate her too, Derek, trust me… But we don't have a choice, I came… I came to say good bye," Meredith said as the tears began to build once again in her eyes.

"Mer," he pleaded in a desperate voice as he walked towards her and took both of her hands in his. "They may be moving you away but this doesn't have to be the end, they can't keep us apart…" He said shaking his head.

"Derek, this isn't fair to you, you deserve…"

"I deserve you," he interrupted her. "I love you and we only have a year and a half until your 18th birthday and then we can be together properly, I have been saving forever. I will pay for your flight back here and we can get a place together…"

"Oh Derek… God you don't know how much I want that…" Meredith declared as the tears began to fall from her eyes, "But we ca- can't, it's not gonna work."

"What do you mean?" he asked as he let go of her hands and gripped her shoulders, he was determined to get her to agree.

"My mom would never allow it…" she shook her head.

"Meredith, she wouldn't be able to do anything about it, in a eighteen months' time you are no longer going to be classed as a minor. The law will be on our side…"

"No Derek…" she stopped him. "You're wrong, it's still on her side and she has made sure that I know it, which is why…"

"Meredith, what are you talking about?"

"The statute of limitations, Derek…" she began and immediately saw the hope that had been in Derek's eyes instantly disappear.

He knew exactly what Meredith was going to say next and he felt like the ground had been pulled out from beneath him once again, as he finished her sentence for her. "She can still have me prosecuted anytime in the next five years."

"Yes, and she has already promised to do so if she finds out that I have been in touch with you."

"This can't be happening!" he fumed in frustration as he walked away from Meredith and frantically run his fingers through his hair, desperately trying to come up with a new plan. "I will wait Meredith, I will wait five years, God I would wait a lifetime…"

"I know you would," she said gently, taking a step towards him, putting her hand to his face as she wiped away a stray tear that had fallen. "But I am not going to let you do that, because I love you too much. My mom has hurt you way too much already and I am not going to allow her to continue to do it any longer, I am letting you go, Derek," she declared as the tears began to cascade down her cheeks, mirroring Derek's which were now flowing with the same speed.

"Mer, p- please…" he attempted to plead with her but was silenced by Meredith as she put her fingers to his lips.

"Ssh…" she said as he kissed her fingers. They gazed into each other's eyes and the next thing they knew was that their mouths fused together. Their saliva mixed with their salty tears as their mouths remained joined and their tongues frantically swept over one another both knowing that this would be the last time.

Meredith put her hands on Derek's elbows as his hands gripped her waist and she pulled him with her walking them backwards towards his bed. Their lips briefly broke apart as they looked into one another's eyes which were both equally glistening with heavy tears; no words were needed as they silently removed each other's clothing.

Derek gently pushed Meredith's naked body back onto the bed, his own naked form immediately joining hers as their mouths reconnected. His hand blindly reached into his bedside cabinet to get a condom. He knew somewhere in the back of his mind as Meredith rolled the condom onto him that this was probably the last thing they should be doing but Meredith needed him and he needed her. It was not about the sex, it was about the love that they shared for each other which had been torn apart through no fault of their own. Meredith's mother had taken everything they shared together, everything they had held sacred, and instead she had tried to turn it into something dirty. Being here with Meredith now as he felt himself slip into her, was a reminder to him that there was nothing dirty about what they had together and no matter what Ellis did, she would never be able to take away what they had shared together.

"I love you so much, Meredith," he said around the tears which were running down his face as he felt his climax begin to rock though his body.

"I love you too, I will love you forever," she breathed out heavily through her tears which mirrored Derek's, as she brought his mouth to hers, and they rode out the highs of their orgasm together for the last time, with every part of their bodies connected.

As they laid in each other's arms clinging onto one another as the time they had left together ticked by, they both knew that Ellis may have destroyed a big part of them and may have physically come between them but emotionally she never would be able too. She would never destroy the love that they had for one another, the depth of their love was ingrained into their souls and would never waver.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9  
><strong>

**Back to the present**

Meredith sat in a chair close to Amelia's bed and watched her sleep, it was just after midnight. She knew that she should be sleeping herself and there was even a perfectly made up cot for her, which looked far more comfortable then the chair that she was currently stuck in. Meredith knew, however, that to try to sleep would just be a waste of time. It had been over four hours since Derek, [I]_her Derek_,[/I] she thought to herself as that was what he would always be to her, had waltzed into Amelia's room.

To say that she was shocked to see him was an understatement and to say that the atmosphere was not awkward once the introductions were made would be a lie. Matt knew about Derek, well knew of him, she had shared part of her past about Derek with Matt a year after they met when they first began dating, not everything, but a little. He knew that Derek was her high school sweet heart and that she had been left heartbroken and emotionally destroyed when things had ended. Her husband didn't know the full extent of their break-up, he just thought it was due to the fact that her mother's career had taken her away. He also believed that to be the reason why she hated her parents with passion and why she had never allowed them to play any part in Amelia's life.

Matt hadn't asked any questions about Derek after he had departed, for which she was grateful. She knew he had them and that they would come but now she had a little more time to get prepared. Having that type of discussion when their five year old daughter was in the room with them was hardly the most appropriate time and for once she was grateful that she couldn't leave Amelia's side.

Matt had left the hospital to go to the hotel just under two hours ago and Meredith's brain and adrenalin had been working overtime ever since. Well, that was a lie really, they had been going into overdrive the second that her eyes had met with Derek's; she was just able to control it a little better with her husband in front of her. Her brain was bursting, she had so many questions for him and the unexpected emotions which ran through her were incredible. It had been nineteen years since the last time that she saw him but as soon as they had come face to face and their eyes met, she was transported back into the past and everything she had felt for him came flooding back to her. It was as if no time had elapsed, as if time had stood still.

She couldn't allow herself to dwell on those feelings though, she was now married to somebody else and the product of that marriage, her amazing five-year old daughter was sleeping in front of her, soft snores emitting from her body.

Her attention was suddenly drawn towards the door, she heard a soft tapping noise. As she turned her face in that direction, the soft nightlights of the corridor outside enabled her to see through the window and the face of the man who had been occupying her thoughts since he walked into the room earlier that evening was looking back at her.

She quietly stood up, her back slightly protesting, and made her way over to the door carefully, opening it so that it would cause minimal noise. The last thing she wanted was to wake up Amelia.

"Derek, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at home?" Meredith whispered trying her hardest not to rouse her daughter.

"I went home, but I couldn't sleep… Why aren't you sleeping?" Derek asked her in an as equally quiet tone. Meredith didn't respond so he answered for her, "Don't tell me you couldn't either?"

Meredith smiled back at him answering his questions. There was no need for words, they still had that deep connection where they knew what the other was thinking without having to make a sound. "Derek, we can't talk here, I don't want to wake her up," she said quietly nodding her head in Amelia's direction.

"Let's grab a coffee and go to my office, it is just down the corridor…"

"Derek, I don't…" she began interrupting.

"Mer, she will be fine, I will have an intern sit with her," he assured her, knowing full well what her concerns would have been about going with him to talk. The truth was that leaving Amelia alone was only half of her concerns.

There was now an intern sitting watching over Amelia, a trusted one too, Derek had said as he reassured Meredith that her daughter would be ok. They were approaching his office with coffees in hand even though she would have preferred to have something a little stronger. But then again, that most certainly would not have been a good idea.

"After you," he said as he held open his office door and allowed her to enter first.

"Still a gentleman, I see…"

"I try my best," he said let out a chuckle but she could tell that it was rather forced and that there was a great sadness or even emptiness about him.

"So… How have you been, Derek?"

"Good, life has been good, what can I say?"

"You didn't answer my question properly earlier?"

"I am a doctor, Mer, that's what I am doing here," Derek said once again as he chuckled.

"Still trying to be a smart ass," she smirked at him and then suddenly turned serious. "That is obvious, but you were in politics Der, why the change? And Shepherd? I don't understand…"

"Let's sit down," he gestured to the couch in his office and waited until they were both sat down on opposite ends before continuing. "It was a number of things really, after you left…" he began and Meredith immediately noticed the change in his voice, it became more emotionally charged. "The relationship between my father and I became very strained…"

"I am sorry, Der," she reached across and placed her hand on Derek's and instantly pulled it back, the electricity which coursed through her the second their skin made contact was enough to almost blow her away.

This didn't go unnoticed by him either, he felt the exact same reaction. He decided to ignore it for now and continued on to answer her question. "My father was not the man I thought him to be and he proved that further several years later which I will go onto in a bit. I no longer wanted to follow in his footsteps, he killed politics for me and so I changed course… Medicine, you had a passion for it, and I guess it made me feel closer to you…"

"Oh, Der…" she said as the tears built in her eyes, this time though she refrained from making any bodily contact with him.

"I did it for me obviously too, I actually found that I loved it so much more than politics, and of course, there was the added bonus that it pissed my father off."

"You changed your name, Derek, how did that happen? I almost died of shock when you walked into Amelia's room earlier, I had absolutely no idea."

"I take it you heard about my father's affair ten years ago with his PA?" Derek asked looking at her.

"It was all over the news, it was hard not to hear about it. I am sorry… I couldn't believe he did that to your family."

"I couldn't believe that my mother was stupid enough to take him back… I wanted nothing to do with him, hence the change in name, Shepherd was my mother's maiden name."

"I see," Meredith with a nod. "Der, I hope you don't find it rude of me, but my heart broke for you and your sisters. I couldn't have cared less about your mother and in a way, back then, I was happy that she was suffering."

"Meredith…"

"No ,Derek I am sorry and I know that it is a bitchy thing to say but I couldn't help how I felt. I wanted to call you and Amy so badly but I didn't know what your life was like and felt it was wrong to intrude."

"I wish you would have done," Derek said as he looked into her eyes and moved a little closer to her on the sofa, taking her hand and enjoying the electricity that flowed through his body.

"Had- had you met your husband then?"

Meredith broke eye contact with him and glanced down at their hands that remained joined. "Yes, we were not married then but yes I had met him… We had actually just started dating," she said as she looked back up at him.

"How long have you known him for?" Derek asked.

"I met him about two years after I moved to Seattle for my internship, I guess roughly eleven years ago now. We have been together for ten years now, married for seven," she said as a feeling of guilt rushed over her.

Derek picked up on that at once. "Hey. it's ok," he assured her as he forced her to make eye contact with him. "You were allowed to move on, although it hurt like hell, I always hoped that you would, I wanted you to be happy."

Meredith gave him a weak smile, it was always a mystery to her as to how he knew her so well and how he always knew the right things to say. Although she did not have the right to feel jealous, she took a deep breath to ask the next question, a question which she was not sure that she really wanted the answer to.

"Did you, did you move on, Derek?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_"Did you move on, Derek?"_

"If you mean did I get married, the answer is no. I have still yet to completely settle down. About a year after you left Mark dragged me out to a club got me rat assed and I had a one night stand and from then on I have had a hell of a lot of one night stands…"

"Oh. Derek…" Meredith said squeezing his hand, she couldn't help but feel guilty at the fact that he had never got married, that was always Derek's biggest dream. She also could not help that a part of her was also secretly relieved.

"No. Mer, it's ok. I chose to live like that and recently I have been a little more settled," Derek began and suddenly felt a wave of nervousness wash over him which caused him to take a deep breath before he continued. "I have been dating the same person for a couple of months now, her name is Rose. She is a circulating scrub nurse here at the hospital."

"Derek…" she said in a worried tone.

"She's lovely…"

"Ok, as long as you are happy," she said ignoring the unexpected stab of jealousy that she was suddenly feeling.

"Your daughter is beautiful, extremely smart too, you must be so proud of her," he stated in an attempt to change the subject.

"Thank you… And I am, although sometimes she is too smart for her own good. Matt blames Cristina," Meredith instantly regretted bringing Matt into the conversation as an uncomfortable atmosphere filled the room.

"I say she just takes after her Mother, complete the snoring as well," Derek chuckled trying to break the atmosphere.

"Ha ha geez thanks Derek." Meredith said as she let out a giggle, Derek had always teased her non stop about her snoring.

"She looks so much like you. You know, when I first met her earlier today I felt as if I had seen her before."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it was so odd, but as soon as I saw you I realized why she was so familiar and it made sense. You named her Amelia?" Derek asked his last question in a gentle tone.

"Yeah," she nodded tearing up slightly but then quickly regained her composure. "Amy and I had a deal, remember? We agreed that we would name our first born after each other. How is Amy, where is she now?"

"She is good, she is still here in New York, she is going to go nuts when she finds out you are here," Derek said as Meredith giggled.

"What is she doing? Is she married? Any kids?"

"She is actually a teacher…"

"Amy, a teacher?"

"Yeah, I know, shocking. She is also married and you are going to laugh at this… She actually married Sam Bennett."

"What? No way!" Meredith said in a disbelieving tone around a fit of giggles; Sam had been the dorkiest boy ever and Amelia had hated him with a passion. He had followed her around like a lovesick puppy.

"Honestly… They have been together for fifteen years and they have two children, a boy and a girl," he loved to see her laughing and looking so carefree, it reminded him of the uninhibited teenage girl she once was.

Sitting here laughing with Derek, she felt the most relaxed she had been in a long time. She couldn't remember the last time she had laughed.

"I guess his persistence paid off. I am happy for her, did she keep her end of our deal?"

"Kind of… She named her daughter Elizabeth, she gave her your middle name. I asked her not to give her your first, it was just too painful, I'm sorry."

"That's ok, Der, I didn't choose Amelia just because of the deal Amy and I made. I guess giving her that name made me feel closer to you and to the baby we lost. Remember we discussed that we were going to name our baby that had it been a girl?"

"How could I ever forget?" he sighed looking into Meredith's eyes which were beginning to fill with tears just like his own were. It was amazing that the grief and pain still felt the same as it did nineteen years ago.

"You know I planted a tree down by the lake, at our spot."

"You did?"

"Yes, it's still there today. I can show you if you like before you go back to Seattle?"

"I would like that," Meredith nodded as a tear fell from one of her eyes.

"Then it's a date," Derek said with a weak smile.

"It's a date," she said jokingly, her smile mirroring his.

"You're a wonderful Mom, you would have been a wonderful Mom to our baby as well."

"Thank you… You know I never ever thought of her as a replacement, in fact when I first found out I was pregnant I was horrified," Meredith said as the first of her tears fell, "I never wanted to have another child because I didn't want to replace our baby."

"Oh Meredith…" he said as he put his free hand to her face and brushed away her tears.

Meredith couldn't help but lean into his touch, "An- and now I ca- can't help but f- feel guilty, she is s- sick and i- it's m- my fault."

Meredith was now openly sobbing and Derek instinctively pulled her into his arms and ran a hand over her hair as he kissed the top of her head in an attempt to calm her down. "You mustn't blame yourself… How is it your fault?"

"This i- is God's way of pun- punishing me for t- the term- termination."

Derek pulled back slightly from her and placed both of his hands on either side of her face, forcing her to look at him.

"That is the most stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth, you were forced into that termination. If anyone should get Karma, it should be our parents, they were the adults. And I promise you, I will do everything I can to save your daughter, I will do everything in my power to make sure you don't lose another baby."

"Thank you, Derek," Meredith said as their eyes fixed on one another. Her sobs had now subsided, Derek always had a way of instantly calming her down.

"You're welcome," he replied as he brushed away a bit of her hair from her face, his eyes drifted down to her mouth and then back up to her eyes getting lost in them. Meredith mirrored his actions and the next thing both of them knew was that their mouths were fused together, both of them unsure who had initiated the contact.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Meredith was instantly transported back to the time when she was a teenager and everything felt so raw and desperate. She knew somewhere in the back of her mind that it was wrong but at this moment, she just wanted to forget, forget the fact that she was in a marriage which was rocky, to say the least, and forget the fact that her daughter was seriously ill. Derek made her forget, he did back then, and even now he still had the ability to stop her world and make her feel safe. She moaned deeply as she granted his tongue permission to enter her mouth and duel with it's long lost friend. Even after all this time their tongues molded as one moving in sync together; it was as if they had never been apart and it felt good, too good to stop even if she wanted to, which she didn't.

As soon as Derek felt Meredith's arms around his neck and her fingers begin to comb through his hair just like they always had done, he took that as the permission he needed to wrap his arms tightly around her waist and bring her into his lap. Derek knew in the back of his mind that she was married and that technically, he was in a relationship. This was the last thing that they should be doing, but he didn't want to think about that; the only thing that was going through his head was how right this felt and any thoughts of Meredith's husband and Rose disappeared swiftly from his head.

Bringing her upper torso tight against his chest as she straddled his waist gyrating her hips over him, he couldn't stop the growl that erupted from his throat. He had missed her, he had missed her so much. Over the last almost two decades he had spent countless of nights with different women trying to find that deep connection which was currently coursing between them. Only Meredith was ever about to erupt such strong emotions within him and even now, after nineteen years, she was still able to. He felt connected to her on every level; he needed and wanted her so badly. As her hips moved faster over him, he could feel his cock aching to get out. It was so hard he was sure it was going to burst through the confines of his trousers any minute.

"Mer," he panted as he pulled out of the searing kiss they were engaged in.

"W- What…?" she sputtered out, sounding equally breathless when she attempted to pull him back into a deep lip lock.

"Baby, i- it hurts…" Derek moaned into her mouth. "I need you so badly."

Meredith pulled back from him, breathing heavily, as she looked into his eyes, feeling slightly confused for a second until she saw the shade of dark indigo his eyes had turned. She knew and felt at the same time what the problem was. "Oh… Hello," she giggled as she began moving her hips faster over him, her centre rubbing against his cock. She could have sworn that he was able to feel the wetness seeping through. It seemed to increase in intensity as his mouth gently attacked her neck, causing her to moan out loudly as she arched her body further into him, feeling her pert breast mold into his hard chest. She wanted him desperately, her body felt as if it was on fire.

"Der, I want you now…" she moaned breathlessly.

They spent a second just gazing into each other's eyes, each one silently giving the other the chance to walk away but neither taking it. They just couldn't, the situation was now out of their control. No more words were spoken as they began to frantically rip each other's clothes off, their hands caressing every inch of newly revealed flesh as their clothes fell away. Derek pushed Meredith back onto the couch, his own body immediately following hers. Their hands were wandering all over each other rediscovering one another's bodies, but it was as if time had stood still. They both felt exactly the same and both thought that time had done nothing but enhance the beauty of their bodies.

"Meredith, I need to be inside you," he moaned around her nipple that he currently had in his mouth, while his hands were exploring her wet centre causing her to breathe heavily and moan out loudly.

"P- please, Derek," she begged desperately moving her hips up towards his hard cock, which seemed to have a grown a good few inches over the years from what she could remember. Derek was the only one ever who could take her pain away and allow her to get lost in the moment and she so desperately needed that, she needed him.

He didn't need to be asked twice. He began to enter her, slowly pushing the head of his cock into her tight walls savoring every moment. After all these years, he finally felt as if he was home and as their eyes connected and locked, he slid the whole way into her. He knew that she felt the same. He brought his mouth back down on hers and immediately, their tongues sought out one another. His tongue thrust slowly in and out of her mouth imitating his cock as it moved slowly in and out of her.

From the moment Derek entered her, all of her pain disappeared and her world felt like it had stopped; all that existed was them in this moment. After nineteen years, it still felt exactly the same way, if not better. Derek knew exactly what she wanted and met her every desire without her having to utter a single word. Their connection was just as deep as it was the first time he entered her and it felt good. She could already begin to feel her orgasm building and just as she was about to tell him to go harder, he started to pump his cock faster inside of her filling every inch of her. She trailed her fingernails down his spine bringing her hands to rest on his ass as she squeezed it tightly bringing it up further into her as she moved her legs up higher around his waist at the same time urging him to go deeper into her.

Derek began to pump frantically into her, she was driving him wild as she moved her legs higher and frantically began moving her hips, squeezing his ass at the same and encouraging him to go deeper. He could feel his cock hitting against her cervix pounding it over and over again, as their sweaty bodies slid against each other. He knew it was only a matter of seconds before her orgasm hit, he could feel her walls begin to clamp tightly around him; this only made him ram into her even faster. He was close to his release as well, hearing the loud moans of satisfaction coming from Meredith as her body thrashed about under his and as her walls clamped him like a vice, drove him further over the edge. He thrust hard into her once more time, causing them to scream out each other's names, as he spilled his seed deep inside her, their fluids mixing together.

Derek collapsed over her but quickly maneuvered them so that she was now lying on top of him; his flaccid cock was still resting inside of her warmth. He began trailing soft kisses down her neck and over her shoulders as they lay there basking in the aftermath of their lovemaking. He felt utterly complete and didn't know what this meant but all he knew was that he couldn't and didn't want to let it go. His cock suddenly slipped out of Meredith when she moved and her entire body stiffened as she fought to get out of his arms. "Meredith, talk to me," he demanded as she struggled against him.

"Let me go," she said pushing up off of his chest.

A wave of nausea crept over him as the realization began to sink in. She thought this was a mistake. "Meredith…" he began, watching her gather her clothes frantically.

"Derek, don't…" she warned him pulling her clothes on.

"Meredith…" he said again, this time taking a step towards her. "We have to talk about this."

"No, Derek, we don't. Oh my God! I can't believe that happened!"

"Mer, it happened because it's us, even after nineteen years we are still us," he argued desperately trying to plead with her, he didn't want to lose her.

"That's just the thing, we are not!" she said in a raised voice.

His heart clenched, "Mer…"

"No, Derek, we are not teenagers anymore. We are adults and we just made a huge mistake," she began to pace around Derek's office, she needed to get away from him. She couldn't take the stabbing feeling in her chest, she could see the pain in his eyes. Her actions were hurting him but this was for his own good, even if it was killing her. She had to remain strong, it was clear that Derek was not going to.

He felt as if he had been stabbed in the chest with a knife, he couldn't believe that she was saying this. Yeah, maybe it was wrong, but a mistake? No way. "How can you say that!" he questioned her demandingly as he came to stand in front of her.

"Because it's the truth, I have a husband, Derek."

"Well, it didn't sound like you had a husband when you were screaming out my name," he said in a cocky arrogant tone which he instantly regretted when he felt Meredith's hand connect with his cheek.

"How can you say that to me?" Meredith glared at him.

"You mean how can I cheapen what we just shared?" Derek asked in a hurt tone. "Easy… The same way you just did."

Meredith was fighting to keep the tears at bay, she had to be strong and if there was one trait which was glad that she had inherited from her mother, the one that she developed after her life had been torn apart nineteen years ago, it was the ability to be able to switch her emotions off in an instant. "You are right, it was cheap and it should never have happened."

Derek stood there in complete disbelief, this was not the woman who was in his arms a mere five minutes earlier, the woman he had loved practically his entire life. "What happened to you?" he asked her as he shook his head.

"I grew up Derek…"

"Yeah, and I bet your mother is proud everyday." He reacted quickly grabbing her wrist as she tried to slap him again. "You can try to be as cold to me as you like," he said as he pushed his body against Meredith's, backing her against a filing cabinet. "But I know you and I know this is utter bullshit."

He brought his mouth down to hers and he couldn't help the smile which washed over him as she reciprocated the kiss and moaned into it. "Now tell me that was a mistake," he asked as he pulled back, his eyes peering deep into her soul.

"I- I…" she stuttered out but didn't get to finish as a knock at the door followed by a female voice interrupted her.

"Oh my God, it's Rose," Derek said in a panic, noticing the pain which flashed in Meredith's eyes as he walked away from her and frantically pulled on his clothes.

"Just a second, Rose," he called out and buckled his belt watching as Meredith smoothed over her appearance, then went and sat back on the couch. Derek walked over and opened the door, Rose immediately tried to kiss him but he pulled back. She gave him a confused look but immediately apologized when she saw that he was not alone.

"Oh, I am sorry, I didn't realize you were with someone," Rose said as she eyed Meredith up suspiciously.

"This is Dr. Carlisle," Derek cringed, not just at the formal introduction he had to make but also at the fact that she bore another man's name. "She is the mother of one of my patients."

"Oh ok, please forgive me Dr. Carlisle. I heard from some of the nurses that my gorgeous boyfriend was here and I am on a break so I just had to see him," Rose chirped as she kissed Derek's cheek while rubbing her hands over his abs in an attempt to mark her territory, only letting go to walk over to Meredith to shake her hand.

Meredith would have laughed at her desperate attempt if she could; she may have had the girlfriend title but she didn't have him. As she watched Rose's hands wander over Derek's chest and her lips brush over his cheek, she felt a stab of jealousy course through her at the sight of another woman's hands on him. God help her, she was so screwed, she thought to herself as Rose made her way over towards her. She stood up and held out her hand. "No problem, it's nice to meet you," she said shaking her hand. "Dr. Ma-, Sorry, I meet so many doctors." She almost called Derek by the surname she had known him by. "Dr. Shepherd and I are finished for now," Meredith stressed the word now, which did not go unnoticed by Derek or by his cock.

"I should be getting back to my daughter, I will see you soon Dr. Shepherd," Meredith smirked at him, she knew she was playing a dangerous game but she couldn't help herself.

"G- goodbye, Dr. Carlisle," Derek stuttered out and watched her ass swaying as she walked down the corridor. He was so screwed.

**Please leave me a review**

**Jen xx**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

It was 6 a.m. and Amelia was still sleeping. Meredith sat by her bed softly smoothing the hair on the top of her head, trying her hardest not to wake her. When Amelia was first born, she spent hours stroking her hair and just watching her whilst she slept peacefully in her crib. She smiled at the memory, which quickly turned into a yawn; she was exhausted. She had only had a few hours' sleep at Amelia's bedside and that only equated to two at the most.

Since Amelia had got sick, the difficulty she had getting to sleep had only got worse but last night it was damn near impossible. Meredith was still in deep shock at seeing Derek again yesterday and in an even deeper shock at the memory of what had cascaded between them in his office. She hadn't thought she would ever see him again, she often wondered what happened to him over the years and if she was honest, practically throughout the last two decades he was never far from her thoughts. The amount of time which he occupied her thoughts had become less and less over the years of course, however, he was always there, a distant memory.

She was surprised though at how intense the feelings she had for him were but she could not help but feel immensely guilty about how physical things got between them in his office. She was married and although she had never loved Matt with the same intensity she had loved Derek with, she did love him.

He had been her rock for such a long time and was the first man that she allowed herself to get close to and had remotely opened up to. Now she couldn't help but feel ashamed of herself, she had betrayed him and their family. Granted things had become difficult between them since Amelia had gotten sick. They tended to take their frustrations out on one another and she had completely pushed Matt away out of guilt. She was not just being over emotional last night when she told Derek that she believed Amelia's illness was God's way of punishing her for the life she had aborted, she honestly believed that. Matt was a great guy, a wonderful father and he didn't deserve having her cheat on him.

Meredith wished that she could convince herself that it was a one time thing and that she got caught up in the moment. Seeing Derek had made her relive her past and that had made her vulnerable. But she knew deep down that this was not the case and when she walked out of his office last night leaving him with his so called girlfriend, she was gloating at the fact that she had just had sex with him and that they would have sex again.

Now that a few hours had past between then and now, she desperately wanted to believe that it was a mistake and that it was not going to be repeated but she couldn't. She wanted him. When they were teenagers, they had been insatiable. The sex between them had been incredible and she had never been able to get enough of him. What they shared last night was by far the best sex that she had in her life and she was aching for him, he was like a drug. Meredith knew that she had to get a grip on herself, she just didn't know how and like she had thought to herself last night she knew that she was so screwed…

The door opened quietly making her look up and taking her out of her thoughts. She let go of the deep breath that she had took in thanking her lucky stars that it was only Cristina, she didn't want to deal with Derek or Matt just yet. "Hey," she said quietly as she stood up and slowly walked over to join Cristina at the door, still not wanting to wake Amelia.

"You look like crap," Cristina stated simply.

"I look better than you," Meredith retorted.

"Now, that's not possible."

"What are you doing here? Do you not have interns to torture?"

"I already set them up for a day's worth of torture… Anyone would think that you were not happy to see me?"

Meredith looked at Cristina and raised her eyebrows whilst doing her best to avoid actual eye contact.

"Oh my God!" Cristina admonished, "What did you do?"

Meredith quickly glanced at Amelia who had stirred slightly at Cristina's louder tone, but went straight back off without fully waking. Meredith shoved Cristina out of the door and gently closed it so that they were outside Amelia's room, staying close to the door so that she could keep an eye on her daughter through the window.

"Amelia is seriously ill, we have had to fly across the country with her only for me to have to fly back because my boss is a major asshole. I get back here to find that the amorous Dr. Shepherd is none other then my first love Derek Maloney, so let's just concentrate on that. Well, not on Derek Maloney or Doctor Shepherd, as he is now known as, but on Amelia, let's just focus on Amelia and forget about what I may or may not have done."

"Seriously, did you even breathe through that ramble? So, Derek, huh?"

"Cristina!" Meredith said in a warning tone.

"Oh come on, it's not as if you two are gonna rekindle your past," Cristina watched her best friend swallow loudly and as both of her cheeks began to go red. "You didn't…" she asked in a shocked yet intrigued tone.

"We did, in his office last night," Meredith replied as she turned slightly and put her head back against the door.

"Let me get this straight, you had sex with Derek in his office."

"Yes."

"Last night you and Shepherd did it."

"Yes."

"You and McDreamy did the nasty nasty…"

"Cristina!" Meredith hissed as she diverted her eyes from the ceiling to look at her friend.

"I'm not judging, I am just trying to wrap my head around it…" Cristina began but was interrupted by Meredith as she suddenly giggled.

"Did you seriously just call him McDreamy?" Meredith smiled as she thought back to the dorky kid Derek had always been. He had got hotter by the time he went to college but she never had imagined him being McDreamy to anyone other then herself with his wild hair and crooked nose. But saying that, as she let out a sigh, she thought that the nickname sure as hell certainly fitted him now.

"Yeah after the way he has all the females on staff, barring me, swooning all over him, you know he has the whole head tilting and leaning thing going on."

"I imagine he does," Meredith said as a flash of jealousy flushed through her.

"Must admit though, just when I think you are boring, you rise."

"Thanks, Cristina, for your sarcasm, knew I could rely on you."

"You're welcome," Cristina said with a smirk, which turned serious after looking at Meredith. "Look, Mer, what are you doing? I know you have a history with this guy and that you two parted through no fault of your own and you thought that he was your Mr. Whatever but that was a long time ago. Meredith, you are married and he is seeing someone."

"Don't you think I already know this?" Meredith said in an irritated tone, she felt bad because she had committed adultery but more than that, she could not stand the thought of Derek being with somebody else and she knew she had no right to feel that way.

"Meredith, I am on your side, always remember that. What does it mean?"

"I don't know, you know, so much is happening at the moment everything is a mess, I am so worried about Lia. Matt and I are having problems and now Derek has come back into my life…"

"Hey," Cristina said interrupting Meredith as she put a hand on her arm. "Everything will be ok. What did Derek say?"

"He didn't get the chance to say anything really, I tried to push him away after… but he didn't buy it and he kissed me and then the nurse almost walked in on us."

"You mean McHorseface?" Cristina asked with a grin.

"McHorse…" Meredith began but shook her head smiling, "Cristina, that is just awful."

"No correction, she is awful… You telling me you didn't see the teeth?"

"I did," Meredith said with a giggle.

"McDreamy can do so much better then her, we were surprised when he began dating her exclusively."

"Yeah, he said he had only recently started dating her."

"Yeah, prior to that he was… Well, you probably can imagine," upon seeing the look on Meredith's face, Cristina decided not to finish her sentence. "You know we always wondered what his deal was. I always assumed that some woman did the dirty on him. Who would have thought he was broken due to his past with you."

"I always imagined he would have got married and had a few kids of his own. But he didn't, why didn't I try to find him, Cris?"

"Because you didn't know and you had no way of knowing that he would not have moved on."

"But I should have, I know him better than I know myself."

"Meredith, back then you were a mess, you had moved away from home, were struggling to get yourself through med school and regardless of how much you know him, if he had moved on back, then it would have finished you."

"I know."

"You made the best decision for yourself at that time in your life."

"I guess."

"No, Meredith, I will not allow you to slip back into that state, your daughter needs you."

"I won't, I promise, Cristina."

"Good! Now back to McDreamy, what are you going to do?"

Meredith giggled again at the nickname before turning serious.

"I wish I knew, I mean I am married and he is with someone else…"

"Oh, Honey don't make any decision you make based on McHorseface who lives in the candy store."

"Matt doesn't deserve this and neither does Amelia. I cannot turn her life upside down."

"There you go then, you answered your question, you already know what to do."

"I only wish it was that easy," Meredith said as she sighed.

"It can be as…" Cristina began but suddenly stopped as she saw an overly moussed neurosurgeon approaching. "McDreamy three o' clock."

Meredith turned her head to the right and let out a slight groan, trying not to reciprocate the smile which Derek gave her. "Hey," she said in a low tone and could not help it as her eyes drifted over his body. She silently reprimanded herself, what happened between them last night she could not allow to happen again.

"Hey, Ladies."

"Remember, I am immune to the McDreamy charm," Cristina chirped out.

"I wasn't…"

"Save it, McDreamy, I know you are no longer interested…"

"Wait a second," Meredith said interrupting Cristina and glaring at Derek. "You hit on Cristina?" she questioned him in a shocked tone.

"Um… Not exactly, I may have asked her out for a drink, once."

"Relax, Mer, it was innocent, not that that should concern you anyway," Cristina said as she looked between the pair of them with an accusing look on her face.

Derek looked at Meredith with a questioning expression, Meredith simply nodded her head at him confirming that she had filled Cristina in on what had transpired between them. "So Dr. Carlisle, I need to talk to you about Amelia's treatment plan…."

"Oh please, you know already that I know the history between you two. I noticed the silent conversation you two just had with your eyes, it's impressive, sickening but impressive. I have a patient I need to see. And you two make sure that discussing Amelia's treatment plan is the only thing you get up to," Cristina said as she walked off, earning herself a glare from Meredith.

"You told her," Derek said as he rounded on Meredith.

"It just kinda came out," Meredith said sheepishly.

"You still ramble," he smiled at her.

"Derek…" she warned him.

"What? I find it adorable…"

"You always did…"

"Do," he interrupted her. "You said did… Past tense, I would still find it adorable…" he said taking a step towards her, he just couldn't help himself.

"Derek!" she hissed as she backed further away from him.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"You know what," Meredith said in an accusing tone.

"Sorry, I can't help it. Listen we have got to talk…" he began.

"Yeah, I know, Lia's treatment plan," Meredith said once again interrupting him as she turned her head to glance at her daughter's sleeping form.

"Yes, we have to discuss Amelia's treatment plan but we also need to talk about last night and what…" Derek didn't get the chance to finish as an approaching voice interrupted him, causing Meredith's body to immediately tense up. She automatically backed further away from Derek, her right hand going immediately to play with the wrist strap of her watch.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you to those of you who left a review following my last update.  
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Chapter 13

"Good Morning," Matt called out as he approached his wife and Dr. Shepherd, the guy whom he knew she had a history with. They had been childhood sweethearts or whatever, kids stuff… Surely he didn't have anything to worry about but he could see the way in which Dr. Shepherd was looking at his wife and he didn't like it. He knew what he had to do as he walked up to them and took Meredith into his arms, his hands instantly going to the back of her head as he held her in position for a deep kiss, being sure to mark his territory.

Derek stood there and his whole body started to stiffen as the man in front of him, the person who had the title of being Meredith's husband, approached them. He was overcome with a wave of nausea, anger and jealously as Matt attacked Meredith's mouth in front of him. It amazed him how after all this time he was still immensely angry at the fact that they were not together, he should have been her husband.

He watched as Meredith's hands briefly went to Matt's hips, she was enjoying her husband kissing her, he couldn't help but clench his fists and turn away slightly. And as Meredith pulled back from the kiss, he let go of the breath he was holding when her eyes found his and silently apologized. A breath of relief washed over him; she had not enjoyed that, that was not how she looked after they shared a kiss, she looked entirely uncomfortable and unnatural right now. Matt might be trying to piss all over Meredith to mark her and she may wear his wedding band on her finger but he didn't have her, not the way that Derek did.

"What was that?" Meredith panted out feeling a little breathless from the unexpected kiss. Matt was never one to put on such a display of public affection and she had always been happy about that. She always felt a little uncomfortable, like something was wrong and after last night she knew what it was, he was not Derek. As he kissed her, she had instantly found herself imagining that it was Derek's mouth on hers. Matt's behavior puzzled her, it was so out of character. [I]_So, why now?[/I] _Meredith thought to herself… [I]_Why the public display of affection now_?[/I]

"What? Am I not allowed to greet my wife? I don't know, Dr. Shepherd," Matt said as he looked in Derek's direction, "anyone would think that she forgot that she was married."

Meredith coughed slightly. [I]'_Oh boy',[/I] _she thought to herself. He was already jealous of Derek, this was already messier than she could have imagined, and if her actions of last night were anything to go by, Matt could not have been closer to the truth if he tried.

"Of course not, honey," Meredith said as she leaned forward and placed a quick kiss on his lips, inwardly cringing at the pain she knew it would cause Derek.

Matt broke away from Meredith feeling confident that Dr. Shepherd knew exactly who Meredith belonged to and after the kiss they had just shared, he was reassured more than anything that whatever Meredith had experienced with Dr. Shepherd was over, it was just kids stuff after all. It had been a while since they had shared such a kiss, if ever, and it was so full of passion. "So, how is Amelia? Did she sleep ok last night?"

"She is still stable at the moment, she slept fine," Meredith replied.

"Then why do you look like you have not? Honey, you look like crap," Matt said in a condescending tone making Meredith feel guilty and embarrassed in front of Derek.

"I- I…" Meredith began to stutter out but was interrupted by Derek who sensed her predicament and was also outraged at the way in which Matt had spoken to Meredith. Granted, she looked a little tired but she looked anything but crap, she was beautiful.

"It's only natural for a mother to have sleepless nights when her child is seriously sick."

"Oh, trust me, I know, Dr. Shepherd. I have had many sleepless nights myself."

"Um, Derek was about to go over Lia's treatment plan…" Meredith said interrupting them when Matt's cell phone suddenly started to ring.

"Give me two seconds, I have got to take this," Matt said with a frown as he glanced at the display and walked away from them to take the call in private.

"Derek," Meredith hissed. "What was that about?"

"What are you on about?"

"Oh, don't give me that, you know full well what I am talking about."

"Mer, the guy's an Ass. I cannot believe he spoke to you like that."

"Derek, it's not for you to defend me with him, especially not after last night. And it is the truth, I do look like crap."

"You look like anything but crap, a little tired perhaps, but totally gorgeous."

"Derek you cannot say things like that to me," Meredith said trying to reprimand him, however, the blush that was creeping over her features betrayed her.

Derek went to take a step towards Meredith but he stopped in his tracks as Matt once again approached them.

"When will Lia's surgery take place?" Matt asked as he came to stand back next to Meredith.

"It's difficult to tell for sure. I would like to hold off as long as possible. It all depends on the severity of her seizures and the growth of the tumor. But at a guess, I would say we looking at one week," Derek said in response to Matt's question.

"Why, what's wrong?" Meredith turned slightly towards her husband

"One of the juniors has stuffed up some evidence in a case and the client has gone ballistic, he has requested a meeting with me in person."

"When?" she asked as her heartbeat started to speed up and as wrong as it was, she was sure it was due to the thought of being able to have some time alone with Derek without Matt being around.

"They want to meet tomorrow morning, Violet wants to put me on A flight at midday today to Seattle. I will be gone 2 days max, is that ok?"

"Yes, Lia and I will be fine," Meredith said trying her best not to sound so enthusiastic about it. She looked towards Derek and could see that the same thoughts were going through his head.

"Your sure, honey?" Matt asked as he looked between Meredith and Derek.

"Absolutely," she nodded taking a step towards Matt and giving him a quick kiss on his lips, her eyes again silently apologizing to Derek as she pulled back. "Go kick their asses."

"Ok, you be sure to call me though if anything changes with Lia."

"I will…" she didn't get the chance to finish as the door to Amelia's room flew open and she stood there holding on to her IV stand, none of them had noticed her wake up.

"Are you gossiping about me?" she asked placing one of her hands on her hips.

"No, Sweetie, of course not," Meredith said as she bent down and kissed her on the cheek. "You were sleeping and we didn't want to wake you. Now, what are you doing out of bed? You know you are not supposed to run around."

"But, Mama, I am not running around though."

"You have a smart one there," Derek said as he looked on smiling at Amelia, not being able to believe just how alike Meredith she actually was, complete with the attitude as well.

"And she knows it, don't you encourage her," Meredith said as she smiled at Derek briefly before diverting her attention back to Amelia. "And Amelia, you know you need to be careful and you should not be getting out of your bed by yourself."

"I am sorry, Mama."

"Just remember for next time," Meredith said as she ruffled her hair. "Come on, let's get you back in bed."

"Can Mr. Derek come in too?"

"Yes, Mr. Derek can come," Matt said as he scooped Amelia up into his arms, and walked with her towards her bed, Meredith and Derek followed in. "He is going to tell us a little about the special tests he is going to run on you but first we have to have a little talk," Matt said as he deposited Amelia onto the bed. "Daddy has got to go home for a few days for work…"

"You get to go on the air plane again like Mama had to."

"Yes, I do and I will bring you back another bear," Matt promised whilst Meredith looked on and rolled her eyes at him.

"Yay, thank you, Daddy!"

"You are welcome, sweet pea, but you listen to me, you are to be a good girl for your Mommy and for Dr. Shepherd."

"I will, I promise, pinky swear," Amelia said as she held her little finger up to Matt so that he could link it with his little finger and shake it. She then did the same to Meredith before turning to Derek. "Pinky swear, Mr. Derek."

Derek stepped forward and did the pinky swear with her. "So do you want me to run over the test which we have planned today for the special princess?" Derek asked as he looked to Meredith and Matt.

"Yes, of course," Matt answered for them.

"Right, first things first," Derek said as he turned back to Amelia, "I need to take my special pen and look to see if there are any elephants dancing in your brain."

"Ha ha ha, Mr. Derek you are so funny, isn't he so funny, Mama?" Amelia giggled.

"Yes, honey, he is funny," Meredith said as she felt her heart swell watching Derek with Amelia. He was so good with her, she couldn't help the guilt and sadness which washed over her, he would have made such an excellent father. He had barely known Amelia for 24 hours and yet the way they were with each other, an outsider would have thought that they would have known one another for a lifetime.

She looked at Matt who was not even paying any attention to the interaction that was going on, he was busy scrolling through his blackberry. She looked between the two of them noticing how different they were, they were polar opposites and now it made sense to her; she had purposely settled with Matt because Derek was everything he wasn't. Being with Matt didn't remind her every day of Derek, the man she had lost and thought she would never see again. But now he was here and what it all meant, she didn't know. She knew he would want to talk about it, he wouldn't be happy to settle with being the other guy and she knew that he didn't deserve that. He deserved to be happy, have a wife and children he could call his own. The only trouble was that as much as she knew he deserved that, there was a selfish part of her that didn't want him to have it with anyone else than her. But she already had it with someone else and what about Seattle? Their home was in Seattle. God, it was all such a mess…

**I have not been getting many reviews, are you guys enjoying reading? I am grateful for any feedback please leave a comment.**

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**Jen  
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	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you so much to everyone who left a review after the last update, I really do appreciate the feed back and it means a lot to know that people are reading and enjoying. I just wanted to add that usually I do not agree with adultery but this is fic land and we are talking about Merder here lol. I also wanted to say that I am not a medical expert and I briefly did some research for the update below but mainly made it up.**

**Hope you enjoy...**

Chapter 14

Meredith had left Matt with Amelia to have some father-daughter time alone before his trip back to Seattle. She had gone to the skills lab with Derek, so that he could run her through the procedure and the equipment that would be used. She had more than done her homework but as a fellow neurosurgeon, she was interested in seeing the equipment firsthand. They were currently looking over Amelia's latest CT scans that, thank God, had only shown a tiny increase in size.

"You do realize I should not be showing you these, don't you?" Derek said to Meredith as they stood a few feet apart looking over the scans that were up on the light box.

"Yes, I know," she glared at him, "and I truly do appreciate you showing them to me but remember I have seen them before. I am no ordinary parent, Der. I am not someone who has no knowledge of how these things are."

"I know but you are still that, Meredith, you are still a parent and this is not just any patient. That is your own daughter's brain up there."

"Why are you doing this? Do you honestly think I don't know that?" Meredith asked as she crossed her arms defensively. "I have lived watching my baby seize for almost two years now with the knowledge that there was nothing that could be done to stop it. I have had to come to terms with the fact that any time she seizes, I could lose her, so you don't have to stand there and remind me that is my daughter's brain up there!"

"Meredith," he said gently as he came to stand in front of her, closing the distance between them, and ran his hands up and down her arms, letting a sigh of relief when she didn't pull away. "I am sorry I didn't mean to insinuate that… You know me, I would never accuse you of being detached from your daughter. It's just there are some things you know as a neurosurgeon yourself that I don't want to go through in detail with you. Meredith, I want you to trust me, can you do that?" He asked looking into her eyes, which captivated him every time, and like a magnet he was once again drawn to her by a strong force. He couldn't help himself as he covered her lips with his.

As soon as Meredith felt his mouth against hers she knew she should have pushed him away. Instead, she found herself moaning into his mouth that she trusted him and her arms moved of their own accord around his neck. Her fingers automatically gripped onto his curls just as they always did, and sensually tugged at them pulling his mouth closer to hers. She opened her mouth instantly granting his tongue deep access to her caverns, relishing the feeling of his tongue moving against hers. She also relished the feeling of his hands on her body; one of them rested on her ass bringing her flush into his fully formed erection, the other was stretched out flat on the top of her back connecting her breasts tightly against his hard chest.

They stayed locked in the embrace for a few minutes before Meredith pulled back panting, "Der – Der I- I…"

"Ssh, it's ok," he said as he ran his thumb along her swollen bottom lip, breathing as hard as she was. "I understand we can't now," he said with a seductive grin. "You need to know about Amelia's procedure."

"Thank you," she said as she looked into his eyes and placed a quick kiss onto his lips before backing out of his embrace.

"To be continued…" Derek wriggled his eyebrows at her.

"You are terrible…"

"Maybe, but you love it."

Meredith felt her body tense at his words. She did love him but she couldn't admit that to him, or to herself. She quickly changed the subject, which did not go unnoticed by Derek. "So talk me through it step by step and show me the instruments as you go along."

"Ok," he said feeling slightly dejected. "So I will open the skull flap…" he trailed off as he saw Meredith take in a deep breath, "Look Mer are you sure about this?" he asked in a gentle concerned tone.

"I am not going to lie and say it's easy to hear this, because I know you would see right through it, but I need to hear it, Derek, please…?"

"Ok… We will then place this helmet carefully over her skull. I have had this one specially made according to the head measurements you provided."

Meredith took in another deep breath as she took the helmet from Derek, she had seen plenty of these but never one so small. It was hard to think like a doctor at this particular moment and all the questions she should be asking as a doctor disappeared entirely from her head. All she could think about was that the helmet in her hands would be eventually placed onto her baby girl's open brain.

Derek could sense her turmoil and came to stand right next to her, all he saw before him was an anxious parent, not a fellow doctor. He began to explain to her in layman's terms what each hole in the helmet was for, knowing it would sink in a lot better than any medical terminology would. "So once we place the helmet onto her head, the table she is laying on will be rolled into the lead hub. I will then stand on the outside and pass a gamma knife… a radioactive ray through this hole here," he said and ran his hands over the helmet in her hands showing her the holes. "I will also pass a ray through this hole here at the same time."

"H- how can you be sure that the waves will hit the tumor?" she asked, her medical knowledge now returning to her, after Derek's simple explanations had sunk in.

"Well the helmet was developed according to the measurements you gave for Amelia's head size, they were used in conjunction with her last CT scan images, which were taken in Seattle. This little spindle here allows us to slightly reposition the holes to allow for any growth of the tumor between the time the scan took place and the time in which the operation is conducted.

"And how do you know you will use the correct dosage and not fry her brain?"

"Over the course of the trial I have continuously adjusted the dosage and I am hoping that I have the correct calculations…"

"You're going by hope?" Meredith demanded incredulously.

"Meredith, all I have is hope. You need to trust me, you know what clinical trials are like. You grasp around in the dark praying for a miracle cure. It takes patience, zest and perseverance… Trust me?" Derek asked gently as he came and stood in front of her taking the helmet from her hand and placing it onto the table before taking her hands in his.

"Ok," she gulped, her eyes connecting deeply with his.

"Thank you," he replied as he gently squeezed her hands before letting go, they still had a bit more to discuss before he could allow them to get lost in each other. "I have developed two smaller gammar knives, which are half the size of the ones I have used on the adults who I have conducted the trial on.

Meredith simply nodded at the information, taking a deep breath before allowing the current thought in her head to be put into words. "Because of her age, she has an increased chance of suffering a bleed. What are you going to do if that happens?"

"Well, obviously I will try to get the bleed under control and cauterize it…"

"And if that doesn't work?" Meredith asked as the tears began to form in her eyes.

"I will revert to a full craniotomy and remove her temporal lobe."

Meredith gasped as tears started to spill from her eyes, "O- Ok, b- but, Derek, y- you need to pro- promise one thing…"

"Wh- what's that?" he asked as he took a step towards her and pulled her into his arms. He hated this, it was just so unfair and he prayed that he would be able to deliver on his promise to her and save her daughter's life.

"I- If the bleeding doesn't st- stop after you remove her temporal lobe I- I…" Meredith was now sobbing hard in Derek's arms. "I don't wa- want you t- to remove her fron- frontal l- lobe, y- you l- let her g- go."

"Ok, ssh," he wrapped one arm tighter around her and ran his other hand over her head and through her hair, his signature way of calming her down. "It's not going to come to that, I promise." He said a silent prayer at the same time as he kissed the top of her head, letting go of the breath he was holding as he felt her sobs begin to subside and felt her body relax in his embrace.

A knock at the door suddenly caused them to jump apart, and they both breathed with relief when Richard Webber walked in. "Sorry, I hope I am not interrupting anything?"

"No, Sir, we have finished here, I just went through the procedure with Dr. Carlisle," Derek said cringing at the formal tone.

"Meredith…" Richard said as he held open his arms to her and she walked over to meet his embrace. "I just came from Amelia's room, your husband said that you would be here. Honey, you shouldn't put yourself through all the details."

"How can I not, Richard?" she asked as she pulled out of his embrace. "Please. don't blame Derek…"

"Oh, don't worry I won't. I know just how you Grey women are but saying that, technically speaking, you are no longer a Grey are you?" Richard said with a chuckle.

"No, I am not," Meredith stated as if she was proud of that fact.

"I bet she was damn persuasive wasn't she, Shep?"

"She sure was, Chief, but then again I have never been able to say no to her," Derek took in a deep breath as soon as the words left his mouth and he realized his mistake.

"Hold on, you have never been able to say no to her?" Richard questioned.

"I- I…" Derek began to stutter but Meredith jumped in and rescued him.

"It's ok, Der. Richard, Derek and I have a history. Remember the guy my parents moved me away from when my mom joined you at Mass Gen?"

"Of course, I should have clicked but wait a second, wasn't he the son of Congressman Maloney?"

"Yes, technically speaking the guy is my father but we are no longer on speaking terms, and I changed my surname to that of my mother's."

"You know Meredith's parents and I go way back. I was at med school with Ellis, and my wife and I are Meredith's god parents. We couldn't believe the stunt she pulled and we did our best to help Meredith when they came to live in Boston."

"You helped more than you would ever know and the fact that you are helping me out now with Lia means the world to me."

"I would do anything for you and that little girl, I take it you still have not told your parents that she is sick."

"No, and I appreciate your discretion."

"Meredith…"

"Richard, no, I don't want anything to do with her. You know I have not spoken to my mother in over seventeen years and she has never even met Lia."

"Mer, you did med school by yourself?" Derek interrupted.

"Yes, shortly after my eighteenth birthday I left home and never went back. Of course she cut me off but I didn't care, I wanted nothing to do with her."

"You are amazing, you know that?" he said as he gazed into her eyes, quickly becoming lost in them.

Richard stood there in awe looking between the girl he thought of as his own daughter and the surgeon he had come to think of as a son. He could see the love that still flowed between them as they looked into each other's eyes. Back then, he had always known that the pain Meredith had suffered at losing him was real and more than just a silly childhood crush as Ellis had labeled it.

It was tragic, Richard thought, because Meredith was married and very much taken, and he couldn't help but wish that it was not the case. That sparkle in her eyes had been absent since the last time he had seen her on her 14th birthday, which was a few years prior to her move to Boston. The teenager who moved to Boston was dead inside and the woman standing in front of him now was once again very much alive. He couldn't help but wonder what this meant for her marriage.

**Comments/reviews would be greatly appreciated...**

**Jen xxx  
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	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you for the reviews following the last chapter. A revelation will be made at the end of this update, I hope you enjoy...  
><strong>

Chapter 15

"Oh, come on, Derek, you promised last week to take me to that new Chinese restaurant …"

Derek was sitting in the canteen with Rose, getting an evening snack, and was listening to her whine on about wanting him to take her to a restaurant that had opened two weeks ago not far from the hospital. But the only thoughts crossing his mind were whether or not Meredith still had her hatred of Chinese food.

He should have really gone home ages ago. Technically, his shift finished 2 hours ago, but he desperately needed to see Meredith, especially with her husband being back in Seattle. He was hoping that they would be able to talk but he needed to wait until Amelia was settled down for the night. He had briefly passed her room earlier and had seen her and Meredith alone together though he didn't feel that he had the right to walk in and invade that little girl's family. Ever since he and Meredith had restarted this thing between them, he couldn't help but think of the innocent little girl who was potentially going to be caught in the middle. She had suffered enough already and didn't deserve to have her family torn apart. If he was a better guy, he would have walked away, but he knew he didn't have the strength in him to be the better guy, not where Meredith was concerned.

Shaking his arm from across the table, Rose finally brought his attention back to their conversation.

"Derek, are you even listening to me?" she demanded.

"Of course, I am listening to you."

"Really? Then what did I just say?"

"You said that last week I promised to take you to the new Chinese restaurant that opened."

"You are such a smart ass!"

"What?" Derek chuckled. "You said I wasn't listening to you and asked me to repeat what you said, and I was able to because I was listening."

"Maybe, but you were not really present in the conversation, you looked like you were a million miles away…"

"Rose…" he interrupted.

"No, Derek, what is going on? The last few days you have been distracted, you have been staying late at the hospital and you know it has been a week since we have… you know…"

Derek inwardly cringed at the thought of having sex with Rose after being with Meredith again, it made him nauseous and the memory of the recent sex with Meredith caused his lower regions to stir. "Rose, you know I am working on the trial and…" he suddenly trailed off as he could feel Meredith's presence and sure enough, when he turned around he spotted her leaving the coffee cart in the canteen. She was looking straight at him and Rose and she did not seem very happy.

"Oh look, Derek, there is your trial patient's mother! You didn't tell me she was a neurosurgeon as well, this must be so hard on her. And I heard some of the nurses say earlier that her husband had to fly back home for business, so she is all alone here in New York, let's invite her to join us…"

"N-…" But before Derek could stop her, she had already called over to Meredith.

"Dr. Carlisle, come and join us?" Rose shouted to Meredith.

Matt had left at 11am to return to Seattle as planned. Amelia had been sleeping for thirty minutes when Cristina came in and ordered her to go and take a minimum of 3 hours to herself whilst she sat with Amelia. She was not on call and had an article to write and Cristina said Amelia's room was the perfect place for her to do it.

Meredith had secretly hoped that Derek would have stopped by to see her and as she left the coffee cart, she had the answer as to why he had not. He was with his girlfriend, who was sat there chewing on a candy bar, and it looked like it was not just the candy bar she was chewing to bits. She appeared to be going on and on… God, how old was she?

She thought at first that Derek looked as though he was not interested in a thing that McHorseface, as Cristina called her, was saying. But then Meredith heard him laugh and she could not stop the stab of jealousy that went through her, it hurt that he was laughing with another woman. They needed to talk, things could not go on like this, she was about to leave the canteen not being able to stomach the scene which was playing out in front of her any longer when all of a sudden, Derek turned around and his eyes instantly locked with hers.

She was going to walk away but then the candy whore called her over to join them, and in a split second, Meredith was walking in their direction, approaching them with a smirk on her face, and as wrong as it was, she thought she could have a little fun.

Derek took in a deep breath as he watched Meredith walk towards their table. He expected her to decline the invitation but no, here she was steadily approaching them and he didn't fail to notice the mischievous grin which briefly crossed her features. Boy, he was in for it, and he was starting to get a little nervous at having his girlfriend and… He was momentarily stumped as to what to describe Meredith as until his gaze met hers again and then he knew without a shadow of a doubt, that she was still the love of his life. All of the feelings of nervousness that he had started to develop disappeared, the feeling was now replaced by one of excitement and he felt his trousers grow incredibly tight.

"Hi, Dr. Shepherd and… I am sorry, what was your name again?" Meredith asked quickly throwing a flirtatious grin in Derek's direction as she pulled out a chair to sit down right next to him.

"It's Rose…"

"Ah, yes of course, I am…" Meredith began but was interrupted by the nurse.

"Don't worry, there was no need to apologize Dr. Carlisle, you have a lot of big things on your mind at the moment," Rose said as she gave a grin which showed her teeth to their full advantage, including a large piece of what appeared to be licorice stuck in the corner of one of them.

"Yes, I know I have," Meredith said as her hand moved to the top of Derek's thigh under the table and immediately made direct contact with his groin. She squeezed it slightly and the shock of the touch caused Derek to yelp and practically jump from his seat. "Are you ok there, Dr. Shepherd?" Meredith asked with a bemused grin.

"Derek, Honey, what's wrong?" Rose asked as she put one of her hands over his and looked skeptically between him and Meredith.

He pulled his hand away and put it to his mouth. "I bit my tongue," he said lamely, coughing and throwing a glance in Meredith's direction. She briefly smiled and discreetly removed her hand.

"Oh, ok," Rose said, not entirely believing him, but she decided to let it go for now. "So, how is your daughter doing?" she asked Meredith who was visibly trying not to giggle.

"She is stable, the new anti seizure cocktail which Der- Dr. Shepherd has her on seems to be working well at the moment. She has not suffered a seizure since we arrived here."

"That's good. Seeing as she is doing ok, you might be able to help me to convince my boyfriend that it is ok for him to leave the hospital and take me to the new Ming's Chinese restaurant which opened around the block."

_GOD_, thought Meredith. She disliked the woman in front of her with such a passion. "I um…"

"It's ok," Derek said interrupting Meredith, hoping that his tone reassured her at the same time that he was not leaving with Rose. "Rose, I have already told you, I need to stay here tonight, so please give it a rest. We will go another night."

"I wouldn't if I were you," Meredith spoke up and he could see the mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "We had one of the Ming's chain of restaurants open in Seattle, they got shut down by the health commissioner's department though. There were reports made that dogs were suddenly disappearing and… then one of my neighbors' dog's collar was discovered in a bin when it was knocked over by raccoons. Poor little Sookie," Meredith shook her head as she said the last part.

"Ewww, that is gross," Rose admonished, once again fully displaying her teeth.

"Hmmm I know, one of the reasons why I do not eat Chinese food," Meredith said with a grin. "Hey, Rose do we know each other?" The smirk she was wearing previously was once again plastered on her face.

"Excuse me?" Rose enquired in a confused tone. She was also feeling slightly nauseated at the recent revelations from Dr. Carlisle, she practically lived on Chinese food…

"Well…" Meredith began as Derek shot her an amused look. "I feel like I know you, and if we know each other, I am able to tell you that you have a large piece of licorice stuck in your teeth."

Rose automatically threw her hand up to cover her mouth, "Oh, um, thank you, I have got to go. I will see you tomorrow Derek, bye. Dr. Carlisle," she said in an embarrassed tone as she quickly stood up from the table without even bothering to kiss him goodbye.

Upon her exit from the canteen Meredith could not help the fit of laughter which spewed out of her.

"Meredith," Derek shook his head looking at her with a smirk. He was absolutely flabbergasted with her recent behavior and incredibly turned on; she had just chased his girlfriend out of the canteen and there could only be one reason for that, she was jealous and a jealous Meredith was hot!

"What?" she asked innocently.

"You know what," he replied in a husky tone as he grabbed her hand and brought it back under the table to his swollen cock. "Follow me, now!" he demanded, even though he knew it was probably a bad idea and that they should talk first before sleeping together again. He needed to know what it meant, he realized the circumstances they were in were virtually impossible but he also knew that he would not be able to allow her to walk out of his life again.

Meredith instantly followed him out of the canteen, stuffing the granola bar she had brought into her pocket and leaving her untouched coffee on the table, knowing all too well that she was going to get a pick me up of a different kind altogether. Her panties were already soaked through, they had become so the instant she found Derek's hard cock waiting for her under the table. By the look in his eyes as he stood up from the table and headed out, there was only one thing on his mind. He was going to stick his huge cock inside of her and God, she knew she needed it. She also knew that they needed to talk but right now talking could wait. Meredith was relieved by this thought, she was not a fan of talking and if she was honest, she was still at a loss as to what this meant. All she knew was that she was playing with fire and the only thing she could hope was that her daughter was not the one who got burnt.

* * *

><p>"Oh, my God, I am gonna cum baby, you are so perfect…" he said as he continued to pound into her. He could feel the familiar rush of euphoria begin to creep throughout his body. It happened anytime they were together, their bodies fit perfectly.<p>

"Baby, you are a- amazing," she panted out; she loved the feel of his cock inside of her. The only thing she wished was that it was hers permanently and hers only. She could feel her walls clench around him as her orgasm hit hard and washed over her like a tidal wave. "G- God… God… God!" she gasped out, her body tingling from head to toe.

As soon as he felt her walls begin to clamp around him, his cock trembled and pulsated with imminent release.

"Oh my God, Violet!" he screamed out as he began to spill into the latex barrier that was between them.

"Matt!" Violet cried out his name as another orgasm caused by his final thrust washed over her.

**So, who saw that coming? Mature content coming in the next update.**

**Please leave me a review **

**Jen xx**


	16. Chapter 16

**I really do appreciate the comments, thank you to everyone who is taking the time to leave one. It is good to know that people are enjoying the story.**

**So the below update contains MATURE content, hope you enjoy...  
><strong>

Chapter 16

The second Meredith entered the on call room following Derek, he had her pinned up against the door so fast and hard that it caused the door to slam shut. His mouth instantly claimed hers as his hands began to roam her body.

Meredith moaned into his mouth as their tongues began to battle, both of them trying to take control as they re-explored the crevices of each other's mouths, that they only knew too well. Her arms went tightly around his neck, her fingers tangled wildly in his hair, her tongue thrust deeply into his mouth. "Derek," she groaned and panted out. "The d- door?"

He took one of his hands away from the button on her jeans which he was in the process of undoing. He blindly searched the door behind her for the lock as he felt her hands move down to his scrubs. His mouth never left hers as he delved his tongue hard into it, meeting the equally hard thrusts of its mate. "I- it's locked," he moaned into her mouth in satisfaction as he heard the lock click into place. His hand rejoined the other to remove Meredith's trousers; she was already much further along now in the game of undressing. His scrubs were pooled around his ankles and Meredith's hands were under the waistband of his boxers, eagerly pushing them down.

After he managed to get her trousers undone, he pushed them along with her panties down her long slender legs and his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. His fingers searched out the hem of her jumper and he felt Meredith kick her jeans and panties off.

Their mouths parted for a few seconds as they both removed each other's upper garments at the same time. He freed her from her bra and then his hands moved to cup her ass pulling her as tight as possible against him. Their mouths reconnected and his tongue began to thrust once again in her mouth, moving equally as deeply into her mouth as hers was in his, they were both moaning in unison. His erection was standing to full attention against her bare stomach and it felt so hard that it was painful. "I need you!" he moaned deeply into her mouth as he continued kissing her.

He moved his mouth to her neck. He could honestly say that in this moment he had never needed her this desperately, even in his office the previous evening during their first union in nineteen years. He remembered thinking then that he had never needed her so badly, but that was nothing compared to the need which consumed him now.

Derek's mouth was sucking on her neck as he lifted her naked right leg just underneath her knee to his waist and began to slowly stroke up her thigh back towards her ass.

She felt him lift her leg up; her core was on fire. She needed him to fill her and she needed him fast. She began to gyrate her hips against him almost causing her centre to come into direct contact with his iron clad cock, which instantly caused an animalistic sound to erupt from him. A sound which radiated from her clavicle that his mouth was currently devouring and vibrated through her entire body going straight down to her toes. "I need your cock in me now!" Meredith demanded earning her a chuckle from Derek but he willingly obliged pulling her leg off of the floor and she immediately assisted him by lifting it up to join her other leg which was already wrapped tightly around his waist.

Derek held her by her thighs and lifted her against the door before bringing her straight down and impaling her onto his cock, filling her to the hilt. "Shit, Meredith!" he moaned as he felt his cock slide into her.

"Derek!" she screamed as he entered her. She had been more than ready for him but given his huge size, she had still felt pain, which was instantaneously mixed with pleasure.

"Ssh," he hummed out as his mouth covered hers in an attempt to stifle her moans along with his own.

Her hands had long ago returned to the back of his head and had become entangled in his hair, her fingers desperately clutching at his locks. Derek's fingers had moved along her thighs and were now grasping at her naked ass holding her up as he fucked her against the door to the on call room. He was not even worried about the possible noise that could be heard from the outside. He slid his hands slowly from her butt to the top of her thighs, so that he could pry her legs even further apart allowing him deeper access to her core.

"Harder, Derek, p- please!" she begged into his mouth.

"Mer, I don't want to hurt you," he moaned as he continued his thrusts.

"Y- you won't, I n- need you, deep," she pleaded whilst sucking on his lower lip. "P- please, fuck me harder, I want McHorseface to hear me scream!"

He was shocked for just a second at her bold statement and he knew instantly that she was talking about Rose. He didn't need anymore encouragement and began to frantically drive his cock inside of her, his mouth fully back on hers as his tongue pushed fast and deep inside her mouth, imitating the actions of his cock. The fact that she had said what she did, meant that she disliked Rose and the only reason for that was because she was insanely jealous of his girlfriend. This gave him hope because on some level he knew that she wanted him to be hers. He started to frantically buck his hips into her ensuring that the tip of his cock hit her cervix, connecting them as deeply as possible so she knew that he was hers.

"Mer," he moaned.

"Derek!" she panted his name.

His mouth moved from hers again as his lips made their way across her jaw and down her neck, nipping and sucking at her flushed skin. Derek's hand left her thigh, his fingertips trailing up her body, pausing to savor the roundness of her ass, then continuing their ascent over her hips past her stomach, stopping as he reached her breast. His touch grew more frantic as he roughly captured it pushing upwards enabling him to bring her nipple to his mouth. The thrusts of his cock inside her gained momentum when she began to frantically buck her hips harder against him.

Meredith felt his hand leave her thigh and begin to travel upwards over her body, the calloused tips of his fingers passing over her in gentle strokes and leaving a path of tingles along her skin. She tightened her legs further around his waist to assist him in holding her body up. The moment Derek's hand landed on her breast she felt his mouth capture her nipple and his teeth bite down on it, it was all it took to send her tumbling over the edge into oblivion. "G-God, I –m gonna… Shit, Derek!" she screamed as she came hard. Her orgasm washed over her and her vaginal walls were clenching so tightly around him that she felt his movement instantly still.

Derek could feel her whole body shaking, her breathing coming in fast as her arms tightened around his neck as she fell against him. She looked so beautiful, he would never ever get tired of watching her come. Nineteen years ago they always tried to come together whilst looking directly into one another's eyes.

He pecked small gentle kisses all over her face as he felt her walls relax around him. He began to move his cock inside of her, once again building up to a frantic speed as the need for his own release became imperative. As the speed of his pumps grew in pace he felt Meredith's walls start to clamp around him again and he increased the force behind his thrusts, causing her to moan persistently.

She screamed out his name again, her muscles clenching around him for the second time that evening. He came shooting deep inside of her as soon as he felt her walls gripping his cock. "Meredith!" he screamed out not being able to hold back any longer. He fell against her and they held up each other's weight as they both continued to pant heavily. Their bodies continued to shake with aftershocks as they came down from their highs, clinging onto each other.

"Der- Derek, the b- bed," she panted out as she showered little kisses over the column of his neck.

Her request shocked him, as he was expecting her to get dressed and leave again. "Mer, Amelia, who is wi- with her? Do you have to get back?" he asked in raspy breaths.

"Cris- Cristina, I have a few hours," Meredith replied, still as breathless as Derek.

He could not prevent the smile that graced his features as he pulled his now flaccid cock out of her and lowered her legs to the ground. "So, we can talk?" he asked looking deep into her eyes.

Meredith heartbeat sped up even more but she knew she could not put it off any longer, even if she was aware that she was no closer to a solution for them. "Yes, but let's recover first, hey?" she asked with a giggle and lent forward, briefly capturing his lips. "Lie down with me and hold me?" she asked nervously, biting her bottom lip.

Derek brought his thumb to her mouth and ran it across it. "I would love to hold you," he said taking her by the hand and leading her over to the bed, climbing onto it and bringing her down with him. He spooned his body around hers and held onto her tightly as he nuzzled his face in her hair breathing in her scent in attempt to calm his nerves at the inevitable conversation he knew they were going to have.

**Next update a long awaited talk will happen...**

**Please leave a review**

**Jen xx**


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you for the reviews, I am happy you enjoyed the last update.**

**So Meredith and Derek talk...**

Chapter 17

Derek had been holding Meredith now for the last 30 minutes watching her sleep and listening to the soft snores which her body was emitting. They were still naked from their earlier activities and Meredith's body was tangled with his their arms and legs intertwined as Derek laid spooning her from behind.

This was the position that they had always fallen asleep in many years ago, Derek couldn't help but smile at the way they had so naturally fallen back into it together and at how perfectly their bodies still fit. He could have lain there all night just watching her sleep but she had already been sleeping for an hour, he had slumbered briefly but the growing anticipation of the talk he knew they had to have prevented him from staying in a deep slumber. He hated it but he knew he had to wake her; if he didn't, the chance for them to talk that evening would be lost as she would need to get back to her daughter.

"Mer, baby," he gently breathed into her ear as he moved her hair and began to trail soft kisses over the back of her neck moving over her shoulder. He was desperately trying to ignore his erection, which was growing harder by the second.

Meredith was having the most contented sleep she had had in as long as she could remember. She was suddenly roused from her sleep by Derek's hot breath in her ear and his mouth, which was wandering over her neck and her naked shoulder. She didn't want to wake, she wished that she could have laid there sleeping in Derek's arms forever, pretending that the world outside did not exist, that she was 15 years old again and her and Derek were living back in the time when they were happy. She didn't want to have the conversation they were going to have as she was at a loss as to what she was going to say. "Still sleeping…" she mumbled.

"No, you're not, the snoring stopped," Derek chuckled as he lightly tickled her side with one hand whilst the other remained tightly wrapped around her waist. He was unconsciously trying to keep things light between them.

"You Ass," she giggled attempting to turn in his arms. She slapped his biceps but his strong hold around her waist prevented her from turning. She scooted her ass back slightly more into him and at once became aware of his arousal that had made itself more than known. "Der, do you have a stethoscope down there or are you just happy to see me?" she asked with a giggle.

"What do you think?" he asked as lips made contact with her neck once again.

"Hmmm…" she moaned in satisfaction as she tried to turn around again in his arms, and this time Derek allowed her to.

"Hey…" he breathed out as their eyes connected.

"Hey," Meredith returned. She desperately wanted to pull her eyes away from him but found she was too deeply locked into his gaze and was unable to look away.

"Mer, we need to talk," he said gently and immediately felt her body tense in his, she began to relax slightly as he tightened his hold even more on her and started brushing over her hair.

"I know…" Meredith replied in a tone which tokd Derek that it was the last thing that she wanted to do. "When did we become grown ups and how do we make it stop?" she asked.

"I grew up that day in your parents' house nineteen years ago," Derek said as he pushed some hair out of her face.

"Der…" she said softly as she put her hand to his face.

"Earlier when I was lying in your arms, I was imagining back to when we were 15, before I fell pregnant… when everything was so much easier…" she took her hand away from his face so that she could brush away a tear that had fallen.

"You know if I could make it stop, I would," he assured as he looked into Meredith's eyes seeing the torment which was running through her.

"I know… I missed you so much."

"Me too. You know, I tried to find you."

"You did?"

"Yes, I found the hospital that your mom was working at…"

"You did?" Meredith asked again in an even more shocked tone.

"It was just after your eighteenth birthday. I guessed that if I found what hospital she was working at the chances were was that I would be able to find you. I know I promised you that day… but I couldn't stay away, I was going crazy."

"D- did you go to Boston?"

"I did…" he trailed off and Meredith could see hurt in his eyes.

"Did you see her, Derek?"

"I did, she told me that you were happy and that you had moved on and had found someone who was worthy of you…"

"She what? I never…"

"Mer, I know that now, when you were in my office and we spoke I knew instantly that she had lied to me. I should have known better, I should never have believed her so easily and we could have been happy together again a lot sooner."

"This isn't on you, I should have known better too, as you know from earlier I moved away to Seattle as soon as I turned eighteen. I wanted to find you Derek, I was a mess. I hit rock bottom, I wasn't eating or sleeping. I was drinking and using substances I should not have been using. If it was not for Cristina, I don't know where I would be today, Derek, or even if I would still be here."

"Oh Mer…" Derek said pulling her closer and briefly breaking their eye contact as he kissed her on her temple.

"I wanted to find you, to come back to New York. When I first left Boston my first thought was to come back here, back to you. But then I didn't want to be unfair to you and turn your life upside down and that of your family. Then when I got semi settled in Seattle a few months later, I wanted to come to find you again but I was seriously such a mess. I had met Cristina by that point, and she wouldn't let me. She was worried that if you had moved on, then that would have been it for me. I listened to her and I shouldn't have. I know you better than you know yourself, I should have had faith in you, had faith in us…"

"Mer, it's not your fault," Derek said brushing his lips over hers and cupping her face as he wiped the stray tears which had fallen from her eyes with the pads of his thumbs. "Look at me… I don't blame you, and Cristina was looking out for you. I am glad you found her, she sounds like she has been a good friend."

"She was… I was practically suicidal, she got me to see a counselor…"

"Oh Mer…" Derek proclaimed as tears began to gather again in his own eyes. "I hate that you went through that without me, God I hate them even to this day."

"Me too, especially my mom!" Meredith said as she put her head down on Derek's chest and kissed him, her fingers twirling in his chest hair. "What about your mom, Der, do you have any contact with her?"

"I see her occasionally for special occasions you know, the holidays, her birthday but that's it."

"What about your dad?"

"Well, he is there of course but we don't talk, I have not spoken a word to him since shortly after his affair. We barely spoke up to that point as it was, but that just did it. You said earlier that you have not spoken to your mom in seventeen years, how about your dad?"

"I saw him a few years ago, he came to visit shortly after I had Lia. Of course my mom didn't know."

"Does she know she has a granddaughter?"

"I would imagine so but she has never been in touch and I would never allow her to see Lia."

"I don't blame you… Meredith?"

"Hmmm…?" Meredith murmured as she continued to absent-mindedly trail her fingers over Derek's chest. She paused to look back up at him and once again they briefly become lost in one an others eyes.

"What are we going to do?"

"Der…" Meredith began but he interrupted her.

"Do you love him?"

"He has been there for me and he is Lia's father…"

"You are avoiding the question."

"It is not that simple, Derek."

"It is, Meredith…" he groaned pulling away from her. He was suddenly overwhelmed with frustration. He got off of the bed and began to pace around the on call room, still completely naked as he run his fingers through his hair. "You either love him or you don't."

"And if I tell you I do?"

"Then you have your answer on what we do," Derek said as he bent over and grabbed his boxers from the floor.

"Derek!" Meredith said as she got up off the bed. "What are you doing?"

"Meredith, I need to go, I love you. I have been in love with you forever, you know that, and it just hurts too much to be around you right now… I can't be here."

"I don't want you to go…" she said as she reached out and grabbed Derek's arm; her heart was beating frantically and the thought of him walking away from her was almost ripping it apart.

"Why…?" he asked and then continued when she didn't answer, "Meredith I cannot just be your booty call, it's not enough."

"Derek… Please?"

"Please what, Meredith? What is it that you want!"

"Damn, it Derek I want you, I have always wanted y- you…" Meredith admitted, beginning to cry.

"Oh, Mer," he sighed as he enveloped her into his arms, "Please don't cry, it's going to be ok."

"How Derek? How w- will it be ok?" she asked as she began to quickly regain control of her tears, "I love my daughter, I can't let her get hurt, Derek. She has been through so much already but I can't just walk away from you now either."

"I know you are thinking of Amelia and that she is your priority but you will do her more damage in the long run if you force her to grow up in a marriage with no love. I promise I would love that little girl like she was my own and I would never interfere with her relationship with her father either."

"I know, Der…"

"Good, we will go at your pace and take this as slowly as you want. We have a while too, Amelia's recovery time in the hospital will be about six weeks as you know … I am willing to do anything you want because I cannot let you walk away from me either."

"But you were just about to walk away from me," Meredith said with a hint of a smirk on her face.

"Do you really believe that?" he asked as he pulled back to look into her eyes.

"No…" she replied and before they both knew it, their mouths were connected in a long drugging kiss, one which was filled with enough passion and emotion to fill the whole room. "I still love you too!" she said as she pulled back and looked into Derek's eyes, her eyes once again glistening with tears.

"So what does this mean?" he asked hopefully.

"It means that I know that I have a choice to make and that there will be a lot of changes in my life, I choose you…" Before Meredith could even finish Derek's mouth was back on hers.

He walked them towards the bed and slowly backed her down onto it, his own body gently following hers. Meredith's hands were wrapped tightly in his hair as usual pulling him as close as humanly possible. Every inch of their naked bodies connected right down to their souls as Derek slipped inside her.

This time the sex was a lot gentler than anything they had experienced recently, it reminded Derek of the first time he had ever entered Meredith, the love which they shared was freely flowing between them. As they slowly worked each other to their peaks, their cries of love for each other rang out loudly into the on call room.

They lay wrapped around each other, their bodies intertwined, and were just about to fall into a peaceful slumber when all of the sudden there was a loud insistent banging on the door, followed by the sound of Cristina's voice which sent shivers down their spines.

**Hmmm so I guess that is my cue to leave...**

**Jen xxxx**


	18. Chapter 18

**Once again thank you to those of you who left reviews after the last chapter, now lets get off of the cliff where the last chapter left off...**

Chapter 18

Meredith and Derek frantically begun throwing their clothes on after hearing Cristina's persistent banging and calling of Meredith's name. Neither were concerned with their post sex appearance, it was obvious that there was a hint of panic in Cristina's voice and there was only one reason both could think of that would cause that panic _Amelia…_

"Oh I should have guessed!" Cristina hissed as soon as Meredith opened the door and she caught sight of Derek. And she was not the only one who was taking in their disheveled appearances, the group of interns nearby, the nurses at the station… including one very pissed off looking scrub nurse, who immediately headed in their direction and made her presence known before either Cristina, Meredith or Derek could even managed to open their mouths.

"What the hell is going on?" Rose demanded.

"Go and find a candy bar to chew on will you!" Cristina hissed.

"Not now Ro…." Derek began but was interrupted by Meredith.

"Cristina is it Lia? What's happened, is she ok?

"Where the hell is your cell phone?" Cristina demanded.

"Urm… It's right here," Meredith said as she pulled it from her pocket and Cristina instantly snatched it from her hands.

"And it's switched off, I had you called and called…"

"I don't understand…" Meredith started to say but trailed off as the memory of Derek pushing his body with force into hers up against the door, flashed through her mind. Her phone was in the front pocket of her jeans, Derek's crushing force would have been enough to power it off. Cristina gave her a knowing look as she turned to Derek.

"And you, where is your pager?"

Derek felt a wave of nausea wash over him as he remembered leaving it on his desk but had no memory of picking it up. "I – I am not on call." He said and he winced at the look that Meredith threw in his direction, the nausea he was feeling doubled in strength.

"Derek do you mind explaining to me what the hell is going on and please tell me that it is not what it looks like?" Rose asked and Cristina immediately rounded on her. During the last 45 minutes she had aged considerably and was not in the mood to deal with the mess Meredith had got herself into or the pathetic nurse. Without any further thought she laid into a verbal assault against her, "Look I have already told you, you candy loving whore to disappear, now is not the time and yes unless you have developed blindness to match that stupidity trait you already have, it is exactly what it looks like…"

Rose threw a look in Derek's direction, seeing that he instantly diverted his eyes away from hers and that he was not going to come to her defense anytime soon she decided that she would leave it for now and walked away.

"Cristina what the hell is going on, is Lia ok?" Meredith knew that a part of her should be panicking, her affair with Derek was out in the open but that was the least of her worries, her only concern at this moment was her daughter.

"Lia had a Grand mal seizure, I had to run a frigging code on her…"

"Oh God…" Meredith cried out as her legs momentarily began to give way, Derek was instantly at her side one hand going to her lower back the other to her elbow to support her.

Meredith instantly stiffened at Derek's touch and pulled away from him. Derek desperately tried to ignore the stabbing feeling in his heart, he had to act as a doctor now, his personal life had to take a back seat. "Is she stable now?"

"Yes thank God, she has been moved to ICU though, Nelson sedated her…" Cristina answered.

"He did wh…" Derek began to ask but it fell on deaf ears as Cristina took after Meredith who had bolted in the direction of the Intensive care unit.

* * *

><p>Meredith entered Amelia's ICU room and went straight to her bedside and picked up her hand, her fingers gently stroking over the much smaller ones. She ignored the Doctor who was in the room, her only focus was her daughter. Seeing Amelia lying on the Bed alive had done nothing to qualm the fear that had grown inside of her, since Cristina announced that she had suffered a seizure. Amelia had been sedated and now had an intubation tube in her throat and was surrounded by machines that Meredith was all too familiar with but seeing her baby hooked up to them was daunting.<p>

"Si- since when did you get so f- fast?" Cristina asked panting as she tried to regain her breath after chasing Meredith.

"God she looks s- so small in the b- bed." Meredith gasped out ignoring Cristina's question.

"Hand me her chart." Derek ordered Dr. Nelson as soon as he entered the room, just as Cristina joined Meredith and put her arm around her shoulder to comfort her.

"Meredith she is ok, she is going to be fine." Cristina said reassuringly.

Meredith snapped out of her trance as the neurosurgeon in her who had spent hours researching the trial reared its head. "What does this mean for the trial Dr. Shepherd?" She asked looking in Derek's direction as she shrugged Cristina's arm off of her shoulder.

Derek was slightly put out by Meredith talking to him so formally. "I am just going over her medicine chart, why has her chart not been updated?" Derek asked turning to Dr. Nelson.

"I- I was just about to urm… get to it Sir, I got caught up running the code with Dr. Yang."

"What did you use to sedate her?" Derek asked taking a breath at the same time.

"Phenobarbital I know from the talks you gave so far on your clinical trial that it is the only sedative that does not increase the risks for the patient."

"That's good," Derek said as he released his breath.

"So that's good right?" Meredith asked in a hopeful tone repeating what Derek had just said.

"Yes it's good." Derek answered briefly making eye contact with her before turning his attention to Cristina. "You were with her when she the seizure started, Dr Yang how many times did you have to shock her before Dr. Nelson arrived?" Derek asked and he didn't miss the way in which Meredith winced.

"Three times." Cristina answered in a gentle tone as tears gathered in her eyes at the memory of the way in which her God daughter's body leapt off of the bed as she held the paddles on her chest as the charge was set off.

"At what charges Dr. Yang? I know this is difficult as you are kind of related to the patient but it is vital."

"I shocked her twice at 100 and then once at 150 and then her heart restarted."

"Is that ok?" Meredith asked in a panicked tone, "She can still have the procedure done right?"

"She can but I am not going to lie to you and say that I am not worried, her heart has gone under a lot of strain…"

"What are you saying?" Meredith demanded, once again she found that she was unable to recall any of her medical knowledge.

"The seizure she suffered today was a big one and her heart has been put under an increased strain, she has an increased risk of suffering a cardiac arrest during the procedure…"

"Oh God…" Meredith gasped out whilst looking down at her daughter.

"Meredith having said that though I believe the risks have only minimally been elevated," Derek moved closer to her and Meredith looked up and their eyes caught.

"I can not lose her…"

"I know… I can do this but we have to bring the surgery forward she is at an increased risk of having another seizure and the next one will more then likely be fatal."

"When?"

"I want to take her in first thing in the morning, I am going to clear my schedule and take her down at 6am."

"Ok. Can you wake her up before you take her into surgery?" Meredith asked in a hopeful tone although she already knew the answer.

"I am sorry but we will need to keep her sedated, waking her up will only put her brain under extra strain now." Derek gently said.

"I know." Meredith said as she wiped away the tears that had fallen from her eyes, "I need to call my Husband." Meredith said as she looked Derek in the eye.

Derek tried to ignore the stabbing feeling that once again filled his heart. He wanted nothing more then to be able to take Meredith into his arms and calm her down. He knew he couldn't do that though he had to remain professional now, he was a surgeon, he had to distance himself. The child who was going to go under his knife in less then ten hours time was a patient not the daughter of the Woman who he thought of as being the love of his life.

* * *

><p>Matt was having a deep peaceful sleep perhaps the most contented he had had in a while. He had been dreaming of Amelia being out of hospital and of her being well. He and Violet had also had a talk last night and he had made up his mind, as soon as he knew Amelia was out of danger he was going to come clean to Meredith about his affair. The thoughts of everything being out in the open, no longer living a double life lifted the weight of the world off of his shoulders. He was suddenly pulled from that calming feeling as he felt Violet shaking his arm.<p>

"Matt wake up it's your phone, Meredith is calling."

Matt instantly sat up and took the phone from her, "Ssh.." He said to Violet before answering, "Mer? What's wrong?"

"It's Lia, Matt she had a massive seizure, the surgery has been moved forward…" Meredith begun but was interrupted.

"When is she having it?" Matt asked in a panicked voice, he may have fallen out of love with Meredith but his feelings towards his daughter had not changed, that little girl was his world.

"Dr Shepherd will perform the surgery at six A.M New York time, in 9 and a half hours now. You have to get back."

"I am taking the first available flight back I will call the airline now but if I can't make it in time before she goes into surgery I want to talk to her on the phone."

Meredith took a deep breath, before saying her next sentence in an attempt to calm her own fears at never being able to hear her daughters voice again. "Matt you can't, they had to sedate Lia during the seizure and they wont be able to bring her around again before surgery, it is just too risky."

"She will be ok though?"

"I hope so, Dr. Shepherd seems to think she still has a good chance."

"Ok. Meredith…?"

"Yeah?"

"Um… I am on my way." Matt said as he hung up the phone. He couldn't help the guilt that was coursing through him. He would never forgive himself if he never got to hear his daughter's voice one last time, all because he had chosen a tryst with Violet as opposed to spending more time with her. Damn they had said a week!

* * *

><p>Meredith took a deep breath as she hung up from the phone call with Matt, tears at once flooded her eyes, she put her phone in her pocket and headed back to Amelia's room.<p>

As soon as she entered the room and took in the site of her daughter, the tears that had formed began to uncontrollably spill and her whole body began to shake. She was overcome with the guilt, she should never have left her and when she thought about what she had been doing as her baby was having surges of electricity jolted through her body a feeling of nausea overwhelmed her. She must have been so scared and she was alone. She made a promise to herself and to God that if Amelia came through the surgery, she would make sure that she never put her own needs before hers again. Although she knew it was going to be difficult and that it was highly likely that Matt would discover her adultery, she was going to let Derek go. She felt as if this was her fault and thought that if she had not entered that on call room with Derek Amelia's condition would not have deteriorated, karma had come back to get her yet again.

Her and Matt would go back to the resemblance of the happy family that they were before Amelia became sick. As much as it hurt her to walk away from Derek again she had to, she had done it once and survived this time she knew she would too, as long as she had her baby she could survive anything.

She walked over to Amelia's bed and bent over to kiss the top of her daughters head. "Mama's so sorry." She whispered before she sat down next to her bed taking her small hand in hers and pressing it against her lips. She was relishing the warm feeling of her hand whilst she could because no matter how much she wanted to believe that Amelia would be ok, there was a chance that she wouldn't be. She began a silent mantra praying to God over and over again to let her be ok whilst her tears streamed in a steady pace down her cheeks.

**Ok so I know that Meredith's decision is not what you want to read but remember she is not thinking very clearly at the minute and is very concerned about her daughter, she is also allowing guilt to eat away at her. There are lots of bumps in this story but I ask you all to trust me and to remember that I am a 100% Merder fan and that everything will be well with our favorite pair eventually...**

**Jen xxx**


	19. Chapter 19

**So Meredith unexpectedly comes face to face with some more people from her past...  
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Chapter 19

Amelia had been taken down to surgery 20 minutes ago. Meredith got the feeling that Derek was avoiding her, he had not come to collect Amelia and she had briefly seen him for a few seconds when she had accompanied Lia to the OR. She gathered it was because he was trying to distance himself from the case. Amelia had to be just another patient to him, he couldn't allow himself to become emotionally involved. Matt was still yet to arrive at the hospital, Meredith had tried calling him several times before Amelia was taken to the OR but all she got was his voicemail.

Cristina had dragged Meredith down to the canteen. Eating was the last thing she wanted to do but you just didn't say no to Cristina. On the way to the canteen Cristina had got a page to the ER. "Damn, I have to take this Mer. I promise it won't take long. I will consult and pass it on. Come with me."

"Ok, guess it will help distract me for a little while and I might be able to show you a thing or two."

"In your dreams! Your specialty is the brain, what could I possibly learn from you?"

"A decent bedside manner for a start."

"There is nothing wrong with my bed side manner."

"You stopped referring to your patients as numbers yet?"

"It's an effective system," Cristina quipped. "Listen, Mer, wait a minute," she said as she took hold of Meredith's elbow and pulled her off to the side by the ER doors.

"What?" Meredith enquired in a puzzled tone.

"I wanted to apologize for last night."

"Are you feeling ok? Cristina Yang apologizing? You must be sick."

"Mer. I was hard on you…" Cristina began but Meredith immediately interrupted.

"No, Cris, I deserved it. I should not have been with Derek…"

"Mer…"

"No, Cris… Look, please, I can't talk about this now…" Meredith pleadingly said.

"Ok," Cristina agreed in a gentle tone as she rubbed Meredith's arm. "Come, show me how I can improve my bedside manner," she laughed heading towards the nurses' station.

"You paged?" Cristina asked upon reaching the nurses' station.

"Yes, exam room 2, 65-year-old woman presenting with breathlessness and chest pain on the left hand side," the charge nurse said to Cristina as she handed her the patient's chart.

"It sounds like we will be out of here sooner than I thought, the old biddy probably overdid it with the grand kids. Hey, you!" Cristina called over an intern. "Patient 2 is going to need a repeat ECG, get the machine for me."

"Now, how is he supposed to know where to take it?" Meredith asked in a puzzled tone.

"Exam room 2, they know the patients are named accordingly to their room numbers," Cristina answered with a smirk.

"You are terrible. Come on, let's get this over with, I need to see if there is any news," Meredith said as they entered the exam room.

"Oh my God! Meredith?" A brown curly haired woman exclaimed as she jumped up from the chair she was sitting on beside the patient who was lying on the gurney.

Meredith's attention was immediately peaked as she looked at the woman, recognition immediately washing over her. "Amy?" she enquired in an equally shocked tone as she looked into the eyes which were exactly the same as Derek's.

"I can't believe you are here!" Amelia said as she pulled Meredith into a hug. "You look exactly the same…"

"I take it you all know each other?" Cristina asked.

"Cristina, this is Amelia, Dr. Shepherd's sister, and this is his Mom, Mrs. Maloney…" Meredith said curtly greeting Derek's Mom with a nod at the same time as introducing her to Cristina.

"Ah, okay," Cristina said stressing out the last word.

"Dr. Shepherd?" Amelia questioned with raised eyebrows but continued when Meredith didn't respond, "So I take it, Derek is aware that you are here. He is so lucky that he is in surgery at the moment, I am so going to kick his ass for not telling me that you were here."

"Meredith, sweetie, how are you doing? And please, call me Carolyn. Are you working here now, Dear?"

"No, Mrs. Maloney, I am not working here. I am here with my daughter, she is having surgery and actually, it is Derek who is conducting that surgery."

"Oh my God," Amelia gasped her tone of voice filled with emotion, "Derek's trial patient is your daughter?"

"Yes."

"You have a daughter, dear? How old is she?" Carolyn asked with a hint of surprise in her voice.

"She is five-years-old."

"And Derek is operating on her?"

"Yes, right now."

"Are you here alone?" Carolyn asked.

"What you really want to know is whether or not my daughter's father is in the picture? The answer to your unasked question, Mrs. Maloney, is yes. My husband is very much in the picture, he is not here at the moment but he will be soon. He was unexpectedly called away."

"You're married, Mer?" Derek's sister asked as she glanced at her left hand.

"Yes."

Carolyn saw guilt wash over Meredith, she assumed maybe it was because she had moved on and she knew that Derek had not but as she knew her son and Meredith only too well she knew it was best not to jump to conclusions. "So, Meredith, dear, how long have you been married?"

Cristina could tell that Meredith was getting more uncomfortable by the second and that the situation was beginning to get awkward, so she decided to step in. "Hi, I am Dr. Yang and I can see you are all having a little reunion here, however, that is not the reason for your visit here. I need to examine you."

"Yes, and I should get going to see if there is any news yet," Meredith said as she looked at Cristina, silently pleading with her for her not to fight her on this.

"You know what," Amelia interrupted. "Ma, why don't you let Dr. Yang examine you and I will go with Meredith and we can have a catch up." Amelia was now confident that her Mother was in fact now fine and had simply overdone it with the gardening, seeing as her pains had long stopped.

Cristina could tell that Meredith was ok with that so she backed Amelia up, "That sounds like a good idea. Mer needs something to eat so canteen first and I will come find you there in a bit."

"Thank you Cristina," Meredith said as she shot her an 'I hate you' look as she left the room.

"Now, that sounds fab and you, Ma, behave," Amelia said as she took Meredith's arm and led her to the door.

"Just a second," Carolyn called out. "Meredith it was lovely to see you dear, can we catch up properly later?" Carolyn asked in a hopeful tone.

"I really don't see that there is a need for that, I hope you get well soon. Goodbye Mrs. Maloney," Meredith replied as she exited the room, her tone void of all emotion.

* * *

><p>"She is sorry, you know," Amelia said as they sat down at a table with their coffees in the canteen.<p>

"That may be, Amelia, but sorry, doesn't change the past and I know that she is your Mom, but I just cannot do this at the minute."

"It's ok, I don't blame you. So… Tell me all about her?"

"Here," Meredith said as she handed Amelia her purse which was opened and revealing a picture of her daughter.

"Oh my God, Mer! She is beautiful, the spitting image of you of course."

"Thank you. Her name is Amelia, you know, we call her Lia for short."

"You kept of your end of the deal?" Amelia asked as a smile beamed across her face.

"Yep I did, I heard you kind of kept it too."

"Der told you about Elizabeth?"

"Yes, I would love to meet her at some point… He also said that you would have fully kept your end of the deal but he asked you not to."

"He was so cut up Mer…"

"I was too."

"You know he never got over you…" Amelia began to say but Meredith interrupted changing the subject, it was a territory she did not want to go into.

"So Sam Bennett?"

"Yes," Amelia said with a giggle. "And don't think I didn't notice what you did there Meredith Grey!"

"What?" Meredith asked as she giggled, "And it's not Grey anymore Amy, it's Carlisle."

"Of course, you are married now. What is your husband's name? What is he like?"

"His name is Matt," Meredith said with a slight frown, she wasn't sure this topic of conversation was much better than the last, "he is a great guy."

"That's great, I am happy for you. What does he do for a living? Where did you meet?"

"He is a lawyer, we met in Seattle a little while after I moved there for college."

"You went to Seattle?"

"Yeah, I moved out from home following my eighteenth birthday."

"So where is your husband?"

"He had to fly back home yesterday to sort out a case. Amelia was not due to have the surgery, he is on his way back, in fact he is probably upstairs," Meredith said as she looked at her watch.

"Mer, why did you not get in touch with me? You were my best friend."

"I know and I am sorry, Amy, I just couldn't. I wanted to so much but the thought of seeing Derek having moved on with someone else, was just too much."

"He didn't…"

"I know that now… He told me."

"Mer, I didn't just lose a best friend back then, I lost my brother too. Derek changed after you left, he just wasn't the same person. It was as if you took him with you and left an empty shell behind."

"I am sorry…" Meredith said as she quickly wiped her eyes.

"Oh, Mer, I am sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, you don't need this at the minute, you have enough to worry about right now."

"It's ok, Amy… I missed you so much."

"I missed you too and when your daughter is better, we will have a proper catch up. Are you living in New York?"

"No, Seattle," Meredith said and as she spoke she felt like her heart was going to break. This didn't go unnoticed by Amelia but she chose to ignore it.

"You came here for the surgery? It must have been odd seeing Der after all this time?"

"That's putting it mildly, I was in total shock when I saw him. I am surprised I didn't go into heart failure when I realized Dr. Shepherd was in fact Derek."

"You didn't realize before coming here?"

"No, I mean I studied the trial but I had never seen a photo or anything of him…"

"No, you know with Daddy being who he is, Der is always reluctant to be photographed."

"I always thought as well that he would have gone into politics, it was what he was studying. So to say I was shocked when he walked into Lia's room is an understatement."

"He changed for you I think, although he would never admit it."

"I know…"

"What are you doing, did you go into medicine?"

"I did, neurosurgery actually. I am the Head of Neuro at Seattle Grace."

"Wow, well done… It must also be so hard for you being a surgeon yourself but not being able to treat your daughter."

"It is... like you wouldn't believe. But I am so relieved that it's Derek operating…"

"He will do his best Mer…" Amelia said gently whilst she covered Meredith's hand with her own.

"I know, I trust him with her life…"

"Wow you two still have that deep connection, don't you?"

"Yeah, we do," Meredith simply said, not admitting just how deep that connection still went.

"So how was it seeing him again?"

"It was... urm…" Meredith didn't get the chance to finish as a female voice nearby suddenly interrupted them.

"You have some nerve, you know that!" Rose hissed as she marched over to the table.

"Excuse me," Amelia said interrupting. "I don't know what your problem is but now is not the time, her daughter is…"

"Oh, I know where her daughter is. It's a shame she wasn't thinking of her last night whilst she was having sex with my boyfriend. Did you make out with all of your daughter's doctors or did you just make an exception for Dr. Shepherd?"

"You and Derek had sex?" Amelia gasped in a shocked voice.

"We did…" Meredith said as she quickly glanced around the canteen whilst wishing at the same time that the ground would open up and swallow her.

"Excuse me, who are you?" Rose asked Amelia. "How do you know my boyfriend?"

"I am Amelia, Derek's sister actually."

"I don't understand," Rose said as she looked between Amelia and Meredith. "What are you doing with her?"

"If you mean her, as in Meredith? She is my best friend and we go back years, she was also the love of my brother's life."

"Well she isn't anymore. Derek is with me."

"Well. I am sorry… What was your name again?" Amelia asked.

"It is Rose."

"Well, that alone should speak volumes for you. I don't even know who you are. Derek has never mentioned you, it hardly sounds like he is serious about you if he has not even bothered to introduce you to his family."

"We have been busy," Rose offered.

"Yeah, Derek has been busy by the sounds of it, he has been busy with Meredith."

"Well, he made a mistake and I just come to tell her to stay away from him, you don't want to cross me," Rose said as turned and walked away whilst Amelia burst into a fit of giggles.

"Meredith, Meredith…" Amelia said shaking her head, "I see you two are still you then."

"Amelia..." Meredith said in a warning tone.

"I know that tone and for now I will leave it but this conversation is not over. Let's just check on Ma then I will come wait with you until my namesake is out of surgery. I also want to see Derbear and question where his head is at… What is he thinking? She looks like a horse," Amelia said as she started laughing.

**So please let me know your opinion and leave a review...**

**Jen xxx**


	20. Chapter 20

**Many thanks to those of you who are commenting frequently on my story, it is a great motivation to continue to write and post on this site. I have just started to post another one of my stories here, Desires.**

**In Desires I am attempting to write Meredith in a way which I have not written or have seen her written before. The fic is AU - Derek is new to Seattle, his path crosses with Meredith who currently desires all of the wrong things in life. Meredith is manipulative and ruthless, and takes no casualties... Will Derek break through her tough exterior or become her latest victim? Here is the link if you would like to check it out .net/s/7203776/1/Desires I hope to see you there.**

**Now back to Second Chances, please remember I am no medical expert, I did do some research for below update but made some of it up too. Hope you enjoy...**

Chapter 20

Derek looked out of the window of the scrub room into the OR as he scrubbed in for the surgery. He meticulously applied the soap and thoroughly began cleaning his hands first, moving up to his wrists before moving on to his lower arms. He was desperately trying to gain perspective as he looked at Meredith's daughter lying heavily sedated on the table. The anesthetist was preparing the anesthetic which would send her into an even deeper sleep.

The difficulty he was having was that it was Meredith's daughter, not just any patient, and he was having real trouble separating the two. He had been doing fine, he had purposely avoided Meredith and the last time he saw her was the night before. He had sent his resident to collect Amelia with the porters and he had been able to gain perspective but that was until he saw her, Meredith, walking down to the OR with Amelia. His eyes had caught hers for just a brief second and he wanted nothing more than to go over to her and scoop her into his arms. He saw not only the look of fear that was deeply embedded into her eyes but also a look of trust. She trusted him with her daughter's life and he only hoped that he would be able to do what she needed him to do. He had done something which no surgeon should ever do; he had promised her that her child would be ok. He had certainly felt a lot more comfortable in making that promise prior to Amelia's last seizure, he only wished that he would still be able to deliver on it.

He took a deep breath, counted to ten and then let it out. He held his hands out in front of him letting go of a sigh of relief when he noticed that his hands had stopped shaking. He had to do this, not just for Meredith but for his trial and for the thousands of people out there who were relying on a cure. That would be his focus through the surgery - finding a cure and getting it right.

Derek took another deep breath as he walked over to the OR doors holding his arms up in the air to ensure he remained sterile.

As he reached his destination, he turned around and walked backwards through the doors, letting go of the breath he was holding as he turned back around to face the awaiting staff in the theatre.

"You ok, Dr. Shepherd?" the scrub nurse asked as she stepped forward to gown him and put his gloves on.

"I am fine, thank you, Molly."

"I have a good feeling about this one, Dr. Shepherd," Molly said. She had been in on all of the clinical trial surgeries, much to the annoyance of Rose. "Would you like your normal music on?"

"I hope you are right and no, I think I will do this one in silence. I need full concentration. That should make you happy, no Clash."

"I have actually come to like the Clash now," Molly said with a smile.

"That's good to know," he said to her with a slight chuckle

before looking in the direction of the anesthetist. "Is everything ready?"

"Yes, Dr. Shepherd, I am ready to administer the anesthetic, waiting for you now for the go ahead."

"How are her vitals?"

"Stable; heartbeat 120, blood pressure 110 over 60. Good intracranial pressure, resting at 11. Temperature 36.5 degrees."

"That is a good set of vitals, go ahead and administer the anesthetic," Derek said as he walked over and looked down at Amelia taking in the appearance of her shaved head and making a mental note to look for a cool scrub cap for her when it was all over. He took his place at the table whilst he waited for the drug to take effect.

"She is under now, Dr. Shepherd, she is all yours."

Derek thanked the anesthetist before continuing on with his normal mantra, "Come on then, people, it's a beautiful day to save a life. Let's get this one right. Boki, hand me a ten blade.

"Right, I am going to open her skull along the hairline at the front, starting at the base of her ear. That will allow us more access should we need to revert to a full craniotomy and open her up."

Derek took in a deep breath once again whilst saying a quick prayer to God and then let it go as he began to pass the scalpel along Amelia's hairline. "I am now peeling back the skin flap so I can get clean access to her skull," he said as he handed the scalpel back.

"Skin flap in correct position, Boki. Can you hand me the surgical drill?" he asked and took the drill from her, at the same time glancing at the monitors. Satisfied that the patient's vitals were all within stable ranges, he continued with the surgery.

"I am now going to drill the burr holes so that I can remove the skull flap." Derek's face was a mask of concentration as he drilled holes into Amelia's skull. He worked at a slightly slower pace than he normally would, he didn't want there to be any slip-ups.

"Ok that's the burr holes done, forceps please," he requested as he handed back the surgical drill. "Skull flap coming out now, the Dura matter looks good," he said to the eagerly listening interns and residents as he breathed a sigh of relief. A surgical dish was placed in front of him and using the forceps he removed the skull flap and placed it into the dish. He would need to re-attach it later.

"Here's the helmet, Dr. Shepherd," Boki said after she moved the surgical dish away from him and handed it off to an intern.

"Thank you… Right, I can now go ahead and immediately place the helmet and why is that, Dr. Marsden?"

"Urm, there has been very little bleeding and the Dura is in a healthy condition."

"That's correct, Dr. Marsden."

"What procedure will I perform next, Dr. Stevens?"

"You will need to insert a microscope through the Dura through to the temporal lobe in order to get a view of the tumor."

"Thank you, Dr. Stevens. Dr. Karev, what is going to be my main concern when passing the microscope?" Derek found that questioning the residents was helping him to remain calm and confident.

"There are a lot of small vessels around the temporal lobe so there is a risk of rupturing one, resulting in a bleed. There is also the chance that the ICP may become elevated."

"Excellent, Dr. Karev, well let's make sure that does not happen, but stand by ready to suction if it does. Boki, can you please pass the microscope." Derek began to pass the microscope through the allocated hole in the helmet passing next through Amelia's dural matter, going through to the Arachnoid layer before passing through the Pia mater, being sure at all times to have Amelia's vitals stringently monitored.

Letting go of a deep breath as he passed the microscope through the temporal lobe and bringing it to its resting place, he announced that it was in place and then glanced at the monitors for himself. Relief flooded through him to see for himself that they had not moved since the surgery had begun. One instrument inserted, two left to go now, he just had to insert the endoscopes into the tumor, placing them directly into either side of it. This bore the exact same risks and he took a deep breath taking one of the endoscopes. He glanced down at Amelia but was relieved when he realized that the added pressure he had been feeling earlier has dissipated, it was a lot easier now she had the helmet on.

"Ok, both endoscopes are now in place," Derek said as he positioned the second one. "Vitals?"

"They are all still in the same position, Dr. Shepherd," one of the residents called out.

"That's good, we will now move her into the led hub for the treatment itself. This is the part where I need to ask all unnecessary staff to leave the OR and finish watching from the gallery. Dr. Karev you can stay, get yourself into a lead gown…."

"That's not fair," Izzie Stevens said interrupting him. "I was supposed to be in on this one, not Alex…"

"Dr. Stevens, are you really going to argue with me about my decision in my OR when I have a five year old child on the table?"

"I am sorry, Dr. Shepherd," Izzie said as she visibly swallowed.

"I should think so too, now vacate my OR… All of you. And Dr. Stevens," Derek call out as Izzie began to follow behind the rest of the staff as they exited the OR. "You leave your personal business and feelings out of my OR. If it happens again, that will be the last time you ever see the inside of my OR or any other OR for that matter."

"Yes sir," Izzie nodded as she walked out wondering just what had Dr. Shepherd so stressed. He was always usually calm in the OR. She had never seen him so worked up and she had been in several of the trial surgeries previously. She had heard the rumors, of course, about him and the patient's mother and judging by his behavior, they were probably true.

Derek desperately tried to regain his composure as his scrub nurse helped him get into the lead gown. He had lost it with one of the residents and that was a first for him. He knew that Karev and Stevens always behaved that way and usually it didn't bother him, he was obviously more tense than he thought. He took his position on the step at the led hub into which Alex pushed the surgical table which Amelia.

"Vitals, Karev?" Derek called out again.

"She is still completely stable, Dr. Shepherd."

He said a quick prayer as he took hold of the first gamma knife from its resting place. He took a deep breath relieved to find that his hands were steady, and began to pass the first gamma knife through the position in the hub, passing the long flexible tubing through the endoscope placing it into the tumor.

With the second gamma knife in place, he said another silent prayer hoping that he had gotten the levels of radiation correct. This was the most dangerous part of the procedure, the stage at which he had lost the majority of his patients.

As soon as he began to steadily release the radiation into the tumor carefully observing the screen, he asked for the vitals to be called out again. He normally didn't request it so often or would usually check himself, however, he did not want to take his eyes away from what he was doing for one second. Upon hearing that she was still stable and that only her heart rate had slightly elevated, which was normal, he began to gain more confidence.

The administering of the radiation was almost at 96% and when the monitors confirmed it had reached 100%, Derek let go of the breath he had been holding for the last ten seconds. He looked towards Dr. Karev and did not even have to ask. Alex told him with a smile plastered on his face that she was completely stable.

So far so good, he carefully removed both gamma knives and stepped down from the hub, just as the scrub nurse returned into the OR and made her way over to remove his led gown.

Derek watched as Amelia was removed from the hub and walked back over to her and retook his position at the table so he could finish up. He was desperately not trying to get his hopes up

but this was the furthest he had ever come and she was still alive with an extremely stable ICP. He removed the rest of the instruments and as he took the helmet off, he couldn't help but smile. It had been a text book procedure, everything he hoped the procedure to be when he was in stages of writing it up. Any bleeding had been minimal and she still remained in a stable condition as the instruments were removed and as the skull flap reattached.

"Dr. Shepherd…" Alex began with a grin as Derek made the last few stitches to Amelia's skin flap.

"Not yet, Dr. Karev, not until she is awake and running around."

"Yes, sir, but you get that it is going to happen, don't you?" Alex asked as Derek began to make the last stitch.

"May…" Derek was just about to answer when the monitors suddenly began to alarm. "What's going on!" he anxiously demanded.

"I- it's her heart , she is going into cardiac arrest," Alex said as he frantically moved to grab the required equipment.

**Would love to know your thoughts on this update...**

**Jen xxx**


	21. Chapter 21

**Once again thank you to those of you who are reviewing and adding story to alerts and favorites, it really is a great motivation to continue to post here. I am a bit nervous about the below update as I attempted to borrow Meredith's out of body experience but make it also my own, with an added twist... I really hope you enjoy.**

Chapter 21

Amelia slowly sat up and opened her eyes; she looked around her as a massive smile took over her face. She was at home in her bedroom, in her own bed. She jumped out of it, loving the fact that she didn't have any wires or her IV stand attached to her. She felt a little confused because she didn't remember leaving the hospital... Her bedroom door opened and Amelia felt a wave of recognition wash over her as she ran to greet her guest.

"Grandma!" she exclaimed as she jumped into the old lady's arms. It was her Daddy's Mom, whom she had not seen for a long time. "I missed you, Mommy and Daddy said you had gone away and that you were not coming back. Daddy was so sad and I was too."

"I missed you too, dear, but I shouldn't be seeing you yet. Lia, sweetie, do you know what is happening?"

Lia did not get the chance to respond right away, her attention was diverted as she heard a dog barking from outside. She rushed to the window. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed excitedly and took off out of her bedroom, down the stairs, and ran out into the backyard. The dog came bounding towards her. "Sookie, you are here too?" Amelia asked as she started to pet the dog just like she had done many times when the dog used to come through the hole in the fence from neighbor's garden to play with her before she had got sick. Amelia looked up with an excited expression on her face as her Grandmother appeared in front of her. "How did you do that, Grandma? You just appeared! You are magic, you need to come to show and tell, please say you will?"

"Lia, honey, do you understand where you are?"

"I am at home, silly, and look, Grandma, it's Sookie. She is the bestest dog in the world."

"I know she is very cute, Lia, but look, we don't have much time."

"She went away too. You know, mommy was right, she did go to you. Mommy said you were looking after her in heaven, have you been looking after her?"

"Yes I have…"

"But hold on, you're not in heaven, we are at home? Is heaven where I live? But how comes I didn't see you or Sookie before?" Amelia asked with a confused frown which quickly disappeared as she spotted a ball in the corner of the garden. She ran and picked it up and then threw it for the dog to catch. Sookie returned it to her. "You are such a good girl," Amelia said as she petted her once again.

"Lia, can you come to me, please we need to talk," her Grandmother said as she sat down on the swinging garden chair.

"Oh, Grandma, can I finish playing with Sookie? I missed her heaps and bundles. You wait till Mommy sees her, she is gonna be so surprised! She said she couldn't come back. Where is Mommy, Grandma?"

"That's what we need to talk about. Come over here so we can have a little talk."

"Ok Grandma," Amelia said as she walked over and climbed into her grandmother's lap on the chair. "I will play with you in a minute, Sookie. I just got to talk to Grandma," she told the dog as it came and sat in front of her.

"Lia, what are you doing here?"

"I live here, Grandma."

"But you shouldn't be here, should you?"

"I don't understand…"

"Oh, sweetie, I know you don't and that's why I am here. I'm here to help you to understand. Where were you before?"

"I can't remember."

"Honey, you need to think. You were away from home with Mommy and Daddy. Where were you?"

"Urm… I know we went on an airplane," Amelia excitedly said.

"And why did you have to go on the airplane? Where were you going to?"

"We were going to a hospital to see a doctor…"

"And why did you have to go to see a doctor, Lia?"

"Coz I had a boo boo in my head, silly, and Mr. Derek was going to fix it?"

"What happened at the hospital, Lia?"

"Urm…" Amelia said whilst she wore a mask of concentration on her face.

"It's ok, sweetie, don't rush it. Let it come slowly…"

"I think I had a seizure. I was with aunt Cristina and I can't remember seeing her after and I have been playing here with my doll's house since."

"You must have been dreaming, honey, because you never left the hospital."

"But I am here now, or unless, Grandma is this a dream? Am I really sleeping?"

"I suppose you can say that, you are kind of dreaming because, honey, you really shouldn't be here."

"You keep on saying that, Grandma… Where should I be? Where is Mommy?"

"Mommy is not here, Lia, she is waiting for you."

"Where? I want to see her…" Lia said, suddenly trailing off as she saw a bright light shining from her bedroom.

"Lia, you need to go back to Mommy…" Amelia's Grandmother began but was interrupted.

"It's the beautiful light again, Grandma."

"You remember the light?"

"I saw it at the hospital, it's magical. It brought me here, I didn't even need to fly on the airplane like Mommy and Daddy had to."

"You can't stay here, Lia, you have to go back to Mommy. I need you to go back to that light…."

"But Grandma, are you and Sookie still going to be there too?"

"No, honey we have to stay here."

"But I want to stay here too, I miss you both."

"Oh, I know but look at Sookie, she is happy here. She looks happy, doesn't she?"

"Yes, but if I stay, she will be happier."

"Maybe, but Amelia, what about Mommy?"

"Can't Mommy come home?"

"Honey, you are not really home. You have crossed over and I see that puzzled frown on your face. I know you really don't understand but I need you to listen to me and try, can you do that for me?"

"Yes, I am a very clever girl, everyone says so."

"Oh, I know you are. I don't know what happened but you were having an operation to remove your boo boo and somehow you left the operation and travelled through the light to come to me. That beautiful light separates the people that have gone to heaven from the people who have not. Do you understand that a little?"

"I think so, so at the moment I have gone to heaven?"

"Kind of, but you shouldn't be here yet and you need to cross back over because Mommy is not here in heaven and she is waiting for you. If you don't go back, you will not see Mommy again for a really long time and she will be really sad. You don't want Mommy to be sad, do you?"

"No," Amelia said as she shook her head. "I want to go back to Mommy. I am going to miss you though, Grandma, you and Sookie."

"You may not see me but remember, I am always with you right in here," she said as she placed her hand over Amelia's heart.

"Ok Grandma, I am ready to go back," Amelia said as she kissed her Grandmother on the cheek; she hugged her and she climbed off of her lap. "Bye Sookie, you be a good dog for Grandma," Amelia said as she petted the dog on the head.

"I will walk you in," her Grandmother said. She took her hand and walked into the house and as they reached the bottom of the stairs, she let go of Amelia's hand and said it was as far as she could go.

Amelia smiled at her Grandma and began to walk back up the stairs towards the bright light that was coming from her bedroom. As she reached the top of the stairs, she heard somebody call her name from behind her on the landing. She knew that voice and she immediately turned around and ran in their direction.

"Daddy!" she excitedly exclaimed as she jumped into his arms.

"Lia," Matt breathed out her name as he held her close to him.

"Daddy, I don't understand. What are you doing here? Did you go through the light too?"

"Yes, Honey I did…"

"Well, Daddy, we have got to go back through it to Mommy. Grandma said she is waiting for me. Grandma and Sookie are here, you know."

"I know, sweetie. Lia you need to be a big girl for me and listen to me, princess…"

"Ok, Daddy, I promise."

"Lia, Daddy cannot come with you…"

"But that means I won't see you when I go back through the light, will I?"

"You are so smart, princess. You are right, you are not going to see me. I need to stay here now with Grandma and you need to go back and look after Mommy. But remember I will always be with you…"

"In my heart just like Grandma and Sookie?"

"Yes, in your heart like Grandma and Sookie."

"But Daddy I want to see you too, if you don't come back, I am not going to have a Daddy anymore."

"Oh Lia you will always have a Daddy. I will be in your heart and I am sure you will get a new Daddy and you need to make sure that Mommy knows that it's ok for her to give you a new Daddy. Can you do that for me?"

Amelia simply nodded her head.

"Oh, princess, I know you are going to miss me but remember, I am always with you. There will not be a second that goes by when I am not there watching over you. And in a lot of years from now you will see me again."

"You promise?"

"I promise, pinky-swear?" Matt asked as he held his little finger up to Amelia.

"Pinky swear," Amelia repeated as she linked her little finger with Matt's.

"Now, honey, you need to go but before that I need to tell you something…"

"Ok Daddy…"

"No matter what happens, you need to remember that you are an extraordinary little girl and that Mommy and Daddy love you lots. I loved you even before I saw you and I loved you more than anyone in the world."

"Even more then Mommy?" Amelia asked with a smile.

"Yes, princess, even more then Mommy. I need you to be strong and brave for me, I don't ever want you to be sad. Will you promise that you will try for me?"

"I promise, Daddy, pinky-swear?" Amelia asked and they pulled on each other's little fingers.

Matt kissed Amelia on the top of her head and walked her towards her bedroom. "Now go and climb onto your bed," he said as he put her back down on the floor. "Remember I am always with you," Matt shouted after her as she ran and jumped back onto her bed going through the light.

"Charge again!" Derek demanded.

"Dr. Shepherd," Alex said in a gentle tone as he walked closer to Derek. "She is gone, she has been down for too long. I thought this one was going to be successful. You were so close, we will get the next one right," he said stopping beside Derek and placing his hand gently on his shoulder.

"It is over when I say it is over, Dr. Karev!" Derek shouted shrugging Alex's hand off of his shoulder. "Now try again! Clear everyone!" The nurse set off the charge and as Amelia's body relaxed back down on the table, the continuous long sound which had been coming out from the machines since Amelia went into cardiac arrest slowed down and began beeping again in singular sounds.

"I don't believe it, we have got her," Alex said in shock.

"Of course we have got her," Derek said as he looked up towards the lights in the operating room and said a quick thank you to God and also a silent prayer hoping that she had not suffered any long-term damage.

* * *

><p><strong>Loved it or hated it please leave me a commentreview. I am going on holiday for 10 days, leaving tomorrow morning and the day after I return I will be going into hospital to have surgery myself so I will not be able to update for a few weeks. The next update is ready so if there is enough interest I can post it tonight... Let me know if you want it now or when I return?**

**Thanks for reading**

**Jen xxxx**


	22. Chapter 22

**Thank you again for the reviews :))))))**

Chapter 22

"Ok, Nancy, I will let her know. I will call you later and tell Mom I will stop by on my way home," Amelia said as she hung up her cell phone and made her way back over to sit on the seat next to Meredith in the waiting room. "Nancy is on the way to pick up Mom and I have managed to keep her at bay for now but she said that she wanted to see you before you go back to Seattle…"

"Ok… Yeah, of course," Meredith said as she stood up and began to pace the room. "It would be good to see her and meet her children… Can't believe she has four now… What is taking so long? She should have been out by now and Matt should have been here," she said glancing at her watch.

"Mer, calm down," Amelia said as she stood and walked over to her, taking both of her hands into hers. "It's a good thing, you know that… Take a deep breath, Derek will be out soon. Look, why don't you try his cell again?"

"Ok," Meredith agreed as Amelia let go of her hands. She took her phone out of her pocket, selected Matt's number and tried to call him again but it went straight to voicemail. Meredith let out a sigh of frustration as she hung up.

"Voicemail again?" Amelia asked.

"Yes..."

"Mer, you don't think he has heard about you and Derek, do you?"

"Oh God, I hope not but I don't think that's why he isn't here. Matt doesn't run from things, he would have been here confronting me. And especially with Lia being in surgery, he would be here for her."

"Maybe his flight got delayed?"

"Maybe… God, I just hate this waiting around."

"I know, Mer, I cannot even imagine what you must be going through but you know if anyone can save her, Der can."

"I know… Look, you must need to get going, what time does Elizabeth get out of school?"

"Don't worry about that, I called Sam. He is going to get Lizzie…"

"Amy, you didn't need to…"

"Look, you would do the same for me. I am not going anywhere, especially not since your friend got called into surgery and your husband is still yet to arrive. I am not leaving you alone," Amelia said firmly as she interrupted Meredith.

"Thank you," Meredith quietly said, smiling weakly.

"There is nothing to thank me for. I am glad I am here and especially as your friend is a surgery junkie," Amelia said as she laughed trying her best to make Meredith relax. "God, she is worst than Nancy… I can't believe she was actually excited by a bus crash… Mer, that's just wrong…" she finished saying whilst shaking her head and giggling at the same time.

"That's Cristina for you," Meredith said smiling as the memories of Cristina doing victory dances over car crash victims flashed through her mind.

"Come on, let's sit back…" Amelia began to say but the door to the waiting room opened suddenly and Derek walked in, slowly taking his scrub cap off.

As soon as Meredith heard movement at the door, she knew it was Derek. She immediately turned around to face him, her eyes instantly searching his for answers. When their eyes met, she let go of the breath she had been holding and collapsed into the nearest chair as relief overtook her entire body. Her head fell into her hands breaking their eye contact.

"Derek?" Amy questioned him as she looked between him and Meredith. She couldn't help but roll her eyes at the fact that they still had the annoying habit of being able to communicate without saying a word.

"Amy?" Derek asked with a puzzled tone. "What are you doing here?"

"There will be enough time for that later and for me to kick your ass for not telling me Mer was here but for now, what's going on? Is my namesake ok?"

At hearing Amelia's words Meredith looked back at him expectantly; she knew that her baby had come through the surgery alive but now she could see something else in Derek's eyes… Hesitancy? He was being hesitant…

"What's wrong, did something go wrong?" Meredith asked as she stood up.

"Everything was going smoothly, there was minimal bleeding and I got the radiation into the tumor. She was stable throughout, however, just as I finished closing up she went into cardiac arrest…"

"Oh no…" Meredith sobbed as she put her hand to her mouth. Amelia was instantly at her side, her arm going around Meredith leading her back to her chair.

"I managed to resuscitate her, Mer, but she was down for a while…"

"How long?" Meredith asked, her eyes heavily glistening with tears.

"Twenty minutes."

"Oh God…"

"Mer…" Derek said as he moved directly in front of her and bent down. He took her hands into his, feeling at once the strong flow of current surging between them. "She has a good ICP and the rest of her vitals are stable. There is every chance that she could be perfectly fine…"

"Has she woken up yet?" Meredith asked when she took her hands from Derek's as if his touch was burning. She did not miss the look of hurt that washed over his face. She instantly felt his pain but there was nothing she could do to ease it, she had made a promise to God that Amelia would come first.

"Not yet… But you know how it is with brain surgery, it could take a while," Derek said as he stood back up whilst trying to ignore the fear which was coursing through his body, the fear that he was being rejected. He was aware that something had changed in her behavior after Amelia seized. All he could do now was hope and pray that Amelia would pull through and that Meredith would not go back on her word, and that she would leave her husband. He desperately wanted to talk to her but he knew now was not the time…

"I need to see her," Meredith demanded, interrupting his thoughts as she looked at him, her eyes pleading with his. He knew she was not just pleading with him to see her daughter, she was also pleading with him to leave the thoughts he had going on in his head alone.

He conceded… "She is just being settled into ICU. I will take you to her shortly…" Derek trailed off saying, glancing around the room as if he was noticing for the first time that someone was missing… He was about to say something when all of their interests were suddenly peaked by a loud voice outside coming from the nurses station.

"Hello, we are looking for a Dr. Carlisle, we were told she would be up here?"

Meredith quickly wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and walked towards the door. Derek and Amelia both followed closely behind her, exchanging glances of curiosity with one another, which only peaked to a higher level once they saw that the voice which was asking for Meredith belonged to that of a policeman.

Just as they all exited the room, they heard another person…

"I told you to wait downstairs…" Cristina's voice boomed from down the corridor.

"What's going on?" Meredith asked as she looked between the police officers and Cristina, walking up to them. She instantly noticed a look in her friend's eyes that chilled her.

"Are you Dr. Carlisle?" one of the officers asked; he had been at the scene and recognized her from the photo pulled out of the wallet he had checked for identification.

"Urm… Yes, now what's going on?" Meredith repeated as she looked back between the police officers and Cristina.

"Look, Ma'am is there somewhere private we can go?" one of the officers asked and looked around.

"There is a waiting room right there," Derek said as he gestured to the room that they had just come out of.

"Can't you just say what you have to say here?" Meredith asked she was starting to get a little agitated.

"Mer, come on… Trust me, this needs to be done in private," Cristina said as she took Meredith's arm and led inside. The police officers as well as Derek and Amelia followed closely behind.

"Look, what is going on?" Meredith asked as soon as they entered the room. "I don't have time for this, my daughter has just gotten out of surgery."

"I'm Detective Lions and this is Detective Jackson, we are from the New York Police Department. You should probably take a seat, Ma'am…"

Meredith knew the tone they were using only too well, it was the tone she adopted herself when she was about to deliver bad news to a family. "Look, I am sorry if I am sounding impatient here… but what is this all about? I really don't need a seat, will you just please tell me what is going on?"

"Mer…" Cristina said gently as she carefully watched Meredith. "Perhaps you should sit down." She knew what news was about to be delivered, she had been downstairs in the emergency room and had certified the time of death herself.

"Look, I don't want to sit. Please, just tell me what is going on?" Meredith now knew what was coming, she could tell that it was indeed bad news just by the look Cristina had in her eyes. She knew that there was only one person whom it could be about and that was the person who was currently missing, the person whom she had been trying to contact for the last few hours.

"Do you know a Matt Carlisle?" the officer asked out of formality.

"Yes, h- he is my husband…" Meredith said as she briefly exchanged looks with Derek and guilt washed over her.

"I am afraid there has been an accident…"

"An accident? What happened…? I don't understand?"

Amelia exchanged looks with both Derek and Cristina and immediately moved to take the empty space at Meredith's other side.

"The vehicle he was traveling in with was hit by a bus, the driver tried to swerve to miss hitting a dog…"

"Oh my God!" Meredith gasped out and her hand flew to her mouth as she broke away from both Cristina and Amelia who both had their hands on her arm, She made her way over to the bin where she began to retch over it. Derek immediately moved over to her and held her hair back as he rubbed along her spine soothingly.

"Is he ok?" Amelia asked.

The officer waited for Meredith to turn back around before he answered the question. "I am very sorry but I am afraid that he was killed on impact."

Meredith gasped out as a ton of emotions hit her at once. The room started to spin and everything suddenly went dark.

* * *

><p><strong>So Matt is a goner, what now? Will be back to update in 2-3 weeks<strong>... **Take care**

**Jen xxx**


	23. Chapter 23

**Thank you for all of your wonderful comments following the last update and apologies for the delay in updating.**

Chapter 23

"What did you say you were doing here again, Amy?" Derek asked as he glanced through the window into the room where Meredith was sleeping after she had been sedated. He hated to see the pain that was etched across her face, he couldn't help but also feel a little put out and it was taking all that it had in him to control the jealous rage which was coursing through him. She was in pain so it obviously meant that her feelings for her husband ran much deeper than he had thought. Her marriage must have been one which was much more than one that had been built just on convenience, as he had believed.

"I didn't…" Amelia began but decided to quit winding up her brother any further after seeing the death glares that he was currently sending her way. "I brought Mom into the ER, Der…"

"What! Is she ok?" Derek looked at her as if he was in an even more bewildered state of mind. He couldn't believe that his mother was in the ER and this was only the first he was hearing about it.

"Calm down, Der, she is ok…"

"If she is ok, then what is she doing in the ER and why am I only learning about it now?"

"You're going to end up in the ER yourself, Derbear, if you don't calm down."

"Amy…" Derek hissed as he clenched his jaw.

"Ok already!" Amy said holding her hands up in attempt to get Derek to back off and calm down, now was certainly not the time to bait him. "Look, she had some chest pain. We thought it was best to get her checked out, it turns out she just overdid it in the garden and with the kids. She is not even here anymore, Nancy came and collected her…"

"Still, Amy, I should have been told…"

"And you would have been but you were in surgery when we arrived. And well, things got a little distracted. I saw Meredith…"

"Oh, I should have guessed, I know what you two are like when you are together. Everyone else ceases to exist."

"Ah so there it is, the reason why you didn't tell me she was here. You wanted her to yourself… You always did where Mer was concerned."

"Her daughter was about to undergo a difficult trial surgery…"

"That's a load of bull, Derek, and you know it!"

"Watch your tone, Amy..." Derek said in a warning tone.

"Why? What are you going to do, hide my dolls? For God's sake, Derek, we are not kids anymore."

"Well, stop acting like one then…"

"Me? I think you should follow your own advice there… I mean, what the hell do you think you were doing?"

"It's none of your business, Amy, keep your nose out, it doesn't concern you."

"Of course it concerns me, she is my best friend…"

"Oh come off it, Amy, you have not seen her for almost twenty years… And I thought I was the one who needed to grow up."

"God, I forgot what an arrogant ass you could be."

"Well, I learned from the best."

"Oh, don't bring Daddy into this, he has nothing to do with the mess you have created."

"You're wrong, he has everything to do with it."

"Derek, I know you like to blame him for a lot of things but you can't pin this one on him…"

"Oh, I can't? If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't be in this mess. We would have been together watching our child getting ready to graduate college and subsequent siblings following in his or her footsteps."

"Oh, Der it's in the past, what happened has happened and nothing will ever be able to take it back. You and Meredith are not who you were and she was in a vulnerable position, Der."

"I know… Hold on… You know?" Derek asked in a shocked tone as if he had only just realized that Amy knew far more about the last few days then he had wanted her to.

"Of course I know," Amelia said shaking her head at him before continuing in a softer tone, she had not seen such turmoil in her brother's eyes since… Well, since Meredith had left him the first time around. "What were you thinking, Der?"

"Well, that's just it, I wasn't… Well, not really. Amy, it may be nearly twenty years but we are still us, I still feel the same way about her now as I did back then."

"I know, Der, but she was married at the time, her husband still very much alive, and you were about to operate on her daughter."

"I didn't take advantage of her, Amy…"

"Der," Amelia said with a sigh. "I am not saying you did but she was hardly in the right frame of mind."

"We couldn't help it on either occasion…"

"You mean you have slept together more than once?"

"Yes…"

"Derek!"

"Look, it wasn't about the sex. I know what you are thinking…"

"No, Derek, quite frankly you having sex is the last thing I wanted to think about. But what does it mean? I mean, Derek… What are you two doing?"

"If you had asked me that last night, I would have been able to answer but now I just don't know. She told me she was leaving her husband, she wanted to start over with me but then Lia seized and now…"

"Her husband is dead, her daughter is lying in a coma in the ICU unit and she is sleeping in a bed having been sedated," Amelia said finishing for him.

"I just hope it doesn't change anything."

"Derek, it changes everything."

"We are still us…"

"Derek, you are not the same people now. You knew each other nineteen years ago, your lives have moved on and she has a child…"

"Amelia, I know this, and I would love her daughter like she was my own, Mer knows that."

"Derek, that little girl, if she wakes up, will learn that she has lost her Daddy. Do you think she will really want another one right now? Do you think Meredith will put her through that?"

"Why are you saying this?"

"Der, you are my brother and although you are an arrogant ass, I do not want to see you hurt. You need to give her time, don't rush her, because the only person on her mind right now is going to be her daughter."

"I can support her, she doesn't have to do it all alone."

"Derek…"

"Look, Amy, I know what I am doing ok?"

"Ok…" Amelia said with a sigh as she admitted defeat. As far as the subject of Meredith was concerned, Derek always closed ranks around himself. "I will let the subject of Meredith go… for now. But seriously, Der, what are you doing with the horse?"

"Excuse me?"

"I met urm… what was her name? Yes, Rose… that's it."

"Oh…"

"Yes, oh… and are you still going to stand there and tell me that you know what you are doing?"

"She was just a bit of fun."

"By the sounds of it though you were being exclusive, well until recently at least."

"Yes, I was."

"Since when have you been exclusive? Do you like her?"

"It's my longest relationship since Meredith and yes, she is a nice person, I could have grown to love her… I think. We actually got along well."

"And what now?"

"I don't know… Amy, please don't give me that look. Yes, things are a mess."

"Are you going to continue seeing her?"

"Not if Meredith is going to give us another shot."

"And what if she doesn't?"

"I am not getting any younger…"

"Derek, God you know I want you to be happy but settling is no way to build a relationship. Besides, how do you know she would even have you back? You do realize that she knows you slept with Meredith, right?"

"Yeah, I know but she has been texting me repeatedly, she still wants me…"

"God, Derek!" Amelia said as she slapped him on the side of his head.

"Ouch, Amy!" Derek exclaimed as he rubbed the side of his head. "What the hell was that for?"

"You are such an arrogant ass! I do not know what either of them sees in you and quite frankly, I do not give a damn about the horse but if you hurt Meredith… I swear your life will not be worth living."

"Come on, Amy, you know I would never intentionally hurt Meredith, she is the love of my life and she always will be."

"Then make sure you treat her like she is. Give her space, Der, and go at her pace and in the meantime whilst you wait, cut that horse lose. Turn her out of the paddock so she can gallop off to greener pastures. She is so not your type."

"Now you know why I never introduced you…" Derek was unable to finish his sentence as his pager started to beep. "It's the ICU… Amelia's awake!" Derek finished saying as he took a glance at Meredith.

"Go Der… I will stay with her. Text me to let me know what's happening…" Amelia shouted after Derek as he took off down the hallway. Amelia took a deep breath as she opened the door to Meredith's room saying a silent prayer that everything would work out for her big brother and for the woman she still considered to be her best friend. She knew the road ahead for them was going to be difficult but she couldn't hope but pray that they would eventually get their happy ending.

**So as always I really do appreciate your opinions so please leave me a review.**

**Jen xxxx**


	24. Chapter 24

**Once again I would like to say a BIG thank you to those of you that are taking the time to comment and I have now changed my settings so that you can now leave a comment without having to log in. If any of you would like a teaser/preview of the next update sent to you please let me know in your comment.**

Chapter 24

When Meredith opened her eyes, she was confused as to where she was. She was feeling incredibly groggy. The first thought which entered her mind was that she was glad to have woken up from the really bad dream she had been trapped in. Her head started to clear as she turned it to the right, catching sight of Derek, who was sleeping in the armchair in her room… her hospital room.

Suddenly, she realized with swift clarity that it wasn't a bad dream. The memories came flooding back; she remembered the police officers, waking in Derek's arms, the uncontrollable crying and the panic attack and lastly, the sting in her thigh as Cristina sedated her. Matt was dead, her baby's father was dead, the husband whom she had betrayed was dead… But her baby was alive. She couldn't help the sob that escaped from her, which instantly woke Derek. In a flash, he was by her bedside and taking her into his arms.

"Baby, it's alright, you're ok… I'm here."

"A – Am... Amelia?" Meredith stuttered out and Derek knew it was a question, she wanted to know how her daughter was.

"Oh Mer…" Derek said as he hugged her tighter, "she is perfect, Mer, she woke a few hours ago. The code didn't do any damage to her brain function. She is talking and she was asking for you, her tumor has almost completely disappeared…"

Meredith started to sob louder; she knew partly it was from the overwhelming relief she felt at learning Amelia was ok and the other part was because of her pact with God which she made. She had promised that had Amelia survived she would always put her needs first. Which meant she had to end things with Derek… She took a deep breath trying to gather the strength she needed to push him away from her. She placed her hands in between them against his chest and gently pushed against him, causing him to back slightly away from her, but not letting go completely as he moved his hands to her shoulders and maintained a gentle grip on them.

"Mer, please, don't push me away," he pleaded with her as he tried to look into her eyes.

"Der, please, you have to go…" she said as she looked at the floor deliberately avoiding eye contact with him.

"I am not going anywhere," Derek said taking his hands from her shoulders and cupping her face as he forced her to look up at him. He wiped the tears that were falling from her eyes with the pads of his thumbs. "I love you and I am not leaving you, we are in this together…"

Meredith took a deep breath as she desperately tried not to succumb to his words. "No, we are not, that's where you're wrong…" Meredith gripped his wrists and pried his hands from her face. Standing up she walked away from him. She needed to put some physical space between them.

"Mer, don't do this…"

"Don't do what, Derek? How can we be in this together? You are not the one who was married, whose daughter has just had a life saving surgery carried out. My husband is dead and I nearly lost my daughter…"

"And it's thanks to me that you didn't and as for your husband, you were leaving him…"

"You asshole!" Meredith angrily hissed as she made her way towards the door. Derek, however, beat her to it and blocked her exit.

"Mer, I am sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out like that," Derek pleaded, placing his hands on Meredith's arms, which she immediately shrugged off.

"Move out of my way."

"I am not moving," Derek said as he folded his arms across his chest.

"For God's sake, Derek, you are not five years old! I want to see my daughter, now will you just get out of my way."

"Not until we sort this out."

"Don't you get it? There is nothing to sort out… Please don't make this any harder than it has to be."

"It doesn't have to be hard at all, I don't understand what has changed? Just over 24 hours ago we were planning a life together and now…"

"Now I am being realistic," Meredith interrupted, placing her hands on her hips. "Derek, what happened between us was a mistake…"

"No, we are not having this conversation again, how can you say that? I still feel exactly the same away about you as I did nineteen years ago and when we made love the connection was the same and I know you felt it too…"

"Maybe…" Meredith admitted, "but it really doesn't change anything. Derek, I can't be with you, nothing good comes from when we are together."

"What are you talking about? You are not making any sense…" Derek shook his head trying to take in what she was saying and desperately trying to master the words to make her come around.

"I committed adultery and look what happened to Lia, and now Matt is d- dead…"

"Meredith, I know you are feeling guilty but none of those things is your fault. God would not inflict such cruel karma. Lia was sick, suffering from an illness that was beyond your control and not one which you could have done anything to prevent. Matt was in a terrible accident…"

"I betrayed him, Derek, I betrayed my daughter," Meredith paused as she wiped the fresh tears which were cascading down her cheeks. "Lia is going to ask for her father and I am going to have to tell her that he is dead. She has been through so much and now this. I am sorry if you don't understand… I just… I c- can't…"

"Mer…" Derek interrupted her, taking a step towards her as he once again tried to embrace her into his arms. "You don't have to do this alone…"

"Der, no…" she said as she shook her head and placed her hands flat against Derek's chest to keep a physical distance between them. She was craving his strong body against hers, she needed him, but for the sake of Lia and her promise to God she couldn't allow herself to submit. "I do, because I have to put Lia first…"

"I get that, I do," Derek sighed as he frustratingly run his hands through his hair. "I totally support putting her first, I want to put her first too. Mer I adore her… God, I have not known her that long but I have fallen in love with her, she is a part of you and I love her as if she was my daughter…"

"But that's just it, Derek, she isn't your child, our child is dead. Her father is dead. Do you just expect me to just say to her: Lia honey your Dad is dead but don't worry, I have a new one for you?"

"No, of course not, I know she will need time and I am prepared to give her as much time as she needs. We don't have to tell her anything yet, Mer… We can keep it between us, I will just continue to be her Mr. Derek… Meredith, please?"

There was nothing she wanted more in the world, at the moment, than to agree with him. "I'm sorry, I need to focus all my energy on my daughter. I also have a funeral I have to plan. Please, let me go, Der, I just want to see my baby."

"Ok, for now…" Derek conceded as he took a step to the side, moving out of her way. He grabbed Meredith's arm as she went to walk out of the door, bringing her to a halt directly in front of him. "I love you, I am letting you go for the minute but not forever. You take all the space and time you need… I am not going anywhere," Derek said as he leaned forward and placed a quick chaste kiss to her lips. "I have waited nineteen years for you, more time won't hurt me." He gave her a brief smile as he let go of her arm. He watched her walk away and took a deep breath as he said a silent prayer, praying that time was all that she needed… If he lost her again, he really didn't know how he would go on in the world…

"There you are…"

A voice came from behind him in the opposite direction to which he was facing. _Rose… _she was the last person he needed to see right now… "Look, I can't do this right now," Derek said as he turned around to face her.

"No, Derek we are doing this now…. You owe me. I am your girlfriend, I at least deserve an explanation."

"I am sorry, I never meant to hurt you, but we are over."

"Excuse me?"

"It was fun whilst it lasted…"

"Fun, it was more than fun… I love you…"

"I am sorry, Rose, but I don't love you, I never have…"

"This is because of your patient's mother, isn't it? We have something special, Derek, and I know that a week ago you were falling in love with me. I know you cheated on me but I forgive you."

"Rose, I am sorry but you are a wonderful person and you deserve someone who loves you back in the same way which you love them. Meredith and I we have a history together, she is the only woman that I will ever love."

"Derek, that is nonsense! I want you and I don't mind if you don't love me right now, you can grow to love me."

"Please, Rose, I have had a stressful few days…"

"And whose fault is that? Meredith's, that's who is to blame."

"You don't know what you are talking about…"

"She is playing you, Derek, and you are just too stupid to see it. From what I hear though her husband is dead, she doesn't need to use you as an excuse to leave him now."

Derek began to get visibly pissed off so he decided to walk away before he did something which he regretted. However, before he had the chance to walk off, Rose, sensing what he was about to do, grabbed hold of his arm.

"Oh no, you don't, I have something for you…" Rose said as she handed him a sonogram picture, "You are not walking away from me and you are most certainly not walking away from our baby."

Derek suddenly felt his head spin and an overwhelming tightness in his chest as he looked down at the sonogram in his hands. He looked at Rose's name on the sonogram, the words 'baby Shepherd' printed across the top and then down to the picture of what he was guessing was a four week old embryo, his baby.

**So I guess it is time for me to hide? Verdicts please lol and remember **If any of you would like a teaser/preview of the next update sent to you please let me know in your comment.****

**Jen xxxx**


	25. Chapter 25

**Once again THANK YOU to everyone who commented following the last update. Jessica I am sorry that I was unable to send you a teaser, you left a comment without logging in, therefore I could not PM it to you :((. **

**So the update below doesn't get you off of the cliff I left you on following the last update but I promise that is coming real soon and you will discover exactly what Rose is up to ; )**

**Without further ado new update below and once again if you would like a teaser from the next update please let me know in your comment. Enjoy...**

Chapter 25

"And just what do you think you are doing out of bed?"

Meredith was startled by a voice that came from behind her as she stood looking through the window into Lia's room, watching her as she slept. "Dr. Webber," a small smile graced her face and turned briefly to look at him. "I'm ok, I needed to see her…"

"Meredith, you need to take care of yourself as well, today has been an emotional day for you. And are you sure that the sedative you were given has fully worn off?"

"It has and I am ok I just need my little girl."

"Derek says that she is doing well."

"I have not seen her awake yet, but he said the latest MRI scan showed the tumor has almost gone."

"It's a miracle… Have you decided how you are going to tell her…?"

He didn't have to continue as Meredith knew what he was referring to. "I keep going over it in my mind again and again trying to find the right words… you know?" Meredith paused as she wiped away the tears from her eyes before they had the chance to fall. "I mean, how do you tell a 5 year old who has already been through so much that her Daddy is dead?"

Richard moved in closer to Meredith and put an arm around her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. "Has she ever known anyone who has died before?"

"Yes, urm… Matt's Mom passed away, she was really close to her too."

"That's good," Richard said nodding his head, which prompted Meredith to look up at him, questioning him with raised eyebrows. "I mean not that she is dead of course. I mean it's good that she already knows a little about death, it makes it just that little bit easier."

"I guess, I just wish I didn't have to do it…"

"I know… Meredith?" Richard thought carefully as he tried to find the correct words for the next question he wanted to ask.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"I know that you have a lot to deal with right now, but have you thought about what you are going to do once Lia is ready to be discharged?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to go back to Seattle?"

"I don't know, our home is there…"

"But your friends and family are here…"

"What about my job?"

"Well, I have a solution for you, or rather a proposal. I need another head of Neurosurgery here…"

"What about Derek?" Meredith asked; the confusion was evident across her features.

"Derek's not going anywhere, with the trial about to take off now, he is going to be to tied up. I need another Neurosurgeon to take over the day running of the department and I think that you will be perfect for that role. And also with the ground breaking trial you conducted yourself, you will be a true asset to this hospital."

"Does Derek know about this?"

"I have not mentioned it yet, but come on, it's not as if he is going to object, is it?" he said with a chuckle.

"Maybe not, but I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing at the moment…"

"You will work it out, kiddo…" Richard reassuringly squeezed her shoulder. "And speaking of Kiddo's, Lia's awake…" A huge smile graced his face.

Meredith felt her heart skip a beat as she glanced at her daughter, watching as she sleepily stretched both arms. She couldn't help the tears of happiness that sprang to her eyes, because part of her had begun to prepare for the fact that she would never see her daughter's smiling face again.

"Take it slowly and follow your instinct, you're an amazing Mother and you are what she needs," Richard said as Meredith started to open the door.

"Thank you!" Meredith said with a small smile as she silently prepared herself for the task ahead. "And, Richard, I will think about it…"

* * *

><p>"Mama!" Lia excitedly exclaimed as soon as she heard the door open and saw her Mother step into the room. "You're awake, Aunt Cristina said you were sleeping, I missed you."<p>

"Oh baby, I missed you too," Meredith enveloped Lia into her arms breathing in her scent, which surprisingly was still uniquely her despite being in the hospital. "How are you feeling, sweetie?"

"My head is a little sore but Mr. Derek said it won't last long and that he fixed my boo boo so I can do normal kids stuff now. He is a clever man, isn't he? But don't worry, Mommy, you are still the bestest doctor."

"Why, thank you, Lia." Meredith kissed her on the head as tears of happiness and sheer relief gathered once again in her eyes. It was nothing short of a miracle to see Lia behaving how she was. It was a well known fact that children always bounced back a lot more quickly, but her progress so far was outstanding.

Lia pulled back and looked at her mother, reaching up to gently wipe away a tear that had escaped from her eye. "Mama, what's wrong?" she questioned. "You don't need to be sad anymore. Mr. Derek says that am not going to have those nasty seizures anymore, I am better."

"Oh honey, I am crying happy tears right now, I am just so happy that you are better."

"Oh that's good because I need to look after you now and you are not allowed to be sad. Grandma and Daddy told me that I had to be a big girl now and take care of you."

"W- what was that Lia?" Meredith asked in a confused state.

"I saw Grandma and Daddy, oh and Sookie too, when I went home. I played with Sookie for a bit and I had a talk with Grandma, she told me that I weren't opposed to be there though and that I needed to come back here to you coz you would be sad."

Meredith continued to listen to Amelia ramble on, desperately trying to make sense of what she was saying. She had heard plenty of patients describe afterlife experiences but as a doctor you are trained to think that there is a scientific explanation. But as her daughter continued she began to question that belief.

"Grandma was bringing me back to you Mommy, there was a magical light, I didn't even have to take the airplane to come back. Then I saw Daddy, he said that he had to stay to look after Grandma and that he wouldn't be able to come back with us. He told me that he loved me lots and that I needed to be a brave girl. I really won't see him again for a long time, will I Mommy?"

"Oh sweetie," Meredith sat on the bed and enveloped her into her arms again as the tears cascaded uncontrollably down her face. "I'm really sorry but no, it's going to be just you and me from now on kiddo…"

"Nu huh," Lia said pulling back from Meredith and looking up at her face, a little frown immediately crossing her features. "Mommy, I had to make Daddy pinky swears, one was that we couldn't be sad. Daddy is always with us in our hearts even if we cannot see him. So no being sad Mommy!" Lia scolded, and Meredith couldn't help but giggle at the seriousness on her face. "And you need to find me a new Daddy."

If Meredith was shocked before, Lia's last declaration sent her level of surprise to new levels. She was completely flabbergasted and couldn't even begin to find a way to respond to her.

Lia continued as Meredith remained silent. "I pinky sweared to Daddy that I would give you his message, he said that it was ok for you to give me a new Daddy. I really need a new Daddy, Mommy, and I know… how about Mr. Derek? I really like him and he doesn't already have any kids, so he needs some."

Just when she thought her daughter couldn't shock her anymore, she was definitely mistaken. She also couldn't deny that although she still felt immensely guilty about betraying Matt, she felt a wave of happiness surge through her. Maybe the gods really were on her side for once. She made a pact with God to always put Lia's needs first and Lia just told her that she needed a new father so maybe her and Derek would get their happy ever after, after all.

"Mommy, that's better! You're happy, Daddy will be pleased with me. I did a good job, right?"

"Yes, honey, you did a good job." Meredith kissed her again on the top of her head as Lia let out a massive yawn. "And I think it's past somebody's bed time, don't you think?" Meredith slipped out of the bed and helped Lia scoot down so that she could get into a comfortable position to be able to sleep, whilst she tucked her covers around her.

"I am sleeeepy!" she declared around another yawn.

Meredith smiled down at her whilst gently brushing her hand over her arm. Lia was asleep within a matter of seconds. The door quietly opening behind her caused her to turn around. "Sssh…" she said as she held her finger to her mouth to indicate that her visitor should remain quiet. She walked over to the door and gestured that they should move outside whilst she whispered that Lia had just gone to sleep.

"Hey, I called the ward and the nurses said that you were awake, how are you holding up?" Amelia asked.

"I'm ok, surprisingly, really ok."

"That's good, Der said that Lia is doing really well."

"She is, it's amazing…"

"Mer…" Amelia interrupted but then briefly hesitated before continuing. "Have you told her about her Dad yet?"

"I didn't have to, she already knew…"

"You mean someone else told her? I swear I will kill the nurses if she overheard through gossip…"

"Amy, calm down, she never heard from gossip, apparently she had some sort of afterlife experience, she saw Matt."

"You hear a lot about it, I know it's harder for you to believe it being a Doctor but I believe it."

"Lia certainly made me question my belief, science really doesn't hold all of the answers. There is no way that she could have known about Matt." Meredith suddenly giggled as she remembered Lia's request for a new Daddy.

"Urm Mer I am glad you are ok but has that sedative made you a little high?"

"Huh… What are you talking about?"

"You're not exactly behaving normally, we are talking about your dead husband and you're giggling when earlier you had to be sedated?"

"Oh I am not giggling about Matt being dead." A wave of sadness washed over her but she continued, "I was thinking about something Lia said. You know she said that Matt told her that I needed to find her a new Daddy, she then asked if Mr. Derek could be her new Daddy. She said he needed kids."

Amelia giggled, "Well, I guess that solves a lot of your concerns and you know that Derek would be more than happy to fill that role."

"I know."

"What are you going to do, Mer?"

"I don't know. I need to plan Matt's funeral first and work through some stuff. Derek said that he would wait for me, and for Lia. And Dr. Webber offered me a job here. I think I will take it and then take things slowly with Derek and see what happens."

"Oh Mer!" Amelia excitedly exclaimed as she flung her arms around Meredith. "Welcome home."

**So loving it or hating it please leave a review/comment and let me know, also remember to let me know if you would like a teaser from the next update sent to you.**

**Jen xxx**


	26. Chapter 26

**Once again thank you for all of the comments, I am sorry if some of you didn't get a teaser, I didn't get an email notification of all the reviews and as I was coming on here to post an update I thought there was no point in sending the teaser now.**

**The update below hopefully will answer some questions lol, hope you enjoy...**

Chapter 26

It had been three days now since Derek had discovered that he was going to be a father and three days since his last conversation with Meredith. He had only been going to see Lia when he knew that she had popped out to get something to eat or to shower. Lia was doing well and her care now could be left to one of his experienced fellows; in fact, if it was any other patient, he would have stepped back a bit immediately after the surgery. Derek was avoiding Meredith, he was at a loss as to what to say to her and with the situation he found himself in. He just didn't know what to do for the best.

He felt guilty because he knew that today was the day that Meredith would be attending Matt's funeral, she had flown back to Seattle. He should have offered her some words of support but then again, she had asked for space.

Derek was now stood on the maternity floor with Rose waiting for their appointment, he had insisted on seeing the scan of his baby for himself. He and Rose had yet to have a proper conversation as to where the future stood exactly for the two of them as a couple, and it wasn't for the lack of Rose trying. "How long did Dr. Montgomery say that she was going to be?"

"She will be here soon, Derek. You know it's lucky that Addison is a good friend of mine or we wouldn't have gotten an appointment so quickly. She is squeezing us in as it is, you know how in demand she is."

"I guess."

"Hey, Rose, I am ready for you now," Addison's voice came from behind them. "Dr. Shepherd." She nodded in greeting. She didn't know Derek that well. Their paths had yet to cross professionally since her recent transfer to the hospital. She had met him briefly when she had gone out for drinks one evening with Rose, her old childhood friend.

"Dr. Montgomery." Derek returned in greeting. "Thank you for agreeing to see us so quickly, I know that you are busy.

"That's ok, it's not a problem. Now, I think, Rose, I would like to conduct an internal exam on you first…"

"Is that really necessary at this stage in pregnancy?" Derek asked.

"It is when the mother has a history of early vaginal bleeding," Addison answered as Derek turned to Rose.

"You had some bleeding? You didn't say anything."

"I didn't want to worry you and Addison said everything should be fine…"

"And yes, it will be fine," Addison interjected, "as long as she remains stress free and takes it easy. It is vital for the progression of the pregnancy and for the sake of your baby, Dr. Shepherd, that Rose remains stress free, especially from emotional stress."

And there it was, his choice was made for him. Walk away from Rose and risk causing her to miscarry, another child of his gone, he couldn't do it. As much as it was going to kill him inside to walk away from Meredith and stay with Rose, he had to do it, at least whilst she was carrying the baby. "I hear you loud and clear. So um… should I wait here?"

"Yes, please honey, if you don't mind… It's a little personal, you know?"

"Yeah, of course, I will wait right here. I think I saw a fishing magazine around here anyway."

"Great, now that's decided, come on, Rose. I will call reception to let them know when to send you in to see your baby."

"Thanks." Derek took a seat by the coffee table and picked up a magazine thinking that this should be the happiest day of his life. He was about to see his unborn child, only it was the wrong woman who was carrying it. _"Why did life have to be so God damn complicated._ " He thought to himself.

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><p>"You're positive he is not going to get suspicious?" Rose asked once inside the room.<p>

"Of course he is not. Here, let me briefly show you the recording I made. I had the patient whose sonogram picture I altered come in for an ultrasound and I made two recordings, one with her name on and one with yours. At this stage there is not really much to see, I recorded over 10 minutes but I will only scan you for a maximum of five, I will take some new sonogram pictures from the recording for him too."

"That's good, he will like that."

"Rose, relax it's going to be fine, I have watched the video again to remind me which direction to hold the probe. I am afraid it will have to be an internal scan though."

"That's ok, I will do whatever it takes to keep him and I can't thank you enough for helping me."

"That's ok, I owe you. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even be here today and you deserve not to have some high and mighty tramp waltz in and steal your man. And the fact that she happens to be an enemy of mine is all the better. Now how is it going on your side? Have you managed to get him to have unprotected sex with you yet?"

"No, not yet, he is pathetic. I mean seriously, what does she have?"

"God knows, I know I do not see it myself. The fertility drugs that I have given you will ensure that your fertility is boosted. There will be an egg waiting, you just need to get him to make the deposit. And I guarantee after the scan he will be at his most vulnerable. So step up the action on your side, after he has seen his baby," Addison said whilst making quotation marks in the air with her fingers. "There is no way he will refuse the mother of his child. He is going to be in the correct emotional state."

"I hope so…"

"Trust me, Rose, he will. Shall we get the show on the road? The sooner we are out of here, the quicker you can get on with the baby making. I will call reception now and get him sent in."

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><p>It had been a long emotional day and now all Meredith wanted to do was get back to Lia. She stood in the terminal building looking at the screen, waiting for it to indicate that her check in desk had opened. She had arrived early at the airport after finding it difficult to remain at her husband's wake. The funeral service had been beautiful but Meredith couldn't help but feel guilty playing the part of the grieving widow. Sure she was grieving for Matt, but not in the way a devoted wife should. It was almost unbearable as guest after guest offered their condolences. After what she had done, she didn't deserve any of their sympathy and felt like nothing but a fraud the entire day.<p>

She had committed adultery when Matt had shown nothing but love towards her. She betrayed their vows and everything their marriage stood for, if anyone deserved condolences it was Matt himself for being married to a cheating whore. She didn't deserve to be happy now and was even doubting her decision to stay in New York with Lia. Perhaps she should come back to Seattle and suffer, as punishment for her cheating. She suddenly became aware that somebody was staring at her and as she turned around, her eyes clashed with Violet's, Matt's secretary. _"__W__hat was she doing here?"_ She thought to herself.

"Mrs. Carlisle…"

Meredith frowned at her. "Since when have you started calling me Mrs. Carlisle, Violet? You know I have always insisted that you called me Meredith. After all, when did you even call Matt Mr. Carlisle when there was not a client around?"

"I- I um…" Violet began to stutter and looked visibly distressed when Matt's name was mentioned.

Meredith thought it was only natural; she had worked with him a long time, his death was bound to be a shock to her. "It's ok, Violet, what are you doing here, are you going away?"

"No, I actually came here to see you, I knew your flight was not due yet. Could we talk? The coffee shop over there looks quiet." Violet nodded in the direction of a nearby coffee shop.

"Sure," Meredith said looking puzzled as she led the way over to the coffee shop and ordered two cappuccinos.

"This isn't easy," Violet said as they both sat down. "And I am not sure why I am bringing this up now…"

"Look, Violet, if it's about your job, I will give you a strong recommendation…"

"No, it's not that…"

"Then what is it?" Meredith was trying her best to decipher Violet's behavior, she was acting incredibly nervous and for the life of her, she couldn't work out what she would have to be nervous about… Unless…?"

"I am really sorry, Meredith, we didn't mean for it to happen…"

"How long?" Meredith instantly knew what Violet was apologizing for.

"You have to believe me neither of us wanted to hurt you and especially not Lia…"

"I asked how long you were sleeping with my husband?" Meredith interrupted her.

"Two years," Violet nervously answered.

"Two years?" Meredith repeated before she burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

Violet looked cautiously at Meredith, she had tried to imagine how Meredith was going to react, but bursting into laughter was not a reaction she had expected. She was suspecting that the laughter would lead onto something else though.

"I have been feeling so guilty for recently sleeping with Derek and you two have been carrying on a full blown affair behind my back for two whole years?"

"Derek?" Violet questioned in a confused tone. "Who is Derek?"

"If you must know, Derek is the love of my life. We were together when we were younger but we were forced apart by our parents when I was sixteen. I had not seen him in almost twenty years but it turned out he was Lia's doctor."

"I don't understand."

"We slept together and I felt so guilty as soon as Matt returned to Seattle from his urgent business trip." Just for a brief second Meredith didn't see the instant look of guilt which passed over Violet's face and she continued. "I was going to tell him about Derek… Wait a second, it was you, you called him for the urgent matter…There was no urgent situation with a client, was there? He flew back to see you. Was he in your bed when I called with news of Lia?"

"Meredith…"

"I knew it, God I cannot believe I was so stupid."

"We didn't mean to… We just couldn't help it…"

"No, Derek and I couldn't help it, we had a long history together that went back years and years. You and Matt had a cheap little fling and you took him away from his daughter."

"I loved Matt, if it hadn't been for Lia getting sick, he would have told you sooner. He was leaving you but he didn't want to hurt Lia."

"Sure he didn't. God I have been such an idiot, all the late nights, missed ballet recitals. He was with you and he left his daughter's sick bed whilst she was suffering with a life threatening condition, to fly back to have a booty call with you. God and I thought his death was my bad karma, when it was his own."

"How can you say that?" Violet asked as tears started to spill down her cheeks.

"That's it, you go ahead and cry because you have no one to blame but yourself, it's your fault that he is dead. If you had been able to control your sexual urges, he would have been at the hospital by his daughter's bedside where he belonged. He would never have been driving back to the hospital." Violet was now openly sobbing as Meredith stood up. "That's it, you cry harder because thanks to you my daughter no longer has her Dad and I certainly know that I have wasted enough tears over him," she finished saying before she walked away leaving Violet alone violently sobbing in the coffee shop.

As Meredith continued to walk away, she tried to gain control of the mixed emotions that were surging through her as she started to question her entire marriage to Matt, particularly the last two years. She felt a mixture of feelings that ranged from anger to hurt, betrayal to relief. Things though seemed a lot clearer to her than they had in a long time and one thing for certain was that she would be staying in New York. Her conscience was now clear and the last emotion that was keeping her from going to Derek, the guilt she was feeling over Matt, had been erased. She was free, they were now free to build their lives as they should have done nineteen years ago.

Or so she thought…

**Would love to hear your thoughts... If you would also like a teaser from the next update please let me know.**

**Jen xxx**


	27. Chapter 27

**Apologies for the delay in updating. Thank you to everyone who commented.**

**A new character enters the equation...**

Chapter 27

It had been three days since Matt's funeral and Meredith was still in shock at the discovery that he had been having an affair for the last two years. She had desperately wanted to talk to someone about it. Cristina was in Boston at a conference, Amy had gone away for the weekend to visit her husbands parents as it was his Mother's birthday and Derek? Derek she heard from Richard had taken a few days personal leave. She could have called him but she assumed that he just needed some space, she had asked him for that and he had obliged so the least she could do was the same.

He was going to be back today though and she would get the chance to talk to him, after she had surprised him first of course. She had told Richard first thing on her return that she was accepting the job offer and two days ago she signed her contract.

Richard had organized a staff meeting with all of the Attending's so that she and another new Doctor who was joining the staff could be introduced to them. She was looking forward to seeing Derek's face when Richard announced that she would be joining the staff. She wouldn't be starting full time for a few more weeks yet, until Lia had been discharged but she would be able to take a few cases whilst Lia attended the hospital school, now that she had been moved to a regular children's ward.

Lia had just been collected for the school and she glanced at her watch, if she didn't hurry up she was going to be late for her own introduction.

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><p>It had been three days since Derek had seen the scan of his baby and three days since he had stepped foot in the hospital after asking the chief for a few days of personal leave, he was well over due for some days off anyway. Rose had also taken some time off and he had spent the last two days with her and they had done nothing but talked, which was much to her disappointment it seemed. This surprised Derek as he had seen his sisters during early pregnancy and the last thing they wanted at that stage was sex. However Rose seemed to be having a relative easy pregnancy, apart from the odd bout of nausea that she reported she hadn't actually suffered with any physical sickness yet. Some cravings had already kicked in though and she was apparently feeling incredibly horny, she was trying to jump him at any given opportunity. He felt a little bad that he was unable to satisfy that particular craving as yet, although he and Meredith were not actually together it felt like he would be betraying her if he slept with Rose. He felt bad enough just from the few brief chaste kisses that they had shared. But it wasn't just that, he couldn't actually bring himself to have sex with her, he wanted Meredith and all he could picture was Meredith's face, all he could smell was the strong scent of lavender that was Meredith.<p>

It wouldn't be fair to Rose to have sex with her when he was feeling that way. He wanted to talk to Meredith first and explain to her what was going on, he was sure that if anyone would understand that he couldn't just walk away from his child it would be her. The second that Dr. Montgomery had mentioned that any emotional stress could cause Rose to lose their baby he knew he had to stay with her if their baby was to stand a fighting chance and besides his child deserved the chance to grow up in a proper family, one home with one Mum and one Dad. He and Rose had been getting along really well before Meredith had come back into his life and he could have fallen in love with her. In approximately four weeks time Amelia would be ready to be discharged from the hospital and Meredith would be returning to Seattle. Derek knew it was going be a long time before he learned to live without her again and that it would be difficult to be able to move on completely with someone else but the fact that he would not have to see her every day made it that little bit easier.

He desperately wanted to talk to Meredith, he had practically begged Rose to keep quiet about the pregnancy until he had had the chance to tell Meredith himself. She had reluctantly agreed but pointed out that he had better do it soon as for all she knew rumors were already circulating, she had labs done .

If it had not been for this stupid meeting which Richard had called he would be telling her right now. He glanced at his watch as he sat in the conference room waiting for the meeting to start, it was almost 9 am.

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><p>"Ummmm interesting condition…"<p>

A husky voice came over Meredith's shoulder as she waited outside the conference room near the nurses station, she was waiting for Richard to give her the cue as to when she should make her entrance. She had picked up a chart to glance at in a bid to calm her nerves whilst she waited. She couldn't help but be nervous, she was certain that Derek would be happy that she was staying but for some reason she had a niggling feeling that she just could not shake off. She turned immediately in the direction of the voice having instantly recognized it.

"Mark, what are you doing here?" She admonished as she threw herself straight into his embrace.

"I heard that there were a lot of ugly people in New York who needed my assistance in becoming prettier." Mark replied as he pulled back from Meredith.

Meredith giggled, she was amazed at how good it felt to actually laugh and she was unable to remember the last time when she felt as relaxed. "You're joining the staff at Seattle Grace, you're the other new Doctor?"

"I am indeed… wait don't tell me your also joining the staff here?"

"I am indeed…" Meredith smiled briefly as the memory of why she was transferring hit her.

"Meredith I heard about your husband's death, I am so sorry. You know I wanted to send a card…"

"Thanks Mark… You were really going to send a card?" She asked with raised eyebrows.

"Urm no, but it sounded good though right? I am trying to be more sensitive, did it work?"

"Your gonna try a different approach with the nurses here, hey? You finally discovered that being Mr. insensitive only gets you shut down…"

"Hey that is so untrue, Mark Sloan does not get shut down. The nurses were pissed at having to work extra hours when the chief imposed the 80 hour rule, they just were not feeling horny."

"You keep telling yourself that…"

"So what are they like?"

"Who?"

"Duh… the Nurses of course, the interns, the residents, fellow attending's…. anyone worth a squirt?"

"You are terrible Mark Sloan, like I would even know… unless of course you are asking for my opinion on the male employees?" Meredith smirked.

"Not funny," Mark shook his head as his entire body cringed, "not funny at all Carlisle. Hey I heard that Lia's surgery was successful."

"It was…"

"How is she doing? Do you think she is up for a visit from Uncle Mark?"

"She is doing amazingly well and I am certain she would love to see you…" Their attention was suddenly diverted back to the conference room as they heard the door open and Richard stepped out.

"I take it you two know each other then." Richard asked as he approached with a grin.

"We do and I can't believe you didn't say anything to me," Meredith pouted, "what would you have done if I hated him?"

"I would have terminated his contract of course…"

"Hey that's not fair, why would I have been the one to go? You know I am the best plastic surgeon in the country I am a certified ENT too, it's not just boobs I fix… I save lives." Marks pout mirrored Meredith's.

"And I know that, I am happy to have you Dr. Sloan however Meredith is my God daughter and God daughter trumps having the best plastic surgeon in the country any day…"

"Oh inside influence Carlisle I like it…" Mark chuckled.

"As much as I find you entertaining Dr. Sloan I have a room full of surgery junkie attending's over there who are itching to cut, so lets get you two introduced to them before they start cutting each other… again I might add."

"Again?" Meredith asked with a slight giggle visibly taking a deep breath as they walked over to the conference room.

"It's a long story, I will fill you in later…" Richard said with a chuckle as they approached the conference room.

"Do I get to know too?" Mark asked.

"No." Richard simply said with a grin.

"That's favoritism." Mark declared looking at Meredith and she simply stuck her tongue out at him as they prepared to enter the room.

Having Mark next to her Meredith felt a lot calmer and for some reason knew that she had definitely made the correct decision to transfer. Her and Mark had started their internships together at Seattle Grace and over the years had become really good friends. Nothing romantic had ever remotely happened between them and it never would they thought of one another as siblings. They had a lot in common, Mark had crap parents too and he was not on speaking terms with them. Mark in some ways also reminded her a lot of Derek they had the same sense of humor and shared the same unhealthy obsession with the Clash, the only difference being was that Mark was born a true man whore. They followed Richard into the room and Meredith briefly let go of the breath she was holding as her eyes instantly clashed with Derek's only to take in another one as Richard started to speak. She had seen happiness flash in Derek's eyes, but then his face took on a different expression as Richard got further into his speech. It was a look that made her confused and made her feel incredibly nervous.

"So I promise not to keep you any longer folks I know that you are itching to get back into the OR. Without further ado I would like to introduce you to two new additions to our surgical staff. The first being Dr. Mark Sloan, Dr. Sloan is joining us as Head of Plastics. As you all are aware Dr. Benson retired 6 months ago and we have been struggling to replace him. I am confident Dr. Sloan will take the department to a whole new level and am delighted he joined us, I'm sure you are all aware of his reputation.

Some of you already know the second addition to staff and I am sure others may have seen her around the hospital over the past couple of weeks. Please welcome Dr. Meredith Carlisle…

"Actually I will be reverting to my maiden name…" Meredith quietly interrupted.

"Well actually Dr. Grey as she informs me, she will be reverting back to her maiden name. Dr. Grey formally Dr. Carlisle will be joining our Neurosurgery department…."

Derek was confused when he saw Meredith walk in, Richard had said that the main purpose for the meeting was to introduce them to two new surgeons who would be joining the surgical department. For a few brief seconds he was immensely happy at the thought of Meredith being permanently back in New York, that was until he remembered the predicament that he had found himself in. His eyes had immediately met with Meredith's when she entered the room, in her eyes he had instantly seen the love she had for him reflected there. She also seemed like she was at peace and no longer like she was being eaten up with guilt. This could only mean one thing, the news of Rose's pregnancy and the fact that he was going to try and establish a relationship with her was going to be a hell of a lot harder to break to Meredith. He also didn't have a clue as to how he was supposed to see Meredith every day, work with her and not be able to be with her. He needed to get out of there and breathe.

"Seeing as Derek's surgical trial has had success, it will mean that he is going to be tied up with it. And with the influx of patients it is going to bring we will be lucky if we see him outside of the OR. This means that there is room for a second head of Neurosurgery, which is the position Dr. Carl… sorry Dr. Grey," Richard smiled apologetically at Meredith, "has accepted and of course Dr. Grey brings her own ground breaking successful surgical trial to the hospital. I would like you to all take the time to greet them both and welcome them to the hospital. That's all folks, you can get back to the OR.

As soon as Richard dismissed everyone, the first thing Meredith wanted to do was to talk to Derek. When Richard had broken the news that she would be staying as the second head of neurosurgery instead of the ecstatic look she thought she was going to see, he had looked like a deer caught in somebodies headlights. She was temporarily rooted to the spot though whilst the fellow Attending's greeted her and she watched Derek as he made a quick exit from the room.

* * *

><p>"There you are, so any interesting gossip?" Rose asked, immediately pouncing on Derek as he left the room, throwing her arms around his neck.<p>

He had to get them away from the conference room fast, he thought to himself. Meredith could not find out this way. "Rose we are on the floor, I am working and so should you be."

"What's going on Derek?"

"Nothing come on, lets go to an on call room." He said suggestively, as he inwardly cringed but he knew she would jump at the chance.

"Oh Derek, I love you!" Rose excitedly exclaimed grabbing hold of his face with her hands as she kissed him.

Out of instinct Derek's hands moved to cup her elbows as her lips touched his, and at that second he saw the conference door open and out walked the last person he wanted to see in that moment, Meredith. He was unable to pull back quickly enough and as their eyes met for a brief few seconds he saw the hurt and anger flash in them before she took off down the corridor.

"Meredith wait!" Derek shouted after her as he gently moved Rose to the side of him.

Rose grabbed hold of his arm before he was able to take off.

Derek turned to look at her bringing his hand to her cheek, "I need to talk to her, I owe her that much. I will come and find you, take care of our baby."

"Ok." Rose smiled gently at him. The smile soon turned into a smirk as she watched him take off after Meredith down the corridor, she was feeling extremely satisfied with herself. Derek really did care about her, he chose her over Meredith and later they would have sex and then they really would be able to be a happy family.

**Would love your opinions on this chapter and remember if you would like a teaser from the next update let me know. Next update Meredith and Derek will have a long awaited talk...**

**Jen xxx**


	28. Chapter 28

**Once again Thank You so much for your reviews it always makes me happy to read them. I hope you enjoy the update below and as always I welcome your feedback.**

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><p>Chapter 28<p>

Derek managed to catch sight of Meredith and shouted out to her, "Mer, stop please?"

"Derek, just leave me alone."

"I can't do that." Derek grabbed her elbow bringing her to a halt as he finally caught up with her. "Let me explain… Please?" he pleaded as he looked into her watery eyes, immediately feeling his own eyes moisten too.

"Explain what? Explain the fact that you are a liar and that I don't even know who you are anymore?"

"I didn't lie to you…"

"Really? Because I thought you told me that it was over between you two, you told me that you loved me and wanted to be with me. Damn it! You said you would wait for me… I should have known better you are all the same, all you know how to do is cheat."

"What are you on about?" Derek asked knowing that she was no longer just talking about them.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter…"

"It does, look, we can't talk here," Derek said taking her arm again as he pulled her towards a nearby on call room. When they were inside and the door was closed and locked, he continued. "I do love you, you know that."

"Correction, I thought I did but then again, I also thought my husband did too. But it turns out I was wrong and that he had been having an affair for the last two years."

"Oh my God, the asshole, how could he do that to you?" Derek was shocked and angry to find out that Matt had been cheating on Meredith. He had even had the nerve to practically pee all over her in front of him when he was cheating on her all along. Meredith had felt so guilty when what he had been doing was so much worse…

"Well, you should know…"

"Hold on, I have never cheated on you, Meredith, we were not together. How is the way your husband behaved similar to my behavior? I understand you're pissed at him but you can't offload all your anger on me, I would never betray your trust…"

"That's crap and you know it, we slept together more than once recently, and I know I told you I couldn't be with you, but I was going through a hard time, my emotions were all over the place. You knew that, you understood that. Less then a week ago you kissed me and told me you were not going anywhere and that you would wait for however long I needed you to wait for. And now… now I am ready to be with you and you are kissing another woman. Not just any woman but your ex someone you assured me you had no feelings for. I am moving across the country for you, damn it, I feel like such an idiot!"

"Mer… God, you're not, and I want nothing more than to be with you. I meant every word that I said…"

"Then why, Derek? Why did I just find you in the arms of another woman? You turned into such a manwhore that you cannot be without sex for more than a few days? Or don't tell me that you are in love with her too?"

"You have it all wrong, I have not had sex with Rose since before you came back into my life and I am not in love with her…"

"Then why, Derek? Just tell me… why you would do this to me?"

"She's pregnant, she is having my baby…" The words gently spilled from his mouth.

"Wh- what?" Meredith gasped in shock as she stumbled backwards to the bed and sat down on it as the back of her legs came into contact with it.

"She told me just after I promised I would wait for you…" Derek slowly walked over and sat down next to Meredith and took her hand into his, relief washing over him when she didn't pull it back. "I am so sorry…" he said as he faced her with tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

"She's really pregnant, there's no chance that she is lying?" Meredith asked looking at Derek as she took a deep breath trying to control the tears that were on the verge of falling from her eyes. She had not felt this desperate since the day that Lia had been diagnosed with the tumor. Things were definitely beyond her control again this time and she knew she was going to lose him, she knew that the love you had for your child was far greater than any love you could have for someone else. There was no way Meredith could ask him to walk away now, not when the child he had wanted for so long was within his grasp.

"I saw the sonogram and the dates match up, she wasn't seeing anyone else…" Derek's heart clenched at sound of the gasp, which came from Meredith and he watched her begin to shake as giant sobs started to take over her body. He couldn't help but pull her into his embrace while Meredith's arms automatically went around him. The tears began to fall from his own eyes, he couldn't believe how unfair life was being. "I- I am so sorry…" he murmured into her hair, desperately trying to breathe in the familiar smell that was so uniquely her. He knew this might be the last time he would get to hold her like this.

Meredith pulled back slightly as her crying started to subside. "I don't even know what to say… God…"

"I know, I have been trying to wrap my head around it…" Derek looked into her eyes.

"You are going to be a Dad, Der, finally…" Meredith said as she tried to give him a weak smile, cupping his cheek in her hand as her thumb moved to brush away his tears.

"I know…" Derek said as a small smile crossed his face, mirroring Meredith's. "I can't help but think that it should have been us though, it should be you carrying my baby."

"I know, Der, I felt the same when I found out I was pregnant with Lia. Even though I had not seen you in a long time, part of me felt guilty that I was having a baby with someone else. You were supposed to be the father of my baby."

"I feel so torn… I love you so much but she is having my child, her OB said she already had some bleeding and any emotional stress can cause her to miscarry. I can't risk that happening, I don't want to lose another child."

"I love you too, but I know that you wouldn't be the man I know you are if you walked away."

Derek simply nodded at her, he didn't know what to say. He knew he had to walk away from her, to say goodbye but he just couldn't bring himself to do it, not when every part of him was screaming out to never let her go again.

They sat there staring at each other, neither one of them wanting to move, they wanted to stay in this moment where everything seemed so safe and so at ease. Everything came so naturally to them just as it always had, they both seemed to move at the same time, the gap between them closing at an even pace on both their sides, their lips suddenly fused together. They both knew it was wrong but neither could stop it or pull away, they simply didn't want to.

As soon as Derek's mouth was against hers, her body took over as if it had a mind of its own, she simply lost control of it. Her arms made their way around Derek's neck, her fingers instantly began to weave through his hair. Her legs were now on either side of his waist so that she was straddling him. Meredith wasn't sure if it was her who had moved into that position or if Derek had pulled her onto him. As her tongue gently battled with his and her entire body heated up as his hands searched underneath her shirt. She couldn't help but think back to the last time that they had said goodbye to one another in this way… a time almost twenty years ago… It felt just as raw and unjust now as it had back then…

Derek knew this was wrong, he had committed to Rose and his unborn child but he could not help himself, it was just like it always was with Meredith. "_One last time__,"_he told himself, he had to be with her just one more time. His hands came out from underneath her shirt and he slowly began to unbutton it not once breaking the searing kiss that they were engaged in. He was savoring every stroke of her tongue against his, he knew it would be the last time he experienced it.

The rest of their clothes were quickly discarded and Derek laid Meredith gently back onto the bed. Their mouths broke apart and they gazed into each other's eyes as he slowly entered her, there was not a need for words, their tear filled eyes spoke enough silent words for them. They both wanted to savor the moment and bask in the their love making which for once, barring the occasional gasp of pleasure, was silent. They were trying to make their connection last as long as possible. It was the slowest Derek had ever moved whilst inside her as he pecked gentle kisses all over her face, neck, collarbone and shoulders, over her arms as her hands and fingers tangled in his hair. They both came together and laid quietly, still connected; their bodies remained tangled together for what seemed like an eternity. Neither wanted to move or talk because they were dreading what was coming next. Derek's bleeping pager suddenly filled the room, he looked at Meredith apologetically as he slipped out of her and moved off of the bed to find it. Upon seeing who had paged him he was surprised that guilt did not take over him, it was Rose.

Meredith could tell straight away by Derek's body language who the sender of that page was. She sat up and automatically felt the tears well up in her eyes, Derek came back to the bed and gently embraced her.

"I am so sorry…" he whispered into her hair once again as he kissed the top of her head, cuddling her tightly into his chest.

"I am too… You had better go, she is probably worried."

"I know… but I don't want to leave you…"

"I will be ok…" Meredith said as she pulled back from his embrace and looked once again into his tear filled eyes, which mirrored her own.

"What are you going to do?"

"Well, I have signed a five year contract and there is nothing left in Seattle for Lia and me anymore…"

"So you are still staying?" Derek asked, his tone full of hope even though he knew it would be hard to see her every day and not be with her.

"I think so, I don't really have much choice…" A brief smile crossed her face.

"I am glad, it means I still get to keep a part of you in my life…"

"Yeah, I know… but Derek, you know what just happened between us… it can't happen again…"

"I know…" he gently said as he brought his hand to her face and with his thumb wiped away a tear that had just fallen from her eye.

Meredith mustered up all the strength it took to smile. "Go on, get out of here… and you had better make sure the department is in order, I don't take kindly to sloppiness…" Her tone was now full of humor.

"Yes boss, and don't I know it!" Derek started to pull his scrubs back on, standing up as he pulled his top over his head. He then bent back down and hugged Meredith kissing her on the cheek one more time before he made his way to the door. "I will be round later to check on Lia… I will see you then?"

"Sure… see you then. Goodbye Derek."

His eyes locked with hers once more. "Goodbye Meredith." He took a deep breath, turned around and walked out into the new world that awaited him… A world where once again he was unable to be with the love of his life.

* * *

><p><strong>All I will say is please trust me, I remember writing that update a while back now and it was an extrememly hard one to write so I really love to hear your thoughts on it. If you would like a teaser from the next update let me know.<strong>

**Also we are one week away from the premier of Grey's season 8, is anyone looking forward to it? From the promo's I have seen I am having mixed feelings, I am also not even fooling myself by thinking that we will get Merder scenes which last for longer then 30 seconds...**

**Jen xxx**


	29. Chapter 29

**Many Thanks again for your feedback on the last update and thank you for trusting me.**

**Hope you enjoy this one...**

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><p>Chapter 29<p>

Two weeks had now passed since Meredith and Derek had once again said goodbye to each other. They had spent the last two weeks tiptoeing around each other and Meredith was grateful that she had not been subjected to any personal displays of affection between Derek and Rose, in fact she had hardly seen Rose about. This seemed a little odd to Meredith as she would have thought that given the circumstances Rose would have been doing her best to rub the situation and her little victory into her face.

Lia was doing even better, she seemed happy to see Mark and have yet another familiar face around her. She occasionally mentioned Matt but that was mainly around bedtime; despite his short comings Meredith was unable to fault him where his daughter was concerned. Matt always made sure that no matter where he was he always called Lia at bedtime. Mark had been brilliant at popping in to see her then but Meredith also had a sneaky suspicion that he had an ulterior motive in the form of Lia's night shift nurse, Amanda.

"I knew our paths would cross eventually, I was hoping it would have been a lot later than this…" A snarky voice came from beside the nurse's station on the gynecological floor that she had just entered to do a neuro consult.

"Addison Montgomery, well this is a surprise… I would like to say that I always wondered what rock you would eventually crawl out from but I didn't, you have not crossed my thoughts in years. I must admit though I am impressed, I mean after you got kicked out of the program at Seattle Grace we all thought you were done. I guess you finally discovered that the correct move was to whore your way to the top instead of doing it sideways and downwards, you opened your legs for anything from patients to porters to your peers. How did you manage to worm your way here though? I thought Richard Webber was a lot smarter…"

"So I see not much changes, your still the same bitter snarky little bitch you always were. Only from what I hear you have every reason to be bitter with your life. You have no man now to fall back on to raise that kid of yours, lost out to the grim reaper and to a nurse, you must be losing your touch… If anyone is a whore it's you, sleeping with your daughter's doctor whilst married… who would have thought it from little miss goody two shoes."

"You don't know what you are talking about so just keep your mouth shut and stay out of my business. We obviously have to work with each other, well… until Richard comes to his senses at least…"

"Richard? You seem on very friendly terms with the chief, and you just had the nerve to accuse me of sleeping my way to the top… You think that I am afraid of you? I always swore to you that I would get my own back on you after the stunt you pulled when we were interns and I intend on just doing that," she said with a smirk knowing her plan of revenge was already in progress and Meredith didn't have the slightest clue.

"After the stunt I pulled? That's the biggest joke I have heard in a long time. You have nobody but your own incompetence to blame… It was nothing to do with me."

"It was your fault that I got kicked out of one of the best programs and ended up at a teaching hospital which didn't even make it into the top 100."

"How typical of you to blame your own shortcomings on somebody else. You were the one who misdiagnosed a patient, not me."

"You were not even on pediatrics, I was the peds intern, not you. You had no right to run to a surgical attending behind my back.

You double crossed me and stitched me up for the sake of scoring a few points and getting ahead."

"You are still as delusional now as you were back then. I raised my concerns regarding your patient directly with you, you just totally dismissed them. I'm sorry but there was no way I was going to stand back and not try to do something to save that baby's life. The fact that baby died is totally on you! Had you not been off whoring yourself out and had you actually been concerned with doing your job, that baby would have survived."

"Why you little…" Addison went to take a step towards Meredith when a body suddenly stepped in between them, keeping them separated.

"Whoa there, what's going on?" Derek asked as he put his hands on Meredith's shoulders and pushed her back a little increasing the distance between her and Addison.

"What are you doing here?" Meredith breathlessly asked grasping Derek's arm to steady herself as she suddenly experienced a dizzy spell.

"You ok?" Derek asked as he steadied her and led her towards a chair behind the nurses' station. "I heard there was a neuro consult needed here and it's a good job I came…" He looked at her with concern evident in his eyes.

"Oh, she is fine… just fishing for attention, as usual!" Addison piped up in an incredibly snarky tone.

"Do you mind leaving us alone?" Derek asked.

"Do you think that is a good idea? People talk in the hospital…"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"Well I don't think the mother of your child would be happy to hear that you were alone with her…"

"I am sorry but what the hell does that have to do with you?" Meredith demanded interrupting the conversation between Derek and Addison, ignoring the sudden slight feeling of nausea that washed over her. She automatically put it down to Addison mentioning the fact that there was another woman out there carrying Derek's baby.

"It has everything to do with me you home wrecker, Rose is not just a patient of mine but she is also a good friend and she doesn't need you sniffing around her child's father…"

"I am not…"

"Mer, it's ok, you don't have to explain yourself. Look Dr. Montgomery I appreciate that Rose is your friend but you have no right to speak to Meredith in the way you just did. Is that what you were arguing about with her when I arrived? I don't know what Rose told you but friend or not, it is none of your business and I will not stand by…"

"Oh, get off your high horse. As much as you like to think the world revolves around you my earlier discussion with Dr. Grey was nothing to do with you. We have unfinished business from our intern days."

"You know each other?" Derek looked enquiringly at Meredith.

"Unfortunately…" Meredith groaned. "Look, if you are here for the consult, do you mind if I get off?" She really was not feeling well now. It was typical, Addison brought nothing but turmoil wherever she went… some things just didn't change.

"Sure but are you going to be ok? Let me take you back to Lia's room."

"Derek, I am fine, I just need to catch up on some sleep, that's all. Besides, I am not your responsibility and the witch is right, the last thing you need is for the gossip to start up and get back to your girlfriend, she doesn't need the stress," Meredith said sadly as she stood up.

Derek briefly grabbed hold of her hand but let it go quickly as he saw how much his touch hurt her. It hurt him just as much, he wanted nothing more than to be able to take her into his arms and hold her. "Meredith, we wouldn't be doing anything wrong and I will never stop caring about you, Rose knows that. We can be friends and she will need to get used to that…"

"Friends…" Meredith offered him a weak smile, biting her lower lip at the same time in an attempt to stop her tears that were suddenly threatening to erupt from spilling… _God__,__ what the hell __is__ wrong with me today__?_ she thought to herself.

"Friends…" Derek repeated.

"This is beautiful and everything but we do have a patient waiting. Can you guys talk about your friendship on your own time and preferably not in front of me?"

"Derek, honestly I am fine," Meredith assured him again. Suddenly she was perfectly ok, her hormones really were all over the place. But then again was it really a wonder why given the recent stress she had been through over the last few weeks… "Go take care of the patient."

* * *

><p>"Here you go, Percy, get this down you."<p>

"Thank you urm… um…"

"Rose…"

"Oh yeah," Percy chuckled, "of course, why do I keep forgetting? I blame this on alcohol, you know. What was in that last drink you got me? It was lethal… as in 007 lethal." He let out a belly laugh around a belch, causing Rose to inwardly cringe.

"But you liked it though, right?" Rose asked as her hand snuck under the table of the booth she and Percy were sat at at the back of Joe's, practically hidden away from the busy section of the bar. She began to meticulously massage his upper thigh inching closer to his groin. She was smiling, her plan was working even though she was inwardly cringing at the thought. She had had to take on a new plan of action as her attempts to seduce Derek had failed and she was almost out of time. The Rohypnol she had slipped into Percy's drink had started to take effect and now it was time to up her game and see her plan through to the end, just like she had done over the last four days. Percy would be her fourth victim now, well, fifth if you included the drunken fun which she had had with Nurse Eli three days ago in the toilets, but he had come with her literally speaking, on his own free will.

**Soooo desperate times call for desperate measures lol, as always I would absolutely love to hear your comments... Remember to let me know if you would like a teaser as well from the next update.**

**Jen xx**


	30. Chapter 30

**Once again I wanted to say a big thank you to those of you who submitted such nice feedback to me. **

**I did receive an anonymous review from someone who called themselves "Delete this trash" What an interesting name I must say lmao. I am sorry that you find my story, what was it you said? Oh yes "The Dumbest most immature crap on this board." And that I should "stop ruining Merder fanfiction with my trash! and that I have taken great characters and made them trashy." I also apologize for the fact that I make you sick. I really do wish however that you would have had the courage to sign your review to enable me to form a personal response back to you. What I will say is that if you find my story trash then please do not waste your time reading it. I openly encourage constructive criticism and ask for it on every update that I post, however there is a difference between giving constructive criticism and in being just out right spiteful and rude. I write for fun and continue to post on this site for the loyal readers who comment after every update and to those readers and the other readers who also enjoy reading but do not comment I want to apologize for subjecting you to reading the above. If the person had the guts to sign their comment I would not have had to reply to them here.**

**Anyway back to the next update, I just wanted to say that I borrowed an excerpt from Dr. Seuss Cat in the hat, my daughters favorite story. I hope you enjoy the update below.**

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><p>Chapter 30<p>

"The sun did not shine. It was too wet to play. So we sat in the house all that cold, cold, wet day. I sat there with Sally, we sat there we two. And I said, "How I wish we had something to do!" Too wet to go out and too cold to play ball. So we sat in the house. We did nothing at all. So all we could do was to Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! And we did not like it. Not one little bit. And then something went BUMP! How that bump made us jump! We looked! Then we saw him step in on the mat! We looked! And we saw him! The Cat in the Hat! And he said to us, "Why do you…"

Meredith suddenly clasped her hand to her mouth as she felt the vomit begin to rise into her throat. One minute she had been fine whilst reading Lia her bed time story, the next she had found herself like every evening that week, scrambling for the toilet.

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><p>"Hey Princess!" Mark announced as he walked into Lia's room. "Where is your Mom?"<p>

"She ran to the bathroom…" And as if on cue they heard Meredith retching from the toilet as she spewed the contents of her stomach.

"Right in the middle of reading Cat in the hat? That is just so wrong…" Mark earned a giggle from Amelia, his attempt to distract her from worrying about Meredith obviously worked. "How about I finish it off for you tonight?"

"Oh yay, please Mr. Mark! We will never tell Mommy but you do the voices so much better. That was mine and Daddy's secret too… Even Mr. Derek can do the voices better…"

"Mr. Derek?" Mark questioned.

"Mr. Derek is my new bestest friend, you know he fixed my boo boo coz Mommy forgets to be a doctor when she has to look after me. He didn't forget and made me all better, I don't have the shakes anymore you know."

Mark couldn't help the smile that spread across his face as he listened to Lia. He was aware now that she was talking about Dr. Shepherd. "I won't tell Mommy your secret. So you really like Mr. Derek then?"

"Yes, I do and Mommy likes him lots too…"

"Does she really?"

"Huh uh… They use to be friends a long time ago, I told her that I needed a new daddy now coz I don't gots one anymore. I wanted Mr. Derek to be my new Daddy but I don't think he can now."

"Why's that?" Marked asked, getting even more intrigued by the minute.

"Coz I heard Mommy and Aunty Cristina talking when I was supposed to be sleeping. Aunty Christina asked Mommy what she was going to do now that Derek was going to have a baby with the horse. They then went outside my room and I didn't hear anymore. I only know one Derek, my Mr. Derek, so they must have been talking about him. But it's strange right? I thought that humans could only have human babies, if what they were saying was right he is going to be a daddy to a horse. Does that mean that I can be a Mommy to a baby dolphin when I am older? Coz I love dolphins…"

"Um Lia, did you ask your Mommy?"

"No, of course not silly, coz I was supposed to be sleeping not ears dropping. So you have to find out for me Mr. Mark. Although I think it's cool if you can have an animal as a baby, I don't want Mr. Derek to have a baby with the horse, coz then he can't be my new Daddy. So you need to pinky swear that you will find out for me?"

Lia expectantly held her little finger out to Mark and he immediately held his little finger to hers as he thought about how he was going to bring up this topic with Meredith.

"Ok, I pinky swear to find out what I can. Now how about I finish reading from good old Dr. Seuss?"

* * *

><p>"Lia, hon…"<p>

"Ssh she is sleeping, or at least I think she is," Mark whispered as he stood up and walked over to Meredith.

"I am surprised to see you here tonight, it's Amanda's night off. Did Lia go down alright?"

"Oh I will be seeing her later. I finished reading her story, she went down fine… well after she said some interesting things…" He quietly chuckled as he remembered their conversation. "That is a conversation we can have away from here… you look like crap." He said with a frown.

"Why, thanks Mark, I am glad that I can rely on you for your blunt honesty."

"Anytime baby. Let's go somewhere we can talk in private…"

"Lia is asleep, we can talk here…"

"Hmmm maybe, but all the same we will send a nurse in. You know just coz her eyes are closed it doesn't mean that she is fast asleep."

"What are you on about?"

"Don't worry, I plan to fill you in."

* * *

><p>"Mark this had better be worth it, I can just imagine what gossip that nurse is going to spread after she saw us come into the on call room together."<p>

"What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Tonight is not the first time you have been sick and I have seen your lunch choices in the canteen…"

"Mark…"

"No, Meredith you can't ignore it and hope that it is going to go away. Here I think you need this…"

"What… When…?"

"I went and got it from the store room whilst you were in the bathroom, when Lia fell asleep. I wasn't lying when I said she went down with ease."

"About that, you said…"

"Nice try, I will fill you in on what she said later… Go and do the test. Luckily I chose the on call room that has an en suite. I will wait here for you."

* * *

><p>"So…?" Mark asked as soon as Meredith walked out of the bathroom.<p>

"I am pregnant…" she managed to say before she broke down into tears.

"Hey, calm down. It is going to be ok." Mark pulled her into his embrace and rubbed his hand soothingly over her back. "Look, I know it is not the best time for you right now. Being a single Mom is not going to be easy and it's a shame the baby will never get the chance to meet its Dad. But you have a lot of people to support you, you are not alone. And look at it this way, you have someone else to remind you of Matt."

"No, you d- don't get it!" Meredith shook her head as she pulled away from Mark. "The baby doesn't belong to my husband, we hadn't had sex in a while, there is no way he can be the father."

"I don't understand… wait a second, it's Derek Shepherd's baby, isn't it?"

"Wha- what?" Meredith's sobs instantly stopped out of shock. "H- how did you know?"

"Lia…"

"Oh my God, what does Lia have to do with this? Please don't tell me she has overheard any gossip."

"Meredith, calm down, she mentioned earlier that Derek was an old friend of yours and that she wanted him to be her new Daddy. She also said that she heard Dr. Yang ask you what you were going to do now that Derek had gotten the horse pregnant. I put two and two together and come up with four."

"God, this is such a mess…"

"Well, I could lie to you and say it isn't but it is… well it's a little complicated. And by the way, I think what she overheard of your conversation really confused her, she thinks Derek is literally going to have a baby with an actual horse. She was asking about whether or not she would be able to have a dolphin when she was older?"

Despite the circumstances Meredith burst out giggling. "God, Mark what am I going to do?"

"You need to tell Derek…"

"You can't be serious… He is having a baby with somebody else, they are in a relationship and he and I are…" Meredith trailed off, gasping as her hand fell to her stomach. Even though she had started to suspect it herself and she had done a pregnancy test five minutes ago, it had only just hit her. She was pregnant, pregnant again with Derek's baby.

"Meredith what's wrong?" Mark rushed immediately back to her side, thinking that she was suffering from stomach pain. "Where does it hurt, is it the baby?"

"I- it does- doesn't hurt," Meredith gasped out as tears began to gather again in her eyes.

"Deep breaths, come on, you need to calm down. It will be ok, I know it doesn't seem that way right now but everything will work out. Dr. Shepherd seems like a decent guy…"

"He is…" Meredith quietly whispered as she got her breathing under control, desperately trying to fight off her tears.

"Lia said that he was an old friend, did you know him prior to Seattle Grace?"

"I did," Meredith took a deep breath before backing away from Mark and sitting down on the bed. He walked over and sat down next to her; taking her hand into his, he waited for her to continue. "I have known Derek practically my entire life. We were neighbors when I was a kid, we grew up together, we were inseparable. We officially became boyfriend and girlfriend when I turned thirteen, the three years that followed were the happiest years of my life. Well until I had Lia at least. He was my forever Mark. I loved him so much."

"What happened?"

"When I was sixteen I fell pregnant…"

"Don't tell me he abandoned you…"

"No, he wouldn't have done that. It was a shock to both of us, of course we had not planned it but we both wanted the baby. It was a part of us, conceived out of the love we had for one another, and Derek, he was amazing. He had talked about getting a job to support us, find somewhere for us to live so that we could be a proper family. He even wanted to marry me." A slight smile graced her face as she thought back to those few moments when just for five seconds everything seemed like it would be ok and they were happy.

"What went wrong then?" Mark instantly saw the anguish that flashed in Meredith's eyes. "Oh I am sorry… you obviously lost the baby, I know Lia is your only child…"

"Yes, she is and you are right… well, kind of. I did lose my baby but it's not what you think. When my Mom found out, she was furious and she threatened to have Derek thrown in jail for statutory rape unless I agreed to have a termination. Derek was 18 at the time so he was an adult and I was considered a minor."

"Oh my God, what a bitch. I am sorry Meredith but…"

"No, please don't refrain yourself on my account, I have called her a lot worse."

"That is just unbelievable, what about Derek's parents? Couldn't they have helped?"

"Oh don't get me started on them," Meredith said as she wiped the remaining tears from her eyes, for some reason she was now calm. "This goes no further right, it's not really my story to tell…"

"OK."

"Seriously Mark…"

"Nothing you say will leave this room," he suddenly got a grin on his face and held up his little finger, which caused Meredith to slightly giggle and roll her eyes, "pinky swear?"

"No wonder you get along so well with Lia…"

"Yeah yeah, just tell me already."

"Derek's father is a famous congressman. Derek now uses his mother's surname but he used to be called Maloney."

"Congressman Maloney? As in the Congressman who was caught on CCTV receiving under the table action from his PA?"

"Yes, Mark."

"I looked up to that guy, the PA was hot…"

"Mark!" Meredith admonished.

"I know, I know, it's so not the time. Sorry, I'm listening…"

"His parents were not supportive, his Dad backed my Mom. You see, he was worried about his career and concerned about how bad it would look if his son went to prison. Derek's Mom and my father just took a back seat and watched them rail road us into making a decision neither one of us wanted to make."

"You know your Mom no longer seems like such a legend to me."

"Yeah well as far as surgery goes she maybe is, but as far as being a parent? If you ask me, she should have been sterilized at birth."

"What happened?"

"Derek wanted to fight them, but there was no way I could take the chance and potentially ruin his life by allowing my Mom to have him thrown in jail. I agreed to have the abortion and to never see Derek again. Shortly after, my parents moved me to Boston and that was almost twenty years ago. I met with Derek again for the first time in that entire period when we came here for Lia's surgery."

"And he just let you go like that? If that were me I would have followed you to the end of the world…"

"Yeah right," Meredith snorted, "who are you trying to kid?"

"Look, I am trying to do girl here, give me some credit… I think I am doing good, right? Yes, I am, I see that smile. That's what you chicks do, right? You cheer each other up."

"Yes, Mark you are doing good…"

"You mind spreading that around a little? Drop a few words here and there about just what a great sensitive guy I am?"

Meredith giggled. "So you are trying a different approach here then? Thanks Mark…"

"Anytime, but seriously how come you guys stayed apart? You obviously loved each other really deeply if that love still remains today."

"The limitation on statutory rape was five years, my Mom threatened that if he came near me within that time she would still have him prosecuted. He wanted to wait, but I didn't want him to put his life on hold. It's ironic though because we both thought about going to look for one another but we were both scared at finding that the other had moved on. Derek never did, not really… Well not until recently at least…" Meredith ran her hands across her eyes to wipe away the sudden tears that had formed.

"If you ask me, he doesn't exactly look happy with the nurse. What are you going to do?"

"I really don't know, Mark."

"Are you going to have a termination?"

"What? No way, I can't. As bad a timing and as wrong as it is, this is mine and Derek's baby. I can't help but feel that it's my second chance."

"You're going to tell him though, right?"

"I don't know… I will eventually but I need to wait, his girlfriend has a high-risk pregnancy. I don't want to cause her extra stress, I will never forgive myself if Derek loses another child because of me."

"You are an honorable person, you know that? And you seriously need to stop blaming yourself. You did what was right when you were a kid and it was not because of you that you lost your first baby."

"Thanks, Mark." Meredith gave a weak smile.

"It is going to be ok. One thing I will say though is I am thoroughly disappointed… I tried to get in your pants when we met at the intern mixer and failed miserably yet he succeeded? What is it that he has? The pretty boy appeal? I would have pegged him as being gay if I didn't know any better…"

Meredith burst into a fit of giggles. "You are incorrigible."

"At least I made you…" Mark began but was interrupted by his pager beeping. "Damn, I have to take this. Are you going to be ok?"

"I will… thank you, again. I am feeling a whole lot calmer now. I know it's not going to be easy and it's totally the wrong time, but I can't think of this baby as being anything other than a blessing. I am going to head out with you and go back to Lia's room, I am shattered."

"Well, I am heading that way anyway and you're right. If you ask me, that baby could not have asked for a better Mom."

"You are too kind."

Mark's beeping pager filled the room once more. "Come on, let's go." He placed his hand briefly on Meredith's back in an attempt to reassure her all would be ok as they left the on call room.

* * *

><p>It had been a long day and all Derek wanted to do was sleep. He couldn't reach the on call room quickly enough, he was beyond exhausted; emotionally, mentally and physically. He was kidding himself if he thought that seeing Meredith practically every day without being able to be with her was going to get easier. Every fiber in his body yearned for her and he found himself making excuses to pass Lia's just to be able to watch her from a distance. He had in fact just come from there only Meredith was not there and Lia was fast asleep. He knew Meredith rarely left the hospital so he immediately ventured to the canteen but once again that search came up fruitless. As he turned the corner and got closer to the on call room he was headed to, his heart began to beat faster as he heard Meredith's giggle. It sounded more strained than usual but it was her giggle all the same. The sight which greeted him next made him feel as if he had been punched in the stomach. Meredith was exiting the on call room with the new head of plastics and his hand was planted firmly on her back…<p>

**So I hope I have given you some of what you want lol, in the next update someone will be jealous... If you would like a teaser from the next update please let me know in your review...**

**Jen xxxx**


	31. Chapter 31

**I really appreciate the overwhelming support I received for my story following the last update**. **SweetLala92 I received your awesome review and request for teaser however I am gonna update so thought you would enjoy this more then just a teaser :).**

**So a jealous Derek rears his head in the update below. Don't worry he will never have anything to be really jealous of. Hope you enjoy...  
><strong>

Chapter 31

Something was wrong with Derek, Meredith thought to herself as she watched him conduct Lia's neurological exam. If she knew any better, she would have thought that he knew about her pregnancy, but even that didn't make sense. If he had known, the Derek she knew would have been acting differently altogether. He was being extremely cold and distant towards her and was acting as though he was doing his best to pretend that she was not even in the room.

"Ok, Lia, can you pull my hand towards you? Well done, now let's try your other arm. Fantastic. Now I am going to take your hands and I want you to push me away from you. You are a strong for a little lady."

"I am the strongest, aren't I Mommy? We have a secret, Mr. Derek ask Mommy how comes I am so strong."

"I don't think I should, Mommy probably wants to keep it a secret."

Something was definitely off, he wouldn't even make eye contact with her then and he totally avoided talking to her.

"Now Miss Lia, I want you to touch the tip of your nose with this finger." Derek touched Lia's index finger. "I will hold my hand up in front of you as if I am waiting for you to give me a high five and I want you to touch it after you have touched the tip of your nose. You got that?"

"Yes, of course, that is easy peasy."

"That's it, now I want you to do it faster. Perfect Lia, now lets try the same finger on your other hand."

"How am I doing?"

"You are doing amazingly well. In fact, what would you say about being able to leave the hospital at the end of the week?"

"Seriously? Really? I gets to go to stay at aunt Cristina's until Mommy finds us a new house. Mommy, did you hear that? Mr. Derek says that I can leave the hospital soon. We have so many things to do, Mommy. We gots to find a house, we even have to find me a new school, Mr. Derek, coz I can't take the airplane every day to go to my old school and we…"

"Lia, sweetie calm down, we have plenty of time. Mommy needs to talk to Dr. Shepherd and confirm everything first, ok?"

"Yes, Mommy."

"Actually there isn't really a need to talk it through with me," Derek began without even bothering to look at Meredith. "She is doing remarkably well, you're a neurosurgeon yourself I am sure you can see that. I will be happy to discharge her on Friday, I will send an intern in later to go through the discharge plan with you."

Meredith was momentarily stunned and taken aback by Derek's attitude. She was so shocked by his behavior that she found herself unable to form a coherent sentence.

"Now, Miss Lia I have a surgery to get to. You take care and I will pop back in before Friday to see you."

"Ok, Mr. Derek, bye. Have fun putting people back together," Lia said as she giggled.

"Good bye Lia." Derek once again did not even acknowledge Meredith as he left the room.

She watched him walk out of the room before she turned to her daughter. "Lia hun, I have to quickly talk to Dr. Shepherd about his surgery. Can you be a good girl and finish coloring in your drawing for me?"

"Yes, of course Mommy. Mommy?" Lia called out just as Meredith was about to exit the room. "Perhaps you can try to cheer Mr. Derek up too, he is sad, Mommy. I think maybe his horse is being moany coz she is having his baby. Uncle Mark says people are crazy and moany when they are having babies. You can tell him they get better coz you are not crazy and moany and you had me."

Her daughter never ceased to amuse her, Meredith thought as she tried to stop herself from laughing. "I will try, honey, I will be back soon ok. If you need anything, press your buzzer for the nurse."

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><p>Meredith managed to catch up with Derek fairly quickly as he walked down the corridor. "Derek, wait up a second. Can I talk to you?" she asked as she grabbed his elbow and brought him to a stop in the thankfully deserted corridor.<p>

"Look, I already said I would send an intern in…"

"Screw sending an intern in, I want to hear it from you. What the hell is going on with you?" She took a deep breath as she asked.

"Nothing, everything is just fine. Now, if you don't mind, I have a surgery to get to."

"Cut the crap, Derek, I know you are lying. You forget I did the schedule, you don't have any surgery. Derek, what's going on, I thought we were friends."

"Yeah I thought so too. But friends don't keep stuff from each other…"

Meredith suddenly felt a wave of nausea and panic wash over her at the thought that he knew about her pregnancy. "H- how did you find out? I mean I only told…" she asked stumbling over her words.

"Oh no one told me, I had the pleasure of seeing it with my own two eyes. Thanks for that, it really felt great."

"W- what are you talking about?" she was really puzzled now. He didn't appear to be talking about her pregnancy, he couldn't be. She had safely discarded the pregnancy test stick and was yet to run labs on herself. She had already arranged to see a doctor at another hospital.

"I knew you had to move on eventually, Meredith, but I thought you would have had the decency to tell me first, not allow me to just spot you leaving an on call room with your new lover in tow. Or you know from what I hear he probably is not that much of a new lover anyhow. You worked together in Seattle, I bet I was not the first person you cheated on your husband with."

"How dare you!" Meredith admonished as she raised her hand up and slapped him across the face. It suddenly hit her, he had seen her leaving the on call room with Mark the night before, after she had found out that she was pregnant. He thought they were sleeping together…

"What, so you are going to tell me you are not sleeping with him?" Derek demanded as he rubbed his cheek where she had hit him.

"That is none of your business!" Meredith contemplated telling him the truth but she was way too angry with him at the moment to comprehend being honest with him. What did it matter anyhow? He obviously thought she was a liar.

"Wow, you really have changed but I am glad I found that out now. So it looks like I got out at the right time. Would you have continued to see both of us? Well I must say from what I hear he sleeps around too, that's something the two of you have in common." Derek began to walk away until Meredith caught hold of his arm and forcibly pulled him so that he spun back around to face her.

"How dare you talk to me like that? I am not a whore and even if I was, it would be none of your business. I moved across the country to be with you, you have always been the love of my life and when we were younger I always thought we would spend the rest of our lives together. Yes, things were messed up for a bit but when we met back up I truly thought that we had the chance to put everything right. It is your fault that we are not together now, not mine, and I have every right to move on with my life and you know what? I intend on doing just that. So, Derek, just go back to your little girlfriend and play the life of a happy family and stay the hell out of mine. I thought we could be friends but after what you just said to me, I really don't know you anymore. I know for certain though that no friend would talk to me like that."

Meredith began to walk away but this time it was Derek's turn to pull her back and before either one of them could register what he was doing, their mouths were angrily fused together. She succumbed to the kiss for a brief moment before she pulled back.

"You can't do that, Derek!" she hissed as she pulled out of his embrace, moving so quickly that she suddenly began to feel nauseas.

"I know and I am sorry. I am sorry for everything. I never meant to insinuate that you were a whore. It's just the thought of you with someone else, even after all this time, hurts a whole lot more than it should."

"I get that, Derek, how do you think I feel? But I do not go around ignoring you and then insulting you. You are with Rose, through your choice not mine, so I am sorry, you do not have any right to get angry at me if I decide to move on and start seeing someone else. Why is it ok for you to be with someone else, but it's not ok for me? You had to expect it, it was bound to happen."

"I just didn't expect it to be so painful."

"Trust me, it gets easier."

"Does it?"

"I like to think it does…" Meredith trailed off suddenly feeling really sick. The fight they had just had obviously had sent her blood pressure soaring.

"Are you ok? You don't look so good."

"Thanks Derek, remind me sometime to return the compliment."

"You look beautiful as always but look like you are about to throw up."

"I need to go…"

"Mer, let me help you?"

"No, Derek, it's not your job anymore… I am fine." All she wanted was for him to look after her, but she knew he couldn't and she shouldn't allow him to.

"Mer… Please?"

"No, Derek, please just leave me alone."

"I can't do that," he said reaching back out for her arm.

"Look, just leave me alone, I am sure your girlfriend needs taking care of," she said as she raised her voice. God, the pregnancy hormones had kicked in at full force, but saying that, she had a right to be pissed with him.

"Hey, what's going on here?" A voice came from behind.

"Mark," Meredith sighed with obvious relief, she knew now that Derek would walk away. She knew if Derek kept up with his persistence, he would break down her barriers the same way he always did.

"Do you mind? You are interrupting," Derek said as he angrily squared up to Mark.

"Really? Well, from where I am standing it looks like I came at the right time. Meredith, are you ok?"

"Of course she is ok. Now could you please go, I am sure you have some boobs to fix somewhere."

"What the hell is your problem, man? And I was not talking to you. Meredith, are you ok?"

"I said…" Derek began.

"Mark, can you please get me out of here?" Meredith didn't miss the look of hurt that flashed through every one of Derek's features.

"Meredith, I wasn't finished talking to you."

"That's just it, we are finished. Goodbye Derek," she said sadly as she took hold of Mark's arm and let him walk her off down the corridor, leaving Derek seething behind.

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><p><strong>I promise it will get better... So as usual would love your opinions, remember to let me know if you would like a teaser from the next update.<strong>

**Happy Greys Day Everyone! Lets just hope we get some worthwhile Merder interaction..**

**Jen xx  
><strong>


	32. Chapter 32

**Once again many thanks for the comments I received following the last update, as a token of my gratitude I will post another update for you. Hope you enjoy...**

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><p>Chapter 32<p>

"Hey, Meredith," Cristina called out to her as she saw her enter the canteen. "You're back, how did it go?" she asked as Meredith approached her table and sat down.

"It went well, everything is fine," Meredith said with a huge smile on her face as she reached over to grab a french fry off of Cristina's plate. "Did Lia settle in day care ok? I am going to pop up there but needed to grab something to eat first."

"No kidding, you have already eaten half my fries… Geez you sure are eating for two already, aren't you?"

"Shut up… You owe me anyway, your fridge was barren when we moved in a week ago."

"Ok, fair enough, I will let you have my fries as you have been feeding me."

"Do I get your chocolate pudding too?" Meredith asked pouting.

"Ok…" Cristina groaned, "Just this once, I will grab myself another."

"You see, this is why I keep you around."

"Hmmm well, seeing as it is you staying with me, I would say that it is me who is keeping you around."

"Whatever, you love having me around."

"I don't know about that… Now Lia, I love having Lia around… You keep me awake all night, I swear when you are pregnant you snore so much more."

"Sssh Cristina," Meredith quickly looked around as Cristina had said the last part of her sentence a little too loud. She was relieved to find that there was no one within listening distance.

"Oops sorry. Speaking of the pregnancy," Cristina whispered this time. "Did you find out when McPissy impregnated you?"

"McPissy?" Meredith questioned as she giggled.

"Yeah after the way he has been walking around with a permanent pissed off look etched across his features since he saw you and McSteamy coming out of the on call room together."

"Cristina…"

"What? He totally deserves it. Come off it, how can you defend him? He had no right talking to you like that and I am glad you didn't correct him on the fact that there was not anything going on between you and McSteamy."

"I know… It's just…"

"Look, I know," Cristina began as she reached her hand across to Meredith's and placed it on top of hers giving it a slight squeeze. "You don't have to explain. Somehow we got off the topic, tell me about my latest godchild."

Meredith offered Cristina a weak smile before she started talking. "The baby is perfect, it was conceived six weeks ago. The estimated date of conception being the first time Derek and I had sex again."

"Awww how sweet, if it wasn't for the circumstances that would almost be romantic."

"Please don't remind me of the circumstances, I just want to pretend that for today everything is perfect."

"See, and this is why I am careful and use protection so I don't end up in unforeseen circumstances."

"I used protection, Cris, I was on the pill…"

"Oh come on, Meredith, you know what your memory is like at the best of times. You were stressed so much with Lia, I bet you forgot to take it heaps."

"Maybe…"

"And sticking a condom on him was just too much to ask I suppose? I mean, come on you already knew how fertile he was…"

"Sometimes I wonder why we are even friends…"

"You know I tell it how it is and you would be lost without me."

"I thought I was protected by the pill and we never once discussed contraception, every time we slept together it was just unexpected."

"Hmmmm, so anyway, did you get a picture?"

"I did," Meredith said as she reached for her bag under the table and pulled out a sonogram picture which she handed to Cristina. "It's early so you can't really see much but…"

"But there it is… You know I can't wait to hear what nickname Lia will give it after she sees this picture." Meredith giggled as the image of Lia and the puzzled frown she always pulled entered her mind.

"When are you going to tell her?" Cristina gently asked as she returned the sonogram back to Meredith who quickly looked at it before placing it safely back inside her bag.

"I am not sure, I was thinking of waiting until the twelve week mark and…"

"You need to tell Derek first…"

"Can you imagine if he bumps into Lia after she manages to get out of daycare and she says something to him? Oh Cris, why does my life have to be so complicated?"

"Because you didn't shield McPissy's penis?"

"So not helping," Meredith sighed, bringing her head down to rest her arms on the table.

"Mer… It is going to be ok, I promise."

"I hope so…" Meredith began looking back up just as Cristina's pager started to beep.

"It's the ER, I have to go. Are you going to be ok?"

"Yeah, I am going to quickly head to daycare and check in on Lia." Meredith stood up, grabbing her bag and began to move towards the exit of the canteen.

"You not going to eat some more?" Cristina asked following her.

"Not hungry. I already ate all your fries and your pudding. So far no sickness, I don't want to push my luck."

"I tell you what, I will come home tonight and we can get pizza, we will order in?"

"That sounds fab, thanks…" Meredith began as Cristina's pager sounded once again.

"It's now 911, got to run, give the pip squeak a hug from me. See you later!" Cristina called out as she rushed off towards the ER.

"I will do, see you later," Meredith called after her as she stopped by the elevator but suddenly decided upon taking the stairs instead. She needed the exercise, it would do both her and the baby some good. Upon entering the stairwell she immediately regretted her decision when she saw who was walking down the stairs.

"I wondered when I was going to bump into you."

"Look, Rose, I am really not in the mood, I am on my way up to daycare to see my daughter…"

"Awww how sweet."

"Yeah it is, now if you don't mind, can you please get out of my way?"

"I will get out of your way when you get out of mine."

"What are you talking about? You are the one who is preventing me from walking up the stairs."

"You know full well what I am talking about. I want you to stay away from my boyfriend."

"Ah I see, so this is about Derek? Well apart from passing him in the corridor and at the chief's meetings I have not seen him in two weeks. Now, if you don't mind me, I am off to see my daughter." Meredith sidestepped Rose and brushed past her as she walked up the stairs to the first landing that Rose had just walked down from.

"Not so fast. You expect me to believe that?" Rose asked as she began to walk back up the stairs towards Meredith, stopping two steps from the landing where she was standing.

"Believe what you want to believe, I am telling you the truth." Meredith knew that she could wind Rose up some more and she was almost tempted to do it but she remembered what Derek had said about the pregnancy being high risk. She didn't want to bring any harm to his unborn child.

"Are you still sleeping with him?"

"No, I am not, but if you are feeling that insecure go and have this conversation with him. I really do not have the time or energy for this…" Meredith started as she began to walk away.

"Oh no you don't!" Rose demanded as she reached forward to grab hold of Meredith's arm but as she did so she totally lost her footing on the step and tumbled backwards, falling down the flight of stairs. Her ass bumping on each one as she went down before she landed face down at the bottom.

"Oh my God, Rose!" Meredith shouted as she rushed down to her, just as Rose slowly turned over.

"Dr. Grey, is she ok?" A voice came from above Meredith, where she had originally been standing.

She looked up, it was one of the interns. "Dr. Moswell, can you page Dr. Shepherd and Obs. and Gynie immediately please…"

"Only Addison, just get Addison…" Rose said as she tried to get up.

"Rose, you need to stay still. Derek would want to be here…"

"Look, I just want Addison…"

Meredith could see that Rose was getting distressed so in an attempt to keep her as calm as possible she agreed. "Ok, Dr. Moswell, page only Dr. Montgomery."

"Sure," the intern said as he took off back up the stairs.

"Rose, where is it hurting?"

"Leave me alone, you have done enough…" Rose started to say but was interrupted as Derek suddenly entered the stairwell.

"What the hell happened!" he demanded as he took in the sight before him. The elevator had been taking ages so he had decided to use the stairs.

"Derek, you need to keep calm…" Meredith said trying to calm him down. "I have sent an intern to have Dr. Montgomery paged, she should be here shortly…"

"No, she won't, her and Dr. Yang are stuck in an emergency surgery. They have only just gone in."

"Derek, I am ok… I can wait for Addison. It's mainly my ankle and wrist that are giving me problems…"

"Are you crazy? You fell down the stairs, we need to get the baby checked out."

"No, Derek we need to call security. This wasn't an accident, she pushed me," Rose nodded in Meredith's direction.

"What?" Meredith asked in an astonished tone, she could not believe her ears.

"She is jealous, Derek, she hates that I am having your baby…"

"Is she telling the truth?" Derek asked looking Meredith in the eye.

"How can you ask me that?"

"Why would she say it if it wasn't true?"

"I don't know, maybe she hit her head or she needs a psych consult…"

"Dr. Mont… Dr. Montgomery i- is in theatre, Dr. Robins is on her way," Dr. Mosswell stated as he came back.

"Derek, I really want to wait for Addison," Rose said as she tried again to sit up, she was looking extremely panicked. "Ouch!" she exclaimed.

"Rose, don't move. Is it the baby?" Derek asked as his hand flew to her stomach.

Meredith stood back watching his hand as her own hand flew to her belly, she couldn't stop the tears from rushing to her eyes as an overwhelming need spread through her for her to feel his hand join hers.

"No, it's my ankle, I am sure the baby is fine… I don't have any pain. I didn't even hit my stomach. Can we get my ankle seen to first? I am in agony…"

Watching the scene something just didn't look right. Rose seemed to be trying to put off having her baby looked at. Meredith knew that if it was her, the baby would be her first and only concern. "Rose, I think you are mistaken, your back collided heavily with the step as you went down and you fell straight onto your stomach…"

"What the hell is your problem? You suddenly have an attack of your conscience for pushing me? Derek, please call security…"

"Dr. Shepherd… hmmm sorry sir, she is mistaken. I entered the stairwell just before she fell, Dr. Grey was nowhere near her. In fact from what I saw, she only fell because she tried to grab hold of Dr. Grey."

"What would you know! You are just a stupid intern!"

"Rose, calm down, we can talk about this later…"

"I came as quickly as I could… Have you spotted any bleeding?" Dr. Robbins asked as she rushed through the door.

"No, look I am fine. Addison will check me over when she is out of surgery."

"I know you feel comfortable with Dr. Montgomery but she will be in there for hours from what I've heard. I want to make sure our baby is ok now."

"And I am inclined to agree, my intern is just getting a gurney and then we will take you to an exam room."

"Ok but I want you to examine me alone." Rose demanded.

Meredith didn't miss the look of panic that was etched across Rose's features. She was completely baffled by her behavior, Rose was more concerned about anyone other than Addison examining her than she was about her own unborn child. And now there was a sheer panic written across her face and she didn't even want Derek at the sonogram. Something seemed very off…

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><p><strong>So dun dun dun... What now? As always I would love some feedback. Also let me know if you would like a teaser from the next update, please remember that in order for me to send you a teaser unfortunately you have to leave a review having signed in so I can send the teaser as a PM.<strong>

** How did you find the premier of Greys? Was it just me or did everyone think Derek was an Ass! LOL**

**Jen xx**


	33. Chapter 33

**I had some amazing comments following the last update, thank you all for your kind words. You are the reason I keep posting and writing for this story.**

**Message for a member named Inkball who requested a teaser; I tried to send this through to you but I think you have the option to receive personal messages disabled in your settings as my message to you would not go through.**

**So I hope the below chapter leaves you feeling slightly more satisfied...**

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><p>Chapter 33<p>

"Look, Derek, I am fine, honestly. I am sure that you have a patient out there who needs you…"

"And I've told you already that no patient comes before my baby. What's the hold up, Arizona?"

"Urm, how many weeks pregnant did you say you were?" Dr. Robins asked as she squinted her eyes at the screen on the monitor.

"She is just over 10 weeks, what's the problem? Is the baby ok?"

"You can usually spot the embryo using the transabdominal scan at over 8 weeks gestation, but I am not picking anything up."

"What does that mean? Is the baby ok? Has it been injured in her fall?" Derek frantically fired off questions as Rose laid there waiting for her lies to crumble around her.

"It may just be that the baby is a little on the small side. I will do a transvaginal scan, that will pick it up. Now, Derek, can you help her remove her scrub pants and underwear and place this sheet across her?"

"Sure…"

"Don't worry, it's unusual but it does happen. Ok, Rose, you're all set, I am inserting the probe now."

Rose suddenly let out a gasp as an image filled the screen, she was pregnant her plan had worked. "Look, there it is, the baby's fine. Addison can do a more thorough scan…"

"It looks different from before?" Derek said in a puzzled tone as a matching confused frown marred his features.

"There must be some confusion with your dates, there is no way this baby is of 10 weeks gestation."

"With all due respect, Dr. Robins, you are hardly top of your field, Addison is an expert."

"I may not have as many qualifications as Dr. Montgomery but I have enough training to be able to distinguish a 3 week embryo sac from that of a 10 week old fetus. Look, the yoke sac is still present, even I know that at ten weeks a fully developed placenta would have formed."

"W- what, 3 week…? What are you talking about, Arizona?" Derek asked.

"Well, see for yourself Derek, even though I am sure it has been a while since you have done your gynie rotation, I am sure you can see what I am talking about…"

"Listen, can you get that probe out of me now? You do not know what the hell you are talking about. Derek, I will get Addison to examine me."

Derek ignored Rose as he took a step closer to the monitor screen.

"I don't understand," he nodded to Dr. Robins confirming that he had seen what she had. He watched her pull the probe out. "I saw Rose's scan over a month ago, the baby was almost 5 weeks gestation then…"

"I wish I had answers for you…" Dr. Robbins turned to face Rose expectantly, waiting for her to fill in the blanks.

"Arizona, can you leave us alone please?" Derek asked.

"Sure. Derek, I am sorry."

He waited for Dr. Robins to leave before he spoke. "What the hell is going on?"

"Derek, it is a misunderstanding, she is wrong…"

"No, Rose, I saw the scan for myself. The pregnancy in your stomach is not even far enough established for the embryo to be clearly seen. All there is, is the sac…"

"Well, maybe something went wrong, Derek, the baby may have stopped growing… Oh, Derek, I am so sorry."

"That could possibly make sense…"

"We can always try for another one…"

"You didn't let me finish… That could have made sense if I had not already seen a scan where the baby you were carrying was already a developed embryo. What the hell is going on? And don't you dare think about lying to me!"

"Derek, I don't know…"

"Quit playing games! You lied to me, didn't you? And your friend Dr. Montgomery helped you…"

"Derek… I…"

"You what? Come on, Rose, you weren't at such a loss for words almost two months ago now when you were telling me that you were pregnant with my child."

"Derek, I am sorry…"

"You're sorry? So it's true? Why would you do that to me? Why would anybody do that?"

"Because I didn't want to lose you, I love you and then she waltzed in here and all of sudden you were sniffing around her like a lost puppy dog!"

"You were in love with me? We had been screwing each other for just over a month, that's hardly time to fall that desperately in love. Meredith and I have known each other practically our entire lives, she is my soul mate, now that is what you call love. You did this because of Meredith?"

"You were going to leave me for her…"

"How could you do this to me!" Derek screamed as he swiped his hand across a table holding a tray of surgical instruments, causing the tray to fly off and the contents to fall to the floor clattering loudly.

"Derek, please, you are scaring me!" Rose winced as she moved, her ankle was giving her serious pain.

"I'm scaring you? Well I think you would have rather it was that tray I hit instead of it being you. I was raised never to lay a finger on a woman but trust me, never have I ever wanted to hit a woman in my entire life as much as I want to hit you right now." Derek's knuckles were white where he was clenching his fists so tightly.

"Please… I know you're angry but we can work this out."

"Tell me everything from the start," he asked as he unclenched his fists and put his hands into his scrub pants.

"And then you will give me another chance?"

"Sure. I want to give you another chance but only if you are completely honest with me now."

"Well, I was desperate, I know you said we had not been seeing each other long. But when it's the one, time is no barrier. How long did it take you to fall in love with Meredith? See… I can see by your face that you fell instantly. That's what it was like for me. When I found out that you two had slept together it destroyed me, I was a mess. I went to see Addison. I told her what happened and when I mentioned Meredith's name she told me that she knew of her and that she was a nasty piece of work. She then said that I couldn't let her win you and if I stood back and did nothing she would. She convinced me to fake being pregnant, she said she would help me. She altered a patient's sonogram and injected me with fertility drugs and said that all I had to do was get you to have unprotected sex with me."

It all made sense to Derek, now thinking back, his gut feeling had been telling him that something was wrong. "So the sonogram I saw that day?"

"It was a recording… I am sorry, you have to believe me, I never meant to hurt you and I thought that if I could just get you to sleep with me, but…"

"I wouldn't sleep with you, we have not had sex in over six weeks. I couldn't, not since Meredith, and you knew that, you knew how I felt about her. If you cared half as much about me as you claim to, you would have been able to see that me not being with her was destroying me. You didn't care though, you were going to try to pass off somebody else's baby as mine…" Derek said that as a statement not a question, there was no doubt in his mind that that was what she was going to do.

"I got desperate, I thought that if I could get you to sleep with me, then a little lie would not matter. I would have been pregnant with your baby…"

"Little lie?" Derek suddenly burst out laughing. "God if you call that a little lie, I would hate to see what you would call a big one. Oh wait a minute… I can already guess that one. The big lie would have been you having me raising a child that was not even mine… But then again, you would have considered that a small white lie, wouldn't you? So who is the father?" Derek continued when she didn't answer. "You don't even know, do you?"

"I was desperate, I didn't want to lose you. I know I could have faked a miscarriage and I wanted to but Addison said that would not work. She said that the second you knew I was no longer pregnant with your baby, you would leave me and go back to Meredith, especially with her husband being out of the picture. Addison hates her as much as I do. God, Derek, I tried so hard to get you to sleep with me. Believe me, your baby was the only one I wanted to carry. I hated having sex with those other men but I had no choice and in my heart, this child, it's yours, Derek. It's your baby, we can make it work, no one will ever have to know any different."

"Do you know how sick that sounds? You are way more delusional than I thought!" Both of their attention was drawn to the door that suddenly burst open.

"What is going on in here?" Richard demanded. "Shep, I could hear you shouting from outside."

"God, I don't even know where to begin," Derek said shaking his head, as his hands moved wildly through his hair. "I need to get out of here…"

"Derek, no! You can't leave me! You said we could work it out!"

"Well here's a newsflash for you, you are not the only one who is capable of lying." Derek moved his hand back to his pocket and pulled out his digital recorder, hitting rewind and at the same time thanking God that he had still had it with him after he had finished dictating some trial work.

"But I am pregnant!"

"Not with my baby, you aren't… Here, Chief, I suggest you have a listen to that. I am out of here and I trust you to deal with both her and Dr. Montgomery, because trust me, if I see either of them again soon, I won't be held responsible for my actions." Derek then walked out of the room slamming the door after him as he went. He could hear Rose screaming out his name as he walked off down the hallway.

The Chief looked at Rose, a puzzled expression marring his features, as he hit play on the digital recorder…

_"Sure. I want to give you another chance but only if you are completely honest with me now."_

"_Well I was desperate, I know you said we had not been seeing each other long. But when it's the one, time is no barrier. How long did it take you to fall in love with Meredith? See… I can see by your face that you fell instantly. That's what it was like for me. When I found out that you two had slept together it destroyed me, I was a mess. I went to see Addison. I told her what happened and when I mentioned Meredith's name she told me that she knew of her and that she was a nasty piece of work. She then said that I couldn't let her win you and if I stood back and did nothing she would. She convinced me to fake being pregnant, she said she would help me. She altered a __patient's__ sonogram and injected me with fertility drugs and said that all I had to do was get you to have unprotected sex with me." _

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><p><strong>So as always would love to hear your comments, A Merder conversation coming up in the next update; let me know if you would like a teaser...<strong>

**Jen xx**_  
><em>


	34. Chapter 34

**Wow thank you for the overwhelming response to the last update. Because so many of you have asked for teasers in comments and PMs I am just going to give you the update now**.

**I really hope it meets with your expectations, the update got a little long so I had to split into two.**

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><p>Chapter 34<p>

It had not taken much for Meredith to persuade Richard to give her Derek's address. It had been two days since Rose had fallen down the stairs and two days since the rumors had started to circulate around the hospital. Both Rose and Addison had been suspended from work pending an enquiry. Meredith was completely disgusted when Richard had informed her about exactly what had gone down. He had taken a risk in telling her the full story and in letting her hear Derek's recording, but he knew how close she and Derek were and as he put it, "_If anyone could bring him back from drowning his sorrows in the woods__,__ it would be her." _So that was where she was currently headed and it was a location she knew only too well.

When they were younger, she and Derek had a spot on this particular piece of land that they always used to escape to. When Richard had given her the address, she had questioned it, she couldn't believe that Derek had brought it. She was even more amazed when Richard informed her that he in fact owned the complete forty acres of land. It was ironic because there was a similar piece of land out in Bainbridge Island in Seattle that Meredith had purchased because it reminded her so much of their favorite spot.

As she entered onto the driveway, she squinted her eyes as she looked for a house, but to her surprise all she could see was a silver airstream trailer. As soon as she saw the trailer, she stopped looking, it was just so Derek and that warmed her heart deeply. And there he was, he had just exited the trailer with a beer in his hand as she pulled her car to a rolling stop.

"Meredith, I am really not in the best mood for company now," he stated as soon as she exited the car.

"I know."

"But you're still here anyway?"

"I had to come… And I must say, I love the land," Meredith said with a sparkle in her eyes as they clashed with Derek's and there was a brief reminiscence shared between them.

"I thought you would… I take it you heard," he said as a statement rather than as a question.

She walked up onto the decking outside the trailer to join him. "I am really sorry, Derek."

"Yeah that's what she said too…" he took a huge gulp of beer, downing half the bottle in one drink.

"Yeah well I am not her, am I?"

"Meredith, you didn't have to come out here…"

"Well, I wanted to… Derek, please… let me be there for you?"

"Look, you rightly pointed out a few weeks back that it was not my job to take care of you anymore, it cuts both ways. You should go… I am sure you could have plans with Dr. Sloan."

"You hurt me, Derek, and I said that out of anger. I am not going anywhere…"

"Well, I am sure your new boyfriend will have something to say about that. Meredith, just go, I would hate to cause problems."

"Are you deaf as well as stupid? I told you I am staying put and you can quit being a jerk right now. Mark Sloan is not my boyfriend… a good friend, yes, but most certainly not a boyfriend. And even if he was, stop lying, you would just love to cause problems between us."

"What was he then? Just a one night stand?"

"If you weren't hurting so badly right now, I would really cause you physical harm for that comment."

"I already experienced that and you're correct; if I was not in so much pain right now, I would probably still be able to feel the sting from that slap you gave me," Derek frantically swiped at the tears that had pooled in his eyes. Meredith was always able to break down every one of his defenses.

"Oh Derek," she stepped closer to him and pulled him into her embrace. His arms automatically wrapped around her as his body molded against hers and he buried his head into her shoulder, his nose went into her hair as he sought out the scent that always calmed him.

"Derek…" she rubbed her hands up and down his back. "Mark and I…" she automatically felt his body tense up, so hurried with the next part of her sentence. "I swear there is nothing going on between us, there never was. What you thought you saw, you couldn't have been more wrong."

She felt his body relax against hers just before he pulled back and looked into her eyes. He tightened his hold around her waist as he brought his head down to meet hers and their lips fused together. His tongue instantly sought out hers, he needed nothing more in that moment than to get lost in Meredith.

As soon as Meredith felt Derek's lips grinding against hers, his tongue trying to gain access, she felt her lips instantly part and allow him that access. The kiss immediately grew extremely heated, Meredith's fingers were wound tightly in Derek's curls and were frantically tugging at them. Her body had become incredibly heated at being pressed so tightly up against Derek's. As much as her body craved and needed him she had to stop, this could come later they had to talk first. "Derek…" she firmly said, well at least she had intended it to be firm but it came out as more of a moan.

"Mer…" he moaned back in an equal tone.

"No Derek… Stop, we have to stop," Meredith panted as she pulled away from him.

"Wh- what's wrong?" he gasped out, equally as breathless.

"We can't."

"Yes, we can." Derek took a step towards Meredith and tried to pull her back into his embrace. He brushed his lips over hers, she kissed him back briefly before pulling back away.

"Mer…" he groaned in frustration.

"No, Derek, you are feeling hurt and…"

"Not when I am with you, you make it all better. You make everything disappear." He reached back out for her but she grasped hold of his hand firmly and held it still, which prevented him from pulling her back into him.

"Derek, please, we need to talk."

"We can talk later." He pulled on her hand and before she knew it, Derek's lips were moving up and down her neck. "Talking can come later…"

"No, Derek!" This time she forcibly pushed him away. "I have something to tell you and if you still want to do this after, then I will be more than happy."

"What do we have to talk about? You said you're not seeing Dr. Sloan… unless, God… you are not with someone else, are you?" He began to pace the decking.

"No, it's nothing like that, I swear…"

"Then what is it? You know that you can say anything to me."

"God, I swore I wasn't going to tell you this today. I wanted to wait. I mean, you have gone through a lot in the last few days and I don't know if you are even ready to hear it. But being here with you, being us, I can't not tell you…" Meredith was suddenly cut off by Derek's mouth on hers, she hadn't even noticed that he had moved so close to her.

He cupped her face into his hands and looked into her eyes. "You're rambling and as cute and adorable as I find it, I just want you to spit it out and tell me what it is that is bothering you."

Meredith took a deep breath as tears gathered in her eyes. "I'm- I'm pregnant, you are going to be a father after all."

He let go of her and walked away from her again and he began to pace.

"Derek, you are scaring me, please say something."

He suddenly burst out into a fit of laughter that made her nervous. "Are you joking? Meredith, given the circumstances it isn't a very appropriate joke."

"Derek, look at me, I wouldn't joke about something like that. I am being serious. You know me, I wouldn't ever lie to you."

"You're really pregnant? With my child?" he asked taking a step towards her.

"Yes, I am."

Derek was suddenly in front of Meredith wiping the tears from her eyes. "God Mer, I can't- I can't even begin to explain what is going through my head right now and what I am feeling. When? I mean how far along?"

"Six weeks, the date of conception is estimated as being our first reunion in your office."

"When did you find out?"

"Two weeks ago, the day you saw me coming out of the on-call room with Mark. He forced me to go and take a pregnancy test, he saw me when I was pregnant with Lia…"

"So Mark knew before I did?"

"Derek, you don't get to be pissed at that, every part of me wanted to tell you but I couldn't, not then. I was just so confused, you told me you were staying with Rose. And it's not like I actively sought Mark out to tell him, he worked it out. As I was saying, he was around during my pregnancy with Lia, apparently I already have developed disgusting eating habits."

"You have always had disgusting eating habits…"

"Hey that's not nice!" she pouted as she punched Derek in the shoulder.

He caught her hand and gently ran his thumb across her knuckles. "Mer, if you had told me, there would have been no doubt about it, I would have chosen you. You know that, right?"

"Part of me did, but the pregnancy hormonal, emotional part of me was scared. And also…" Meredith began to nervously bite her bottom lip as she thought about how to word the next part.

"Meredith, what is it?" he gave her hand a gentle squeeze to brush his thumb over her cheekbone as he pushed behind her ear a strand of her hair that had fallen free.

"You had said that her pregnancy was high risk and any emotional stress could have caused her to miscarry. I- I didn't want to be responsible for you losing another child."

"Oh Mer." Derek pulled her into a tight embrace as he kissed the top of her head. "Losing our first child was not your fault, we had no choice…"

"I know but it still feels like it is sometimes… God, I can't believe she went to those lengths to fake a pregnancy."

"Well, she would have had to because when she showed me the sonogram picture I was not entirely convinced then, I had been careful with her. We never once had unprotected sex and I always made a habit to check the condom after. Speaking of condoms we never used any, I just assumed you were protected…"

"I was… or at least I should have been, I guess with all the stress I forgot to take one or two pills. It just completely slipped my mind and our times together, they were not entirely planned, were they?"

Derek smiled at her. "Mer, I am sorry to ask this and I know that you would never purposely lie to me, but with everything I have been through, I need to know… God, I don't think it will really even matter but I have to ask…"

"You want to know if there is any chance that that the baby is Matt's, don't you?"

Derek nodded his head, "I am sorry."

"Don't be, I was married, it is a reasonable question. But Derek, let me reassure you that I am without a doubt, 100 percent certain, that you are the father of my baby. Matt and I had not had sex in a long while… I guess that should have been a clue he was getting it elsewhere, well more fool me hey…"

"You are not a fool, he is the one who was the fool. How could he possibly want to go elsewhere when he had you? But if it helps, I am a fool too, so we have both been made fools of recently. We are in a unique club…"

"Derek, you are not a fool, what she and Addison did was unbelievable. I mean how were you to know any different? They actually faked a sonogram…"

"That's out over the hospital too?"

"Umm I am not sure, Richard told me that part. But they have both been suspended from duty whilst an enquiry is being carried out. Which I tell you Addison should thank her lucky stars that she is out of that hospital and that I do not have her home address. Richard played me your recording. To me it sounds that if it had been any other woman, Addison would not have helped her. She did say she would get her revenge. I am so sorry, Derek, I can't help but feel slightly to blame…"

"Hey, no, you don't, you don't need to put anymore guilt on yourself. They are the ones to blame. As far as I am concerned, they are both a bunch of whack jobs who belong in a psych ward. I am curious though and have been since I saw you arguing with Addison, what is the deal there? How do you two know each other?"

"Well I couldn't agree more with you there, they both need to be committed. Addison started her internship at Seattle Grace with me. One day I had lost a patient and I was a little upset so I went up to the maternity floor to look at the babies… and I see that look of bemusement on your face. They just have a way of calming me down… You know they are just so innocent, the world has not had a chance to harm them yet.

"Yeah I know what you mean."

"Well anyway, I noticed that there was this one baby who was turning blue, so I went to have a look as I couldn't see the intern who was supposed to be there. That intern was Addison. I listened to the baby's chest and could quite clearly hear a mid-section diastolic murmur. When Addison showed up, and it was pretty obvious what she had been up to, she was a whore sleeping with everyone and anyone in the hospital, anyway she immediately questioned what I was doing there and I raised my concerns with her regarding the baby. She just completely brushed them aside that there was nothing wrong with the baby. Apparently, she hadn't reported it to an attending because she had not had the time. And it was easy to see why that was, she had no intention of reporting it. I left the maternity unit and went straight to an attending. It turned out that the baby had a birth defect and was suffering with pulmonary valve stenosis."

"Oh God…"

"Yeah, exactly. The baby 'Thomas', he went into heart failure just before we had put him under. We were too late. If Addison had been doing her job right, he would have stood a much greater chance of surviving. As a result, she got kicked out of the program and has hated yours truly ever since."

"What a bitch!"

"Yes, and I am praying that I get to see her when she comes into the hospital for the investigation…"

"Oh no, you don't, you need to stay away from her and not bring undue stress on yourself." Derek's hand fell to her stomach, instantly joined by hers, as a smile washed over her face.

"You're going to be one of those dads, aren't you? Be all protective?"

"You bet your ass I am. Besides, let Richard deal with Addison, she has got to lose her medical license for good this time. We can then be rest assured that there will not be any more victims in her wake."

"You're wrong there though… there is going to be at least one more victim. Rose is actually pregnant. That poor baby has been brought into this world as part of a sick game. That baby is going to be the biggest victim in all of this. God I hope Richard reports her and psych gets that baby taken away from her after it's born."

"Well that's assuming she has the baby. I don't really see her as the single parent type and you know what? It's no longer my concern because she is not having my baby, you are and looking at it now, it has worked out for the best." Derek quickly brushed his lips over Meredith's.

"It's scary though, Der, I mean what if you didn't find out?"

"You mean what if you didn't push her down the stairs out of a fit of jealousy? I guess I should thank you…"

Meredith hit him in the chest. "That is not funny, I can't believe that she come out with that. And you, I couldn't believe that you actually asked me if it was true…"

"Meredith, of course I didn't think you would do a thing like that… Well not to a pregnant woman anyway…"

"Yeah, you have got that right because if I were to see Addison, being pushed down the stairs by me would be the last of her worries."

"I am sorry I asked you if it was true, I was in shock and at the time, my only concern was my supposed 'baby'."

"Sssh Derek, it's ok… I know and I forgive you." Meredith lent forward and captured his lips.

"God… you are really having my baby!" he said with a huge smile and tears in his eyes as he pulled back from the kiss, keeping her firmly in his embrace as one hand went back down to her stomach.

"Yes," she replied with equal tears contained within her own eyes. "But, Derek, we need to go slow… I mean I know the fact we are having a baby together is not exactly slow but I have Lia to think about and we have been apart for nearly twenty years, there are things we do not know about each other and you hurt me. The things you said to me Derek… I-…"

"Meredith, I am sorry, I was jealous and you still do know me… Think about it… how hot headed was I when I lost my temper when I was younger? Remember Josh Harrison?"

"Oh God, I forgot all about him…"

"Well I haven't and if I saw him today I would still want to punch him again…"

"You were an idiot at times back then too…"

"And that's my point, I am still the same person but I promise I will do my best to contain my jealousy. It's just… nothing has changed where you are concerned. I still feel the same possessiveness towards you now as I did back then. And I guess this time it was worse because I couldn't mark you as my territory…"

She looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Mark me as your territory?"

"Oh come on, you know what I mean, you are mine, you always have been, just as I have always been yours. Even though twenty years have gone by in between, nothing changed throughout that time."

"I know what you mean… Even though I got married, I never ever gave myself completely; there was a part of me that always belonged to you."

"God, I love you so much." He pulled her even more tightly into his body.

"I love you too." Meredith looked up to him and captured his lips with hers.

Before the kiss could develop any further, he pulled back. "So we will take this as slowly as two people who are having a baby together can take it. I will wait as long as it takes, we go at your pace…"

"And there definitely aren't going to be any more women popping out of the woodwork claiming to be pregnant with your offspring?" Meredith giggled.

"That is not even funny, but I promise there will be no one else."

"Good."

"It is good." He placed a quick chaste kiss to her lips. "Come with me." He said as he let go of her and took hold of her hand to lead her off of the decking area.

"Where are we going?"

"I have something I want to show you…"

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><p><strong>So desperate to know what you think? Their talk will continue in the next update, let me know if you would like a teaser...<strong>

**Jen xx**


	35. Chapter 35

**I really can not say enough about how much I appreciate your comments**, **they are truly keeping me motivated in continuing to post this story.**

**This is a message for Hockeyplayer I am sorry I was unable to send you the teaser that you requested, you have your ability to receive PM's disabled on your settings so the message would not go through.**

**The below update took a long time to write and I hope I did the chapter justice and that you enjoy it as much as the previous one.**

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><p>Chapter 35<p>

Meredith couldn't help the smile that was on her face as she held Derek's hand allowing him to lead her down the bank towards a lake. For the first time in a long while it actually seemed like things might turn out ok. She was puzzled at first as to what it was he had to show her until her eyes caught on the most beautiful tree she had ever seen. It was over looking the water and she immediately felt her eyes begin to prickle with tears as she took in the sight of the most amazing display of white and pink flowers which had blossomed all over it and the scattered petals on the ground surrounding it. Their unborn baby… she remembered Derek had told her he had planted a tree in memory of the baby.

"It's a 'wild cherry tree'…"

"The love tree…" Meredith said as the tears that had gathered in her eyes began to spill over down her cheeks.

Derek pulled her close to him, her back against his chest as his hands went down to her stomach and he kissed the top of her head, desperately trying to control his own tears. "I thought it would be a long lasting reminder of the love we had for one another and the love we had for our baby even though we never got to meet it…"

"Oh Derek… it's beautiful…" Meredith wiped the tears from her eyes before she turned in Derek's arms to face him. She lent forward and gently brushed her lips over his. "Wh- when did you plant it?" Meredith asked as she pulled back from the kiss. Her eyes remaining locked with Derek's, his arms still wrapped around her waist.

"After you left I spent every free moment down here, it was the only place I could really feel close to you. About a month after you went I decided to plant the tree to help keep the memory of our baby and of our love alive. I thought about you constantly and I missed you so much."

"Oh Derek…" Meredith reached up and bushed away his tears with the back of her fingers. "I thought about you all the time too and part of me wishes that we could go back but if I did that then I wouldn't have Lia. I think that we have to believe that everything happens for a reason and now…"

"We can have our shot at a life together… This baby…" Derek begun as he moved his hand down and placed it on her stomach, the place that housed their unborn baby. "Can never replace the one which we lost, but Mer… God it's a miracle and I strongly believe that it was meant to be this way. We have another shot Mer, our second chance and I am not going to let anyone do anything to take it away from us."

"Our second chance…" Meredith smiled as she put her hand down to join Derek's. "Derek I want this, you have to believe it but I meant what I said about taking things slowly... Lia has always been my main priority I don't know how she is going to take having to share me with a baby. So much is changing in her life…"

"Mer I completely understand… What I said before stands we can take things as slowly as both you and Lia need. You need to know that I meant everything I said a month or so ago too. I will love Lia like she was my own daughter. I know I can never replace her father but I promise you she will never feel any less loved than the baby."

"I know Derek… Thank you." Meredith smiled at him and lent forward gently pressing her lips against his.

"No need to thank me, she is such a great kid…" Derek stated as he pulled back. "And she is a part of you, how can I not love her already? I know it will be difficult, she has just lost her father and she may not take to me being a part of your lives so soon… but…."

"Derek, ssh…" Meredith placed her index finger to Derek's lips. "Lia already adores you in fact she already asked me if you can be her new Daddy…" Meredith giggled as she recalled the conversation with Lia after her surgery…

"_Nu huh," Lia said pulling back from Meredith and looking up at her face, a little frown immediately crossing her features. "Mommy I had to make Daddy pinky swears one was that we couldn't be sad. Daddy is always with us in our hearts even if we cannot see him. So no being sad Mommy." Lia scolded, and Meredith couldn't help but giggle at the seriousness on her face. "And you need to find me a new Daddy."_

_If Meredith was shocked before, Lia's last declaration sent her level of surprise to new levels. She was completely flabbergasted and couldn't even begin to find a way to respond to her. _

_Lia continued as Meredith remained silent. "I pinky sweared to Daddy that I would give you his message, he said that it was ok for you to give me a new Daddy. I really need a new Daddy Mommy and I know how about Mr. Derek? I really like him and he doesn't already have any kids, so he needs some."_

"She did?" Derek asked and was feeling surprised by the tears that had suddenly gathered once again in his eyes.

"She did. So I think Lia will be just fine with you but we still need to take it slowly. Rediscover each other."

"I am all up for taking it slow and rediscovering each other…." Derek said suggestively.

"Derek!" Meredith admonished swatting at his arm.

"What?" Derek asked around a laugh.

"We are trying to have a serious conversation here and here you are dirtying it up."

"I am sorry, I just could not resist that one." Derek moved his hands to tighten them around her waist bringing her body against his. He dipped his head down and captured her lips with his, Meredith instantly responded to the Kiss. Meredith moved her arms up around his neck as her fingernails scraped across his scalp as she massaged it with her fingers.

"Hmmm… Mer…." Derek moaned and groaned at the same time as he pulled Meredith against his erection that had already fully formed.

"Der…" Meredith moaned equally as loud as she felt Derek's erection poking into her abdomen. She thrust her tongue deep and hard into his mouth mimicking his actions as she raised one leg, wrapping it around his thigh bringing his cock into direct contact with her center. She was feeling tingling sensations rushing from her core to the rest of her body. It felt so good but something told her that should not be doing this where they were. She was pregnant they should be slightly careful at least… and not to mention their unborn baby's memorial tree was merely a few steps away. "S- stop, we h-have to stop…" She panted as she pulled her mouth away from his.

"S- sorry…" Derek panted, he was equally as breathless, "'T- too fast?" He questioned.

"No, the pace is fine Derek, I want this…" Meredith cupped his face in her hands forcing him to look into her eyes, she could see the confusion evident in them. "But not here…"

Derek seemed to instantly understand. "Of course not we need to play it safe…" Derek placed a quick kiss on her lips. "Let's go inside…" He gently helped Meredith to lower her leg back down to the floor before breaking their embrace and taking her hand as he begun to lead her back to towards his home.

"Speaking of inside… A trailer?" Meredith giggled… "Seriously?"

"Hey don't knock it until you see it."

"As soon as I saw the trailer when I drove up the drive I knew that it was your home and that I was not going to find a house. It is just so you. I remember on your 18th birthday when you tried to convince your parent's to buy you one to live in, in your back yard. I still remember your Dad's face, I guess it is just as well that you don't talk to him now, he would have had an heart attack." Meredith smiled weakly at the memory, it was not that long after when their lives went to hell.

"Hey, no sad thoughts allowed tonight…" Derek said as they came to a stop in front of the trailer. "We have a second shot at things and I swear to you that no one will ruin it for us this time. In seven and a half month's time we will have our baby just like we should have done all those years ago. I strongly believe that this baby is our shot at putting the past behind us… it is going to help us to heal and help us to finally let go."

"I hope so…" Meredith squeezed his hand as she tried to fight off her emotions.

"Did it hurt less when you had Lia?"

"Not at first… I just felt so guilty…"

"Oh Mer…"

"You know I am ashamed to admit it but I even allowed my guilt to affect my bonding with Lia in the beginning. Don't get me wrong I loved her instantly but I held myself back and the only time I would hold her at first was when she was feeding. I got diagnosed with having postnatal depression and I went to see a counselor, she helped heaps… I was then able to let go of some of my guilt…"

"Mer… if only things had been different, I hate so much that you went through that. God even to this day I hate them for what they made us do." Derek pulled Meredith into a tight embrace.

"Me too…" Meredith whispered as she blinked back the tears that gathered in her eyes.

"This time though at the risk of sounding like a broken record no one is coming between us and no one can take our baby away."

"I really hope you are right."

"I know I am right." Derek kissed her on the forehead as he pulled back and let go of her as he took her hand. "Let's go inside so I can give you a proper tour." Derek led her inside and smiled at the amused look that had graced Meredith's face. "So… what do you think?"

"It's small, but like I already said… it's strangely you." Meredith turned facing Derek and moved into his embrace, her arms wrapping firmly around his waist.

"That's what Amelia say's too. Nancy she thinks I need Kathleen's services." Derek chuckled as he tightened his hold briefly on Meredith.

"Nancy would… God I didn't realize just how much I missed your sisters until now. I wonder what they are going to say?"

"I think after the initial teasing they are going to be happy for us. They are going to be shocked, they don't know about Rose yet and what she did…."

"Did you tell your Mom and the rest of your sisters about the supposed baby? I know Amy knew already…"

"I did…" Derek said gently.

"What did they say?"

"Well I got the same treatment from the rest of the sisters as I did from Amy. In other words they slapped me and called me an idiot. Mom was happy but concerned. She knew I didn't love Rose so she was worried. You came up a few times."

"Me?"

"As much as I hate to admit my Mom knows me all too well, she knows us too well… She was concerned that I would not be able to remain faithful as long as you and I were in 100 kilometers of each other. And I hate to admit but I think she was right…"

"Well thank God we don't have to worry about me becoming the other woman now… Because Der she probably was right, no matter how good our intentions or principles were I don't think I would have been able to stay away from you."

Derek smiled before tilting his head down and kissing Meredith, gently caressing her lips with his. He saw her frown slightly as he pulled back. "Are you ok?"

"Urm yes… right on cue," Meredith said as she glanced at her watch. "Your child seems to be like clock work, I have been feeling sick at the same time in the afternoon and in the evening everyday.

"Come and sit down," Derek led her to the bed and guided her down to sit on it. "Can I get you anything?"

"Maybe just some water, it will pass shortly. Thankfully it's only really bad in the evening."

"Water I can do… wait here I will be right back." Derek kissed her on the top of her head before he went to get her water.

"Der do you have any crackers?" Meredith called to him as he grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and a glass from the cupboard.

"You know I think I do," Derek began to search the cupboards, "ah you are in luck. What else helps, I will stock up." Derek asked as he begun to walk back towards her.

"Derek…"

"Please just humor me…" Derek kissed the top of her head again as he sat down next to her on his bed and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him. Meredith's head instantly rested against his shoulder as she sipped her water.

"Ok I will give you a list, but I don't think we will really spend lots of time here, the trailer is way too small for 3 people and there is no privacy."

"You think Lia will like it out here?"

"She will love it."

"That reminds me I meant to ask earlier, where is Lia?"

"She is with Cristina…"

"Cristina's not working?"

"I know… it's shocking right? She has the evening off and is currently probably corrupting my daughter with surgery tapes that she is way too young to see..." Meredith giggled.

"Knowing Cristina you're probably right. So…"

"So?" Meredith questioned and when Derek trailed off and didn't continue. Meredith moved her head slowly from his shoulder and turned it so that she could face him. She had a feeling that she knew what he wanted to ask and she found it sweet that he seemed so nervous about doing so.

"I know you need to get back to Lia and that you have a child dependent on you. And I know I can't expect you to. And I don't want you to… I mean I do but I totally understand that you can't…"

Meredith cut him off from speaking by kissing him. "Derek you sound like me and unlike you I don't find rambling adorable." Meredith giggled. "Are you by any chance asking me to spend the night with you?"

"Not the entire night… I mean I would love you too but I know you can't and that's ok. But can you just stay for a little while? It's just… I don't want to let you go yet."

"Derek I am sure that Lia will be fine for the night with Cristina but I will need to leave early in the morning…"

"You'll spend the whole night here with me?" Derek questioned as a huge smile took over his face, he had the expression on his face of a child who had just received everything on his wish list from Santa.

"I need to call Lia but yes I can stay the night."

"Oh Mer…" Derek wrapped his arms tightly around her and pulled her into a deep passionate kiss.

The kiss immediately deepened and both were moaning in unison until Meredith pulled back. Derek looked questionly at her with a look of concern evident his eyes. "I'm ok Der, just a little nauseous still… I know I am staying but… earlier outside we were…. and it's not that I don't want to, it's just…"

"Now who is rambling?" Derek chuckled as he placed a quick brief kiss on her lips. "Mer as long as I get to just hold you in my bed for the entire night I am more then happy with that. We have the rest of our lives together to make love."

"You are such a hopeless romantic…"

"You bring out the best in me."

Meredith smiled in response at Derek. "Can we lay down for a bit?" She asked as she moved to put her water and crackers onto Derek's bedside cabinet.

"Here let me." Derek took the items from her and placed them on the cabinet before bending forward to slip off Meredith's shoes.

"Come here." He whispered as he kicked off his own shoes and moved to lay down on the Bed. Meredith moved to lay down next to him, her body molding into his side. She rested her head on his chest just over his heart whilst her arm went across his stomach and her hand rested on his hip. Derek's arms went around her body.

"Hmmm…" He sighed, "this feels really good."

"It does…"

"And you are sure about leaving Lia for the night?"

"She will have fun with Cristina. And I think it will do her good to have a night away, I think I have been a little overbearing lately."

"Yeah well that is understandable."

"I just need to keep telling myself that she is going to be ok now. And that's thanks to you…"

"I can't tell you how relieved I am that it worked. You know I was terrified operating on her.

"I know you were… thank you." Meredith kissed him quickly.

"Your welcome…" Derek said as he wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Damn hormones…" Meredith said as she pulled back.

"You be as hormonal as you want…" Derek smiled at her before she put her head back down to rest on his chest as Derek ran his fingers through her hair. "Are you still living with Cristina?"

"Yes…" Meredith sighed, "and we really need to find our own place soon. Don't get me wrong Cristina is great and she is hardly ever home, but she is a slob. And I need to get Lia settled into a stable environment… she needs her own room for a start. I have a few houses lined up to see next week…"

"Are they rental or are you looking at buying?"

"I was looking at buying, I want somewhere permanent…"

"Mer… I know we are taking this slow but please look at rental for now…"

Meredith lifted her head back up this time, turning her body slightly so that her chin came to rest on Derek's chest. She had a puzzled look on her face. "Derek I seriously love the trailer and although it is perfect for you… it is way too small for two adults a five year old and a baby…"

"It would be cosy though…" Derek said around a chuckle. "Mer I have all this land and I have never had any idea what to do with it… well that was until you told me you were having my baby. Let me build us a house here Meredith…"

"What?" Meredith asked as she sat up but continued to keep her gaze locked with Derek's. "Are you serious?"

"Well it makes sense. We both love the land and you said earlier that Lia would love it here and I am sure the baby would too. It's a perfect place to raise a family. We can build it just as you like."

"Derek I don't know what to say… this is fast…"

"And having a baby together isn't? Look the house wont be ready tomorrow. I doubt that it will even be ready in time for the baby's birth. So you can find a house to rent, I will even help you to look and we can continue to take things as slow as you need, we will make sure Lia is fine with everything. We don't have to move into the house until we are all ready. But Meredith I don't want to be a part time father I want to be able to spend every spare moment I have with the baby and with you and Lia. I want to experience everything… sleepless nights included."

"Derek I would never exclude you from anything and I want you in our lives full time…"

"So the house?"

Meredith looked into his eyes, they were sparkling with happiness and it reminded of that time almost 20 years ago when he spoke about finding them a house to live in. Her heart skipped a beat for him, for herself, for them and for their family. "Yes, you can build us a house…" Derek moved in immediately to kiss her but Meredith placed her hands flat against his chest preventing him from doing so. "But I want to contribute to the costs… we do this together."

"That's fine with me." Derek said grinning. Meredith eased the pressure behind her hand that was holding him back and he lent in and kissed her.

"God I love you so much." Derek declared as he briefly pulled back from the kiss.

"I love you too…" Meredith closed the gap between them and gently kissed him.

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><p><strong>Please leave me a review and also let me know if you would like a teaser from the next update where Meredith and Derek get an unexpected visitor lol.<strong>

**Jen xx**


	36. Chapter 36

**A massive THANK YOU again for the amazing reviews following the last chapter and a big thank you to those of you adding my story to your favorites/alerts list.**

**So in the update below Meredith and Derek will get an unexpected visitor LOL and a warning the update below contains mature content...**

Chapter 36

As Amelia continued her drive out to see her brother she was thinking and certainly, not for the first time, just how much she hated the fact that he lived so far away. Granted, when you got to his place and took in the views of his land, it was kind of worth it, but there was no way you could think those thoughts whilst making the journey. It was only 5.30 am and the roads out of the city were already gridlocked. God, if there was one thing she hated about New York, it was the traffic.

She was really worried about Derek. He had not returned her calls and she had heard some disturbing rumors at the hospital from one of the nurses when she popped in to look for him; the nurse had obviously assumed that she knew. And if what she heard was true, she had no idea what state she was going to find her brother in. She had looked for Meredith but was told that she had been in surgery. She had only popped into the hospital on her lunch break so she couldn't wait around. She had spent the entire night trying to call him and left various messages. She had even tried Meredith again but was unable to reach her. It made her feel a little guilty where Meredith was concerned, she had not got to see much of her lately. Amelia knew that if the rumors were true (God forbid!), Meredith would be there to pick up the pieces despite her and Derek not being together right now. If Derek were to turn to anyone, then it would be her. Amelia had wanted to drive out last night to her brother's, only Sam had to work late so that left her home alone with Elizabeth. Luckily, today was a national holiday so there was no school; she didn't have work and Sam had Elizabeth for the day. She took in a breath of relief as she looked ahead and saw that the traffic was beginning to clear, she would hopefully be at Derek's sooner than she thought.

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><p>"Mmmm," Meredith sighed as she felt herself beginning to stir from her sleep, she could sense the daylight beginning to creep in through the skylight window that she knew was above her. Last night her and Derek had spent hours just talking whilst they held each other and looked up at the stars through the same skylight. It had been one of their favorite past times and it felt good reminiscing it, last night everything had felt perfect… pretty much like how it felt now, actually. She could feel Derek's slight stubble tickling her as he moved his lips up and down her neck, pecking small kisses all over it. She turned slightly towards his body, causing him to move away from her neck and look at her face. Meredith opened her eyes and they automatically clashed with Derek's.<p>

"Good Morning." He murmured as he brought his lips down on hers and pulled her into a searing kiss.

"Morning…" she giggled breathlessly as he pulled back "and Morning to you too…" She nodded her head indicating Derek's fully grown manhood, it was more than making its presence known as it poked in her side and twitched in her direction every time he moved it out of contact with her body.

"And he says good morning to you too and that he is very happy to see you…" Derek chuckled.

"Oh is he now?"

"Oh yes…" Derek breathed, he brought his head down back to hers and captured her mouth with his. He pulled back again from Meredith leaving her panting heavily for breath. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"I am feeling good, even better now." She reached up and cupped his face in her hand as she stroked her thumb across his cheekbone.

"And how is the baby feeling?" Derek asked as he moved his head away from her and moved down to her stomach. He pulled back the shirt of his that she had borrowed for bed the night and he brought his mouth down to her stomach and gently kissed the place where their baby was.

"The baby is great this morning too…"

"That's good… Good morning baby…"

"Didn't we already have this conversation?" Meredith giggled as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"I had the conversation with you already, I am now having it with our baby. Now if you don't mind… Don't worry about your Mom, I think you will learn quickly that she likes to talk too much and she often interrupts…"

"Hey, that's not nice," Meredith clipped Derek around the back of his head before her fingers moved back through his hair.

He laughed at her before bringing his head back down to kiss Meredith's stomach again. His stubble tickled her, causing her to squirm underneath him and giggle frantically. Derek moved away from her stomach and moved back up towards her face as he leant in once again and thoroughly kissed her.

"What time is it?" Meredith asked when they once again broke apart.

"It's 5.40, do you need to leave?"

"Not quite yet," Meredith replied in a suggestive tone.

"Shall I make us breakfast?"

"I think I have my breakfast here already…"

"You do?"

"Oh yes…" Meredith leant in towards him this time and captured his mouth bringing him into a searing kiss, making her intentions clear.

"Mer…" Derek breathed, "are- are you sure?"

"Now who is talking too much?" Meredith raised her eyebrows whilst keeping her eyes firmly locked with Derek's, their eyes speaking silent words.

"Oh certainly not me…" he instantly reconnected their mouths, their tongues immediately seeking one another out. Derek's hands moved to the shirt Meredith had borrowed and he began to slowly unbutton it, being sure to allow his fingertips to gently stroke her stomach when the shirt began to come apart in the middle as he moved to the next button.

Meredith could feel her whole body starting to tingle, she remembered when she was pregnant with Lia, the mere thought of sex would send her hurling to the toilet. But with Derek it was different, this wasn't just sex, it was never just sex where he had been concerned. They had such a connection that ran a lot deeper than just the joining of their bodies and although she could tell by the way Derek's hands were slowly roaming her body as the shirt she was wearing had fallen completely open that Derek wanted to take it slow, slow was not what she wanted or needed. Maybe it was the early surge of pregnancy hormones or simply just the turmoil of being apart over the past few weeks but she needed him desperately, and she needed him now.

Taking Derek by surprise, Meredith flipped them over so that she was now the one sat straddling him.

"Whoa there…" Derek exclaimed in shock, one minute he had being enjoying the feel of Meredith's body beneath his, the feel of the soft skin of her neck as his lips gently caressed and sucked at it. The next minute he was flat on his back and it was now Meredith's hands that were roaming his body. His felt a shiver run through him and a moan escape his lips as her hands moved underneath the t-shirt he was wearing and roughly caressed his chest.

"You were moving too slow…" Meredith moaned, she could feel Derek's rock hard manhood poking behind her in the ass, it had somehow manage to escape through the hole in his boxers. Her wetness was seeping through the delicate black thong she was wearing, and she could tell by Derek's face that he could feel it on his now naked abdomen. "Off now," she ordered as she pushed his T-shirt up past his rib cage forcing him to lift his arms and head so that she could pull it the rest of the way off. She was surprised at just how turned on she was, Derek was always able to get her wet quickly and there was never much need for foreplay, but this was so much faster than usual. She felt as if she was going to reach an orgasm already and Derek had not even touched her down below, her core was throbbing with every beat of her heart.

Derek was shocked by the speed at which Meredith was taking things, he had plans to slowly cherish and caress every part of her body as he slowly made love to her. However, it seemed that she had other plans and he was not about to argue with them, the sooner he was inside her the better. They had the rest of their lives to do it his way. Derek ran his hands back up to her shoulders, he slid his hands inside the collar of the fully opened shirt she had on and slid them back down her arms. The shirt slid from her small frame easily, he could already see the changes that the pregnancy had done to her body as her breasts became exposed. They were already larger, heavier, her areolas were a lot darker and her nipples a deep pink and they were begging to be touched, kissed and sucked.

Derek took in the sight of her hovering above him, he was so happy to have his Meredith in his arms again, to have her body so intimately upon him. He wasn't going to take this for granted, and he was mentally savoring every moment, every touch and right now he wanted her more than ever. His fingertips were itching to run over and canvas every bit of flesh she had to offer.

Holding his hands up once again, he brought them closer to Meredith's body. He positioned them on the outside of her thighs and gently ran them up to her waist, holding her in place as she scooted herself slightly backwards so that her panty covered core was situated over his ever throbbing cock. He continued to hold her briefly whist he felt her gyrate her hips over him; a loud moan escaped his body as he felt her warmth and wetness soak through to his cock. His member was hardening even more by the second if that was possible in response to the moans that were coming from Meredith as he thrust his hips up to her and dry fucked her. As he felt her body begin to tremble, he let go of her waist and allowed his fingers to brush up her stomach towards her naked breasts. When his hands met their destination, he traced the outline of each breast with his fingertips, before moving to gently cup them and apply a gentle pressure to each one. His eyes locked with hers briefly before she closed them and flung her head back in sheer pleasure.

Adjusting himself, he sat up slightly and reached his head to take a the peak of her breast into his mouth, allowing his soft lips to brush against it and the tip of his tongue to sneak out and gently run over it briefly before he wrapped his lips around it and began to gently suck on her nipple.

"Der, oh my God, that feels sooo good!" Meredith moaned at the sensations that were taking over her body. Her breasts had felt so painful the last few weeks but now all she was feeling from them was sheer pleasure. She had already had one orgasm and was currently on the verge of having another and he was still yet to enter her. She knew Derek was able to do marvelous things to her body but never had she felt the sensations as strong as this.

Hearing Meredith moaning and taking in the sight of her now completely flushed body spurred Derek on more, he moved his mouth to her other breast in order to lavish it with the same attention. Only this time he began to suck harder, taking as much of her breast into his mouth as he could. He encircled the nipple with the tip of his tongue causing her to moan even louder, she was now practically panting. His moans were soon mirroring hers as he felt Meredith's hand leave his waist where it was stationed and reach back to his cock. She grasped his length with her small delicate hand and began to pump it ever so slowly, her thumb concentrating on the sensitive ridge at the head. He could feel her smearing his precum over the head of his cock. He was already ready to spill his load, the pleasure her hand sent through him and the sight of her body was enough to make him bite down on her nipple quite harshly.

Meredith initially felt pain but that was promptly overtaken by pure pleasure as she felt tingling sensations course through her body, driving straight to her core when she felt Derek bite down on nipple. She hissed and moaned loudly almost at the same time as her back arched and her eyes flew open to look at Derek's. She needed him inside her right now, her core felt like it was on fire.

Derek gasped as he heard the noises she emitted and as he felt her body stiffen in his hands. The expression on his face had suddenly changed to one of worry and his impending orgasm was quickly forgotten, at the mere thought that he had hurt her by being a little too rough with her breast. But as his eyes locked onto hers he could see only pleasure in them, they had now taken on a completely different darker shade and he knew that at this moment she was not angry, not if the smirk on her face was anything to go by. She was turned on, incredibly turned, he had never seen her so horny before and as she leaned down nearer to him and whispered close to his ear, he felt his impending orgasm return in full force.

"Oh, Derek Shepherd, you are going to pay for that…" Meredith whispered as she then proceeded to take his earlobe into her mouth and gently suck on it before biting down harshly. She felt his body immediately buck under hers and his hand flew to her hips as he tried to bring her center back over his manhood.

"Uh huh…" She whispered again purposely blowing hot air into his ear as she put her hands back to her waist, taking hold of his wrist and pushing them to the bed, where she kept them pinned. Meredith moved her head, her eyes locking with his; she could see them desperately pleading with her. "Soon…" She breathed as she quickly captured his mouth with hers, her tongue sneaking in before she pulled back all too soon. She slowly climbed off of him and stood up from the bed. "Take your pants off," she ordered as she slid her black thong down her legs and allowed it to drop to the floor. She slowly stepped out of it, watching as Derek frantically kicked his pants off, leaving him spread out naked before her on the bed. She slowly slid her fingers between her legs and traced them over her wetness before moving back to the bed and dangling them in front of Derek's face for him to taste.

"Hmmmm Mer!" Derek frantically roared as he eagerly sucked her fingers. "You are so wet… please..." he begged, "I need you now…"

"And you shall have me…"

Before he knew it, Meredith had climbed back on top of him and was once again straddling him. She hovered above him and then slowly she impaled herself onto him, her body crying out as he filled every inch of her. Derek then felt his eyes bulge, immense pleasure coursed through him and his balls instantly tightened as she began to frantically ride him hard. He could tell she was already chasing her orgasm and he knew that his own was not so far behind. He watched in immense pleasure as her body moved up and down and rotated on his cock, gripping it tightly as her heaving breasts bounced with full force all over the place.

Meredith was now desperately moaning Derek's name as she felt her entire body begin to tighten and she could swear she could see stars as another orgasm began to wash over her. She could feel Derek's cock begin to twitch inside of her and she knew that when he blew he was going to take her over the edge with him once again. She just needed him to hold out just that second longer… Her thoughts were suddenly torn away from her next impending orgasm as she heard a scream erupt which she knew was not Derek's. She turned her head to the right and her eyes clashed instantly with those of her best friend who looked completely horrified…

**Any comments?... Next update Meredith and Derek face a mortified Amelia, let me know if you would like a teaser. **

**Lets hope todays episode of Grey's brings us lovely Merder scenes and lots and lots of air time... One can dream hey?**

**Jen xxx**


	37. Chapter 37

**Once again thank you for your comments, to Jamtlc54 I have provided an update instead of a teaser as you asked lol. I hope you enjoy...**

Chapter 37

"Arghhhhh! Oh my God!" Amelia streaked as her hands flew to cover her eyes.

"Shit, Amy, get out of here!" Derek demanded as he hastily brought Meredith's chest down on top of his to help cover her, whipping a sheet over them at the same time.

Meredith waited until Amelia had walked out of the trailer before she made a move to climb off of Derek's penis.

"Hey, where are you going?" Derek asked his hands moving to her hips to hold her in place.

"Surely, you can not still be hard after that?" Meredith asked in shock.

"What do you think?" Derek shifted beneath her his hard cock once again moving inside her and penetrating her walls. "And I am so close…" he moaned.

"You are incorrigible…" Meredith giggled as she slapped him on the shoulder and quickly shifted so that he slipped out of her.

"Oh no, no, no…" Derek pouted as his arms tightened around her waist, holding her on top of him.

"Baby, Amy is waiting for us and after she just walked in… I can't, not knowing she is there." Meredith quickly kissed him on the lips, "I promise I will make it up to you later," she told him in a seductive tone as she pulled back.

"Ok, spoil sport, I will hold you to that…" he pouted again as he brought his hands to the back of her head and bought her head forward so he could capture her lips again, before he let her go.

"Come on, let's go deal with Amy. She may be traumatized for life," Meredith giggled as she rolled off of him and began to search for her clothes.

* * *

><p>Amelia began to pace around outside Derek's trailer; she had moved a good distance away from it. At this moment she needed silence as she desperately tried to clear the images of her best friend riding her brother from her head. That definitely was a situation she could have gone her entire life without witnessing. It was certainly not the situation she had expected to find either; she had thought she would have found Derek in a drunken stupor if the rumors were true. She of course knew the history Derek had shared with Meredith but even for them what she had witnessed was fast.<p>

"Amy…" Meredith called as she walked out of the trailer, she couldn't help but giggle at the sight of her pacing around.

"You have some explaining to do," Amelia stated as she walked back towards Meredith.

As Meredith watched Amelia approach her, she heard a faint moan come from inside. "You know it's probably best if I come to you and we take a walk and talk."

"Why, where's Derek? Is he not coming out or is he too embarrassed?"

"Oh he will be out, he just needs to… um… take care of something first…" Meredith could tell by the immediate scrunching of Amelia's face that she now knew exactly what Derek were doing. She could not help but laugh at her friend's obvious discomfort.

"God, are you two trying to scar me for life? I am surprised he let you leave…"

"Well, he tried his best to…"

"Nooo, don't wanna hear it," Amelia shook her head as she put her fingers in her ears.

"Don't wanna hear what?" Derek asked as he walked out of the trailer.

"That was quick baby," Meredith quipped out and giggled at the horrified look Derek had developed on his face, he looked like he was having trouble believing what she had said. Their eyes locked as he walked to join them.

"You just wait," he murmured to Meredith in a seductive tone, letting her know that he planned on punishing her later.

"Oh, God, please… I really cannot take this and I hope you have washed your hands.

"Of course…" Derek's arm automatically went around Meredith's waist and he pulled her into him. Both of them marveled in just how great their bodies felt against one another.

"So, which one of you is going to tell me what is going on?"

"What do you mean?" Derek asked in a coy manner.

"Oh, come on, Derek, don't play stupid with me. The last I heard you were having a baby with another woman," as soon Amelia started that sentence she briefly saw the look of pain flash through Derek's eyes. "You were going to try and make a relationship work with her. Mer, you were devastated that Derek was starting a life with someone else. I heard some disturbing gossip from the hospital and then come out here and see images I could happily have gone my entire life without seeing, in fact, I think I may need to get you to perform surgery, Derek, so that I am able to look at you two again without cringing. What is going on?"

"What did you hear at the hospital, Amy?" Derek asked.

"One of the nurses said that I was to give you her love and that the entire staff are disgusted by what Rose did. Der… they said that she faked her pregnancy…"

"Well, they got some of the story right…"

"Oh my God, I was hoping that they were mistaken. I mean, not that I liked the woman, but I saw how happy you were that you were going to be a Dad. Why would someone do that?"

"Well, she claimed that she was in love with me and that she did not want to lose me. She went to see her friend, Dr. Montgomery, who is an OB/GYN and who also happens to hate Meredith, they have a history together. Anyway, she convinced Rose that she had to fake the pregnancy and provided her with fake sonogram pictures…"

"But I don't get it, you attended the sonogram yourself?"

"It was fake, Amy," Meredith stepped in answering for Derek and at the same time she took his hand, she could see he was getting upset. "They played him a recording of somebody else's sonogram…"

"The pair of bitches…"

"That is not even all of it. Rose then frantically tried to get Derek to sleep with her," Meredith continued, she could tell by the grip on her hand that Derek was having trouble going on. "After Derek refused her she went out and slept with random men, and she actually become pregnant. Thank god that she had a fall because Derek was able to see that the pregnancy was not as advanced as it should have been. She was going to have Derek raise someone else's baby…"

"How can anyone be so despicable? You wait until I get my hands on them."

"Sorry, Amy, but you need to get in the queue…"

"I hope you are not referring that you are in the queue?" Derek asked Meredith as his arms went around her waist, his hands stopping to rest on her stomach as he pulled her body tighter up against his chest. "We already agreed that you were to stay away from them and not get into any fights, I don't want anything happening to the both of you…"

"Hold on a second… what is going on? I mean not that I am not happy that you two are together, but 'both of you?' Der… am I missing something?"

"Well, this was not how I wanted to tell you, Amy…"

"Tell me what?"

"You know when I found out about that bitch, I don't even want to say her name, I was devastated. I came home and immediately began to drink but then Mer came and she gave me the best news of my life and now everything is so perfect, that I do not even care that she lied…"

"What news?" Amelia asked as her heart began to already soar for her brother and her best friend, at the news she believed they were going to tell her.

"Well, it turns out that you are still going to be an aunty after all, you see where I was always careful with she who will not be named for the time being, I was not careful with Mer…"

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" Amelia jumped up and down excitedly as she pulled Meredith away from Derek and hugged her.

"Whoa, Amy, calm down, are you 12?" Derek laughed at Amelia's reaction as he tried to pull Meredith away from her, back into his arms.

"Hey, what do you think you are doing?" Amelia slapped at Derek's hands. "And quit pouting like a baby, you can have her back soon."

"Guys…" Meredith giggled, "almost 20 years later and you two are still fighting over me? There is enough of me to go around."

"Yeah and I have her now…"

"Well, I had her this morning and would still be having her now if you didn't walk in on us…"

"Derek!" Meredith hissed as she went red.

"Ewwww, mental images… I cannot believe you just went there, Derbear, what are you like 6?

"Obviously not, because if I were 6 you would not have walked in on what you did."

"Pleeease… I need to be able to sleep tonight!" Amelia whined.

"My God, Derek! Just stop, if you ever want to experience what you did this morning again, you will shut up right now."

"Ok, shutting up."

"Good," Meredith said with a satisfied nod of her head, but as her eyes locked with Derek's, she made it clear that there was no way that she would be able to withhold on him.

"Huh uh, it's not happening, my time Mer, you can have your time with him later." Amelia put her hands on Meredith's chin and turned her head so she was once again facing her, causing Meredith to giggle and Derek to pout. "Mer, you're really pregnant?" she asked with a smile.

"I am really pregnant…"

"That is fantastic news, how far along are you? And why am I only hearing about this now?"

"Six weeks… and I am sorry, I wanted to tell you but I was trying to get my head around it. Plus, you have been busy with Elizabeth and given the circumstances, I didn't want to put you into an awkward position."

"Firstly, the idiot there may be my brother but you are my best friend and I am never too busy for you. Secondly, I am just so pleased for you." Amelia pulled Meredith back into another hug. She then pulled back and moved to Derek. "For both of you," she said as she pulled Derek into a hug.

"Thanks Amy," Derek said as he pulled back. He saw this as an opportunity to embrace Meredith once again.

Amelia shook her head and laughed at him. As she looked at the two of them it was as if time had not changed at all, only made them wiser. Derek still had the same constant need to be touching Meredith and they looked at home, right where they deserved to be in one another's arms… they looked happy.

"Earth to Amy…" Meredith giggled.

"Huh? Did you say something?"

"Yes… where were you?"

"No where," Amelia shook her head smiling, she didn't want to let on to her brother just how corny she was being. He was known as the corny one in the family, at least he always used to be, and now looking at Derek and Meredith it seemed like she had gotten her brother fully back. "What was it?"

"Derek asked if you wanted some breakfast?"

"Yeah, sure I didn't eat this morning, what are we having?"

"Well I am not having anything yet I am afraid, I need to leave…"

"Wait…"

"Derek, I really need to get back to Lia, I will have breakfast with her."

"I fully understand that you need to get back to Lia," Derek quickly brushed his lips over Meredith's, "but it is a long drive, at least just have a slice of toast?" Meredith looked at Derek with raised eyebrows. "Please, Mer, just humor me?"

"Meredith, please, just eat the God damn toast, otherwise I am going to have to make my own breakfast as the idiot there will be to busy pacing around until he knows you have gotten home safely."

"Ok, I will have a slice of toast." Meredith kissed Derek quickly, "but go and get a move on though…" she said as she squeezed his ass.

"That's not nice!" Derek hissed as he felt a stirring down below, he knew he had to get out of there before he embarrassed himself any further in front of his sister. As he walked back towards the trailer to make Meredith her toast, he couldn't help but glance back and watch Meredith happily giggling away with Amy. For the first time in a long while he could say that everything in that moment felt perfect and that he was actually looking forward to the future once again.

* * *

><p><strong>Please leave a review and also remember if you want a teaser from the next update let me know. So it looks like we may get more Merder air time in this weeks Greys. I was thoroughly disappointed with last weeks episode and can not believe I am saying that about Greys :(( I also heard that they got their lowest ever viewing numbers and the producers were wondering why... Like duh one look at fan sites would give them the answers...<br>**

**Jen xxxx  
><strong>


	38. Chapter 38

**As always thank you to those of you who left me a comment, hope you enjoy the update below...**

Chapter 32

"Lia, come on, you need to switch that TV off now, and will you go and get your jacket…"

"Is Mr. Derek really going to drive us again to look at new houses?"

"Yes, he is, but if you do not get a move on, we will not be going anywhere."

"I am right on it…" Lia giggled as she skipped out of the room.

Meredith could not help the smile that washed over her face as she watched Lia. She had bounced back to health so quickly and it was extremely hard to get mad at her. She knew that she had to toughen up on her eventually or it would just lead to Lia having behavior problems but how do you get strict and remain mad at someone who you nearly lost? This was the dilemma she faced when it came down to disciplining Lia…

"What do you think? Do I look pretty?" Lia asked as she came bounding back into the room sporting a pink wig.

"Lia, where on earth did you get that from?"

"Aunt Cristina, we went to the mall yesterday and…" Lia didn't get to finish her sentence as the doorbell went. "Can I get it, please, Mommy?"

"Sure, go ahead." Meredith shook her head watching Lia as she disappeared out of the hallway to go to open the door, she was thinking of ways how she could plot Cristina's death… although, Lia did look pretty cute.

"Mr. Derek, Mr. Derek…" Lia jumped up and down excitedly, holding her arms up for Derek to pick her up as soon as she opened the door.

"Hey, Miss. Lia, I love the hair," Derek chuckled as he carried Lia into the living room. He felt his heart warm at the way she had greeted him.

"It is very cool, right? Do I look pretty Mr. Derek? I still can't go out without my hat or fake hair as my head will get cold, you know it is growing back really slowly…"

"It will be long and beautiful again before you know it and you certainly do look very cool and very much like how your Mommy used to look." He chuckled as he looked up at Meredith.

"You had fake pink hair, Mommy?"

"Derek…" Meredith groaned as her eyes caught with his, she could see the mischief written all over them.

"Oh no, Lia, your Mommy didn't have fake pink hair, she had real pink hair…"

"Oh wow, Mommy, that is awesome! How comes you don't have pink hair anymore?" Lia looked at her with a puzzled frown.

"Feel free to answer that one, Mr. Derek?"

"Hmmm, at the store, Lia, they sell dye, which is like a shampoo and you put it on your hair like you would shampoo, only it is not really shampoo, it makes your hair change color." Derek continued when he saw the puzzled frown on Lia's face. "Hmmm… Lia, have you ever baked cakes and used something to make the icing turn a different color?"

"Yes, silly, of course I have baked cakes, me and Mommy used to bake them all the time at our old house…"

"You can bake, Mer?" Derek asked in shock.

"Of course I can bake you…"

"Child present," Derek chuckled interrupting her, " I am sorry, it's just I still remember the day your Mom banned you from using the toaster after you set it on fire."

"I was 16 years old then!"

"How about the time you gave me food poisoning?"

"As I said, I was only 16…"

"Yeah, Mer, but most 16 year olds can make toast without setting fire to the toaster and they know that you cannot reheat chicken that has already been reheated previously…"

"Maybe…" Meredith giggled. "You can be rest assured that after several cooking courses you are now in safe hands."

"Mr. Derek?" Lia tugged gently on Derek's hair to get his attention and break up the banter that was going on between the adults. "You were splaining to me how Mommy made her hair pink…"

"Oh shoot, is that the time?" Meredith made a show of looking at her watch, having decided to rescue Derek. "Lia we need to get a move on if we want to see these houses, how about if Mommy promises to explain later to you?"

"Ok sure, Mommy, can we go find our new house now?"

Derek shot Meredith a silent look of appreciation as they exited Cristina's apartment.

* * *

><p>"Oh, Mommy, this one, please, can we have this one?" Lia tugged excitedly on Meredith's jumper.<p>

"I take it you like it then, princess?"

"I love it and it has a huge garden so we can get a dog!"

"Hmmm… we will need to see about that dog…"

"But Mommy…"

"Don't you but Mommy me, I said I would think about it and plus I would need to check with the Estate agent to see if we are allowed pets."

"Ok… hmmm… I know, tell her that if we can have a dog we will take it but if we can't, then we won't."

"Oh so, that's your way of negotiating, is it?"

"You got a smart kid there," Derek chipped in.

"Well, you gots to negotiate, that's what my Daddy always said, didn't he Mommy? He would be proud of me wouldn't he coz I gave you a good way to negotiate"

"Oh Lia, sweetie, of course he will, your Daddy would be very proud." Meredith had noticed that Derek had swiftly retreated from the conversation and she saw a sad expression wash over his features. "I have a good idea, why don't you go upstairs and have another look just to be sure this is the one you want? Whilst you are there, you can also check to see which one of the bedrooms you want apart from the one with the bathroom."

"I know, I know!" Lia shouted behind her as she dashed to the hallway to go upstairs.

Meredith waited until she heard Lia moving about upstairs before she turned around to face Derek. "Are you ok?" she asked as she made her way over to him.

"Yeah, I'm…"

"Derek…" Meredith said in a warning tone as she slipped her arms around his waist, she was letting him know that it was her that he was talking to.

"I am sorry," Derek wrapped his arms around Meredith. "I'm just being silly…"

"You are jealous of Matt, aren't you?"

"I am, it's just he had all those years with you and Lia, I should have been Lia's father. I love her so much already but it hurts that she has a history with another man who is her father. You know sometimes I pretend… I mean know that we are going slow but I allow myself to get caught up in the moment and I pretend that she is mine, that I am her father. But then conversations like the one we just all had happen and it reminds me that I am not. I am sor…" He was suddenly cut off from finishing his sentence as Meredith pressed her mouth against his in a brief chaste kiss.

"Sssh, you know…" Meredith began as she looked into his eyes and raised her hand to run her fingers through his hair. "The way you are with Lia makes me love you even more and I didn't even think that was possible," she said with a smile. "I absolutely adore the fact that you already think of her as your own and that you pretend that you are her father. And, Derek, one day she will think of you as being just that. Yes, she has a history with another man and I am sorry but I cannot take that away from her. But that's just what it is, Derek… Matt has her history but you… you have her future."

"God, I love you." Derek pulled her into a searing kiss as the speech she just made completely overwhelmed him. They both forgot where they were and that their time alone was limited as the kiss that they were engaged in grew more passionate.

"Arghhhhh Mommy!" Lia screamed as she came into the room that they were in. "You are going to catch cooties."

Derek and Meredith quickly jumped apart. Meredith began to panic as to what she was going to say to Lia and she said the first thing that popped into her head. "Derek and I were just playing sweetie." Meredith cringed even as she said the words, Derek looked at her in amusement.

"But Mommy you were kissing Mr. Derek like you used to kiss Daddy sometimes. But you couldn't get cooties from him because he were my Daddy…"

Meredith didn't have to look at Derek's face to see the flash of jealousy that would have gone through him at the mention of her kissing Matt. She took a deep breath before she gestured for Lia to come over to a single chair that was in the empty living room. She had been hoping to be able to put this conversation off for a little while longer, but now she didn't really see any other way around it.

"Lia, sweetie, come here and sit on my lap," Meredith waited for her to climb up before she continued. Her eyes clashed with Derek's briefly and he was wearing a puzzled expression now. She just hoped that he would be ok with what she was about to say to Lia. "Honey, you like Mr. Derek, don't you?"

"Yes, I do, he is my friend and he fixed my boo boo so I like him lots and lots and lots and lots. Even more than Strawberry Ice cream…"

Both Meredith and Derek couldn't help but laugh at her.

"Well, that's good kiddo," Derek said as he came closer and gently ruffled her pink wig being careful not to dislodge it. "Because I like you heaps and heaps too."

"Well, Lia hun, Mommy likes Derek lots too, he is my very special friend and sometimes when grown-ups are special friends, they do what you just saw us doing."

"Is he your boyfriend Mommy?" Lia asked with a giggle. "Like how Uncle Owen is Aunty Cristina's boyfriend, because they have not got married yet?"

"I guess you could call him that," Meredith shared a look with Derek and rolled her eyes at the smirk he had on his face. "Is that ok with you sweetie?"

"I guess… But what about the horse?" Lia asked as she frowned. "Won't your baby horse be sad that you are not going to be their Daddy and be married to their Mommy?"

"What horse?" Derek asked with a bemused smile as Meredith openly cringed and could feel herself turning a shade of red.

"Is it not true? Are you not having a baby with a horse? I did ask Uncle Mark to find out for me but he didn't get back to me. You see I was opposed to be sleeping but I heard Aunty Cristina asking Mommy what she were going to do now that you were having a baby with the horse…"

"Lia…" Meredith groaned.

"I am sorry, Mommy."

"It's ok, Lia," Derek chuckled. "Nice nickname, Mer… Lia it isn't true, I am not having a baby with a horse, I think your Aunty Cristina is a little crazy sometimes."

"Yeah, maybe she had too much quila again?"

"Oh God!" Meredith groaned again, just what would people think she was teaching her child. She was finally starting to see why Matt had a problem with Lia spending too much time with Cristina.

"So, Lia…" Derek kneeled down in front of Lia and Meredith so that he was at Lia's height and he took her hand in his. "I would love more than anything to be your Mommy's boyfriend and get to know you a lot better. What do you think about that?"

"That would be great. Will you take me to the park lots and to buy ice cream lots?"

"Lia…" Meredith began.

"No, Mer, it's ok… She is clearly your daughter," Derek chuckled. "I will definitely do those things."

"Does it mean that you will be my new Daddy?" Lia asked as she chewed her bottom lip.

Derek felt his heart swarm at just how much she took after her Mother. He only hoped that the child Meredith was carrying did just the same. Derek looked at Meredith for permission before he continued, which she granted with a nod of her head.

"Lia, honey, I hope very much to be your Daddy one day in the future but that is completely up to you. I know you already have a Daddy and that I can never replace him in your heart but you know what I think?"

"What, Mr. Derek?"

"I think that your heart is big enough to love two Daddies just like you are able to love your Mommy and your Aunty Cristina. And it's like my heart because I love your Mommy and I love you too…"

"You love my Mommy?" Lia asked as she put her hand to her mouth and giggled around it.

"I do love your Mommy very much, so what do you say, Lia? Is it ok with you for me to love your Mommy? And one day maybe be your Daddy too?"

"Urm…" Derek couldn't help but smile as he watched Lia bite her bottom lip as she thought, and once again he couldn't help but think just how much it was such a Meredith thing to do. "I oppose it's ok but you have got to be really careful not to give her the cooties though… Pinky swear?" Lia expectantly held her little finger out to Derek and he immediately linked his little finger with her much smaller one.

"I pinky swear that I will not give your Mommy cooties."

"Urm…" Lia frowned whilst she bit her bottom lip.

"What is it, sweetie?" Meredith asked as she shared a concerned look with Derek.

"What do I call you now?"

"That is totally up to you but how about you just continue to call me Derek for now and when you know me a lot more and you feel comfortable with it, you can call me Daddy. But that is entirely up to you when you do that. You call me Daddy only when you want to do it."

"Ok Derek," Lia leaned forward and hugged him. Meredith and Derek shared a look; both were trying hard to control the tears of happiness which were threatening to fall. Meredith really wanted to tell Lia about the baby but she gathered that she had enough information to absorb for the time being.

Their moment was suddenly interrupted by the Estate agent knocking on the front door and entering the house. She had been waiting outside in her car giving them the opportunity to view the house alone. "Sorry if I am interrupting…" she said as she entered the living room.

"Oh no, not at all. It's ok, we were going to come to find you anyway…" Meredith said as she looked up at her.

"I was just wondering how you liked the house?"

"Here, Mer, let me take her," Derek indicated Lia and Meredith allowed him to take her from her as he stood up. Meredith stood up to join him.

"It's a lovely house, Miss. But we do have one condition…" Lia began.

"Oh you do, do you?" The estate agent looked at her with a look of amusement on her face whilst both Meredith and Derek laughed.

"Sssh Mommy and Derek, you gots to be serious if you want to negotiate," Lia told them with a stern look on her face. This time the estate agent burst out laughing.

"And what is your condition, young lady?"

"We want to get a dog, so we will only take the house if we can have a dog live here with us?"

"Oh well, it just so happens that the owners do not have any objections to any pets. So you can have a dog live here too."

"Wow… I mean ok then we will take it."

"Lia…" Meredith laughed shaking her head. "She is right, Mrs. Roberts, we will take it."

"Excellent, I will get all the paper work drawn up. I will give you three another minute alone." The estate agent then exited the house.

"So we have a house," Meredith said as she looked at Derek, silently giving him an open invitation to stay over with them.

"We do…" He agreed with a smile so big it was a wonder that his cheeks were not hurting.

"We sure do and I did really good, right?" Lia chipped in.

"You did perfect, sweetheart." Meredith stepped forward and kissed Lia's head.

"So, when can we go and get a dog?" Lia asked with a smile, which clearly said that she knew that she had won the argument over the dog. She smiled at both her Mom and Derek and held one arm out to hug her Mom as the other remained around Derek's neck.

**As always would really appreciate your comments, let me know if you would like a teaser from the next update. So we finally got a better Greys last Thursday, last weeks episode was hilarious and from the promo this weeks looks even better.**

**Jen xx**


	39. Chapter 39

**Sorry for the delay in posting the next update, real life got a little hectic. The below update was originally split into two updates but seeing as I have kept you waiting for so long I have gone ahead and posted as one, hope you enjoy...**

Chapter 39

"Good Morning Patricia."

Patricia looked up from her computer screen to look the former nurse up and down and was unable to mask the look of disgust that came over her face. "It was…"

"Who do you think you are? You are a mere secretary, a dog's body. I am…."

"You are what? Don't make me laugh. I know I should remain professional but I cannot. I will tell you exactly what you are… you are a despicable human being and after you are done with Chief Webber, you will be an unemployed despicable human being."

"I don't have to take this from you, can you just let Chief Webber know that I am here."

"Didn't you get the message? Your meeting was postponed until 1pm, Ms. Turner."

"What message? I obviously didn't get it as it's only 11 O' clock. I want to see him now."

"Well I am sorry but he is busy dealing with your partner in crime…" Patricia begun but was interrupted by Rose.

"Addison's here?"

"Yes she is, she is in with the chief now. Originally she should have come in this afternoon but we had to reschedule things. I don't know how you didn't get the message," Patricia said with a smirk. "But now it looks as if you are going to run into her, will that be a problem?"

"No of course not, why would it be?"

"No reason." Patricia smiled, she knew from Dr. Montgomery's previous meeting that she was not too happy with Rose. She purposely did not reschedule with Rose in the hopes of seeing a show down. "Why don't you go and take a seat whilst you wait, I am sure the chief will be able to see you straight after." Patricia nodded in the direction of some seats opposite her desk. "After all I have not got the time to sit here exchanging pleasantry's with you, some of us actually have a job to get on with."

* * *

><p>"You know I have never ever in my entire career come across someone who acts as unprofessionally as you do."<p>

"I have already told you, I acted out of desperation for someone who I thought was a friend. She blackmailed me."

"But yet you can not tell me what she blackmailed you with."

"No I can't. But Richard, please? You know how good I am, I have turned that department around since coming here, I have attracted so many difficult cases. I have worked so hard to get where I am. I am begging you…"

"I won't deny that you have made the department more profitable, however how much of that profitability has been achieved through dodgy dealings? I don't trust you and I do not buy your version of events and more importantly, neither do the board. You are finished Addison, you will never practice again. And the board have also asked me to inform you about the impending law suit…"

"What impending law suit? What are you talking about?"

"The hospital along with Mrs. Carter, you know the patient who's records you tampered with? Are bringing a civil law suit against you."

"No Richard please I am begging you." Addison began to plead. "Take my license and I will disappear. You will never hear from me again but please not a law suit…"

"What's the matter Addison? You scared of the publicity?"

"You are going to destroy my life."

"And some might say that is exactly what you deserve. You almost destroyed a number of innocent lives and could have destroyed the reputation of my hospital. There is no way I will allow you to walk away with your dignity intact. So I suggest that the quicker you face up to the consequences of your actions the better it will be for you. Your are being struck off and will never practice medicine again and we will also see you in court." Richard couldn't help the tiny ounce of pity that surged through him as Addison broke down sobbing.

* * *

><p>So Miss Lia, what planet are you going to visit today when you get in your spaceship?" Mark asked as he walked across the overpass next to Meredith, carrying Lia to her appointment.<p>

"Uncle Mark you are so funny," Lia giggled. "It is not a spaceship today, it is a boat and I am going on a pirate adventure with Dora…"

"Ah I see. Well, will Boots the monkey be joining you and Dora on your adventures?"

"If only the nurses could see you now…" Meredith shook her head and giggled.

"What?" Mark wiggled his eyebrows at Meredith. "You think it will score me brownie points? You know, I think Lia would like to hang out with me for a little while after her appointment today…"

"I don't think so, how many times have we discussed this, you are not using my daughter to pull nurses. I was referring to the fact that I think the nurses would find it highly disturbing that you even know who Dora the explorer is, little lone the names of the other characters."

"Uncle Markie you mustn't pull girls around…" Lia frowned.

Mark let out a chuckle whilst Meredith sent him a death glare. "It is just a game we play princess, like this." Mark said twirling her around as she giggled hysterically.

"Mark slow down, you are going to make her dizzy…"

"Oh Mama this is fun, please let me go and help uncle Mark pull girls…."

If looks could kill Mark knew he would have been dead right now, fortunately Meredith's attention was peaked in the direction of the waiting area outside of the chief's office.

* * *

><p>"Addison," Rose called out as Addison walked out of the chiefs office with Richard following behind her."<p>

"Huh… Patricia what is Ms. Turner doing here?"

"Sorry Chief Webber she claims not to have got the message about rescheduling her appointment with you."

"Ok then, Ms. Turner come into my office and Patricia can you call security to escort Ms. Montgomery to her former office so that she can gather her belongings and then have them escort her out of the building."

"Richard there is hardly any need for security…"

"Sorry but I am not taking any chances, and it is Chief Webber to you. Now if you don't mind… Ms. Turner…?" Richard nodded in the direction of his office.

"One minute please Chief Webber I would like to talk to Addison…"

"That will really not be necessary, I have nothing to say to you!"

"Addison I have been trying to call you, I left you heaps of messages…. Did you not get them?"

"Oh, I got them alright… But like I just said I have absolutely nothing to say to you."

"Are you mad at me? I thought we were friends?"

"Friends? You sold me out… friends don't do that to one another. I tried to help your pathetic ass out and what did you do? You had to go ahead and mess everything up. But I suppose I should have known better…"

"It was not exactly my fault and anyway what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I should of known better then to trust a stupid Dr. wannabe to pull off something which required the slightest bit of brain power."

"Why you little…." Rose went forward to slap Addison but Richard stood in the way.

"Now that is enough! Patricia?" Richard turned his head in his secretary's direction. Patricia had a smile on her face and Richard just knew it would have been even bigger had he not stopped Rose from hitting Addison. "Where are Security?"

"Sorry Chief, will put urgent call through now."

"You used me didn't you?" Rose demanded.

"Well if the crown fits…"

* * *

><p>"Mark do me a favour and take Lia up to Derek for her appointment, tell him I will be there shortly."<p>

"Meredith, what are you planning on doing?"

"Nothing much, now look Lia is going to be late for her appointment…"

"Well, what are we waiting for then?" Mark said. "Lets go… Meredith they are not worth it."

"Not worth it? Mark they nearly ruined mine and Derek's lives, I can't just let them get away with it, without saying anything."

"Mama, what's wrong?" Lia asked.

"Oh sweetie, nothing is wrong. Mama just needs to go and talk to some people. Uncle Mark is going to take you to Derek, so that you can begin your adventure and Mommy will be with you in a few minutes."

"Ok, but why are those Ladies shouting?"

"They are just being silly, but don't you worry, everything will be ok."

"Ok Mommy."

"Mark now can you please take Lia to her appointment, she doesn't need to see this."

"Meredith I don't think it's a good…."

"Mark Please?" Meredith pleaded. "I need to do this and besides look Richard is there. Nothing will happen…"

"Ok, but for the record, I said this was a bad idea."

"Thank you." Meredith smiled at Mark and lent forward to kiss Lia on her cheek. "Now you be a good girl for uncle Mark and Derek and I will see you in a few minutes, I love you."

"Ok Mommy, I will be, See you in a minute… You gots to hurry though coz you will miss Dora's adventure…"

"I will… Bye Sweetie." Meredith watched as Mark carried Lia towards the elevators, she ignored him as he shook his head at her. She watched them board the elevator before she started to walk in the direction of where all the commotion was.

* * *

><p>"So Karev, you might as well go off and grab some lunch I can handle the next patient alone."<p>

"Well if you are sure Dr. Shepherd, that would be great. I promised Izzie I would collect some food for her from that new Deli, you know the one that opened around the block? Can I get something for you?"

"No thanks, I am going to grab lunch after as well. When you are finished your lunch prep Mr. Donnerly in room 525 and I will see you in the OR in two hours."

"Yes Sir. It sounds like Lia is here, right on time too." Alex said as he heard the little girls insistent giggle, that he had become accustomed to throughout her hospital stay.

"Alex you are here too?" Lia declared excitedly from her place still in Marks arms as she entered the room with him. "Are you going to come on Dora's adventure too?"

"Where is Meredith?" Derek scowled at Mark before Alex had the chance to answer Lia, he was not happy to see Lia with Mark. Although Meredith had assured him that they were never anything more then friends, Derek didn't like the attention that Mark paid to her and Lia.

"Um… princess Lia why don't you go with Alex and check out Dora's boat, you have to make sure that there are no holes.

Alex looked at Derek and he glared back at him silently telling him that it was no longer ok to take his lunch break right now. "Come on princess Lia, lets go and check the boat for holes, we don't want to sink now, do we?" Alex held his hand out to her after Mark had placed her onto the ground.

"Nuh huh…" Lia shook her head, "That really would not be good," she said with a giggle. "Don't worry Derek, Mommy will be here soon, she said she won't miss our adventure with Dora." Lia shouted to Derek as she held Alex's hand and walked into the MRI room.

Derek waited until Lia was out of earshot before he turned to Mark. "So… where is she? Are both her and the baby ok?" Derek asked with panic evident in his voice, it was the only reason he could think of as to why Meredith did not bring Lia herself, for the appointment.

"Calm down, they are both fine…"

"If this has nothing to do with the baby, then why didn't Meredith bring Lia herself? And why have you got her?"

"I bumped into Meredith and Lia whilst I was on my way to the coffee cart, I offered to walk with them to Lia's appointment…"

"Oh I bet you did…" Derek mumbled.

"What was that?"

"It doesn't matter, you still have not answered my question. Where is Meredith?"

Mark took a deep breath, "She is outside the Chiefs office…"

"What is she doing there? What is going on? She wouldn't not just bring Lia to her appointment for no reason."

"She saw Addison and Rose there…"

"She what?"

"Look man she is going to be here any minute…"

"She is with Addison and Rose, right now? You just left her with them?"

"Look she is a big girl, the chief is there too and she asked me to get Lia out of the way…"

"Regardless, you have practically allowed her to walk into a Lions den! Keep an eye on Lia!" Derek yelled as he took off down the corridor.

* * *

><p>"I am glad you are both here together, that way I can kill two birds with one stone and it saves me only having to waste my breath only once…"<p>

"Oh look who it is… if it isn't little Miss high and mighty?" Addison said snidely.

"And just look how the mighty have fallen, I hear the view from the ground is not all it is cracked up to be… Shame because it doesn't look like you will be getting up from it anytime soon."

"Save your breath, I don't want to hear it…."

"Well it is tough because you are going to hear it, you are both going to hear it."

"Meredith they really are not worth it…"

"You got that right Richard but it will sure make me feel a lot better. You two are despicable, I don't think you could get any lower then the act you two attempted to pull, even if you tried. How could you do that to Derek? I can understand it from her, she does not have one single moral bone in her body," Meredith looked Addison up and down before turning back to Rose. "But you? You claimed to love him…"

"I do love him…"

"Love him? You don't even know the meaning of the word."

"Like you can even talk, I bet your poor husband is turning in his grave. You were married but yet you slept with my boyfriend, we were happy until you came along…"

"Don't you dare try to take the moral high ground with me. And you were deceiving yourself, you would never have made Derek happy."

"Your wrong, we were very happy and when I told him I was having his baby he was extremely happy and we will be happy again…"

Meredith burst into a fit of giggles, "Geez, just when I thought you couldn't get any more delusional you rise… It was all a lie you never were carrying his child and he most certainly is not going to go back to you…"

"You think he won't come back to me because you have sunk your claws into him? Well you are wrong… he is just angry right now and when he calms down and thinks things through, he will forgive me and raise the baby with me…"

"Did you give her drugs as well as fake sonograms?" Meredith asked Addison with a giggle. "You are not just delusional, you are actually beyond insane. Derek will never go back to you, he doesn't love you, he never has and he most certainly will not raise a child with you, that is not his."

"Why? Because he is going to raise a child that is not his with you?"

"Well yeah, amongst raising his own child…"

"What are you talking about? You promised to give him his own child? Just how pathetic are you? Promising to have a baby just to keep a man around…"

"Duh, well hello? Is that not exactly what you tried to do? Richard, I really do believe you need to get her assessed by Psych…"

"I am beginning to think that is not a bad idea."

"I am not crazy, Addison, tell them!"

"I don't want any part of this, you two fight over Derek all you want. Personally I don't see the attraction myself but you know what they say? Whatever floats your boat. Now Richard could you hurry up with your Security, I just want to clear my office and get out of here."

"I don't know how I could have been so wrong about you, you used me."

"For Gods sake Rose, get over it and quit whining… Yeah so what? I used you, I don't know why you are complaining? It is not as if you didn't get what you wanted. You wanted a baby, well you are pregnant aren't you?"

"You disgust me…" Rose admonished.

"Well both of you disgust me, and I don't know why you are so surprised? Surely you must have known just what a manipulative Bitch she was?"

"Not to me, she was my friend…"

"Well it looks like you learned the hard way, she is a shark she doesn't have friends, she would even devour her own young if it would benefit her."

"Why thank you for that insightful analysis, I think you missed your calling in life. Always trying to right the wrongs in the world, you really should have become a psychiatrist…"

"Well at least it's better then carrying out the wrongs, you bitter, old twisted whore…"

"You watch your mouth!" Addison took a step towards Meredith but was taken back when Derek suddenly appeared in front of her.

"Don't you even think about laying on finger on her…"

"Awww and look who it is? Mr. Pathetic himself riding in to the rescue."

"If anyone is pathetic here, its you and her," Derek nodded in Roses direction. "You ok?" He asked Meredith who simply nodded her head, feeling slightly irritated that Derek showed up, she wanted Addison to slap her so that she had an excuse to wipe the floor with her, once and for all.

"Sorry we took our time getting here, we had an incident to deal with." A security guard said just as he arrived with a colleague. Preventing both Rose and Addison from retaliating.

"Is everything under control now?" Richard asked.

"Yes Sir, I will have the written report on your desk later this afternoon. What can we do for you Chief?"

'Very well, thank you. I would like you to escort Ms. Montgomery directly to the office that she used to occupy and make sure that she just removes what is hers. When she has gathered her belongings can you please escort her out of the hospital and to her car, ensuring that she leaves the premises."

"Yes Sir," One of the guards spoke out in a surprised tone. "After you Ms. Montgomery." The guards moved out of her way, whilst Derek put an arm around Meredith and moved her out of the way.

"And one more thing," Richard shouted as Addision and the guards exited into the corridor. "She carries her own junk, either of you lift a finger to help her and you are fired…"

"You really are just as pathetic as everyone in this God forsaken place." Addison directed to the Chief.

"See you in court Ms. Montgomery." Richard simply smiled at her.

"Addison," Meredith called out. "The view from the top just got even better," Meredith giggled.

"Whatever!" Addison groaned as she walked off.

"Meredith," Richard chuckled and shook his head. "Ms. Turner, come through to my office, we can bring your meeting forward…"

"No, please wait… I want to talk to Derek."

"You have got to be kidding me, he has nothing to say to you!" Meredith said in astonishment.

"I didn't ask you, it is none of your business."

"Well that's where you are wrong, anything that hurts him is my business…"

"Mer…" Derek gently squeezed her shoulders in an attempt to get her to calm down.

"No Derek, I am not letting her hurt you anymore."

"I am not going to hurt him, I love him and by the looks of it he wants to talk to me too. For the second time why don't you mind your own business? Derek, how are you?"

"How dare…."

"Mer…" Derek brought her back to his chest and kissed the top of her head, "I love how you are going all cage fighter for me but I can handle this."

Meredith turned to face Derek and looked into his eyes, satisfied that he was telling the truth, she nodded her head before turning back and glaring at Rose.

"Make this quick, what do you want?"

Rose cringed at the close proximity of Meredith to Derek. "I asked how you were?"

"I am great, perfect in fact."

"Well that's good, you have had some time to calm down and reassess things. Derek I really am sorry and now you have had time to think about everything, I hope you have come to see that we really can make this work.

"Oh my God! Are you still going on about that…?"

"Mer, let me handle this? Rose you are either crazy or extremely stupid, but if I never saw you again it would be too soon. I don't want anything to do with you and I regret the day that I ever had anything to do with you."

"You don't mean that, we were good together. And Derek I know we still could be, forget about her, I know she has a hold over you but she will never make you as happy as I could, as we could…" Rose pleaded as she put her hand on her swollen abdomen. "Derek you want children, you could have one with me and raise it as your own, it would know no different. The only thing she can give you is a sick five year old, who has a history with another man…."

"And I love that five year old as if she was my own child already and you are wrong," Derek put his arms around Meredith's waist from behind her, bringing his hands to rest on her small bump. Meredith stiffened slightly as she had a sneaky suspicion that she knew what he was about to do. "Meredith is carrying my child, she is already giving me a baby that will actually share my DNA…"

"You're pregnant?" Both Richard and Rose stated in shock at the same time.

"I am sorry Richard," Meredith smiled, this is not how I planned for you to find out.

"I am sorry too." Derek also added.

"Don't be, this is wonderful news and I am happy for the both of you…"

"Hold on a second, Derek she is lying to you, you can not believe her. I bet that baby belongs to her husband. Think about it, I know you Derek… you are careful, you always use condoms. How can it be your baby?"

"How dare…." Meredith begun, trying to pull herself away from Derek.

"Mer, baby please?" Derek tightened his hold on her and kissed the top of her head again. "You do not know the first thing about me so don't try to pretend you do. I trust Meredith with my life, which, although it is none of your business, is why I didn't use a condom with her. I never have done."

"But that doesn't mean it is yours…"

"Are you not listening, I trust her with my life and I know that she would never lie to me. We do not have to justify that to you."

"Now I think that you have said enough Rose, Meredith… Derek, congratulations. If you don't mind Ms. Turner please enter my office I don't want you on the premises for a minute longer then you have to be.

"This is not over, Derek if you do not want to be made a fool of demand a DNA test." Rose shouted out as Richard took her by the arm and led her into the office.

Meredith waited for the door to shut before turning around and facing Derek. "I know you trust me but I do understand if you want a DNA test to be done on the baby…"

"Hey, there will be none of that…" Derek wrapped his arms back around Meredith. "I know you wouldn't lie to me, if you said you had not slept with Matt, I believe you. I love you…" He finished saying as he brought his lips down to hers briefly.

"I love you too." Meredith replied, as their lips broke apart.

"Although I love you, I am pissed with you though as well…. What on earth made you confront those two? I thought we agreed you would stay away from them?"

"Hmmm," Meredith raised her eyebrows and smirked at Derek. "About that….."

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><p><strong>So as always would love to here your opinions. Please leave a comment and also let me know if you wanted a sneak from the next update sent to you... It looks like Greys will be going on hiatus until Jan after next weeks episode, lets just hope that Meredith makes it out alive following said hiatus. I would love to say that Shonda would not dare go there but with Shonda Rhimes you just never know, what are your thoughts?<br>**

**Jen xx**


	40. Chapter 40

**Hey Everyone, happy new year! Apologies for my prolonged absence I hope that there are some of you out there who are still interested in reading Second Chances. I was recovering from surgery so was unable to update for a while but am now on the road to recovery**, **thank you to those of you who sent me PM's and all of you who commented on the last chapter, I really love to read your comments. Thank you also to everyone who has added Second chances to their alerts and favorites.**

**So just to recap the last update left off with Meredith and Derek c****onfronting Addison and Rose at the hospital. I hope you enjoy the update below...**

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><p>Chapter 40<p>

This was how he wanted to wake up for the rest of his eternity, with the love of his life laying naked in his arms. Usually, they both slept in night-clothes or rather, he slept in his pyjama bottoms, as he was doing now, and Meredith slept in one of his T-shirts and a pair of panties. She had developed that habit after the first night that he had stayed over and needless to say, he had lost countless of T-shirts to her over the last 5 weeks.

Last night though after an extensive round of lovemaking, she had been too tired to put clothes on and had practically fallen asleep immediately after. Derek though had slipped on his pyjama pants as soon as he was satisfied that Meredith had fallen into a deep sleep, there was no way he was running the risk of having Lia climb into bed with them whilst they were both naked. Over the last five weeks, it was a common occurrence that they would awake with Lia curled up into Meredith. It was bound to have happened seeing as she had been sharing a bed with Meredith the whole time they had been living with Cristina and given the fact they were in a new, strange house, it was only natural. However, last night Lia had chosen not to grace them with her presence.

Derek let out a sigh of contentment as he watched Meredith sleep in his arms, he wished he could allow her to sleep the whole day but he knew he would have to wake her soon. A giant smile plastered his face as his hand moved down to her stomach, he allowed himself to gently graze the small swell of her abdomen. Over the last few weeks their baby had really begun to make its presence known and today he was going to get to see his child for the first time. He had been waiting anxiously since he had found out 7 weeks ago that Meredith was carrying his baby and he could not believe that the day of her 13 week scan had finally arrived. Derek leant forward and began to trail soft kisses over the swell of Meredith's stomach, which soon caused her to squirm slightly beneath him.

"That tickles, you need to shave…" Meredith murmured as her hand moved to tangle in Derek's hair.

"Ah, you're awake," Derek began to frantically place more kisses on her stomach causing Meredith to giggle and squirm even more.

"Der, p- please, my b- bladder…" Meredith gasped out around her laughter.

"Ok I'll stop," he said as he placed one more kiss on her belly before moving away. "We wouldn't want you to have an accident now, would we?"

"You ass…" Meredith clipped him around the back of the head.

"You're awake."

"I'm awake. It's kind of hard to sleep when your stubble is tickling me," Meredith smiled as she brought her hand to rub his cheek.

"Good morning." Derek placed a brief kiss to her lips, quickly backing away as he knew he had not yet brushed his teeth.

"Morning…" Meredith said frowning.

"Why are you frowning?"

"The baby got more kisses then me…" Meredith mock pouted.

"I would give you more but I have not brushed my teeth yet and I know how you love my morning breath."

"Well it just so happens that this morning, I do not care." Meredith put her hands around his neck and brought Derek's head down to her and engaged him in a long deep drugging kiss.

"W- wow," Derek panted out breathlessly as he pulled away. "Now that is what I call a proper good morning kiss. I take it you don't feel sick this morning?"

"At the moment, no. I guess the baby is behaving…"

"That's because he knows his Daddy is going to see him today." Derek said as his hand grazed Meredith's belly again.

"He?" Meredith questioned with raised eyebrows.

"Just a feeling I have…" Derek kissed her again, his hand not leaving her stomach.

Meredith shook her head at him as he pulled away from her. "Don't set your heart on that, Der, I don't want you to be disappointed if it isn't a…"

"Shh," he interrupted as he moved his hand from her stomach and placed his index finger on her lips. "I will never be disappointed as long as the baby is healthy I will be happy, I promise…" He brought his lips back downs to Meredith's and engaged her into another long deep kiss. "I love you." He said as he pulled back.

"I love you too, so much…" Meredith smiled. "Two hours, Der, and then we are going to see our baby."

"Two hours… I can't wait. I don't think I can remember ever being this excited…"

"I am sorry you missed my first scan." Meredith frowned.

"You have nothing to be sorry about… I can't deny that I wished I would have been there but under the circumstances I get why you didn't tell me. And I guess it is just another thing for me to hate Rose for. I am just happy that she is out of our lives now, but if you ask me, Richard should have had her committed…"

"Although I completely agree, you know he didn't really have the power to do that, she was not a patient… At least she has been banned from the hospital as well as have been fired, that means we won't have to worry about her showing up for pre natal care."

"That is a relief… anyway we shouldn't be talking about her today, today is a happy day."

"It most certainly is…"

"And tonight is the night, hey?"

"Yep, after the scan when we learn that everything is ok with the baby, we will sit Lia down and tell her that she is going to be a big sister."

"And you are sure you want me to be there?"

"Of course I want you there, you are a part of this and I think Lia is adjusting really well to having you around and…"

"You could do with my support," Derek added, finishing Meredith's sentence. "You're still nervous, aren't you, about telling her?"

"Naturally, she loves the smaller babies at daycare but it is different to having one live with her… And I really just don't know how she is going to take to having to share me with a baby."

"It is going to be a big change for her, but she will be ok, we just have to make sure that she knows that the baby is not going to take her place in anything and that we are still going to love her just as much as we do now, if not more… She is going to be an amazing big sister."

"Oh Derek," Meredith cupped his face as tears come to her eyes. "Thank you, you will never know just how much it means to me, the way that you have completely accepted her."

"Hey, no tears… happy day remember," Derek wiped away a tear that escaped Meredith's eye and allowed her to pull his face down to hers and he kissed her.

"They are happy tears, so they are allowed."

"Ok, they are allowed then." Derek chuckled as he kissed her again. "You know, I have been thinking…" Derek said as he pulled back from her again.

"Ouch, that must have hurt." Meredith giggled.

"Funny... very funny." Derek pouted, "I might just not tell you now…"

"You know, you look so adorable when you pout." Meredith pinched his cheek. "Come on, Baby… tell me what you were thinking?"

"Well, ok then, I was thinking that maybe we would go to the animal shelter this weekend…"

"The animal shelter?" Meredith questioned.

"I was thinking it was time we got Lia that dog, I really think it will help with the baby situation too…"

"You know, Derek Shepherd, you are a genius!"

"Well, yes… I have been told that once or twice…"

Meredith rolled her eyes at him. "It will give her something else to focus on, especially when the baby arrives. It is a brilliant idea, I will let you break that news to her."

"She is going to love it, but I don't think we should tell her until we get there."

"Really? I was thinking we could tell her tonight after we have told her about the baby?"

"Mer, today is Wednesday…"

"So?"

"It will be another 3 days before both of us will be able to take her…"

"Oh…"

"Yeah oh… We won't be able to get her to stop talking and not to mention we will never be able to get her to go to bed at night because she is going to be too excited."

"I guess you are right, and plus it will be more of a surprise if we tell her when we get there."

"It will be."

"Der? Speaking of Lia… have you noticed that we are alone?"

"I did…"

"You did? Are you feeling ok?" Meredith put the back of her hand to his forehead to check for a fever. "You noticed we were alone and you didn't jump me?"

Derek chuckled, "Simply holding you was enough for me this morning."

"And kissing my belly."

"And kissing your belly… I could jump you now though…" Derek said suggestively in a husky tone as he wiggled his eyebrows.

"You could…" she breathed out and as if on cue there was a knock on the bedroom door. "Or maybe not… I am sorry."

"Nonsense, there is nothing to be sorry about…" Derek quickly kissed Meredith and jumped out of bed, throwing a long t-shirt to her before he moved to open the bedroom door.

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><p><strong>Please leave me a comment on your thoughts and also let me know if you still are interested in reading and would like me to continue to update.<strong>

******Jen xx**


	41. Chapter 41

**Thank you again to all of you who commented and sent me a PM. ****I really do appreciate every comment ****I receive and it really does mean a lot that there are so many of you still enjoying and reading second chances. I know I sent out a mean teaser to those of you who requested a sneak peak from the update below but I hope below update clears everything up lol.**

**Hope you enjoy, it's scan time...**

Chapter 41

"Lia loves that daycare doesn't she?" Derek asked Meredith as they took a seat in the waiting room. He was trying to make short conversation as they waited anxiously to be called through for their scan. He couldn't help but think of the last time he was in the very same waiting room.

"She does, I dread to think how she is going to take to starting at a new school."

"She will be ok, she took to the day care pretty quickly… she is very sociable."

"That she is…" Meredith smiled.

"But you are still worried?" Derek asked as he picked up her hand and cradled it in his.

"I am, I can't help it. Its just… it was not so long ago that she was sick and I know that she has made a brilliant recovery and that all of her recent scans were clear but her immune system is still compromised. She will be mixing with such a much larger number of children and is bound to catch something…"

"Yes and you are right she is going to be more susceptible to common infections however that will just help her immune system to gain in strength again. I could also prescribe her some additional vitamin tablets, which will help. I know it's hard Mer but try to think like a Doctor, if this was anyone else's child, what would you advise?'

"I know…" Meredith smiled at Derek before she turned in her chair and rested her head on his shoulder. " I am sorry."

"Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about." Derek put his arm around her shoulder pulling her further into him as he kissed the top of her head. "It is completely natural for you to worry, I am concerned too and I didn't live through her being sick for that long or have the fear that we would lose her. But Meredith we have to step back a little and allow her to grow and do the things that normal healthy children do. Because Meredith, Lia is now a normal healthy child."

"Thank you," Meredith pulled off of Derek's shoulder and turned to look at him, pressing her lips briefly against his in a chaste kiss.

'Nothing to thank me for," Derek smiled. "Now when do we start visiting schools?"

"I have a list, shall we look next week? The new semester will start in four weeks and I start back to work properly in two weeks."

"Um… That is going to be fun."

"You can get that dirty out of your eyes, the only thing which will be happening in offices and on call rooms; is work and sleep."

"Oh come on." Derek pouted. "You are kidding right?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

Meredith didn't get the chance to answer though as a nurse called them. "Dr. Grey." The nurse smiled at Meredith as she acknowledged her and began to stand up.

"I guess you will have to wait to find out the answer to your question." Meredith whispered to Derek in a teasing tone as they walked down the corridor, following the nurse to the exam room.

"You tease." Derek hissed quietly as they entered the exam room, earning a quiet giggle from Meredith.

"Hi I am Dr. Lucy Fields, the new OB GYN…" A blonde woman with messy curls said as she stepped forward to greet Meredith and Derek, her hand going to Meredith first.

"Dr. Meredith Grey," Meredith reciprocated Lucy's handshake.

Lucy then went on to shake Derek's hand too. "It is a pleasure to meet both of you. I understand that we will all be working together?"

'Yes we will, Meredith starts here officially in a couple of weeks but I am already on staff."

"That's great, I look forward to working with you both."

"Likewise," Meredith returned smiling, she was relieved that she no longer had to travel to another hospital for her appointments.

"Dr. Grey…"

"Please call me Meredith."

"Thank you, and the same goes for both of you, call me Lucy… We are going to be colleagues, we should be on a more personal footing."

"I agree," Derek joined in.

"Now that's settled," Lucy laughed. "Meredith do you want to hop up onto the bed? If you could roll your top up and lower your trousers to beneath your bump, that would be great."

"Yes of course."

"I noticed from your notes that your first scan was conducted at another hospital?" Lucy queried as she began to measure Meredith's abdomen with a tape measure.

"Yes that's correct, lets just say that the circumstances at the time were a little difficult and also that I did not particularly get along with your predecessor."

'Ah yes the infamous Dr. Addison Montgomery." Lucy said with a puzzled look.

"Well no longer Doctor." Derek added.

"I know I heard and well I can't say that it is a major loss to the medical world." Lucy agreed as she removed the tape measure and walked back over to her desk to look at Meredith's notes.

"I absolutely agree with you…" Meredith began but trailed off when she saw Lucy's puzzled expression. "Lucy, is everything ok?"

Derek's body automatically stiffened when he heard Meredith asking if everything was ok. He squeezed Meredith's hand tightly as they shared a concerned look before looking towards Lucy who had picked up a tube of lubricant and she prepared to put it onto Meredith's stomach.

"By your notes you are just over 13 weeks pregnant, only you are measuring more then you should be…"

"What does that mean?" Derek interrupted as he felt his heart clench, what if a mistake had been made? He knew from when he did his Gynie rotations during residency that the measurement of the bottom of the uterus to the fundus in centimeters coincided with the gestation of the pregnancy in weeks. If the measurement was larger it meant that Meredith could be further along… That could only mean that the baby was not his… Derek felt his head begin to spin and he took in a deep breath.

Meredith squeezed Derek's hand tightly to reassure him, she knew what he was thinking and she could see the devastation beginning to cloud over his features. "Lucy there is no way that I can be more then 13 weeks pregnant…"

"There can be a lot of reason's for the measurements to be out. Lets just take a look before we begin to panic and draw wrong conclusions. Now this may be a little cold," Lucy said as she smeared the jelly onto Meredith's stomach and began to run the doppler across it. "This explains everything…"

"What? What is it Lucy?" Meredith asked in a panic.

"Is the baby ok?" Derek frantically asked, all thoughts of Meredith making a mistake with the dates instantly leaving his mind. The only thing that mattered was that the baby was ok.

"Your babies seem perfectly fine," Lucy replied with a smile as she turned the monitor towards them so that they could see exactly what she was seeing.

"Oh my God!" Derek exclaimed, tears rushed to his eyes and he gripped Meredith's hand tighter as he took in the image in front of him, where two fetuses could clearly be seen.

"I- I don't understand…" Meredith stuttered, her heart suddenly beating really fast.

"I can see from your notes that a multiple pregnancy was not detected at your first scan. It isn't uncommon, one of the babies was obviously hiding behind the other." Lucy answered the question Meredith was trying to ask.

"We- we are having twins?" Derek asked.

"That's what two babies generally mean Der," Meredith rolled her eyes and promptly reached up with her hand to swipe away the tears that had formed in her eyes.

"Are they ok?" Derek asked as Lucy continued to scan Meredith's abdomen.

"They look great and I am certain that there are no more hiding in there."

"Thank God for that," Meredith giggled.

"They have separate placenta's which means that they are non identical, Twin A is slightly larger then Twin B but that is not uncommon and is absolutely nothing to worry about. Of course it is too early to tell the sex yet… you will be able to find out about 22 weeks if you want to."

"We want to…" Both Meredith and Derek said in unison, causing Meredith to giggle and Derek bent down and quickly brushed his lips over hers, his hand leaving hers to join his other one that had moved to cup her face.

"God I love you," Derek breathed as he pulled back and brushed one hand over the top of Meredith's hair, whilst the other remained resting on her jaw as his thumb stroked her cheekbone.

"I love you too, so, so much." Meredith whispered, her voice becoming choked up with her emotions as she locked eyes with Derek before they both turned back to catch a last glimpse of their babies before the monitor was switched off.

"I will print you a few copies of the stills I took, some shots of them together and some of them on their own. For now we will call them Twin A and B to identify them."

"We will have to think of something more imaginative then that…" Derek chuckled as his hands moved to take the tissues from Lucy so that he could begin to clean the gel from Meredith's stomach, quickly bending down and placing two kisses one to each side of her abdomen, before he helped her up.

"Oh I can just imagine what you are going to come up with." Meredith giggled.

"You know she really does not the give me the credit I deserve." Derek pouted as he looked at Lucy.

"Oh I am staying out of this one," Lucy held her hands up laughing. "Meredith how are you feeling generally?" Lucy asked as she gestured for them to both move to take a seat by her desk.

"Not too bad actually, occasional sickness and bouts of tiredness. Nothing I have not been able to handle." Meredith answered as she walked over and lowered herself into a chair.

"That's good and sounds perfectly normal. As you are carrying twins though you can expect the tiredness to be a lot more extreme then it was when you were carrying your last child to term. Now I read from your notes that you had a normal delivery and that the pregnancy went to plan and also that you have one child?"

"Yes that's correct." Meredith said and tried to ignore the brief stabbing pain that went through her heart, the same one she experienced whenever she spoke about the number of children she had. She should have already had two. Derek must have sensed what she was thinking as he gently squeezed her hand and reassuringly smiled at her.

"A lot of OB's often suggest a caesarian section with multiple births but in my opinion it is not always necessary. As long as the babies are both in the correct position I see no reason why you can't have a normal delivery. But of course I will go with whatever your preference is."

"Well if I could avoid having to have a caesarian section I would much rather prefer a natural delivery…"

"Hold on a second though," Derek interrupted. "Isn't that more dangerous for Meredith?" He directed the question towards Lucy.

"As I said, as long as both babies are in the correct position there is a much lower risk then having a c section. I think we should wait until Meredith is at 32 weeks gestation before deciding, by then the babies would be settled into their positions."

"That sounds good to me. Derek?" Meredith looked at him, she was determined that he would be involved in all decisions and she would do what he wanted.

"I think that is a good idea too, we won't worry much about it until then and will go with whatever is safest for you and the babies." Derek and Meredith shared a smile as Meredith brought their joined hands to her stomach.

"Now Meredith I just need to do some routine checks, your blood pressure and I am also afraid that I need to take some bloods from you. Shall I do it now so that we get it over and done with?"

"Ok," Meredith frowned she really did hate needles but as she turned and looked at Derek, their eyes locking transferring a million and one emotions as their joined hands rested on her belly. The needle she was about to receive was far from her thoughts…

**So as always I truly welcome your thoughts and let me know if you would like a teaser from the next update in your comment but please remember I can only send to those of you who send signed reviews.**

**Jen xxx**


	42. Chapter 42

**Hi Everyone, sorry took me a little longer to update then I anticipated, life is kicking me in the butt now that I have returned to work following my operation. Time just seems to flying so fast and before I know it the whole week has already flown by, thank you for your patience and continued interest in reading ****my story, I will do my best to ensure I update more quickly.**

**Anyway enough of my ramble and on with the update, I hope that you thoroughly enjoy...**

Chapter 37

"Again, Again…" Lia begged from her place on the sofa in between Derek and Meredith.

Derek chuckled and shook his head, he and Meredith had just been subjected to watching the last scene of the Little Mermaid four times already and now Lia wanted to watch it again. He knew why Meredith kept giving in to her, she figured if Lia was in a happy mood it would be easier to break the news to her and he was also pretty certain that Meredith was also trying to prolong the inevitable, one look at her told him it was the case. "Please Lia, not again." He said around his laugh.

"What's wrong Derek I thought ya liked it? You said it was your bestest scene too when the prince got his princess…"

"Oh it is but we have watched it four times now…"

"And one more would make it um…" Lia held her fingers up and started to count them, "five and five is my lucky number."

"Oh it is, is it?" Derek smiled at her and looked to Meredith for help. Although he spent practically every night at the house with Meredith and Lia, he still didn't feel comfortable telling the little girl what to do and with asserting authority, he left that to Meredith. The look on his face also told Meredith that they were going to do this now and that he was onto her delay tactics, the smirk on her face and the blush which appeared told him she understood loud and clear.

"You are such a smarty pants," Meredith put her arm and around Lia and pulled her closer, placing a kiss on the top of her head. "Derek do you mind to switch the TV off please?"

"But Mama?" Lia looked up at Meredith with puppy dog eyes and a big pout on her lips, which caused her to giggle.

"Sweetie no matter how cute you look Derek is still going to turn the TV and DVD off, it is almost your bed time and Mommy and Derek have got something to tell you." Lia was about to protest again so Meredith quickly added, "I tell you what though," she began as she looked at Derek with a smirk, she would get him back for forcing her hand. "Derek is on an early shift tomorrow so he will be able to watch The Little Mermaid with you again right from the beginning and if you are super good he will even watch the ending over and over again with you five times."

"Really Derek?" Lia excitedly exclaimed as Derek walked back to join them on the sofa after he had turned off the TV. No matter how hard Meredith tried she was unable to stifle a giggle at the look that Derek gave her.

Yes of course princess," Derek ruffled her hair as he sat back down. He chuckled as Meredith giggled, he would let her have this, after all nothing could dampen the mood that he was in and he knew it was about to get even better. He wasn't worried about Lia's reaction like Meredith was; he knew she was going to be over the moon. After all she would have two small babies to play dress up with.

"Yay and I know you can play the prince Eric and I will be Ariel…"

"Hmmm we will see about that tiger," Derek and Meredith both laughed at the same time as Lia bounced happily on the sofa. Meredith took a deep breath and Derek put his arm behind Lia to take Meredith's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze before letting it go.

"Princess, you know Mommy said that we have something to tell you?" Meredith begun.

"Yes Mama, am I in trouble? I didn't mean to leave my dirty pajamas under my bed, I really did mean to put them in the laundry basket but I got playing and forgot." Lia bit her lower lip as she expectantly looked up at Meredith.

Meredith giggled again as she took Lia's hand. "No honey you are not in any trouble, but I did wonder what happened to your Dora pajama's. We have some exciting news to tell you, you know how when your aunty Kim had a baby and you said that you wanted to be a big sister like your cousin Laura?"

"Huh huh," Lia nodded.

"Well princess, Mommy has a baby in her belly, well two babies in fact. You are going to be a big sister." It was now Meredith's turn to nervously bite her lower lip as she waited for Lia's reaction.

"But my Daddy isn't here anymore, how did they get there?" Lia said with a puzzled frown as she looked between Meredith and Derek.

Of all the things for her to come out with Meredith was not expecting that, she automatically tensed and looked to Derek for help.

"Lia princess, your Daddy is not the babies daddy, they are going to have a different daddy from you…" Derek begun but was interrupted by Lia.

"Who is their Daddy then?" Lia's puzzled face was growing deeper by the second; this was definitely not how Meredith planned for this to go.

"Lia Princess, Derek is going to be the babies daddy."

"You are?" Lia turned to Derek.

"I am," he answered with a smile.

"But you and Mommy are not married. When aunty Kim had Max in her belly, you and daddy told me it got there because when a lady and a man get married god gives them babies." Lia's expectant look now turned back to Meredith.

Meredith looked as if she wanted to shoot herself in the foot. The innocence of children. Her and Matt had simply told Lia that when she had asked how the baby got there as a quick way to placate her and avoid having to have the birds and the bee's conversation, she was only three years old at the time. "No sweetie, Mommy and Derek are not married," Meredith briefly looked nervously at Derek it was not a subject that they had really broached but she knew that he wanted to marry her, if anything she was surprised that he had not actually proposed already. "But sometimes when two adults love each other lots like Mommy and Derek do, they get given a baby."

"Wow, you two must love each other lots and lots if you got given two babies," Lia giggled, her giggle was infectious because it caused both Derek and Meredith to follow suit.

"We most certainly do," Derek answered her. "And we also love you lots too."

"So the babies are in your tummy now Mommy?"

"Yes sweetie they are, right here…" Meredith placed her hand on her stomach.

"But you're not very fat?" Lia questioned as she reached to put her hand on Meredith's tummy.

"Thanks' princess," Meredith giggled. "I am not right now because they are very tiny but as they grow bigger my belly will grow bigger too."

"Like the pictures you showed me of you from when I was in your tummy?"

"Yes, but it might get a little bigger because there are two babies in there instead of one."

"That is super cool, I never knew anyone who had two babies in their belly before, will all the kids in my new school think I am super cool?"

"They are going to think you are super cool anyway princess," Derek ruffled her hair again. "But when they find out that you are going to be the big sister to twins they will think it is super cool."

"What are twins?" Lia asked.

"Twins are what two babies who are born at the same time to the same Mommy and Daddy are called." Meredith answered for Derek.

"Oh ok," Lia frowned and bit her lower.

"What is it princess?" Meredith asked, throwing a concerned look at Derek.

"Can we call them something else too? Because I don't like the name twins much and they may get confused if they both have the same name."

Instant relief flooded Meredith and she let out a small giggle as she kissed Lia's head. "Oh honey of course we will give them other names, we won't call them twins all the time, they will each have their own names when they are born."

"Phew I was worried then Mommy, what names will they have?"

"We are not really sure yet princess, that is something me, you and Mommy need to decide."

"I can choose their names?"

Meredith giggled as she threw Derek a look, which told him that he had walked right into that one. "Honey you can most definitely help but Mommy and Derek will need to decide."

"I know, I know…" Lia excitedly bounced up and down. "I have the other names for my twins." Meredith and Derek both braced themselves, each had an amused smile on their face and Meredith loved the way that Lia had called them her twins. "We can call one of them Dora and the other one Boots."

Derek coughed and Meredith stifled another giggle, "Honey I don't think we can call them that…"

"Why not?" Lia pouted.

"Well for starters we don't know if they are going to be girls or boys?"

"Why not? I want a sister and a brother, that way I will be even more super cool."

"Honey you can not decide what you get, and we won't be able to find out for a while."

"That's not fair. So you don't know if they are going to be a sister or a brother."

"No not yet honey, it will be a surprise. You never know you might end up with two sisters or two brothers, wouldn't that be just as cool as having one of each?"

"I guess so, when will I know?"

"When they get a little bit bigger we may be able to find out before they are born but sometimes people have to wait until the baby comes out to see if it is a girl or a boy."

"But why?"

"You know how girls are different from boys?"

"Yes, boys have worms but girls don't."

This was certainly turning out to be more humorous then she could ever have imagined. Meredith couldn't help but giggle at the memory of when Lia and her cousin Laura were helping Matt's sister Kim change a newborn Max's nappy. Both Lia and Laura exclaimed that he had a worm between his legs; the conversation that followed that was just as entertaining. "That's right honey and when a baby is in a Mommy's tummy the doctor puts a special wand onto it so she can see the baby on the a TV screen but sometimes if the baby has it's legs closed the doctor can not see between it's legs to see if it has a worm or not."

Lia briefly bit her bottom lip before moving her face close to Meredith's stomach; she rubbed it with her hand and began to talk in her serious voice. "Right Dora and Boots you have got to make sure that you keep your legs open so that we can see if you have worms or not." She kissed Meredith's Belly before pulling her head back and Meredith run her hand over her head as she shared a smile with Derek.

"When can they come out? I want to meet them."

"I know you do and so do Derek and I but they can not come out for a while yet honey, they need to grow a lot bigger."

"But next time we go to see the Doctor to have a scan you come with us if you like princess and see them on a TV?" Derek offered and looked at Meredith to be sure he hadn't overstepped any boundaries; her reassuring smile told him that he had not.

"Oh yes please Derek. Can I Mommy?"

"Of course you can sweetie and actually how would you like to see a picture of the babies? The doctor took some today with a special camera."

"Show me, I want to see Dora and Boots."

Derek laughed and pulled out his wallet to get a copy of the sonogram, he was dreading the day when he and Meredith would have to tell her that the babies would not be called Dora and Boots, but for now they would let her have her fun. He handed her the picture and immediately smiled at her frown, he knew she couldn't make anything out and he went about explaining the images to her as he shared a smile with Meredith.

"Can I keep this to go on my table next to my bed? It can go next to my picture of Daddy? That way I can see them everyday until they come?"

Meredith's heart instantly swelled, she was being so accepting, and she couldn't believe how she had easily come around to it. "You can't keep that one honey as it is Derek's one…."

"No Mer, its ok Lia can have that one I will take one of the spares…" Derek interrupted her.

"Oh thank you Derek," Lia got up and threw her arms around Derek's neck and kissed his cheek. Derek and Meredith shared another smile and Meredith rubbed Lia's back.

"Be careful with the picture Lia," Meredith giggled as Lia pulled back from Derek and instantly stared at the picture again. "I have an idea, tomorrow you and I will go to the store and we can pick out a nice frame for it to go in. What do you think about that?"

"Yay, can it be a pink frame?"

"Yes it can be a pink frame." Meredith rolled her eyes at Derek as she laughed again. Ever since Cristina had given Lia a pink wig and Derek had shared the story of how Meredith had once had pink hair, Lia had become really obsessed with the colour pink.

"Mama I have a question?"

"What is it honey?"

"How will the babies come out of your belly?"

"Well when it is time for them to be born I will go to the hospital and the Doctor will take them out."

"Oh ok, like a surgery?" Lia simply asked and let out a huge yawn immediately after.

"Yes just like a surgery and I think that yawn means that it is time for bed young lady." Meredith gently tickled her.

"Ok Mommy, I am sleepy. Can I go and just put this picture against Daddy's one for tonight until we get the frame tomorrow?"

"Of course you can my angel, you go up now and I will be up in a few minutes to get you changed and tuck you in. Say good night to Derek."

"Night Derek," Lia cuddled him again and kissed his cheek.

"Night princess," Derek said in return as he too kissed her cheek and then chuckled as she ran off and darted up the stairs.

Meredith stood up and lent over to begin to clear away the cups that were on the coffee table but Derek stood up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her up from her bent over position and into his chest. "Leave those I will take care of them." He said as he kissed the side of her neck.

"Mmmmm." Meredith sighed.

"I think that went really well," Derek murmured as he continued to kiss up and down Meredith's neck.

"I was worried at first," Meredith said as she turned around in Derek's arms to face him, breaking the contact his mouth had with her neck. Her hormones were through the roof, it didn't take much for her to get turned on and she already felt Derek's fast forming erection begin to press into her back. She didn't want to start anything that they couldn't finish off just yet, first she had to get Lia into bed and get her off to sleep.

"I know but it turned out alright in the end, she is an amazing little girl, just like her Mommy…" Derek breathed as he angled his head and began to place kisses on Meredith's jaw and down the column of her neck.

"Derek," Meredith hoarsely breathed, before she pushed on his chest, giggling to get him to stop.

"Spoil sport," he said pouting as he moved his hands to cup her ass bringing her in tighter to his erection that was now fully formed.

"Let me go get Lia in bed and fast asleep and then we can continue this in our room," Meredith pinched his butt as she moved out of his arms and made her way over to the stairs.

"That had better be a promise," Derek joked. "You owe me!" He shouted after her.

"Oh yeah and just what do I owe you for?" She shouted back as she made her way up the stairs.

"The Little Mermaid from the beginning and the last scene five times over?" He yelled back with a smile, which only got wider as the sound of Meredith's hysterical giggling filled the house.

**So as always desperate for your feedback, it's what keeps me going and encouraging me to write especially as I have so little time right now. Let me know if you would like a teaser from the next update messaged to you.**

**Have a good week everyone**

**Jen xx**


	43. Chapter 43

**Hey Everyone thank you all for being so understanding for my lack of updates and I apologize for not getting teasers** **out to you all**. **I promise though that I did read everyone of your comments and I can not say enough about just how much I appreciate your feedback. I was going to send out teasers to those of you who requested and I didn't get to send to but then I just thought that you would probably just appreciate the entire update more.**

**Without further ado lets get to the update, be warned it contains MATURE content so just in case there is anyone who gets offended by porny content** **skip to the ending. Hope you enjoy...**

Chapter 38

Meredith looked at herself once more in the mirror admiring the way the white satin nightgown that she had just changed into clung to the slight swell of the bump on her stomach. She couldn't help but smile as she ran her hand over it. She was looking forward to the future and everything now seemed to be falling into place. Her main concern of course had been Lia but now that she was in the know and was even happy about the babies, Meredith was able to let go of the deep breath she was not even aware that she had been holding on to.

To say that she was shocked at the discovery that she was carrying twins was an understatement but she couldn't be happier and neither could Derek. So much had changed in the last six months but for once she could say that she was well and truly happy at the direction, which their lives were heading in. She walked towards the bathroom door feeling very satisfied with how she looked, she wasn't a vain person but there was something about this pregnancy which just made her feel incredibly sexy, maybe it was the double amount of hormones surging through her. She was planning on going downstairs and surprising Derek with the new nightdress which she had purchased.

Lia was now fast asleep and she was looking forward to spending some well overdue quality alone time with Derek. As she exited the bathroom she got a surprise though as Derek was already laying in their bed waiting for her. She couldn't help but blush furiously at the heated look, which Derek instantly gave her. "Hey, you're upstairs and your naked." She smiled at him.

"I am, and I am also in bed waiting for you," he smirked as he pushed back the duvet, climbed out of the bed and stalked towards her. "And you look absolutely amazing," Derek breathed into her ear when he reached her. His hands instantly circled her waist and then began to run up and down her body, relishing the feel of the thin layer of silk separating their bodies. He always loved the look and feel of her body but right now he found her absolutely insatiable, maybe it was the cave man instinct inside him. She was carrying his babies inside of her, she was his and he played a role in the fact that her body was changing.

"I take it you approve then?" Meredith said as her hands ran down his back and come to rest on his naked ass, she gave it a gentle squeeze before pulling it in tighter to her so that his awaiting erection hit her stomach.

"Oh I more then approve," Derek groaned at their contact. His mouth instantly sought out hers as he pulled her even tighter to him. Their lips clashed against one another and they began to move in the rhythm that they knew only too well. Meredith moaned loudly as Derek sucked on her lower lip, his tongue was licking along her lip begging for entry. She decided to tease him briefly but that didn't last long as she was on fire and needed whatever part of him she could get inside her body into it and fast. She opened her mouth with an erotic growl to which Derek chuckled against her mouth before he began to thrust his tongue deeply into it. He began to run his hands down to the hem of her nightgown and then slipped them under the gown slowly brushing his hands up the back of her naked thighs. His hands came to a stop as they reached her panties, which were the same material as the gown that she was wearing. Derek hooked his thumbs into the waistband and begun to slide them down her legs and when they passed the top of her thighs and were able to continue the journey towards the floor on their own accord he let them go.

As soon as Meredith felt her underwear fall to the floor she pulled one foot out of them and raised her leg so that her knee came to rest on Derek's naked hip, giving his probing fingers more access to her core. His fingers had only just entered her, his thumb had only just pressed against her nub and she was already approaching a fast orgasm. She began to moan uncontrollably as his fingers moved faster inside of her. "Der- Der, that's, that's it!" She panted out against his neck as she tumbled over the edge into oblivion, collapsing against him. She began to suck on the naked skin of his collarbone in an attempt to stifle the noise she was making, the last thing she wanted was to wake Lia up.

Derek couldn't believe just how quickly he had brought Meredith to orgasm, he let out a satisfied chuckle as he felt her core clenching around his fingers within less then a minute of them entering her. He absolutely loved the pregnancy hormones and if they continued to make her body this responsive to him, he was going to make it his personal goal to keep her bare foot and pregnant for the rest of their lives. "You're ok," he gently soothed down her back with one hand as his other hand had now moved to hold her leg up around his waist, she softly whimpered against him as she came down from her high. He cock was so hard and was begging to be inside of her but he wanted to give her a moment to get breath back before he drove it into her. Although apparently according to Meredith she didn't need any recovery time, her hand was already reaching down around him and she raised her leg higher shifting her core further towards him as she attempted to get him inside of her.

"Der, I need you inside now," Meredith moaned as she bit on his earlobe and rubbed her core against his already weeping Penis.

"I need to be inside you," Derek groaned in response and he lifted Meredith's other leg, lifting her by her thighs so that both of her legs were now wrapped around his waist. He carried her over to the bed and gently laid her onto it, taking hold of her nightgown he slowly pushed it up her body as he moved his body over hers. "As beautiful as you look in this I need it off," Derek groaned in a husky tone.

Meredith arched her back enabling Derek to push her nightgown further up her body revealing her breasts, which were naked underneath it, to him. "Der, Der be gentle…." Meredith moaned as Derek's mouth instantly attached to her right breast, his mouth latched onto her areola and he had instantly began sucking on her nipple. He eased up on the pressure he was applying as her fingers painfully wound in and tugged at his hair.

Derek continued to remove her nightgown and at the same time he moved to lavish her left breast with the same attention he had paid to the right one. When he had freed her from the night gown his face moved up her body away from her breasts and his lips reconnected with hers, maintaining eye contact with her as he pushed his cock inside her in one fluid motion. They both moaned loudly into each other's mouths as their bodies found their familiar rhythm. Derek wanted to take it a little slower then usual but that was impossible with the way that Meredith was edging him on and the way that her extremely tighter then usual virginal walls were clenching around him and strangling his cock. Before long Meredith's body was rocked by another orgasm and she came hard, taking Derek over the edge with her. Her walls clenched so tight around him that it felt as if the blood supply to his cock had been cut off, he didn't even have to move his body inside her to empty the last of his load as her walls squeezed it out from him.

"Oh God I need- needed that," Meredith panted as their body's collapsed together in a sweaty heap.

"I cant- can't even…" Derek gasped out as he pulled out of Meredith and rolled onto his back, bringing Meredith with him onto his chest.

"You can't what baby?" Meredith breathlessly giggled.

"That was amazing, thank you." Derek said once his breathing had calmed down. He kissed the top of Meredith's sweaty head, he couldn't help but smile at the state her hair was now in, she had taken the time to brush it all out and now it was just one tangled sweaty mess. "Are you ok?"

"Are you kidding?" Meredith moved her head and rested her chin on Derek's chest making eye contact with him. "That was beyond amazing, I should be thanking you." She giggled and placed a kiss on his chest.

"The babies are ok?"

"They are fine Der. You can't actually hurt them you know?"

"I know…"

"Then stop worrying." Meredith shook her head at him smiling as she leaned her head forward to capture his lips, Derek met the movement halfway.

"I love you so much, Lia and the babies too."

"I know Der and we all love you too." They shared another brief kiss but the ringing of Meredith's cell interrupted their moment.

"Who the hell is calling at this time in the evening?" Meredith groaned as she rolled away from Derek to grab her cell which she had left on charge earlier, on her bed side table. "It's Amy…" She informed Derek as she looked at the caller display.

"Ignore it," Derek said as he tried to take the cell away from Meredith.

Meredith slapped Derek's hand away and giggled as she answered the call. "Be nice," She warned Derek before putting the phone to her ear.

"Oh please tell me that I have not just interrupted sex…" Amelia groaned into the phone and Meredith could just imagine her cringing and let out a giggle.

"Hi to you too Amy and if you must know you are ok, we finished 5 minutes ago."

"Meredith!" Both Derek and Amelia hissed at the same time causing Meredith to giggle.

"Well, she asked." Meredith said to Derek and he shook his head at her. He laid back on the bed and reached up his hand to begin to play with the ends of Meredith's hair, she smiled in response to him as she returned to the telephone conversation.

"I didn't really want an answer." Amelia responded and Meredith giggled.

"Everything ok Amy?"

"Yeah everything is fine, I thought I would just give you a call and see if you had any news to tell me?

Meredith knew straight away that she had somehow managed to find out about the twins. "How did you find out?" Derek gave Meredith a puzzled look as she looked at him and frowned, he mouthed the words, "What is it?" to her but she shook her head at him indicating she wasn't going to answer him yet.

"It is true then? I can't believe you didn't tell me straight away."

"It's true, your brother has supersonic sperm and knocked me up with not just one but two babies…"

"Yayyyyyyy," Amelia yelled into the phone. "I am so happy for you guys, I can't even begin to tell you just how much and that is why I forgive you for not telling me right away."

"I was going to call you first thing in the morning I swear. We have just been in our own little bubble and we told Lia this evening too."

"How did Lia take it?"

"Really well, which is such a relief. I am sorry I didn't call straight away. Just how did you find out anyhow?"

"I am happy she took it well, I knew she would and you don't have to apologize really. I know just what my brother is like where you are concerned, I am surprised he broke away long enough to tell Mom the news…"

"What?" Meredith questioned and at the same time she moved her head away from Derek so that he could no longer reach her hair.

"What's wrong?" Derek asked sitting up, he could hear Amelia talking away and he suddenly got a horrible feeling in his gut as he realized what they must be, talking about. God he was so stupid.

"Yeah Derek called Mom earlier, she told me the news. She was going on about it for over an hour. Mer she is so happy and is really looking forward to Sunday…" Amelia continued.

"Sunday?" Meredith glared at Derek. Oh yes he was in big trouble, he thought, Amelia and her big mouth.

"Don't tell me Derek hasn't told you? I must admit I was surprised when Mom said you would be at the family dinner, I just thought maybe it was because you were so deliriously happy about the twins…."

"Amy, sorry I have to go." Meredith interrupted her. "I will call you tomorrow." Meredith didn't even wait for Amelia's reply before she hung up her cell and tossed it back onto the bedside table.

"Mer, I can explain…" Derek instantly began to say.

"Oh I really can't wait to hear this. You had better have a damn good explanation or unless you can tell me that Amy actually imagined a conversation with your Mom whereby she said that you told her about the twins and also that you agreed that I would go to dinner at her house on Sunday?"

"Mer, please calm down…"

"Calm down?" Meredith got off of the bed and walked over to her chest of drawers and pulled out a pair of pajamas. "What the hell were you thinking?" She demanded as she pulled the clothes on.

"I was thinking that I found out that I was expecting twins and I saw my babies for the first time, and that I wanted to share it with my mom, their grandmother."

"You have got to be kidding me, she may be your mother but there is no way that she will play any part in the twins lives…"

"What do you mean?"

"You know full well what I mean. Why would you even want her to have anything to do with our lives?"

"Meredith she is my mother…"

"Have you conveniently forgotten everything that she did to us nineteen years ago?"

"Of course I haven't," Derek begun as he got off of the bed and picked his boxers up off of the floor, where he had discarded them earlier. "But Meredith it wasn't just her, come on you know that your mum was the one who instigated everything."

"That may be but your parents including your mom backed her and didn't stick up for us."

"Your father backed her too, and didn't stand up for us either."

"Precisely and I know that, which is why I have not gone running to him to share our news with him. I thought we were on the same page Derek…"

"She is my Mom," Derek repeated. "Meredith you are being unreasonable…"

"I am being unreasonable? How dare you?" Meredith rounded on Derek. "You went behind my back knowing full well where I stood, you agreed that I would attend dinner at her house without even discussing it with me first. I don't get why she even wants to be involved in the first place?"

"Meredith they are her grandchildren, she wants to be a part of their lives. Look I am sorry…" Derek began but Meredith instantly cut him off.

"Save it Derek I don't want to hear it! The baby we were having nineteen years ago was her grandchild too but yet she didn't want to be a part of its life. And thanks to all of them, your mother included our baby didn't even get to have a life. As far as I am concerned my children don't have any grandparents, they are all dead."

Derek glared at Meredith as he began throwing the rest of his clothes on. "Look you are obviously upset, I can't talk to you when you are like this. I am going to go to the trailer to give us both a chance to calm down before one of us says something which we are going to regret."

"Yeah that's right you go sulking off, I forgot that, that's your thing. The majority of people grow up but here we are nineteen years later and you are behaving in exactly the same way."

"Have you ever heard of the saying, pot calling the kettle black?" Derek had finished throwing the rest of his clothes on and began to make his way to the door. How had it come to this? Less then an hour ago they were extremely happy and now they were in the middle of having the biggest fight in their lives ever.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Think about it Meredith. God I love you but we have to meet halfway here and right now that isn't going to happen. I will give you time to calm down."

"Derek leave, right now I am just too angry to even look at you, just get out." Meredith's eyes clashed with Derek's briefly before she looked away. Meredith watched him walk out of the bedroom before she fell onto the bed and finally let her tears get the better of her.

Derek turned around and left not wanting to antagonize her any further, he knew for the sake of the twins she needed to be calm. He accepted that he had gone about this the wrong way but at the same time he thought that Meredith was over reacting. He would stay away from her for the night to give them both a chance to calm down. Hopefully tomorrow she would see things differently, he understood where she was coming from but at the end of the day he needed his Mom, especially now and there was no way he would deny her, her grandchildren. He just had to pray that Meredith would see things his way and let go of the past before it destroyed them for a second time.

**Please don't hate me, you know I am a drama queen hehe. I promise they won't be angry with each other for long lol. Would love to hear your thoughts and again if anyone wants a teaser from the next update let me know...**

**Jen xx**


	44. Chapter 44

**Hi Everyone, I really do hang my head in shame over the length of time I have left you guys hanging for an update. I can apologize enough for the delay it has taken for me to get this posted, real life is just seriously kicking my butt right now. I have a long update for you though, I hope you enjoy...**

Chapter 44

"Mer, let me do that. Here you come and take a seat, you look exhausted."

"Thanks Amy," Meredith sat the butter knife down on the worktop and walked around exchanging places with Amelia to take a seat at the breakfast bar, whilst Amelia moved to finish making sandwiches for Elizabeth and Lia.

"No need to thank me, the last thing you need is extra work, having to cater for Beth as well."

"Amy it is just a sandwich…"

"I know but the last thing you need is another kid to bother with today. I would have left her with Sam but he had paper work he needed to finish and would have had no hope in doing that with Beth around."

"Honestly it's fine, I am actually glad of the company and she is keeping Lia occupied. Have you noticed how quiet they are playing with Lia's dolls? I hate to think what questions Lia would be asking me if she wasn't pre occupied."

"Have you heard from Derek since last night?"

"Nope." Meredith bit her lower lip she was still angry with Derek but was also worried about what this meant for their future.

"I really am sorry Mer. I feel so bad and feel as if this is all my fault."

"Amy it's not your fault, I honestly don't blame you. It's just typical Derek acting before engaging his brain. He should have talked to me before he even spoke to your mom."

"I know honey and I get why you are so mad with him."

"Have you spoken to him?" Meredith asked as she began to play with the strap on her watch.

"No, I have tried to call him numerous times but he is ignoring my calls in a typical Derek fashion. He still throws tantrums like a two year old."

"God, don't I know that. Why do they never grow up?"

"I don't know, if I knew the answer to that I guess I would be a multi millionaire… You need to talk to him."

"I know, but it is a bit difficult to do that when he is not here." Meredith stated and as soon as she finished talking as if on cue they heard a key in the door and the front door opened. Meredith stood up and headed to the hallway, Amelia following behind her. As they reached the hallway they spotted the back of Derek as he entered the living room.

…..

"I am going to be asking Santa to bring me the Barbie cloud castle for Christmas."

"It is really cool, I got it for my birthday. You should come around to my house one day and play with it."

"That would be so cool, we have got to ask my mom but I am sure she will say it is ok."

"So are you my cousin then?" Beth asked Lia.

"Hmmm…" Lia didn't get to answer as Derek walked into the room. "Derek." Lia yelled as she got up from the floor and ran and jumped at him. "I missed you lots this morning." Lia said as Derek picked her up and hugged her, her legs wrapped around his waist.

"Hey Princess I missed you too." Derek kissed the top of Lia's head and continued to hug her as he turned to his niece. "Hiya Beth." He swallowed his annoyance at seeing Elizabeth, not because he didn't want to see his niece, it was more to do with the fact that he knew it meant that his sister was there.

"Hey Uncle Derek." Beth replied as she too got up off of the floor.

"I was just asking Lia if she was my cousin?"

"Well I guess you could kind of say she…" Derek began but was interrupted as Meredith and Amelia walked into the front room.

"Derek…" Meredith breathed. She was still mad at him but couldn't help but feel relief flood through her at the fact that he had come to her. "You're here?" She questioned.

"Well of course I am here," He smiled briefly at Meredith before turning his attention back to Lia. "I seem to remember Lia and I had a date with 'The Little Mermaid'."

"Yayyy, I forgot about that." Lia exclaimed from Derek's arms.

"Oh…" It was the only response Meredith was capable of giving, she was in shock. She felt the anger, which she held towards him slightly dissipate as she took in the sight of Derek holding Lia. They had argued and were mad with each other but Derek had not allowed that to interfere with the promise that he had made to Lia. Meredith against her will fell even more in love with the man standing in front of her, if that was possible. No matter what was going on between them he had put Lia first, something which not even her own biological father had done in the past when they had argued.

"Oh please Aunty Amy can Beth stay and watch it with us too? Beth we gets to watch the ending again and again five times over."

"Lia sweetie, not today. I have an idea though I was planning on taking Beth to get some ice cream, how would you like to come with us?" Amelia looked to Meredith for approval, she had put her foot in it the night before, and the least she could do was give them some alone time to talk.

"Oh please, pretty pretty please Mommy can I go?" Lia pleaded before looking back to Derek. "You don't mind do you Derek? I will promise to watch Ariel with you later."

"No princess I don't mind, if Mommy say's it is ok?" He nervously looked at Meredith. Although he had fully intended to talk to Meredith he had planned on having to wait until Lia was in bed. He wouldn't ever admit it to Amelia but he was grateful to her for her offer to take Lia out, he knew she did it with the intention so that he and Meredith could talk.

"Hmmm, they have not had their supper yet though Amy." Meredith had nervously held Derek's gaze for a few seconds before she looked away. She knew that they had to talk but she was suddenly feeling very nervous and wanted more then anything to avoid the conversation for a little while longer.

"Its ok Mer. How does Pizza first and then ice cream after sound?" Amelia directed to the kids, she knew what Meredith was up to and wasn't about to allow her to avoid.

"Yayyyy!" Both girls excitedly explained.

"Quick, you gots to let me down Derek. I need to go get my jacket and shoes on."

"Oh you do, do you?" Derek chuckled.

"Yes of course silly, Mama wont allow me to go out without them."

"You are right there." Derek kissed the top of her head again as he lowered her to the ground. "Go on then I guess that's settled." He tousled her hair as she ran off.

"Come on Beth you needs to get your shoes and jacket too and you as well Aunty Amy." Lia shouted from the doorway.

"Well I guess that told me." Amelia said as she made her way out of the living room, following Elizabeth to the hallway. She turned back around to face Meredith and Derek before exiting the room. "You two need to talk," she said quietly. "I will be gone for a few hours, and Derek I really am sorry."

"Thank you Amy." Derek simply said making it clear he was thanking her for taking Lia out and not for the apology, he was still mad at her for dropping him in it.

"See you later Mama." Lia ran back into the living room and threw her arms around Meredith's stomach. "Bye Dora, bye Boots," Lia whispered as she quickly kissed Meredith's abdomen twice before she ran back towards Derek.

Meredith giggled at her, she was still insistent with the names for the twins. "You be a good girl for aunty Amy and remember your manners Lia."

"I know, say please and thank you and no burping at the table."

"That's it kiddo," Derek Chuckled as Lia had now reached him, Meredith simply shook her head at her daughter.

"Bye Derek, make sure you look after Mommy and Dora and boots too."

"They will be fine, you go and have fun." Derek walked towards the hallway with Lia and said goodbye to his niece. He opened the front door for them and said a curt goodbye to Amy before closing the door and walking back into the living room to Meredith, who had begun to busy herself by tidying away Lia's Barbie dolls.

"Mer, can you leave that for now please?"

"Ok…" She simply said before straightening up and turning around to face Derek.

"Thank you… do you want to sit down?" Derek asked.

"Sure," Meredith made her way to sit down on the three-seater couch and indicated for Derek to sit first. He sat at one end and she sat on the other leaving an empty seat in between them.

"How have the babies been today?" Derek begun, they were both nervous around each other and he did not like it, this was not how they were.

"Fine. I had bad morning sickness earlier but it's not so bad now." Meredith had been pretty sick in the morning but she thought it was caused more by the fact that she and Derek had argued and had spent the night apart. Her stomach had been churning all day but surprisingly it was feeling more settled since Derek had come into the house.

"You look tired…" Derek hated the fact that Meredith had been so sick and that he had not been there. She had been feeling pretty good recently and he couldn't help but think that their argument was behind how she was feeling.

"You don't say Derek, no sleep will do that. Look Derek did you just come to make small talk? If so I don't want to hear it."

"Mer please, I don't want things to be this way between us. I think last night things got heated and we both said things that we regret."

"I don't want things to be this way either Derek, but you are wrong I meant everything I said last night. I do not want your parents involved in the babies' lives, I can't handle that Derek. They helped to destroy my life. I lost everything when I had our baby aborted. Your Mom was always more of a mother to me then my own one was, she bathed my scraped knees, taught me how to ride a bike, she had me over for dinner more days during the week then not, whilst my parents were busy working. Your sisters were like the sisters I never had, Amy was so much more then just a best friend to me. And then there was you, Derek you were my life and I loved you so much."

Tears started to gather in Meredith's eyes, Derek shifted closer to her on the sofa, he didn't say anything but just took her hand and allowed her to continue.

"Your Mom and my Dad sided with them Derek, they stood back and allowed us to be railroaded into making a decision that we should never have made. Being pregnant again with your baby, well babies this time, just brings it all back. The memories may be distant for you now Derek but to me they are still as raw as they were almost twenty years ago. When I lost the baby, I lost everything… the baby, you, my surrogate Mom, sisters, my best friend's and my father too. I was completely alone."

"Mer…" Derek tried to interrupt her as he squeezed her hand. He too now had tears gathered in his eyes, he had never really ever thought of just how much more she had actually lost. He had always just rounded it down to being just him and the baby because to him he thought their losses were the same but now he could see hers were so much more.

"No Derek not yet… Think about our baby, what should have been your Mom's grandchild. Our baby didn't get the chance to be born, the chance to be pampered by it's grandmother and I am sorry if you find this petty but why should your Mom get the chance to be a part of these babies lives when she wanted no part in our first baby's?" Meredith began to sob openly now, her emotions were all over the place and she wished she could just blame it on her hormones.

"Oh Mer," Derek moved even closer to Meredith and wrapped his arms around her. "I am so sorry baby," He kissed the top of her head. "I just never looked at it from your perspective. I should have discussed it with you first before talking to my mum. I was just so happy and thought we were moving on from the past and I just assumed you would allow my mum to be a part of our lives, a part of the babies lives and Lia's too."

Meredith pushed back slightly out of Derek's embrace. "I know she is your Mom Derek and maybe I don't understand the relationship you have with her, I never have had a real relationship with my Mother. Your Mother was the closest that I had to a Mom but I can not just forget and think that the past did not happen."

"Meredith I am not asking you to and neither would my Mother but we have to move forward…"

"This is pointless…" Meredith suddenly groaned interrupting Derek and went to pull away.

"No Mer, I am not going to let you pull away from me." Derek held onto Meredith's arms to prevent her from standing up and turned her so that she was facing him. "I listened to you and you have to let me finish. I love you so much and these past weeks that we have been back together have been the happiest moments of my life. I am even happier then when we were together the first time around, I appreciate it so much more because I know all too well how much it hurts to lose you. I don't want to lose you or what we are building and I choose you, I choose us. If you don't want us to have anything to do with my Mom, then she won't be in our lives."

"Oh Derek," the tears had gathered heavily back in Meredith's eyes as she listened to Derek's speech and their eyes locked. "I feel like a controlling bitch now. I know how important family is to you and how much cutting her out of your life is going to hurt you, I don't want that."

"Mer, what are you saying?" Derek let go of the hold he had on one of her arms to reach his hand to her face, he used his thumb to brush away a tear that had fallen onto her cheek.

"I don't know," Meredith began to cry again. "I am just so scared, we are happy and I am pregnant again. I don't want anything to happen, it all went wrong before Derek and I lost everything… I can't lose you again Derek, I can't lose our babies."

"Meredith," Derek embraced her once again, repeatedly kissing the top of her head as he rubbed circles on her back in an attempt to soothe her. "I promise you that you will not lose me again and you are not going to lose our babies. We are not scared teenagers this time around Mer, we are in control of our own lives. No one is going to be able to threaten to throw me in jail and no one will force us to give up our babies or take them away from us."

"Logic- logically I know that Derek but I just can not help the way I feel." Meredith took in a deep breath before continuing as she pulled herself together. "I love you Derek and I really don't want to be issuing ultimatums to you, it isn't fair to you and I don't want you to end up resenting me."

"Baby, I would never resent you." Derek pulled back and cupped Meredith's face, brushing away her tears with his thumbs. He placed a brief kiss to her lips. "How about this? We take things one-step at a time and maybe meet with my Mom and talk to her when you are ready to do so. And after that if you still do not want her to have anything to do with our lives I will respect that, can you do that for me?"

Meredith simply nodded and Derek pulled her into a deep kiss which instantly calmed Meredith down. "But not this Sunday…" Meredith breathed out when the kiss broke.

"No, not this Sunday." Derek agreed. "God I missed you last night, I didn't sleep either and I have been in such a bad mood at work today." Derek said as he settled back against the couch and pulled Meredith back against him, her body curled into his side and her head rested on her hand that was flat out against his chest.

"We missed you too," Meredith raised her head to look Derek in the eye and shifted on the couch so that she was now on her knees on the seat next to him. "And I think I fell even more in love with you earlier." She leaned forward and gave him a deep kiss.

Derek gave her a puzzled look when she pulled back. "And here was me thinking that you were angry with me."

"Oh I was but that anger practically disappeared when you showed up earlier for Lia, thank you." Meredith leant forward and kissed Derek again chastely on the lips.

There was no need for Meredith to explain any further; Derek knew exactly what she was thanking him for. "You don't have to thank me," Derek said as she pulled back from him slightly. "I love that little girl like she was my own and just because you and I argued there was no way that I was going to break a promise to her."

"I know and that is why I fell even more in love with you and after that I was not able to stay mad with you even if I tried." Meredith kissed Derek again, this time her hands wandered into his hair and she tugged at his curls.

Meredith pulled back way too soon for Derek's liking but he continued to run his hands up and down her sides as he shifted in the chair. He had already developed a fully formed erection and it was beginning to feel very painful. "But you were mad at me?" He breathed.

"Oh yes, I was very angry with you." Meredith eyed the bulge in his lap.

"Well there is only one solution for that." Derek groaned as he shifted Meredith so that she was now fully straddling his lap, her skirt rode up and Derek was ever so grateful that she was wearing one.

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" Meredith questioned with raised eyebrows as she begun to run her hands through his hair.

"Make up sex…" He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"Oh yes, make up sex." Meredith agreed, giggling as her hands moved down to Derek's belt and she promptly unbuckled it. "How long did Amy say she would be?" Meredith asked as she undid the button and zipper on Derek's jeans.

"A few hours," Derek panted out, "Plenty of time." He hissed as he lifted his bottom off of the couch and moved his hands to help Meredith push down his jeans and pants at the same time, freeing his raging erection.

"Plenty of time." Meredith agreed as she hitched her skirt further up her thighs, moving her panties to the side before immediately sinking her core down onto Derek's hard and throbbing manhood.

The minute he was inside of her Meredith began to frantically rock against him and he thrusted up hard into her. Their love making was a lot more harder then it had been recently but they needed this and were unable to slow it down even if they wanted to, they were both taken over with the sheer passion that they felt for one another. It didn't take long for either one of them to reach their peaks and in a matter of minutes they were climaxing against each other, reaching their orgasms at the same time.

"I s- so needed that…" Meredith panted out as she collapsed in a sweaty mess against Derek. Her top half was now naked Derek had long stripped her of her shirt and bra.

"Me too…" Derek breathed out as he continued to run his hands over Meredith's sweaty back. "That was almost worth the arguing." Derek chuckled as he shifted Meredith so that he could slip out of her but still continued holding her body against him.

"Almost, but I hate arguing with you." Meredith had now caught her breath and pulled back from Derek, only to lean back forward and capture his lips again.

"I hate arguing with you too." Derek reciprocated when their kiss broke. "And he hates arguing with you too…" Derek nodded towards his cock that had already sprung back to life and was after some more attention.

"Well how about we go and make up some more in the shower then? I reckon we have at least an hour…" Meredith giggled.

"I think that is a wonderful idea and besides we are much safer up there, the last thing we need is Amy walking in on us again…" Derek shifted Meredith, stood up and fully kicked off his trousers.

"I agree, I think she has barely recovered from the last time." Meredith giggled, "and not to mention, this time she has the girls with her."

"What are we waiting for then?" Derek asked as he made a grab for Meredith and lifted her up bridal style causing her to let out a yelp at the same time. "I love you!" Derek declared, looking to Meredith's eyes before he began to move.

"And I love you too, so, so much." Meredith shifted her head forward and Derek met her half way as they engaged in yet another searing kiss. "Now I thought you promised me shower sex?" Meredith pouted when they broke apart.

"Oh I will give you shower sex alright." Derek promised as he started to move towards the hallway with Meredith in his arms, the sounds of their combined laughter filled the entire house.

**As always I would love to hear your comments and thoughts...**

**Jen xx**


	45. Chapter 45

**I was so relieved to see that so many of you are still interested in reading my story despite the length of time it took for me to update. Thank you so much to those of you who commented and messaged me, I can not stress how much I value your comments, they really do keep me motivated. I wanted to say a big thank you an welcome to the new readers who added** **second chances to their story/author alerts.**

**Instead of just sending out teasers I decided to post the entire update for you guys instead. I hope that you enjoy...**

Chapter 40

Derek couldn't help but laugh as he glanced over at Meredith, sometimes it was hard to work out who was the biggest kid between her and Lia, she was practically bouncing in her seat with excitement. They were on their way to the pound to get Lia a dog, something that they had yet to tell her. Meredith was practically bursting to tell Lia and he was actually surprised that she had managed to hold her tongue for this long. He took a glance in the rear mirror and smiled at Lia who was happily talking away in the backseat at her Barbie doll's, which she had bought with her. They had agreed not to tell Lia until they were at the pound as her excitement in the car driving over would have made driving conditions dangerous and they also thought it would be good idea to surprise her just as they arrived outside the building.

"Not long now," Derek chuckled.

"Oh I can't wait!" Meredith exclaimed.

"Really?" Derek asked, "I don't think anyone would be able to tell, aren't you going to ask if we are nearly there yet? He said as he chuckled.

"Oh shut up you!" Meredith admonished as she mock pouted.

"Mama that's not very nice," Lia suddenly piped up from the back seat.

"You tell her Lia." Derek smirked briefly at Meredith before he diverted his eyes back to the road, he could feel Meredith's glare as he did so.

"You told me that I must not use them words as they are not very polite. You need to apologize to Derek Mommy."

Meredith shot another glare at Derek as she saw the shit eating grin make its way over his face, she would take great pleasure in wiping that grin off of his face later. She smiled sweetly at Derek before turning slightly to look at Lia, silently telling him that she would get him back and took pleasure in watching the smug look on his face disappear. "Sorry princess you are right mommy was naughty for using those words, they are not very polite." Meredith then turned back around and faced the front of the car as she mumbled an apology to Derek.

"I am sorry, what was that?" Derek asked with the smug look back on his face. "I didn't quite hear you…"

"He is right Mommy, I didn't hear you either." Lia joined in, causing Derek's grin to get even wider.

"I am sorry Derek." Meredith said as she gritted her teeth.

"And what are you sorry for?" Derek asked but quickly added, "never mind…" When he saw her smirk, he knew just what his punishment would be if he continued and after last night he was definitely hoping for a repeat performance when they got Lia into bed. "Apology accepted."

"I bet you feel better now don't you Mama?"

"Yes Lia I do feel better…" Meredith smiled at Lia but that smile soon turned into a glare as she turned back to face the front and caught the smirk on Derek's face, his smirk soon disappeared again and luckily for him Lia spoke up once more.

"So where are we going? Are you taking me for ice cream?"

"Nope we are taking you somewhere better then that." Meredith told her as she grinned at Derek, the excitement of where they were taking Lia came back in full swing."

"Oh so it is a surprise? Oh goody I love surprises…"

"You do?" Derek questioned. "You don't take after your Mom there…" He continued smirking at Meredith.

"Oh Shu…" Meredith begun.

"Remember that's not a nice word." Derek chuckled.

"No it's not however if my memory serves me right though you are a fan of naughty words, but if you prefer I can be sure to only stick to nice ones from now on?" Meredith returned Derek's smirk and giggled when she saw him visibly gulp. "I thought not."

"Are we nearly there yet?" Lia chimed from the back seat.

"Thank God we only just told her we were going to surprise her now huh?" Derek said to Meredith as he laughed before answering Lia. "We are just pulling into the car park now princess."

"Where are we?"

"Do you want to do the honors?" Derek said to Meredith as he pulled into a parking space, he knew she couldn't wait to tell Lia.

Meredith smiled at Derek and turned back to Lia, taking off her seat belt as Derek turned off the cars engine. "Princess take your seat belt off and come into the front."

Lia did just that and made her way through the gap between Meredith and Derek's front car seats. "Here princess let me help you." Derek turned and put his hands under her arms, lifting her through the gap. Once through he deposited her onto his lap.

"What is the one thing you have always wanted?" Meredith asked her.

"Mmmm, to go to Disney land! Is that where we are? Are we at the airport?" Lia bounced up and down her eyes wide and bubbling with excitement.

"No," Meredith giggled, at least she now knew where they could take her for her birthday, she only hoped the twins didn't prevent her from flying." Other then going to Disney land, what did you want?"

"Mmmm a bike with no baby wheels?" Lia bounced on Derek's lap. Derek laughed.

"Nope we are not here to buy you a bike. Ok I will give you another clue, when we moved into our new house you asked for one and even negotiated with the Estate agent to be allowed to have one in the house."

Lia chewed her bottom lip for a minute; it was obvious that she was thinking really hard. "I know, I know. Is it a dog? Are we getting my puppy?" Lia excitedly exclaimed.

"We sure are…" Meredith confirmed and couldn't stop the tears from forming in her eyes at the sight of the sheer happiness on Lia's face.

"We are really, really getting my puppy? Like today, like right now?"

"Yes we are really getting your puppy, today, right now." Meredith told Lia as Derek laughed.

"Oh Mama, thank you." Lia leaned forward and threw her arms around Meredith's neck.

"Do I get a cuddle too?" Derek asked with a chuckle.

Lia came out of Meredith's embrace and turned around to cuddle Derek. "Thank you Derek, now come on we gots to hurry up my puppy is waiting for me!"

"Oh he is, is he?" Derek asked laughing. "Well we can't have that can we!" Derek and Meredith both shared a laugh as they got out of the car, whilst Lia continued to bounce excitedly about on the drivers seat before Derek lifted her out of the car.

* * *

><p>"I think we made the perfect choice," Derek said as he slipped his arms around Meredith's waist, they were watching Lia play on the living room floor with the new chocolate Labrador puppy which they had chosen at the pound.<p>

"We sure did, just look at how gentle he is with her." Meredith smiled as the puppy ran up to Lia but stopped just as he reached her and gently dropped the ball that they were playing with into Lia's awaiting hand. Lia giggled loudly as the puppy then licked her hand.

"He is a perfect addition to our family," Derek kissed Meredith on the top of her head as his hands moved over her growing abdomen. "He is also one who needs a name." Derek placed another kiss on Meredith's head as he took his hands off of her stomach and moved further into the living room. "Hey princess, have you had anymore ideas for a name for the puppy?" He asked Lia as he took a seat on the sofa. Meredith had followed in after him and took a seat next to him.

"He likes to be called puppy and he comes when I call him that."

"I know baby," Meredith giggled, "that's because it's all he knows at the minute. He is waiting for us to give him a name, we can't just call him puppy forever."

"But why not Mama?"

"Because what happens when he grows up and he is no longer a puppy?"

"That's true all the other grown up dogs will laugh at him, won't they puppy." Lia said as she ruffled the top of the puppy's head, earning another giggle from both Meredith and Derek.

"That certainly is true… So do you have any ideas on a name for him princess?" Meredith asked.

"Hmmm, well I would have liked to have called him boots but that's going to be the name for one of my twins so we can't call him that otherwise they will both get confused…" Lia answered with a frown on her face as wrinkles appeared on her forehead.

"I think boots will be a perfect name for the puppy, we will give the baby another name…" Derek quickly jumped in with a smirk on his face causing Meredith to quietly giggle.

"But if we did that Derek then the baby's name won't match Dora's and that would be silly. Dora and Boots go together." Lia explained with a serious expression on her face.

"Yes Derek, Dora and Boots go together," Meredith smirked. "Nice try…" She whispered to Derek.

"Well it was worth a shot," He chuckled back and they shared an intimate look as their eyes caught, Meredith's hormones had been through the roof the previous night. Their look was prevented from turning inappropriate by Lia's excitement.

"I know, I know!" Lia excitedly exclaimed has she bounced on her knees on the floor as the puppy ran in circles around her. "I have the perfect name and it will also match my twins. We will name him after the fox in Dora, his name will be Swiper, only he will be a good boy not like the fox…"

"Oh God, kill me now…" Derek put his hand over his face as he sunk back onto the sofa.

Meredith slapped his chest as she giggled and briefly turned to Lia.

"Oh Princess I think that name is perfect for him," she said and smirked as she turned back to Derek.

"I think so too," Lia giggled as the puppy licked her, "see… he likes his name too." Lia then stood and ran out of the living room with Swiper chasing behind.

"Oh baby, what's wrong, you don't like the name Swiper? I think it's kind of cute." Meredith giggled as she leaned into Derek and kissed his cheek.

"Well you would say that, you are not going to be the one walking him for the next 6 or so months. I can just see myself in the park shouting 'Swiper come here' and everyone staring."

"They won't be staring at you because you sound silly, they will be staring at you because you are hot." Meredith breathed on his neck, peppering kisses up and down the column of it as she groped his manhood through his trousers.

"Meredith," Derek groaned, his hand moving to still her actions.

"Lia is safely upstairs showing Swiper her bedroom, I think buying her a puppy was the best thing we did. It keeps her occupied so that you can see to my needs…"

"And did I not see to your needs last night? Several times in fact if my memory serves me right."

"That was the needs I had then, I have new ones now that…" Meredith didn't get to finish her sentence as Lia started to call out to them.

"Hold that thought for later," Derek said as he kissed Meredith's pouting lips. "I promise I will see to all your current needs and any new ones you may develop." He kissed her once more before getting off the sofa and pulling her up with him as they went to go and see to Lia and Swiper.

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><p><strong>So as always I will be anxiously waiting for your comments.<strong>

**Jen xx**


	46. Chapter 46

**Once again, apologies for the delay in updating, something always seems to happen and get in the way of my plans to update, first my health took a turn for the worse and the my lap top died on me. Both my health and laptop seem to be good again so fingers crossed there will not be such a long wait between updates now. I really really can not say how much your comments mean to me and appreciate that you are still reading despite the delay between updates.**

******There is a small time jump in the update below, hope you enjoy... Oh yeah and if you don't like porny Merder time I suggest you skip the middle lol rated Mature for mcnasty content :)...  
><strong>

Chapter 46 Who's jumping who?

Derek removed his scrub cap as he walked towards the nurse's station. He halted in his step to take in the view of Meredith leaning against the counter engaged in a phone conversation. He smiled to himself knowing full well just whom she was on the phone to without even having to ask. His eyes briefly traveled over her body taking in the swell of her voluptuous breasts that had already grown two cup sizes, his smile got wider as he took in the rounded bump which was now fully prominent on her stomach. He was so mesmerized by her that he had not noticed that she had in fact ended her telephone call and replaced the receiver or that she had in fact even turned her upper body more so that she was facing him, until he heard her voice.

"I do not think that, that is an appropriate look to give one of your colleagues Dr. Shepherd, especially on their first official day at work…" Meredith said with a smirk as she too gave Derek's body the same appreciative look.

"Well I guess you had better punish me then Dr. Grey," Derek flirted back as he walked towards her and placed a quick brief chaste kiss to her lips. "How is Lia doing?" He asked with a smile as he pulled back.

"She is doing great."

"And how about you?"

"I am doing better than this morning."

"I can see that. You have stopped crying at least." Derek gave a slight chuckle as he smiled.

"You Ass! It's not funny." Meredith pouted as she slapped Derek across his chest.

"Oh, I know. I'm sorry." Derek pulled Meredith to him and kissed the top of her head. "Just how many times have you called the school this morning to check on her?"

Meredith looked up at Derek with an innocent look on her face at the same time as she bit her bottom lip, "Um just five…"

"Well I guess we should have advised them to put on an extra member of staff in the office today just to answer our calls."

"Our calls?" Meredith questioned as she raised her eyebrows.

"I may have called three times too, before, in between and after surgery…"

"You called to check up on Lia?" Meredith asked with a tone of awe in her voice, as tears began to gather in her eyes. Damn pregnancy hormones, they were going to be the death of her.

"Of course I checked on our little princess, it's her first day at school."

"Have I told you how much I love you?" Meredith breathed out before she grabbed hold of the back of Derek's head and pulled him into a deep kiss, her tongue instantly forcing its way into his mouth."

"What happened to your rules on no personal display of affection in the hospital?" Derek gasped as they pulled apart for breath and he frantically tried to calm down the bulge that had painfully formed in his pants. He thanked his lucky stars that he was wearing scrubs.

"Shut up!" Meredith smirked as she practically growled and grabbed hold of Derek's scrub shirt in her fist as she pulled him towards the on call room which was situated opposite the nurse's station.

The second they entered the on call room Meredith had Derek pinned immediately up against the back of the door so fast and hard that it caused the door to slam. Her mouth instantly claimed his as her hands began to roam under his scrub shirt marveling the feel of his naked abs and chest. Derek's hands began to claim every inch of her body.

Meredith moaned into Derek's mouth as their tongues began to battle, each one of them trying to take control as they explored the crevices of each other's mouths that they only knew too well. Derek switched their positions so that Meredith was now the one whose back was pinned up against the back of the door. Her arms went tightly around Derek's neck, her fingers tangled wildly in his hair, her tongue was thrusting deeply into his mouth, still fighting with his for dominance. "Derek," Meredith groaned and breathlessly panted out, "The d- door?"

Derek took one of his hands away from the waistband on her maternity jeans that he was in the process of pushing down over her hips. He blindlessly searched the door behind her for the lock, as he felt her hands move down to his scrub pants. His mouth never once left hers as he thrust his tongue hard into it, meeting the equally hard thrusts of its mate. "I- its locked," He moaned into her mouth in satisfaction as he heard the lock click into place. His hand rejoined the other to remove Meredith's trousers. She was already much further along now in the game of undress. His scrubs were already pooled around his ankles and Meredith's hands were in the waistband of his pants eagerly pushing them down freeing his raging erection.

After Derek managed to get her trousers undone he pushed them along with her panties down her slender long legs and his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, his fingers searching out the hem of her jumper and he felt Meredith kick her jeans and panties off.

Their mouths parted for a few seconds as they both removed each other's upper garments at the same time. He freed her from her bra and then his hands moved to cup her now naked ass, he pulled her as tightly as possible as her bump and tender breasts would allow against him. Their mouths reconnected and his tongue began to thrust once again in her mouth moving equally as deeply into Meredith's mouth as hers was in his, they were both moaning in unison. God he loved her pregnancy hormones. His erection was standing to full attention between them, pressing against Meredith's naked skin but the tip also being caused to push against his own abdomen by the small swell of her tummy. It felt so hard that it was painful. "I need you!" Derek moaned deeply into her mouth as he continued to kiss her.

He moved his mouth to her neck. He could honestly say that in this moment the way that he needed her rivaled the way he had needed her when they had first reunited. He remembered thinking then that he had never needed her so badly, but that was nothing compared to the need which consumed him now.

Derek's mouth was sucking on her neck as he lifted her naked right leg just underneath her knee to his waist and then he began to slowly stroke up her thigh back towards her ass.

Meredith felt Derek lift her leg up, her core was on fire she needed him to fill her and she needed him fast. She began to gyrate her hips against him almost causing her center to come into direct contact with his stiff cock, which instantly caused an animalistic sound to erupt from him. A sound which radiated from her clavicle which his mouth was currently devouring, vibrating through her entire body going straight down to her toes. "I need your cock in me now!" Meredith demanded, which earned her a chuckle from Derek but he knew better then to argue with a pregnant woman, especially when said woman was Meredith and he needed her just as desperately. He willingly obliged, not making neither of them wait a second longer as he lifted her remaining leg off of the floor and she immediately assisted him by lifting it up to join her other leg which was already wrapped as tightly as possible around his waist. They were both determined to make the most of the current position that they were in whilst her growing abdomen allowed it.

Derek held her by her thighs and lifted her against the door before bringing her straight down and impaling her straight onto his cock, thrusting it deep inside of her and filling her to the hilt. "Shit Meredith!" he moaned as he felt his cock slide into her.

"Derek!" Meredith screamed as she felt him enter her, she had been more than ready for him but given his huge size, and the increased tightness in her vaginal walls due to the pregnancy hormones she had still felt pain, which was immediately mixed with pleasure.

"Ssh," Derek hummed out as his mouth covered hers in an attempt to stifle her moans along with his own.

Her hands had long ago returned to the back of his head and had become entangled in his hair as her fingers desperately clutched at it. Derek's hands had moved along her thighs and were grasping at her naked ass holding her up as he fucked her against the door to the on call room. He was not even worrying about the possible noise which could be heard from the outside. He slid his hands slowly from her butt to the top of her thighs, so that he could pry her legs even further apart allowing him deeper access to her core.

"Harder Derek, p- please!" Meredith begged into his mouth.

"Mer, I don't want to hurt you, or the babies." Derek moaned as he continued to thrust into her.

"Y- you won't, I n- need you, deep," she pleaded whilst sucking on his lower lip, "P- please fuck me harder! I want everyone to hear you make me scream."

Derek had long stopped becoming shocked at Meredith's bold statements during sex. He always enjoyed the way she always seemed to lose all of her inhibitions in the heat of the act and pregnancy only made her more wild. He was already planning their next pregnancy he thought to himself with a chuckle which Meredith didn't notice as she was too far engrossed in achieving her impending orgasm that was quickly approaching.

"Come on Der, harder please!" Meredith practically begged as she gyrated her hips faster against Derek's.

Derek didn't need much more encouragement and began to frantically thrust his cock inside of her, his mouth fully back on hers as his tongue thrust fast and deep inside her mouth imitating the actions of his cock. He started to frantically buck his hips into her ensuring that the tip of his cock hit deep within her, connecting them as deeply as possible.

"Mer," he moaned

"Derek!" Meredith panted into his mouth.

His mouth moved from hers again as his lips made their way across her jaw and down her neck, nipping and sucking at her flushed skin. Derek's hand left her thigh, his fingertips trailing up her body, pausing to savor the roundness of her ass, then continuing their ascent over her hips briefly pausing on the swell of her stomach, he then stopped as he reached her breast. He knew that he had to be gentle in his touch as her breasts were still so tender but his touch grew more frantic as her moans became louder edging him to continue in his ministrations. Meredith's heavy panting and moaning were driving him to despair causing him to slightly lose control. He captured her breast pushing it upwards enabling him to bring her heavily engorged nipple to his mouth and he began to suck on it. The thrusts of his cock inside her gained momentum when she began to frantically buck her hips harder against him.

Meredith felt Derek's other hand leave her thigh and begin to travel upwards over her body, the calloused tips of his fingers passing over her in gentle strokes and leaving a path of tingles along her skin. She tightened her legs further around his waist to assist him in holding her body up. Derek's hand landed on her other breast at the same time that she felt his mouth capture her nipple and frantically begin to suck on it, she felt herself begin to come undone and the second that she felt his teeth gently bite down on it, it was all it took to send her tumbling over the edge into oblivion. "G-God, I –m gonna… Shit, Derek!" she screamed as she came hard and fast. Her orgasm washed over her and her vaginal walls were clenching so tightly around Derek that she felt his movement instantly still.

Derek could feel her whole body shaking, her breathing coming in fast as her arms tightened around his neck and she fell against him. She looked so beautiful, he would never ever get tired of watching her as her orgasm hit and he loved that it was his body that bought her to that state. He began pecking small gentle kisses all over her face and as he felt her walls begin to relax around him, he began to move his cock inside of her, once again building up to a frantic speed as the need for his own release washed over him. As the speed of his pumps grew in pace he felt Meredith's walls start to clamp around him again and he increased the force behind his thrusts, causing her to persistently moan.

Meredith screamed out his name again and her vaginal muscles clenched around him for the second time in the space of a few minutes. Derek came hard and fast shooting deep inside of her as soon as he felt her walls gripping his cock again. "Meredith!" He screamed out not being able to hold back any longer. He gently fell against her and they held up each others weight as they both continued to pant heavily. Their bodies continued to shake with aftershocks as they came down from their highs clinging on to each other.

"Th- Thank you," Meredith panted out as she pecked little kisses over the column of his neck.

"For what?" Derek breathed as his legs stopped shaking and tightened his grip on Meredith as it was obvious that her legs were still like jelly.

"For checking on Lia and for distracting me." Meredith giggled.

"You don't have to thank me for checking on Lia. You know I love her." Derek briefly captured Meredith's lips in a brief kiss.

"I know…" Meredith smiled at Derek when their kiss broke, "but all the same, thank you."

"You're welcome and as for the distracting you part, it is me who owes you the thanks. I was just a willing participant, you jumped me…" Derek chuckled.

"Like you were complaining." Meredith said as she slapped his naked ass.

"Oh I was far from complaining…" Derek reassured her as he wiggled his eyebrows. "In fact how about you jump me again? However this time we use the bed." Derek huskily said as he began to carry Meredith over to the bed.

"I think this counts as you jumping me this time."

"Are you complaining?" Derek asked with a raised eyebrow as he pulled his head back slightly to look into Meredith's eyes.

"Like hell I am. Jump me already." She ordered and that was just what Derek did after he had gently laid her back onto the bed.

**As always you know I love to read your comments, and please let me know if you want a teaser from the next update.**

******Jen xx  
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	47. Chapter 47

**Once again thank you so much for reading and a massive thank you to those of you that took the time to comment. Your comments really do mean a lot to me and I value every one of them.**

**So in the update below there is another slight time jump.  
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Chapter 47 - Unexpected

The last few months had flown by, Meredith was thinking to herself as she took the shepherd's pie she had made out of the oven, her hands automatically came to rest on top of her huge bump after she placed the pie on the work top. It had also been a good few months, she thought, since she had last seen her feet, now being 22 weeks pregnant her stomach was gigantic but she didn't mind. After all, it meant her babies were thriving and in just a few days they would hopefully find out what they were having. Meredith knew that most women became self-conscious and felt frumpy when their tummy expands during pregnancy; but not her. She had Derek to thank for that as he still made her feel incredibly sexy and it was as if he couldn't get enough of her. They were managing to have some awesome sex and the way in which they had to get creative with their positions which was doing wonders for her sex drive. The good sex she thought was almost a reason to want to stay in a permanent pregnant state. She knew for sure that if Derek had his way he would be all for keeping her bound up and pregnant for the rest of their lives together. That could get a bit awkward though; what with the kids and visits from friends. Meredith actually giggled out loud at that thought as it sparked the memory of Derek's sister walking in on them at Derek's trailer, when they had first gotten back together; even to this day Amy still shudders just at even catching them only kissing. Thoughts of the trailer caused her to think of the house that they had finally broken ground on, it was coming along smoothly and they were hoping to have it finished by the time the twins were born.

Meredith glanced at her watch she was expecting Derek and Lia home at any minute, Derek was collecting Lia from school. Lia absolutely loved school and had settled in straight away which was a big relief for Meredith. Time seemed to be flying by; it only seemed like just yesterday that they had nervously dropped her off on her first day. She needn't have been so nervous though because like most things, Lia took to it like a duck takes to water. She had also become very popular and had made a lot of friends which was also another worry taken away from Meredith. Another concern that had been taken care of was of her and Derek getting the right balance between surgery and Lia and having time for each other. They had managed to settle into quite the routine. They had established a good work life balance and were often able to stick to their own set days to collect Lia. Derek's day always being a Monday afternoon, he always made sure to organize his schedule so that he was only working a half day on that day. Their usual Monday routine was slightly thrown though for today as Meredith had to leave shortly after dinner to conduct an emergency surgery on a 13 year old who had traveled to New York to receive pioneering surgery which was only possible due to her success in the medical trial she had been responsible for when she was living in Seattle. She really hoped that tonight's surgery would also be another success under her belt.

"Mer, we are home." Derek yelled out, followed by the sound of the front door closing as he entered the house with Lia.

"I am in the kitchen," Meredith called out, the recent thoughts of the surgery she had to perform later that evening were now a distant thought as Lia came barreling into her, her small arms trying and failing at the same time to stretch around Meredith's waist.

"Hi Mama, how have my babies been today? Dora, Boots have you been behaving and not kicking Mommy too much?" Lia asked as she placed a kiss on either side of Meredith's stomach.

Meredith and Derek shared a look and Meredith couldn't help but giggle at the look of dismay he got on his face every time Lia referred to the babies as Dora and Boots. Meredith personally thought it was because he truly feared that, that was what they would end up calling them as in the recent months he found himself being unable to deny Lia anything. She had him totally wrapped around her little finger. He was well and truly whipped where she was concerned and Meredith knew it would just get worse when the babies were born.

"They have not been too bad princess," Meredith answered Lia on behalf of the babies as her hand came down to rest on top of Lia's head and she ran it over the top of her head and her fingers through her hair that had grown back following the surgery.

"How was your day at school today?"

"It was ok," Lia started to answer as she let go of Meredith and moved towards the fridge. "I broke up with Jacob though."

"Ok I think that this is where I leave you two ladies to talk," Derek groaned. He always seemed to try to make a quick exit when Lia recently had started talking about having boyfriend's in school. Meredith thought it was cute.

"That's ok Derek I don't mind if you listen I don't need Mama to bring out the ice cream and quilt. I am not upset like Aunty Cristina gets. I already have a new boyfriend…"

"God shoot me now," Derek groaned as Meredith and Lia burst into a fit of giggles as Lia continued to rummage through the fridge.

"Awww poor Derek, just a taste of things to come…" Meredith discreetly squeezed his butt as she moved over to him on her way to Lia at the fridge.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Derek placed a kiss on her cheek, before letting her move to where Lia was.

"Princess what are you looking for in there?"

"Brain food Mama. We have a spelling test tomorrow so I need lots of chocolate."

"I don't think so young lady, firstly dinner is ready and secondly, since when has brain food been chocolate?"

"Aunty Christina is always…"

"Right Lia, you know we don't listen to Aunty Christina when it comes to her food habits."

"But Mommy, please, just one chocolate bar? I have a craving. You know what that feels like, tell her Derek."

Lia turned her attention to Derek and gave him her best puppy dog eyes; he found it so hard to keep a straight face. Lia would win an award, hands down, for having mastered the art of manipulation through cuteness. "Oh no. I am staying out of this one I am afraid princess. I know better than to cross your Mother," Derek smirked. "How about a compromise though? If you are a good girl and eat all your dinner first, after your Mom has gone to work and we have done your homework, I will take you for ice cream?"

"Chocolate ice cream?" Lia excitedly jumped up and down closing the fridge door. The chocolate in there was long forgotten.

"Yes chocolate ice cream," Derek replied. "Now go and wash up for dinner."

"Ok Derek," Lia flashed her puppy dog eyes at him once more shouting out that he was the bestest as she rushed out of the kitchen to go to wash her hands."

"You are such a sucker, there is going to be absolutely no hope for you once the twins are born." Meredith smirked at him as she shook her head.

"Maybe not," Derek shrugged his shoulders as he made his way over to where Meredith was standing. "But there is hope for you; Lia will be a few minutes…"

"Oh is there now, and what hope is that?" Meredith raised an eyebrow in question at him.

"Shut up and you will find out." Derek said just before his mouth covered hers and his lips and tongue automatically began to move in synch with hers. His tongue thrusted deeply, almost immediately, in Meredith's mouth and Derek couldn't help the satisfaction that spread throughout his body as Meredith moaned loudly into the kiss. Her hands had just reached the buckle on his belt when Derek pulled away.

"What- why did you stop?" Meredith panted and whined at the same time.

"Lia won't be gone that long…"

"You are mean, you got me all worked up on purpose." Meredith pouted.

"No, I was just proving to you that there was hope for you."

"For that stunt, I think I should not feed you and just make you have chocolate ice cream for dinner…"

"Mama you can't do that," Lia admonished as she returned to the kitchen. "Derek needs lots of brain food; otherwise he won't be able to fix boo boos on brains anymore."

"That's right Lia, you tell her…"

"Derek, have you heard the expression, that you should quit digging because if you are not careful that hole will become too big for you to get out of? I promise you there will be no hope for you later if you carry on." Meredith smirked.

"I am sorry," Derek wiggled his eyebrows at Meredith, repeating Lia's earlier puppy eyes look from earlier. He knew better then to push her any further, she would hold good on her promise of no sex and he couldn't have that. He had developed a serious addiction to pregnancy sex with Meredith, she had been so horny and he was loving every minute of it.

"Tell Derek he is forgiven Mama…" Lia admonished. Meredith couldn't help but giggle, she sometimes wondered just who the parent was sometimes.

"You are forgiven Derek," Meredith told Derek with a raised eyebrow, silently warning him to think through any come back he might have wisely before he opened his mouth.

"Thank you," he simply said with a smirk. "Right let's get on and eat that delicious shepherd's pie. It smells wonderful."

"Mmmmm yummy, I love shepherd's pie. I will help with setting the table." Lia excitedly said as she rushed to the table.

"Someone's excited," Derek exclaimed as he walked over to grab the shepherd's pie to carry it through to the dining room for Meredith.

"Well the promise of ice cream will do it every time." Meredith kissed Derek on his cheek as they left the kitchen, "thank you."

"You're welcome." Derek whispered as their eyes locked.

* * *

><p>Dinner had been great, Meredith smiled to herself reminiscing over the stories Lia had told them of her day at school. She was currently driving, making the short journey to the hospital. Although she was on her way to do something which she knew she loved and it would hopefully save someone's life, giving them a chance of adulthood in the process, she knew where she would rather be and that was out eating ice cream with Derek and Lia. Her life was now so different and she honestly knew now that she had never been happier, not even when her and Derek had been together the first time round. Her cell phone beeped as she approached a set of red traffic lights signalling that a text had come through. The lights changed to amber though just as she stopped so she decided not to read the text just yet and drove on across the junction as the lights turned green, she would soon be at the hospital in a matter of minutes and would be able to read it then. Only things didn't quite go as planned, at the moment Meredith crossed the junction a drunk driver had jumped a red light, speeding through it, crashing into her car head on and causing it to flip 3 times. The last thing Meredith remembered was the sound of screeching tires, metal being crunched and breaking glass, Lia and Derek's faces flashed through her mind and she instinctively put her arms around her abdomen trying to protect her unborn babies before her world went black.<p>

**Oh yes I did go there... And now I am flying off to the other side of the world to hide lol**

**All I will say is that there is a method to my madness and ask you to trust me again...  
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**Eager to read your thoughts so please take a minute of your time and hit the review button.  
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**Thanks**

**Jen xx  
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	48. Chapter 48

**As promised I have not left long between updates, thank you to everyone who commented following last update I know the last chapter was not what you were expecting but I absolutely loved reading your comments. Without further ado here is the next installment...**

Chapter 48 - What happened?

"Where is she? What happened!" Derek demanded as he ran into the emergency room, carrying a sleeping Lia in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder as she slept. She had fallen asleep in the car on their way back from getting ice cream. Derek was just about to pull into their driveway when he received a call from Cristina telling him to come straight to the hospital. All he knew was that Meredith had been in an accident, but did not know how serious it was. He was met immediately by a sea of colleagues, his eyes immediately searching out Cristina's and Richards and as soon as they did he felt his stomach flip and his heart begin to practically beat out of his chest as the panic started to set in. It was not good news he was about to receive. It was not just a minor accident.

"Derek, here, let me take Lia?" Cristina offered as she stepped forward and reached out to take Lia from Derek's arms.

"She is fine. Just tell me where Meredith is!"

"Derek, let me take Lia to the day care. This is not the place for her to be right now."

"You are kidding right? You know she is the first person Meredith will want to see…"

"Derek let Cristina take her," Richard begun interrupting as he gently put his arm on Derek's. "I am sorry Derek but right now Meredith is not going to be asking to see anyone. It's not good…" Richard trailed off he didn't need to say anything else.

"Oh…" Derek simply said as he allowed Cristina to take Lia, who stirred as she was placed in Cristina's arms.

"Aunty Cristina, what you doing here? Are we at the hospital?"

"We are princess." Cristina kissed the top of Lia's head. She felt her eyes begin to form tears which she frantically tried to hold back. She was not the slightest bit religious but right then she was praying. She was praying to God and to anyone who would listen that the little girl in her arms was not about to lose her mother too. In her short life she had already lost so much.

"What are we doing here Derek? Do you gots to help Mommy with her surgery? Is it a very difficult boo boo she has to fix?" Lia asked from Cristina's arms as her eyes questionably sought out Derek's.

Derek took a step closer to her and Cristina, taking in a deep breath as he fought to compose himself so that Lia hopefully would not pick up on the fact that something was wrong. "Yes Princess. Mommy needs help." Derek kissed the top of her head, "Aunty Cristina is going to take you to the day care. Sorry our evening got cut short."

"That's ok Derek. I love the day care. I don't gets to go there much anymore now I go to a big kids school. Cheer up everyone Mommy is a kick ass surgeon and with you helping her Derek you will both rock the surgery."

"Lia," Derek admonished as he smiled despite the fact he was frantically trying to hold back tears. There was never any fooling Lia. "What did your Mom say about using the 'A' word?"

"Oops…" Lia smirked.

"Well I guess I should take responsibility for that, hey kiddo?" Cristina ruffled Lia's hair. "After all it's me you heard it from. Come on; let's get you to day care. I will be back straight away." Cristina told everyone as she left with Lia, heading towards the elevator.

"See ya soon Derek. Give Mama a kiss for me," Lia shouted out as Cristina carried her away.

"I will princess, I promise." Derek called back as a single tear, which he quickly wiped away escaped his eye. Derek watched Cristina board the elevator with Lia, who was happily chewing her ears off before turning back to Richard and the other doctors, taking in the presence of the two police officers for the first time. "What the hell happened?" He directed to the police officers.

"I take it you are Dr. Shepherd?" One of the Police officers asked as they took a step towards him.

"Yes I am Derek Shepherd, Meredith's partner and the father of her twins… God the babies," Derek turned to Dr. Robbins, taking his attention away from the police officer who was talking to him, "Arizona, are they alright?"

"Derek," Arizona said gently. "I detected both heartbeats and at the moment they are both strong, I need to do a more extensive sonogram as soon as Meredith is stabilized. Meredith is our priority right now."

Derek simply nodded, feeling a slight relief that their heartbeats had been detected but Arizona was right, without Meredith it was all pointless. "I need to see her, please just tell me what's going on?" Derek begged, his attention going from one person to the next, as if he was trying to search out the answers from their faces.

The police officer that had stepped forward began to speak. "I am detective Becket, Dr. Shepherd; I am responsible for the investigation into Dr. Grey's collision. It appears that she was hit in the driver's side of her car earlier this evening as she crossed a junction. The impact I am afraid caused her car to flip 3 times. The light was green and the driver in the other vehicle was speeding and jumped a red light. I am afraid to report that preliminary tests also confirm that the driver was also almost 5 times over the legal alcohol limit."

"What? Where the hell are they? Are they being treated in this hospital?" Derek demanded.

"No Derek," Richard spoke up. "He was taken to Queen Anne's."

Derek simply nodded in acknowledgement. "How bad is it Chief? What are her injuries?"

"She is in a critical but stable condition at the moment. We have her on heart bypass. We think that there is damage to her aorta; Dr. Hahn is with her now assessing the damage. We flew her over by helicopter and she got here ten minutes ago. She has a damaged spleen and a liver laceration which I am going to repair, she also has a broken collarbone and clavicle and several broken ribs…"

"She is going to be ok though, right?" Derek questioned as he fell into a nearby chair. His chest had felt so tight as he listened to Richard list her injuries. He would do anything to be able to switch places with her right now so that her and their babies would not be in any danger.

"The main problem will be controlling the bleeding…"

"Which time is of the essence so why aren't you already in there with her repairing the damage?"

"Derek you know that there are protocols we have to follow. We need to gain consent first from her medical proxy and why she is stable we had to wait…"

"Well I am here now," Derek looked up at Richard. "Give me the forms and I will sign them…"

"Derek I can't," Richard interrupted him. "I can't accept your signature as consent. You and Meredith are not married."

"But her husband's dead… Who is her Medical proxy?" Derek asked in a panicked tone.

They had been so ingrained in their conversation that they had not bothered to pay attention to the approaching footsteps and as if on cue came a voice answering his question, "That would be me." The voice belonging to the one person whom he and Meredith would have gone their whole lives happily without ever seeing again.

"Ellis…" Derek said in a mixed tone of both anger and dread, slumping back further in his chair as it suddenly felt as if his whole world was about to end. Just when he thought that things could not possibly get any worse; in a matter of mere seconds they had.

**Now I am going back into hiding lol... Please leave me a comment on your thoughts on this, looking forward to reading them.**

**Jen xx  
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	49. Chapter 49

**A HUGE thank you to all of you that leave me reviews, favorite and add my story to your alerts, your thoughts and encouragement mean a lot, even if you are disliking the current storyline lol. **

**So here is the latest installment, I hope that you enjoy...  
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Chapter 49 Decision time

"Derek Maloney," Ellis hissed. "I should have guessed, whenever you are around trouble seems to follow Meredith…"

"Ellis, thank you for getting here so quickly," Richard stepped forward before Derek retaliated. The last thing that Meredith needed was for them to go head to head with one another. "You are looking well Ellis and it's good to see you again. I just wish it was under better circumstances."

"Well it's lucky that I was already here attending a conference or it would have taken longer."

"Where is Thatcher, Ellis? Is he not with you?" Richard asked.

"No, he is at home in Boston. I didn't see the point in calling him until I saw for myself what was going on…"

"Ellis," Richard groaned. "I told you on the phone how serious it was. Thatcher should be here…"

"And I know just how over dramatic you can be Richard. Answer me this as well, just how long has my daughter been here working for you?"

"She has been working for me for about four months."

"I thought we were friends Richard? I can recall at least 4 times that we have been in touch over the last few months and you knew I was flying out here for the conference." As Ellis said that, Derek's eyes shot to Richard. He couldn't believe that he knew Ellis was going to be so close to them and he failed to mention it.

"She asked me not to say anything to you Ellis and as her employer I had to respect her wishes…"

"More like you coddled her, just as you always did. And you..." Ellis gestured in Derek's direction. "Just what role are you playing in my daughter's life?"

"We are living together." Derek said confidently. He was no longer the scared little boy anymore where Ellis was concerned.

"It worked out well for you didn't it, Meredith's husband dying? You are lucky though. It happened here and that I didn't hear of it sooner. If it happened in Seattle I would have known about it and made sure you didn't get your claws hooked into her again. Her previous employer thought to keep me updated on her life."

"Wow. I am surprised that you were even interested in what was going on in her life," Derek sarcastically responded.

"How dare you! Of course I was interested. Meredith is my daughter and I have only ever wanted what was best for her even if she could not see that herself. I sacrificed my own relationship with her to ensure that she had the best start in life, which was no thanks to you. By the looks of things though she learned nothing, if you two really are back together."

Derek noticed that some of his colleagues were looking on with interest, only a handful of people knew of his history with Meredith. "Yeah well you keep telling yourself that we know different, you split us up for your own selfish needs…"

"My selfish needs?" Ellis quipped as she barked out a short laugh. "I was not the adult who had sex with a child and got her pregnant. I should have gone ahead and had you prosecuted for statutory rape when I had the chance." There were suddenly collective gasps around the room and all eyes were on Derek.

"Ellis," Richard butted in sharply. "This is not the time or place to be dredging up the past…"

"No Richard, it's ok," Derek interrupted. He was determined not to allow Ellis to wield any power over him or destroy the reputation he had at the hospital, the one he had worked so hard on building. "If you must all know," he spoke addressing everyone. "Meredith and I have been in love and have known each other forever. We used to live across the street from one another and on her 13th birthday when I was 15 years old we officially started dating. When Meredith was 16, not long before her 17th birthday, when I was 18, she fell pregnant. Dr. Grey here forced her to have an abortion and have nothing further to do with me or else she was going to have me prosecuted for statutory rape…" Derek saw sympathy in the eyes of his colleagues.

"I did what any half decent parent would do acting in their child's best interest."

"That is absolute rubbish and you know it, you were embarrassed and didn't want the world to find out that the great Ellis Grey's daughter was going to be a teenage Mom so you controlled the situation in the only way you know how by trying to destroy our lives and I can say the word trying now because our lives were very far from being destroyed. A love like the one Meredith and I share cannot be denied…"

"Love? You two…" Ellis didn't get to continue as she was interrupted by Dr. Hahn approaching them.

"Sorry to interrupt your discussion here on the philosophy of love but if I don't operate soon then it is going to be too late to test either theory." Erica breathed. "Ellis," she greeted her with a friendly hug and kiss to the cheek. "I was so shocked to find that it was your daughter I was brought here for a consult on, naturally I came straight away and you know I will do my best."

"How is she?" Derek interrupted their reunion.

"Thank you Erica, I know you will!" Ellis cut in before Dr. Hahn had the chance to answer, shooting Derek an icy look in the process.

"What is her status?" She asked Erica herself.

"Do you want to discuss this here Ellis or go somewhere more private?"

Derek's eyes suddenly took on a frightened look as they met Ellis; he knew as Meredith's medical proxy she had the power to totally exclude him from seeing or finding out any information on Meredith's condition if she wanted to. He felt himself begin to tear up as he feared Ellis was going to do just that but the words that came out of Ellis' mouth surprised him.

"No thank you Erica, that won't be necessary. I can see that everyone here cares for my daughter and besides it will just waste time."

"Thank you…" Derek breathed in total relief.

Ellis silently acknowledged his appreciation and Erica continued to give her assessment of Meredith's condition. "She has a small tear in her aorta which I need to go in and repair…"

"That should be straight forward to fix right, if it's only small?" Ellis questioned.

"It should be, but there is an added complication in Meredith's situation…"

"What situation?" A puzzled expression grew on Ellis's face. She was suddenly aware that she did not hold all the facts.

"Meredith is pregnant with twins Ellis and as you know even at the best of times, just a single pregnancy puts a great strain on the heart."

"It just gets better," Ellis turned to Derek. "I take it you are responsible?" She questioned but did not wait for him to answer as she turned back to Dr. Hahn. "Erica, what are you saying?"

"I am saying that Meredith will stand a much better chance if we were to deliver the babies now by C-section."

"W- what?" Derek stuttered, "But it's too early…"

"What gestation is the pregnancy?" Ellis interrupted asking Derek, wanting to get all the facts.

"Meredith is only 22 weeks." Fear gripped Derek as the all too raw memories and feelings of the last time Ellis Grey held control over their unborn child's future rushed through his mind.

"Do we know the lung maturity? Ellis asked to the room and Arizona stepped forward.

"I- I am Dr. Robins mam, I am Meredith's OBGYN. If we were to deliver now I am afraid that the babies would not stand a chance, their lungs have barely developed yet and we would not have time to give the oxytocin the chance to work and help to mature their lungs."

"I agree with Arizona," Derek piped up, his heart was pounding. If he allowed them to deliver the babies Meredith would never forgive him. "We can't deliver them yet…"

"Derek but that is my call to make, I am the medical proxy not you, you didn't even do the right thing and put a ring on my daughter's finger…"

"Ellis…" Richard interrupted. "Please, we all want what is best for Meredith but I know that if she loses the twins she is not going to want to live after. This is not about your on-going feud with Derek. I know you don't like him but regardless Meredith loves him, she always has done. It was not just a childish crush. Ellis I have never seen her so happy since her and Derek have gotten back together, these past few months it is like we have the old Meredith back. The care free happy spirit she was before you moved her to Boston."

Ellis silently acknowledged what Richard said but did not respond to it, she turned to Dr Hahn. "Erica, what are her chances if you leave the babies in?"

"She has a much higher chance of bleeding out and going into cardiac arrest, we may cause damage to the babies as well if we have to shock her. There is also the chance of the babies getting distressed as well, this will add to the stress on her heart. I have already picked up some slight foetal distress as it is on one of the twins."

"What did you pick up Dr. Hahn?" Arizona asked the question she could tell Derek wanted to ask. His face went into his hands as he waited for her answer.

"Twin A was tachycardic for around 15 minutes, heart rate baseline of 230. It did settle back to 140."

"That's the smaller twin," Arizona shared a look with Derek who had glanced back up. "I think I may be able to help, I have been carrying out a recent trial, which has been successful in sedating the foetus in utero without having any long term consequences. If I were to sedate both twins during Meredith's surgery then it would reduce the chances of them going into foetal distress and putting additional pressure her heart."

"If we were to do what she says and not deliver just yet is there any chance of you saving Meredith?"

"It would take away some of the risk if she can effectively keep them sedated but her chances would still be better if we were to deliver beforehand."

Ellis looked at Derek before answering, she really did hate the fact that he was involved again in Meredith's life but her daughter was now an adult and perfectly capable of making her own decisions. If what Richard was saying was right she didn't want to stand in her daughter's way of happiness again she had already been cut out of her life for 20 years. "Use Dr. Robbins and attempt the surgery without delivering first Erica, if it becomes apparent that you will not be able to save her life without delivering the babies then you go ahead and deliver. I want you to try first though to attempt the surgery without delivering. Dr. Robbins you had better do this right."

"I will Dr. Grey."

"Thank you Ellis…" Derek whispered as a tear fell from his eyes.

Ellis looked away from Derek without even acknowledging his gratitude; she was not doing it for him. "Let's get moving everyone. Richard where are the consent forms?"

**Now that wasn't so bad... was it?  
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**So as always anxious for your opinions...**

**Jen xx  
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	50. Chapter 50

**Once again I am so sorry for delay in updating, time is just flying soooo fast...**

**Just a reminder of where we are in the story... Meredith was in a car accident and was left in a critical condition. As Derek and Meredith are not married Ellis had to be called as she is now Meredith's medical proxy following the death of her husband, something which Meredith had obviously overlooked. Ellis was given the option to have Meredith's babies delivered or risk the required surgery with them still inside of her. I think Ellis surprised everyone by instructing for the surgery to be performed without the babies being delivered.  
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**Hope you enjoy the update...  
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Chapter 50 - Holding on

"Ok, we are all set to go on my end, " Erica Hahn announced as she entered the OR fully scrubbed. She frowned though as she glanced at Meredith's monitors, she really did not like what she was seeing. The surgery ahead of her was going to be tough and that was without the knowledge of whose daughter she had on her table, she said a quick prayer, there was no way she could become known as the surgeon who had the Ellis Greys daughter die on her table.

"Doctor Robins you need to get those babies sedated and fast, her blood pressure is rising which is going to cause the tear to grow. How much longer?"

"Twin A is sedated, I just need a few more minutes to get twin B under. "

"Well let's just hope we have a few minutes…"

"Dr. Hahn, with all due respect, you really are not helping here, I don't need the added pressure." Arizona bit back as she continued to work, locating twin B's umbilical cord.

"Are you saying you can't hack the pressure? If that's the case then you should not be in my OR. Push some more Diltiazem to assist in lowering that BP," Erica directed the last sentence to one of the residents.

"I am done," Arizona announced, ignoring Dr. Hahn's remark.

"And in less than one minute, it seems you work extremely well under pressure after all Dr. Robbins." Erica said as her eyes locked with Arizona's, if the situation wasn't so serious it would have passed as flirting. "Come on people let's get the show on the road. You, what's your name?" Erica demanded as she nodded to a resident.

"I am Dr. Avery," Jackson answered excitedly, thinking he was going to have a shot at doing a procedure during the surgery.

"Right Dr. Avery it is going to be your task during this surgery to give Dr. Grey regular updates." Erica stated as she began to open Meredith's chest.

"Excuse me?"

"I am sure I spoke clearly enough. Do you have a problem?"

"No, no problem. Give Dr. Grey updates…"

"Well done! You earn a gold star, now move it. Go give the first update now. Let them know that Dr. Robins has successfully sedated the fetuses and they are showing no signs of distress. Meredith's blood pressure was giving some cause for alarm but it is starting to come down now with the fetuses being sedated and with the administration of beta blockers. Also tell them that I have begun."

"Yes Mam." Jackson quipped as he rushed out of the OR in search of Dr. Grey and he couldn't help but feel even more nervous.

* * *

><p>"Derek," Amelia called to her brother as she approached him at the nurse's station. She had left home immediately the second she had received the call. "Oh Derek," She said his name again as she embraced him, pulling him into a hug. She couldn't believe how much older her brother looked since she last saw him, only hours earlier at the school, when they were collecting the kids. "How is she?"<p>

"She is in surgery now. We just got an update. Dr. Hahn has started the surgery and Arizona sedated the twins." Derek told Amelia as he pulled out of her embrace.

"How could this happen? It's just so unfair, after everything you guys have gone through. Der, Mer and the twins they have to be ok…."

"Ames, I keep asking myself the same thing. I can't lose her Amy. Any of them."

"I know Der," Amelia placed her hand on Derek's arm and rubbed it. "Mer is a fighter, she is strong. If anyone can come through this, it's her."

"I know but Amy there is a strong possibility that in order to save her life they are going to have to deliver the babies. They won't stand a chance if delivered now… and then Mer, if she survives…"

"Derek don't! You can't think like that, you need to hope for the best."

"I can't help it Amy; she is everything to me."

"I know Der, and you are everything to her. If the worst happens and you lose the twins, the two of you will get through it Derek. The love you two have can survive anything Derek, as long as you are together you will be ok."

"Your Mother could really give Opera a run for her money with all this love conquers all nonsense she instilled in all her children." Ellis commented as she exited the relative's room and overheard the tail end of Derek and Amelia's conversation.

"Oh my god…" Amelia exclaimed in shock as she turned around and took in the appearance of her best friend's mother as she stood in front of her. In 20 years she had hardly changed a bit and still looked as every bit intimidating as she ever did.

"Well not quite, but I do believe I am close," Ellis retorted. "Amelia, it's good to see that your mouth still engages before your brain. It's so comforting that some things never change."

"Well I really would like to say that it's nice to see that you are still the ogre you always were, but for Meredith's sake I cant. What are you even doing here?"

"Well I would have thought that was obvious, I am here for my daughter."

'Like you have ever even really cared about Meredith…" Amelia argued back.

"How dare you? Just who do you think you are? I don't have to put up with your attitude…"

"Dr. Grey, please…" Derek began, only to be interrupted by Amelia.

"Derek, what are you doing? You don't have to be nice to her or ask her for anything. You and Meredith are both adults now and she no longer has any hold over either of you."

"You are wrong Amy. Until Meredith wakes up she holds all the cards."

"What are you talking about Derek?" Amelia questioned.

"He is talking about the fact that as Meredith's husband died and she and your brother are not married, I am her medical proxy." Ellis answered for Derek. "And as I was saying, you continue with your attitude young lady and I will see to it that neither you nor any member of your family including your brother gets anywhere near my daughter."

Amelia glanced at her brother taking in his beaten down appearance, she was shocked that he was not fighting back but she gathered from previous experience he had probably learned that there was no point in fighting Ellis when she held all the control. She may have won the battle for now but she certainly had not won the war. The war would be won when Meredith was out of danger and was able to tell her to go back and to crawl under the rock she came out of. For Derek's sake she would swallow her pride. "I apologize Ellis, look it is an extremely stressful time, don't take this out on my brother. No matter how much you don't want to hear it, he loves Meredith and she loves him. He is the father of her unborn babies and he has been like a father to Lia since her own father died. If you are hoping for any kind of reconciliation with Meredith I guarantee that should you cut Derek out now, you can kiss any chance of that reunion goodbye."

"Geez aren't we dramatic. You keep your attitude under control and remember just who you are talking to and I won't keep any of you away."

"Thank you Dr. Grey. Amelia will keep out of your way." Derek told Ellis at the same time he gave his sister a warning look as Ellis silently accepted the truce.

"Come on Der, let's go and grab a coffee, we won't be away long and I doubt there will be another update yet." Amelia tugged on Derek's arm.

"Hold on a second," Ellis stopped them from leaving. "Where is my granddaughter?"

'Ex- excuse me," Derek stuttered.

"I said, where is my granddaughter?" Ellis repeated.

"Dr. Grey, I am sorry I can't let you see her, Meredith…" Derek begun.

"Is currently in a critical condition in an OR," Ellis interrupted. "And in case it has slipped your mind I am Meredith's next of kin which means that I am my granddaughter's legal guardian. And there is nothing you can do to prevent me from seeing and taking guardianship of my granddaughter."

Derek suddenly felt his chest get even tighter than it already was. He knew that Meredith would not want Ellis to have anything to do with Lia. She never even knew that she existed. He suddenly let out a panicked gasp as a thought hit him. What if Meredith never survived, he had no legal claim to the little girl he had been raising and had come to love as if she was his own. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that Ellis would take her away from him and never let him have anything to do with her and he would be powerless to stop her from doing so. He quickly said yet another prayer, praying that it didn't come to that as he thought of ways that he could protect his little girl, his princess from the woman who stood in front of him and honour her mother's wishes at the same time.

**Sooo anxious for your thoughts on this...**

**Thanks  
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**Jen xx  
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	51. Chapter 51

**As I made you wait so long between updates I am posting another one now, rather then leave you on the cliff that the last one ended on...**

**Hope you enjoy...  
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Chapter 51 - Second Chance?

Derek smiled briefly as he gently ran his hand over a sleeping Lia's head. No matter how bad things were, as he sat in the chair next to the temporary bed Lia had been set up in looking at the little girl who had captured his heart, he marveled at the fact that her mere presence could make everything seem like it was going to be ok. He suppressed a chuckle as she moved in her sleep, a loud snore emitting from her at the same time. She was so like her mother it was scary but yet so comforting at the same time.

His heart clenched as he was brought back to reality and the current situation he was in hit him full on. The memory of the reason as to why he was there had brought him back to earth with a loud thump. He was there to waken the sleeping princess and to give her news that he knew would only cause her upset and distress.

Fortunately he had, had some time to wrap his head around what he had to tell her, that was his only small reprieve. Richard had come to his rescue last night with Ellis and had managed to convince her to wait until the morning to see Lia, giving him a few hours of saving grace. The arrival of Thatcher Grey had also helped a few hours later when it was decided that Lia should be told of Meredith's accident. He had managed to convince Ellis that Derek should be the one to break the news to Lia alone and that he should also to be the one to introduce them to her. No one however was able to convince Ellis against taking temporary custody of Lia, taking her away from everything she knew, when really what she needed more then anything at this present time was familiarity and for things to be as stable as possible.

Meredith and the twins had thankfully come through the surgery and Richard had been able to successfully go in and repair the damage to her liver and spleen, but she was far from being out of the woods and they had a long road ahead of them. She remained in a critical but stable condition and the level of her blood pressure was still giving cause for concern, there was still talk of having to deliver the twins should it increase any further. They were also concerned about some swelling to her brain and the fact that her intracranial pressure was elevated. At the moment the treatment plan was to wait 24 hours and see if it the swelling and ICP levels corrected themselves, if there was no change she would be taken back into surgery. She had been placed into a medically induced coma to give her body a chance to recover but until she was conscious they wouldn't fully know the full extent of her injuries, whether or not there would be any long term consequences.

The twins were holding on strongly enough for now and Arizona was due to come round in a few hours to do a repeat ultrasound. She had told Derek shortly after Meredith was out of the OR in an attempt to cheer him up, that during the surgery she had been able to clearly see the gender of one of the twins and had asked if he had wanted to know. Derek however as desperate as he was to know had declined, it just didn't feel right to find out with Meredith. He couldn't help but think that it was something that they should have been finding out and celebrating together. Derek brushed a tear that fell from his eyes just as Lia shifted again in her sleep, bringing him out of his thoughts and forcing him to focus on the task at hand, the reason he was there in the first place.

"Lia," he called gently as brushed his hand over the top of her head. He had to repeat her name a further two times before she woke up. "Good Morning Princess," He greeted her as he mustered up a smile for her.

"Good Morning Derek," Lia said cheerfully as she sat up, her hands automatically reached up to rub the sleep from her eyes. "I slept the whole night in the daycare." She stated in surprise, it was the first time she had ever spent an entire night in the daycare and it was also the first time that she had not woken up in her own bed since she came home from the hospital, following her surgery.

"You did indeed princess, sorry about that…"

"That's ok Derek, I slept like a log."

"I bet you did just that," Derek chuckled, Lia absolutely loved her sleep and once she was off, she could sleep pretty much through anything. Yet another thing she had in common with her mother.

"Where's Mama Derek? Did you help her to rock her surgery?" It must have been a really hard boo boo to fix if you took the whole night to do it."

Derek's heart immediately sank with her questions, he took a deep breath as he tried to compose himself, preparing to deliver the news he knew would turn her world upside down. He was dreading the look he knew that was going to take over her features, the frown that would replace her bright smile, the worry that would be evident in her eyes because she knew and had suffered far too much loss for such a young life. He wished more then anything that it would not have to be him who was the one to do it but he knew that he owed it to both Meredith and to Lia for it to be him. At the moment he was the closet thing to family available to her, whom she knew.

"Lia, I have something to tell you but first I want you to promise me that you are not going to worry because everything is going to be ok. Do you promise me?"

"I pwomise, what is it Derek?"

"Last night princess…" Derek begun, taking a deep breath before continuing. "When your Mommy left us at home after dinner to come to the hospital she was in an accident."

"What kind of accident? Is she ok, did she get a boo boo?"

"Whilst she was driving, another car hit her car…." Derek tried to explain but as soon as he mentioned Meredith's car being in a collision Lia began to cry.

"N- nooo, has has she l- left me too, li- like my my other Da- Daddy?" Lia sobbed out as big fat tears rolled down her face.

Derek immediately gathered Lia into his arms and pulled her onto his lap on the chair he sat in, one hand soothing her head as the other rubbed her back as he cradled her in his arms. "No Princess she has not left you I promise, she did get hurt and she had to have surgery to fix some boo boo's but she is out of the OR now."

"Where i- is she?" Lia asked as she pulled back from Derek's chest, her eyes searching his. "I want my mummy…" Lia sobbed.

"I know you do princess but she is sleeping at the moment sweetie, she needs to recover from the surgery, you know like after your surgery you had to sleep?"

"I think so, has she gone to visit with Daddy and my grandma like I did?" Lia asked as her sobs subsided.

"I am not sure but you will be able to ask her when she wakes up." Not every surgeon believes in an afterlife but having heard Lia's story of seeing her father and deceased grandmother during her surgery, Derek had become more convinced that there was one. Lia had technically died during her surgery and when she had woke, she knew things that there was no way of her logically finding out.

"She will wake up won't she Derek? You gots to pinky swear…" Lia expectantly held up her little finger to him.

Derek knew from the surgeon within him that he shouldn't really make a promise like that to her, given Meredith's injuries but at that moment he was not thinking like a surgeon, he was thinking like a father. A father who's little girl needed reassuring that her world as she knew it was not about to end.  
>"I pinky swear that she is going to be fine…" Derek joined his little finger with hers and shook on it and in that moment he said another prayer that what he told her was the truth and that he was not proven to be a liar.<p>

"Can I go see her Derek, I pwomise I will be good and not wake her up?" Lia asked with her huge puppy dog eyes, which instantly bought a smile to Derek's face, apart from her red rimmed eyes Lia once again looked content, he had managed to reassure her.

"Of course you can see her princess but first there are some people that you have to meet."

* * *

><p>"Which one is Amelia?" Ellis asked Derek as she stood with Thatcher and Amy outside the daycare looking in through the window.<p>

"That's her isn't it?" Thatcher asked pointing at Lia as she sat at the cutting out table. After Derek had told Lia about Ellis and Thatcher he asked her to wait in the day care whist he went to get them. Lia for once was being extremely compliant and agreed saying that she would make a picture for her Mommy whilst she was waiting. "She looks just like her mother did at that age."

"Yes, that's Lia," Amy answered on Derek's behalf. She could see how difficult this was for her brother.

"She looks well," Ellis suddenly commented.

'That's because she is well…" Derek responded.

"But I don't understand, what about her tumor?"

"You know about her tumor?" Derek asked.

"Meredith may have cut us out of her life but that didn't mean that I was not aware of what was going on in it. Her chief of surgery at Seattle kept me updated, also why do you think so many surgeons agreed to do consults even after seeing from the scans that her condition was inoperable."

"You pulled strings?" Derek asked in shock, there was no way that Meredith was aware of that. Ellis looked almost human in his eyes now he was almost speechless.

"Of course I did she is my family, Meredith's former chief hasn't been able to update me though since she left Seattle, he and Meredith apparently had a falling out. So I am a little out of date on her condition. How is her out look now?"

"Like I said she is a healthy five, soon to be six year old. Do you know why Meredith came here in the first place?"

"I assume it was for a consult for my granddaughter? I have never had the chance to meet him but I know that Richard has the great Dr. Shepherd on staff as head of Neuro surgery… wait are you saying that Dr. Shepherd successfully removed the tumor?" Ellis questioned.

"That is exactly what my brother is saying," Amelia interrupted. "My brother the great Dr. Derek Shepherd as you just put it, minus his first name, operated on and saved your granddaughters life…"

"You're Dr. Shepherd, you're a surgeon?" Ellis stared at Derek in disbelief.

"I am…"

"But your surname was Maloney? I assumed earlier that you were friendly with all the doctors here because of Meredith, it never crossed my mind that you worked here. I was always sure you would follow in your fathers footsteps."

"Well like him you were mistaken and as for the surname I changed it taking my mothers maiden name."

"I see," Ellis simply said, Derek wasn't entirely sure but he thought he saw a brief look of admiration in her eyes. "So is she well?" Ellis asked nodding in Lia's direction, changing the subject.

"Completely…"

"Thank you Derek, for saving her life." Thatcher stepped forward and unexpectedly pulled Derek into a man hug, patting him on his back. "It's also good to see you again." He said as he pulled back.

"Thank you Mr. Grey, I wish the circumstances would have been different…."

"I doubt this reunion would have happened had they been," Ellis snorted. "Now that's over with lets get on in there and meet our granddaughter Thatch."

"Derek," Lia called as she turned around having heard the door open.

"Hey princess, what are you drawing there?" Derek greeted as he walked over to her with Ellis, Thatcher and Amelia following behind.

"A picture for Mommy silly, I already told you that. Hey Aunty Amy." Lia answered Derek, acknowledging Amelia at the same time as she glanced at Ellis and Thatcher.

"Hey Lia," Amelia replied, waving back.

"Oh silly me." Derek responded to Lia. "Princess remember I told you that there were some people you had to meet? Well…" Derek began his next sentence, only to be interrupted by a forceful Ellis.

"Hello Amelia, my name is Ellis and this is Thatcher. We are your grandparents, your Mom's mommy and Daddy."

Lia regarded Ellis with a frown, "But my mommy don't gots a mommy?" She questioned her. "I only had one grandma my daddy's mommy but she is in heaven now with my other Daddy."

Ellis walked forward towards Lia and to everyone's astonishment she bent down to her level and her voice took on a softer tone.  
>"Well your mommy and I have not seen each other for a long time but I promise you, I am your grandmother."<p>

"I never saw any pictures of you either?" Lia continued to question her. "I know that mans my grandfather," Lia nodded in Thatcher's direction. "He has not seen my mommy in a long time either but mommy showed me his pictures, why didn't she show me your pictures too? Do you not like your picture being taken grandma? Is that why she didn't show me your picture as well?"

If it was anyone else Derek's heart would have ached for the woman resembling Ellis Grey who was crouched down in front of him. He instantly saw her eyes well up with tears and the hurt across her features was immediately evident.

"That's part of the reason Amelia," Ellis said as she quickly composed herself and smiled at her last words. "The rest is a long story which it's probably best for your mommy to tell you."

"She is sleeping you know, the doctors had to give her medicine to make her sleep for a little while so that she can get better. Oh are Dora and boots sleeping too Derek?" Lia asked, her attention now diverted away from Ellis and onto Derek. "Did they get a boo boo too from the accident, are they ok?"

"They are ok Lia, Mommy protected them in her tummy and they are sleeping some of the time but not all of it." Derek reassured Lia, as Ellis looked on with a bemused smile.

"Dora and Boots?" Ellis questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes they are my twins." Lia happily answered. "Mommy and Derek let me name them, do you like their names grandma? I thought of them all by myself, no one helped me."

"You are a smart little girl aren't you?"

"Yes I am, I am the smartest in my entire class…"

"Lia!" Derek admonished whilst Ellis and Thatcher both laughed at her, Amy laughing and shaking her head at the same time at Lia. "What does your mama say about saying things like that?" Derek continued whilst shooting a glare at the adults for encouraging her.

"She says that it might hurt the other kids feelings so I shouldn't say it, but guess what?" Lia said as she looked around. "There are only babies around, no bigger kids and they don't understand, so it's ok."

Derek shook his head at her whilst looking at Ellis who was sporting a huge smile on her face, trust Lia to be able to thaw out the ice queen.

"I think you are right, you are the smartest little girl," Thatcher told her.

"You certainly are," Ellis agreed. "I am really looking forward to getting to know you a lot better too. I have some news for you as well, whilst your Mommy is sleeping what do you think about staying with your grandpa and I?"

"What about Derek? Will he stay too?"

"I am afraid not but we will have lots of fun…"

"No, I don't want to," Lia said as she stood up quickly from her chair and moving to Derek, where she threw her arms around his waist. "I want to stay with my Daddy, Daddy please don't let me go to stay with her, I want to stay with you."

Derek instantly picked Lia up as his heart soared, she called him Daddy for the first time ever. He was beginning to think that she never would, he instantly thought of Meredith and how he wanted to tell her. "Princess it's ok," Derek soothed as he kissed the top of her head, his eyes searching out Ellis Grey's as they silently pleaded with hers once they found them.

Ellis Grey had hated Derek Maloney with a passion ever since he had had been irresponsible enough to get her daughter pregnant. She blamed him for the fact that Meredith had cut her out of her life, when all she was trying to do was stop her from ruining her life. She had seriously believed that had she allowed Derek to remain a part of her daughters life and had allowed her to have the child, Derek would have inevitably destroyed her by following entirely in his fathers footsteps. When the news had come out about his fathers affair all those years back Ellis had not been surprised, her only surprise was that it had taken him so long to be caught out. She knew that he had been playing around on Carolyn for a long time, he had even propositioned her on more then one occasion. She never wanted for Meredith to be put in Carolyn's position and that was what she feared would have happened. Looking at the man standing in front of her now, holding her Granddaughter, the little girl whom she was meeting for the very first time, a child whom he was not even responsible for, a child who's life he had saved when many others had failed, she could not help but wonder if she had been wrong all those years before. Not wrong about the fact that she persuaded Meredith to have an abortion, she still believed that, that was the right thing for her at time, but wrong about keeping Derek out of her life and lying to him about Meredith moving on when he had come looking for her all those years ago. The man standing in front of her was not a clone of Michael Maloney, he was his own person, an honorable man, he couldn't have been more further apart from Michael if he tried. Not only was he fiercely loyal to her daughter and granddaughter, she had discovered that by her interactions with him since she had arrived at the hospital, his reputation in the medical field spoke for him, apart from her daughter he was the most sought after neuro surgeon in the state. Yes she decided, she had made a mistake and it was time to start putting that right, she only prayed that Meredith when she woke up would allow her to continue to do so, they had lost way too much time already.

"Amelia, it's ok if you want to stay with Derek, you can." Ellis said as she gave Derek a rare smile. "I just thought that with your Mommy being unable to look after you, you may have liked to stay with your Grandfather and I."

"Maybe once Mommy is better and she and my Daddy say that it is ok?"

"I think that, that would be perfect. In the meantime though, whilst your Mommy is in the hospital we could get to know each other a little. What do you think about that?"

"But I gets to go home with my Daddy and Swiper?"

"Of course you can go home with your Daddy. But who is Swiper? Don't tell me another sibling?" Ellis asked with an amused look.

"No silly, he is my puppy. Mommy and Daddy buyed him for me, I named him too."

"You certainly have a knack for naming things Amelia." Ellis laughed. "Would that be ok then Derek if Amelia spends some time with Thatcher and I, whilst Meredith recovers?"

Derek knew that by Ellis asking his permission she was backing away from her claims to guardianship over Lia. He didn't have to look too far for the answer as to what had changed her mind, he was holding said answer in his arms. As he took in Ellis's form as she stood in front of him, he could notice the difference in her, it seems that Lia had definitely worked her magic and thawed the ice queen. Up until last night he had held nothing but contempt for the woman stood in front of him, he had blamed her for ruining his life but the truth was she hadn't, not really. Yes she had set in motion for him to spend nineteen years without the love of his life, but he and Meredith had put that behind them now and had moved forward, it didn't do anyone any good to keep living in the past. Provided that the woman and his babies that were currently in the ICU pulled through his life was far from ruined, as long as they and the little girl whom he held in his arms remained with him he was the luckiest man alive. Looking at Ellis and Thatcher it suddenly dawned on him that they were the unlucky ones in all of this, Meredith had cut them off and as such they no longer knew her and they certainly did not know the little girl who he was currently holding and that must be killing them inside. The Ellis he was seeing now in front of him as she stood anxiously waiting for an answer to a question she didn't legally have to ask had changed, even last night she had listened to him and not just that she had done what was best for Meredith, not just her physical well being but also her emotional well being. She could have instructed for their babies to be delivered but she had not, hence giving them a fighting chance and just now she had put Lia's needs first, relinquishing her claims on her. Maybe she had learned her lesson, he wasn't thinking that he would ever forget the past or even completely forgive her, but seeing Lia's eyes light up when she learned that she had more family to love her was enough for him to think that it was time to move on and that maybe, just maybe it was time to give Ellis a second chance, life was just too short and as they all knew too well it could change in an instant, he just hoped that Meredith agreed with his decision...

**So as always would be grateful if you left me a comment with your thoughts...**

**Jen xx  
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	52. Chapter 52

**Hello Everyone**

**Well at least I hope that there are still some of you around reading this to say hello to lol.  
>Once again I profusely apologise for the time it has taken for me to get this written and posted, life has just been so hectic and I have not had the time to write but I promise that I have not forgotten this fic and I will finish it.<strong>

**You have waited long enough so I won't ramble on, without further ado, here's the long awaited update, hope you enjoy...**

Chapter 52 - Think about it

The last twenty four hours had been the most worrying time Derek could honestly say he had ever experienced in his entire life. Fortunately though the gods appeared to be on their sides and Meredith's ICP levels had significantly reduced without the need for medical intervention and her blood pressure had finally began to reduce as well. Derek let out a huge sigh as he bent forward and kissed the back of Meredith's fingers carefully avoiding her IV. If Meredith's condition continued to improve there were plans to try to bring her out of her medically induced coma the following morning. His free hand gently ran across the swell of her abdomen and he couldn't help the smile which graced his features as one of the twins soccer punched him.

"Hey there buddy, you take is easy on your mama for a while," he chuckled slightly as he bent forward and kissed her tummy. He was convinced that one if not both of the baby's was a boy given the force of the punches and kicks they could deliver. Meredith told him time and time again though that he couldn't base his opinions just on that as Lia had been one hell of a kicker; so much so that she was able to make an entire plate of food that was rested on Meredith's stomach fall off with a single kick. Derek smiled at that thought as he could well believe that. Lia was something else. He was kind of dreading her teenage years, she was a complete force of nature and she had him completely wrapped around her little finger. Thoughts of Lia made him smile because if it was not for her, he didn't think he would have gotten through the last 24 hours and remain sane. She had been a welcome distraction. The gentle knock which came from the door interrupted his thoughts and he sat up straight and turned around just as the door opened.

"Ma," Derek said in surprise; although deep down he was not really shocked by her appearance at the hospital. If anything he was surprised that she had stayed away so long.

"I am sorry son that I didn't get here sooner; Amy only let me know an hour ago. You should have called me."

"I am sorry, it's just I didn't want to believe how serious it was. I just kept thinking that Meredith was going to wake at any minute and you know things are difficult…"

"Derek, son, it's ok. You don't need to explain, I just wish I would have been here sooner for you," Carolyn stressed as she walked further into the room and rested her hand on Derek's shoulder as she sat in the chair beside Derek's, next to Meredith's bed. "I know things are difficult between Meredith and I, I take full responsibility for that but you are my son and I will always think of her as my daughter and those are my grandchildren she is carrying, regardless of what has happened in the past."

"I know Ma."

"How is she doing? Amy said that the doctors are not as worried now?"

"Given the circumstances she is doing amazing. There were concerns that the pressure in her brain was too high and that they would have to perform surgery to relieve it. The pressure has come down on its own though, over the course of the day. They were worried about her blood pressure too, it has been really high which was putting a lot of pressure on her heart and for a while it seemed like the only option left to reduce it was to deliver the twins, but by some miracle just as they were preparing to move her back to the OR to conduct a c section her blood pressure began to fall."

"Thank God for that. Well you know if there is one thing that could be said about Meredith it is that she is one hell of a fighter."

"She is that alright."

"Son she is going to come through this just fine; both her and the babies. I suppose I had also better warn you that Nancy is here and has cornered that young doctor, Arizona."

"Usually, you know I would groan at Nancy interfering but given the circumstance we will take any help offered. I think Arizona has it under control, she is going to be amazing in her field. You know she isn't even the head of the department?"

"She isn't? Wasn't she the one who sedated the twins during Meredith's surgery?"

"She was and you know that she developed that procedure all by herself but Dr Lucy Fields heads up the OBGYN department, she is also Meredith's doctor. However, Arizona has been covering for her due to Lucy having to fly back home to look after her mum, following a stroke."

"Oh dear, I feel sorry for Lucy of course but Arizona seems to be doing an outstanding job for Meredith and by the sounds of it the OBGYN department is in safe hands."

"It is and Meredith really likes her too and I trust her."

"That's good dear. It's one less worry for you. How have Ellis and Thatcher been with you?" Carolyn asked, changing the subject.

Derek didn't miss the look of hurt that passed over his mother's face; he could only presume that it was because Ellis and Thatcher had been informed about the accident before her. "Surprisingly they have been ok. Ma I know you are upset that they were here first, but it wasn't me that called them, the Chief had to call them. With Meredith and I not being married, Ellis and Thatcher are her medical proxy."

"I am surprised that Meredith didn't change that over the years, but I suppose it's only natural. After all, no matter what, they are still her parents."

"Oh I hardly think that's the reason. Ma you know Meredith was married right?" Derek asked; as silly as it seemed, it was obvious that he was still struggling with the thought that his Meredith had been married to someone other than him and he was quite bitter about that fact.

"Of course dear," Carolyn said gently as she rubbed Derek's arm.

"Well whilst she was married her husband was obviously her proxy and since his death, she has returned here permanently, we got back together, there's Lia and then of course the pregnancy; it must have just completely slipped her mind."

"That's completely understandable, saying that she has been through a lot this year is an understatement." Carolyn lent forward and gently placed her hand on Meredith's arm. "Don't worry though son, I am sure that it is something Meredith will promptly fix once she wakes up."

"Oh you bet it will be fixed," Derek stated as he pulled out a box from his pocket and handed it to his mom.

"Oh Derek, it's beautiful and perfect for her," Carolyn gasped as she took in the elegant diamond ring. She had always hoped that one day she could pass on her own engagement ring to Derek, to give to his soul mate but giving his strained relationship with his father and how Meredith currently felt about her, it wouldn't have been a good move to make.

Derek suddenly let out a bitter laugh. "You know the stupid thing is that I have been carrying that damn thing around in my pocket for a few months now. I, more than anyone, should know to always live in the moment, that life can change in an instant and happiness can suddenly be taken away without notice." Derek let go of Meredith's hand that he had been continuing to hold as he angrily swiped away tears as they began to form.

"Oh Derek," Carolyn stressed as she too let go of Meredith's arm, turning and embracing her son, pulling him into her chest, just as she had many times when he was a child and throughout the difficult period he went through when he lost Meredith the first time around. "Listen to me, Meredith is going to be just fine, you are going to get to put that ring on her finger and the two of you will get your happy ever after."

"I shouldn't have been a coward mom. I should have just asked her the same way I should have stood up to Ellis and Dad," Derek hissed as he pulled out of Carolyn's embrace, not wanting to be comforted by her.

"Oh no you don't," Carolyn warned him. "You were barely an adult Derek. If anyone should have stood up to them, it should have been Thatcher and I. I was selfish though and just wanted to protect my baby; all I could see was you being thrown in jail and both yours and Meredith's life being destroyed but you know what they say about hindsight being 20/20 vision. Looking back now I wish every day that I could go back and change the past. I wish that I would have fought Ellis, sought legal advice instead of just allowing her to railroad that poor girl into making a decision that she will carry with her, her entire life." It was now Carolyn who was brushing off tears. "We all lost so much that day Derek, I never just lost a grandchild but I lost two children as well. You were never the same after Meredith left but I have seen that spark back in your eyes on the few times I have seen you since she has returned…"

"Ma," Derek tried to interrupt.

"No son, you have nothing to feel guilty about. I don't blame you for choosing to abide by Meredith's wishes. I only have myself to blame but I swear to you I only went along with them because I was concerned about you, about your future and what Meredith's future would be like should you have been put in prison. Derek, she was only 16 years old but there is not a day that goes by now that I did not wish that I took her from that house; if the worse came to the worse and you were thrown in jail I would have helped you both through it but at the time I couldn't think like that, all I could think about was that I was going to lose you and your life was going to be destroyed by Ellis. I thought of Meredith like she was one of the family, I had known her practically her entire life but that day Derek I had to choose, you or her and as ashamed as I am to admit it I chose you, your life and that was the only reasoning behind me going along with Ellis. I swear that I never did it to protect your father's career; I could not have cared less about it but I can't expect Meredith to forgive me, she trusted me and I let her down Derek, I let you both down."

"Oh Ma," Derek embraced his Mom. "I know you did what you did for me and I know one day Mer will come round. You just need to give her time."

"I really hope so son. I do love that girl like my own and I want to be a part of my grandchildren's lives and I am talking about Lia too. Like Ellis, I want a chance to get to know my granddaughter as well." Carolyn suddenly felt Derek's body stiffen in her arms. "What is it son? You don't think she will let me play a part in Lia's life?"

"It's not that Ma. It's just you reminded me that Ellis is spending time with Lia and I really do not know how that is going to go down with Meredith."

"I must say I was surprised to see Lia with Ellis when I met Amelia in the cafeteria."

"I didn't really have a choice, I have no legal claim over Lia. If Ellis wanted to, she could take Lia and there would not be a single thing that I could do to stop her."

"Oh dear lord, you don't think she will, do you?"

"I don't think so, not now." Derek shook his head. "At first she was intent on taking guardianship of Lia but when I introduced them Lia convinced me to let her stay with me. Ma, she called me Dad for the first time…"

"Oh Derek, that's wonderful," Carolyn beamed with delight.

"Even if she were my biological daughter Ma, I don't think I could love her anymore. She was very close to Matt, her father, and I didn't think she would ever feel close enough to me, to call me Dad."

"Children are very resilient, sometimes they just need time to adjust and I know I only just met her, but son once she learned that I was your mommy she kicked up a storm talking about you. It is very clear that she adores you."

"I bet Ellis wasn't too impressed," Derek chuckled.

"Well actually you would be surprised there Derek, Ellis actually told her some stories about you and Meredith and the whole time we were with them she didn't stop smiling. It was weird; it was as if I was talking to a stranger."

"It's Lia, Ma. I swear she is a miracle worker. When she first met Ellis it was as if she melted the ice queen on sight."

"She is absolutely adorable and so much like her Mom. She reminded me of when Meredith was her age," his mom smiled.

"Not only are they alike but they also have the same personality," Derek chuckled.

"I wish you luck then son because you will need it when she hits her teenage years." Carolyn said as she joined in and laughed with Derek.

"Oh thanks Ma," Derek continued to chuckle. He didn't mind though; he would love and cherish every moment. "How did she seem Mom?"

"She seemed happy dear, she was enjoying being the centre of attention and I can tell you that past aside, that little girl seemed very much to be the centre of Ellis and Thatcher's world."

"That's what I saw too Mom. You know she has actually been helping Lia…"

"I thought you said that Meredith hasn't had any contact with Ellis since she turned 18 and that she had never even met Lia before?"

"She hadn't but apparently Ellis was friends with Meredith's Chief of Surgery at the last hospital she worked at. He was feeding her bits of information on Meredith's life and kept her informed about what was going on with Lia's illness. Of course I am positive Meredith never knew about this but Ellis apparently pulled strings, called in favours and made numerous surgeons give a consult on Lia even when they had no intention on operating. She made sure that Meredith continued to have hope, even when at that time in her life there was none. You know Dr. Hahn wanted to deliver the twins in order to give Meredith a better chance of surviving the surgery on her heart and Ellis could have given permission for her to do so. We would have lost them Ma but she didn't, she made her attempt the surgery first without delivering. It's thanks to Ellis we still have them with us and the way she has been with Lia, I really think she has changed and maybe deserves a second chance, not just for her sake but for Lia's too; she deserves to know her grandparents."

"You're right; everyone deserves a second chance in life, even Ellis Grey. I have no doubt that she loves Meredith and yes she hasn't exactly shown it in the past, but I think she has learned from her mistakes. I know me and your father certainly have…."

"Ma, please don't bring him into this," Derek pleaded with her.

"Derek dear, I understand your anger towards him but it's time to let go, you are talking about giving Ellis Grey a second chance and it sounds like you think Meredith should too. I know your Father has made mistakes but they are in no way any worse than the ones Ellis made. How can you even begin to think of asking Meredith to forgive Ellis and allow her to be a part of Lia's life when you won't even consider giving your father a second chance? You have given Ellis the chance to redeem herself, at least give him the same chance too. Think about it son…"

[B]Thank you for reading, love it or hate it as always I am eager for your comments, nothing motivates me more to write.


	53. Chapter 53

Apologies for my long absence and thank you to all the loyal readers and welcome to the new ones too and thank you so much for your comments, they really do motivate me to write. It may take a while but I promise I will finish this story

Jen xx

Hope you enjoy...

**Chapter 48 I plead the 5th….**

"I swear that kid could charm the tide from coming in, you should have seen her Mer she had everyone eating out of the palm of her hand. The entire canteen was in stitches of laughter at Mark Sloane's expense, especially when she put Christina's make up bag to good use, the red lipstick went down well with the feather boa and tiara. You know he just sat there and allowed her to do it, he has gone up an estimation in my books for the simple fact that it was him she did it to, which meant that I got spared." Derek chuckled at the memory and continued to talk about anything and everything as he sat next to Meredith's bed with her hand in his, absent mindedly stroking the backs of her fingers, being careful to avoid her cannula. It had been 4 hours now since her medically induced coma had been reversed and although she was now breathing on her own there had not been any signs of her regaining consciousness. His thoughts were starting to become more somber, his neuro surgeon brain kicking in, he knew the longer she remained unconscious the chances of her having sustained long term brain damage increased. The mere thought of that happening caused a sob to rip through his body and it was at that moment that a knock on the door happened and his sister Nancy entered immediately rushing to his side.

"Oh Der!" She exclaimed as she took the empty seat next to him and enveloped him into her arms.

"Nance… I- I- cant lose her." Derek sobbed as he held onto his sister having let go of Meredith's hand.

"Derek you can not think that way, you are not going to lose her, Meredith is strong, she is a fighter and she will come through this if not for you and Lia but for those two precious babies growing inside her. Who by the looks of it are trying to wake their Mama too… Look Der."

Derek pulled back from Nancy wiping the tears from his face, his last sob breaking into a laugh at the sight of Meredith's abdomen jumping all over the place, Nancy was not kidding. "I really hope you are right Nance…" Derek said as he put his hand on to Meredith's swollen tummy running it over the places where the most movements were.

"Aren't I always?" Nancy said with a smirk.

"Hmmm no comment…"

"Ass!" Nancy said as she hit him on his shoulder at the same time. "Her latest results are looking good Der," Nancy declared as she glanced over at Meredith's monitors, Derek eyes followed her line of vision.

"Dr. Hahn said…" Derek nodded in agreement, "but her BP is still higher then we want."

"It's really not that bad now Der considering what it was, Dr. Hahn likes to scare people she has an appalling bedside manner if you ask me. I have seen patients in much more dire circumstances with bigger odds stacked against them and there have been happy endings."

"I really hope you are right Nance, I- I just cant…"

Nancy placed her hand over Derek's hand that was resting on Meredith's abdomen, stilling his words. "Derek you have to remain positive, you have got to keep fighting for her too and believe she will come back to us. God you guys have been through too much together for it to end this way. I don't know why this has happened after everything the two of you went through but you will come out stronger, you have to believe that Der."

"I am trying to Nance honestly but the longer she remains unconscious the more vocal the Doctor in me becomes…"

"And that is just why Doctor's don't treat their own families," Nancy interrupted. "We become irrational. Mer is the biggest fighter I know, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that she is doing her best to come back to us. The fact she survived this long and has managed to avoid having to have the babies delivered is a mere testament to that fact."

"I love her so much Nancy." Derek stated as he nodded in agreement at the same time he said another silent prayer that Meredith would come back to them.

"Do you remember April Kempner?" Nancy asked with a chuckle.

"Oh God, yes of course," Derek said with a shudder, April had lived in their neighborhood and attended the same school as Meredith and Amelia. She had, had a huge crush on him when they were younger and she was not one of Meredith's favourite people. "What in Gods name made you bring her up?"

"I saw her a few hours when I was on my way into the hospital, she was visiting a friend. Just now talking about Mer being a fighter brought back memories of when she kicked her ass after she tried to kiss you next to the bleachers at the high school soccer game, one minute she was standing and the next minute she was falling over the barrier and landing in a pile of manure that the mascot Donkey had produced on the field." Derek and Nancy both laughed at the memory of Meredith going cage fighter, their laughs were suddenly interrupted though by a voice Derek wasn't sure he would ever hear again.

"I- I plead the 5th…" Meredith said in a croaky voice. Derek and Nancy were immediately up out of their seats and bending over her.

"Oh my God, Mer, baby can you hear me? you are awake…"

"Der- Derek, what happened?" Meredith asked as she squinted, the light in the room hurting her eyes.

Nancy noticed this and immediately dimmed the lights, whilst checking over Meredith's vitals. "I am going to go and have Doctor Hahn paged," Nancy announced before Derek could answer Meredith. "It's good to have you back with us," Nancy said with tears of happiness as she bent over and kissed Meredith's cheek before leaving the room to give Meredith and Derek a moment as she went to page Meredith's Doctor.

"Oh baby you can't believe how happy I am to hear your voice," Derek declared with his own tears as he bent over and placed several kisses over Meredith's face. "I love you so much!"

"I know Der, me too. Thr- throat sore…"

"Let me get you some water," Derek poured some water and helped Meredith sip some. "Better?" Derek questioned after she had drank a few sips.

Meredith nodded signaling that she had, had enough. "What happened?" She questioned once again.

"You were in a car accident Mer, some drunk driver ran a red light."

Meredith's hand went straight to her abdomen as if she suddenly remembered that she was pregnant. "The babies?"

"Sssh they are absolutely fine, you need to keep calm baby, we can't let your BP raise any further. You had to have surgery on your aorta, the crash caused a tear and for a little while it looked like the babies would have needed to be delivered to give you a chance of survival but miraculously your blood pressure stabilized and we were able to avoid delivery."

"Thank God, it's way too soon. Derek they have to come first, you can't let anything happen to them, you have to promise me…"

"Mer, baby please you need to keep calm," Derek stressed in a panicky tone as the sounds of Meredith's monitors started to sound as her pulse began to increase, he began placing small kisses once again over her face and the monitors silenced once again. "I promise you they are fine, I won't let anything happen to any of you."

"Where's Lia? She wasn't….?" Meredith began to ask a question but Derek aware of what she was going to ask answered before she could finish to avoid her heart rate and BP from rising further.

"Lia is perfectly safe, she is with Amy at the moment, as soon as Doctor Hahn has been I will get Amy to bring her in, she will be so happy to see you. You were alone in the car when you had the accident. You were on your way to work and Lia was home with me, what's the last thing you remember?"

"Hmmm…" Meredith sighed in deep concentration. "Shepherds pie?"

"That's fantastic Mer, yes you made Shepherds pie before you left for your shift, we had it for dinner…"

"My Mother?" Meredith suddenly interrupted, "Is my Mother here?"

"Hmm…" Shit! Derek thought he was hoping to put that conversation off for a little longer and as if God was listening to him, he was saved by the bell for the time being by the arrival of Doctor Hahn.

"I hear our patient is awake!" She announced as she entered the room.

"She most certainly is and we are so happy to see you!" Derek declared without thinking, the joy of seeing her was evident in his voice which earned him a strange look from both Doctor Hahn and Meredith. He was definitely going to be in trouble, he was now on a mission to prolong Doctor Hahn's visit so he could prolong having the conversation that he really did not want to have...

**Would love to hear your opinions...**

**Thanks for reading**

**Jen xx**


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